Absolute Impostors by Red-Rum-18
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": Good day, Mr. Cobblepot.
"AptenForst": Who is this? How the hell did you get my private e-mail?
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": I wish to inform you of an attempt on your life that will procede tonight.
"AptenForst": Is that some threat? You should probably know I do to gobshites like you for that.
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": On the contrary, I would very much like to prevent this misfortune. If you are willing to grant me something in return.
"AptenForst": Extortion, then. I ain't falling for that. Go back to Tumblr, you little f**k.
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": They are five cretins who CLAIM are with the Matchstick. They know about your backroom dealings in weapondry. They have your home address, the names of your family, your employees, the doctor who supplies your psychiactric pills, the address of the high school your son attends. Let me know if you're interested, yet.
"AptenForst": Go on.
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": I know when and where they will strike. I am willing to give you THEIR names and addresses, and how they plan on proceding, for a price.
"AptenForst": Fine. How much?
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": Not money. Information. I know you had a run-in with The Batmanbefore he disappeared from public gossip. I want a file on all you know about him.
"AptenForst": Fine, but you first.
For several months after the disappearance of The Batman, members of the internet-based activism movement called Matchstick had been meeting in private spaces to plan actual murders and vandalism/sabotage of corporate and government facilities. Several members had been arrested so far, all wearing costumes based on Batman, unintentionally creating more public dislike of superheroes, such as the Justice League, a super-team Batman helped create. None of the arrested Matchstickmen have revealed the truth to federal investigators, and some even killed themselves to avoid confessing. Bruce Wayne, an influential, wealthy, and intelligent entrepeneur, worked with the FBI, through federal psychological profiler Dr. Hugo Strange, to create a new cyber-security initiative called EIE (Electronic Information Examination) to help root out anyone involved in Matchstick's activities. The irony is that, not only was Bruce the Batman (who abandoned the identity and the responibility after being forced to kill The Joker), he was also one of the original founders of Matchstick; both the Matchstickmen's crimes and Bruce's efforts with the Feds to stop them drove an even bigger wedge between him and Barbara Gordon, another founder of Matchstick and Bruce's ex-girlfriend.
For some months, five Matchstick men have been meeting in real life to plan an assault on the Boston, MS estate of a seemingly "untouchable" black market gun-runner.
His name is Oswald Cobblepot, CEO of Iceberg Entertainment and gun runner.
The five so-called "Batmen", or "Bat-Impostors" (as the FBI calls them) planning this are:
Theodore "Tad" Ryerstad,
Harper Rowe,
her brother Cullen Rowe,
Mitchel Mayo,
and their leader Jean-Paul Valley.
The five convened in a motel in Boston for months before they carried out their plan. They stole the identities of several gun-liscence carriers and used them to buy regular hand guns, using them to ambush and hijack a car carrying weapons for Cobblepot; Harper pretended to be a prostitute and offered the drivers some "service", allowing her brother Cullen and the others, all masked, to kill them by surprise and take the truck. Some time later, at a Strauss Memorial High, Oswald's teenaged son Ignatius "Iggy" Cobblepot, was caught smoking weed on campus. He was sent to the principal's office, where he met the "substitute" guidance councilor for the day. It was actually Mitch, who kidnapped Iggy at gunpoint and forced him into the group's van. It was later that same day that Oswald had recieved the information from his mysterious benefactor, so he called up all of his employees (both legitimate and nefarious) to warn them, along with his son Iggy and his wife Margaret Pye. He texted Iggy, demanding he respond with a call. In their van, the Impostors had a laptop with a program that recorded Iggy's voice to imitate him and make Oswald think Iggy was on his way home safely... with a guest.
Harper convinced Iggy that her team was going to steal from his father's estate, and if he co-operated he and his family wont be harmed. Iggy told his father that he would be bringing home a girl (since Oswald and his wife have relaxed morals on premarital relations), and Harper followed him to the mansion. At the front door of the mansion, the Cobblepots' bodyguard, Tony Bossworth, and his men immediately pulled guns on her, having already learned who she is from their boss' mysterious benefactor. Harper pulled a gun out of Iggy's clothes and shot the three goons. She then shot and killed Iggy and then took the remainder of her equipment she hid on him. The other Impostors began their attack, assaulting the rear entrance to the estate. Despite the failed surprise attack, the Impostors' firepower was able to match Cobblepot's men's higher numbers. Jean-Paul and Tad then broke into Oswald's office and shot at both him, his wife, and their assistant Tracey Buxton, killing Margaret. But before he could kill Oswald, Tony (who was merely wounded) shot Tad from behind and killed him before knocking out Jean-Paul.
