Of all the prayers I could write down. I’m a bit disappointed that its this one. To not care. Not care when she talks to him on the phone…or that she’s not being honest about it…or that she owes me nothing…or that they talk about sex and she laughs at his jokes…and that at some point they’re probably mocking me…I want to not have dreams about fighting over women…I want to have dreams about making art…My craft is my only grace from these things…People are completely unreliable for good things…but bad shit is easy to predict…I am talented and I’d love to live in the notion that my art is all I need…that no more is required…That I will be fine without… God I wish I could be fine without…I’m tired of shit seeming so simple and easy for others…but so damn stressful for me and mine…what’s that about? Who says all suffering is sweet? Sadists probably…I am not by any stretch of the imagination asking for much. Just to reach into my own mind and turn off the switch that cause me to care about what she does and who she does it with…I want to not care…I also want to be fair in my choices…endurance…strength young man she said…and I intend to take that either to heart or to the grave…but let my art exist as a testament to my difference…my uniqueness to my…extraordinary…uncanny talents that are both amazing and spectacular… Real initials are RR…and my sister in law says I remind her of Peter Parker…Let’s hope she’s right.