The police and paramedics arrived to arrest Jean-Paul and his team and tend to the wounded. Jean-Paul protested that Cobblepot was corrupt and needed to be brought down, but all for naught. As Oswald buried his wife and son, he sent his men to the home addresses of the Impostors to destroy their computers and all data they have on him. He also paid off the Boston police and presiding judge to make sure they suffer.
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": I would like to send my deepest regards for your loss.
"AptenForst": I'M NOT GIVING YOU S**T.
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": What is this hostility? I provided the information as promised, and I reasonably assumed you would succeed in how it was used in that situation.
"AptenForst": My wife and son are dead, you a**pile. You have no bleeding right to ask me for anything, money or no.
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": Be reminded that I also know what you do behind closed doors. I could certainly blow the whistle on you to the feds instead of feeding you a bullet, like those savages would have.
"AptenForst": Fine, you bloody whore-son. Take the data if it'll make you piss all the way off. But I will find out who you are and fillet you if you EVER try to contact me again.
"Cockcrow_Quadruped": Thank you for your cooperation.
"AptenForst": F**k you.
Oswald shut down his computer and, in a fit of rage, threw a bottle of his medication at the mirror in his office. Then he took his umbrella and smashed the mirror with it, then kneeling and slamming on the carpet with it to smash the broken pieces. Tracy tried to hold him back, but Oswald the punched her in the face and stabbed her in the throat with the tip of him umbrella hard enough to crucially injure her. As Oswald's men dragged her off to see Dr. Balcescu, a shady surgeon he keeps in his pocket, he picked up a call on his cell phone. It was from "Circe", a black-market dealer in illegal medical technology (i.e. weaponized cyborg implants). Oswald said the "deal is still on", but decided, instead of money for his weapons, he would like her doctors to perform a "procedure" on Tracey...
Notes:
* Oswald's private email address is a shortened version of "Aptenodytes forsteri", the binomial name of his favorite bird, the emperor penguin.
* Hugo Strange was the same man who saved young Bruce's life in a riot at the Arkham Institute, the same incident that killed Bruce's parents.
* The EIE initiative is a reference to mainstream Batman's work on a version of Brother Eye, which accidentally lead to an invasion of Eye-controlled cyborgs called OMAC.
* Barbara Gordon's father James Gordon is a high-ranking officer of the FBI.
* Setting Oswald's estate in Boston instead of Pittsburgh is a self-reference to my New Amalgam Comics, where I fused Gotham City (replaced by Pittsburgh here in AbDC) with Boston.
* Jean-Paul, a former mole for the Matchstick inside the now-defunct Church of Saint Dumas(analogous of both Scientology and the Westboro Baptist Church), is based on Azrael.
** His Bat-Armor is based on Azrael's Batman costume.
* Tad Ryerstad is based on Nite-Wing, a clumsy a-hole vigilante accidentally similar in name to the much-more competent Nightwing.
* Harper and Cullen are pretty much the same.
* Mitch Mayo is based on my fave Batman villain, The Condiment King (sadly, I couldn't figure out his gimmick's unexplored potential for AbDC...).
* Oswald's son Iggy is based on "Ignatius Ogilvy", and his wife Margaret Pye on "Magpie".
* Strauss Memorial High is named after Eric and Linda Strauss, two bearers of the name Doctor Fate in the original comics (because I found out that their HQ, the Tower of Fate, is located in Salem, MS in some versions).
* Tracey survived her boss' assault due to the surgical skills of Dr. Angela Balcescu (based on The Crime Doctor), but lost her voice. Circe's doctors recovered her voice with a cybernetic implant. One that can amplify her voice to dangerous degrees as a weapon...
