I am hoping to send this submission to a comic book publisher and I was hoping to get feedback, thanks in advance.
Central characters
Alias: Grim
Physical appearance: young, light brown hair, blue eyes, early twenties, average attractiveness, quite thin
Costume: Black trousers, bit tight long sleeve shirt (dark blue, black Y pattern on front and back that meet at the shoulders, also has black lines that go down the back of each arm), mask (plain, tight fitting, black, covers the whole head but not the neck and has eye holes just large enough not to impede vision), wears black trainers with bits of blue. Out of costume he wears the costume except the mask and the shirt is covered by a zipped up army green jacket.
Known powers:
· Super speed
· Super strength
· Super stamina
· Super hearing
Alias: The Shadow
Physical appearance: Very tall, broad, shadow black skin (body looks like solid shadow), all white eyes, no visible mouth, nose or ears.
Costume: None
Known Powers:
· Super strength
· Superhuman resistance to injury
· Super speed
· Super smell
Script
Page 1
Panel 1: In the top left corner it says ‘Doningdale Police Station, 11:37pm’. The panel shows the interior of the main room of a police station, showing various typical unimportant interactions. In this panel Grim is being taken to a prison cell in the back in his civilian identity, no focus on this, depicted as another typical unimportant interaction, in the direction to the prison cell have two police officers talking, again with no special focus.
Page 2
Panel 1: Shows a close up of the two male police officers talking with Grim being taken to his cell in the background, he has a smirk on his face. One of the police asks the other “Hey have you seen Tom, we were going to go out later but I haven’t seen him.” The other police officer replies “No, I saw him go on patrol while ago but I haven’t seen him come back yet.”
Panel 2: From an over a shoulder shot of a young female bystander, she’s afraid, looking out her living room window in a flat building on the second floor to the street below. In the street is a very tall, broad, shadowy figure (The Shadow) standing near a pool of blood coming from an alley on the left side of the bystander’s window. The figure glances to her window; she has her phone and presses 999.
Panel 3: The panel focuses on a police officer receiving the bystander from the previous panel’s call about the Shadow having killed a man, this police officer fills up the panel, and he is sitting at a desk. He says “Sir!”
Panel 4: Shows the police chief (middle-aged, brown greying hair, well built for his age) standing with authority in front of the police in the main room, he says “Right we’ve got a call about the Shadow, Davidson, Brown, Jackson, Jacobs, Peterson. You’re going to have a look; it’s at Blue Grove Street. The witness is Isabella Black, she lives in flat 8 of the only building of flats on the street” (Grim is not shown in this panel)
Page 3
Panel 1: In the top left corner of the panel it says ‘Blue Grove Street, 12:15’. Police arrived at the scene of the crime, the police cars are parked to the left of the bystanders’ window. The street is empty; the blood seems to be gone. The panel view comes from the bystander’s window though what’s within isn’t shown.
Panel 2: The panel view comes from opposite the door to the bystander’s flat building, one police officer opens the door, he says “I’ll speak to the witness, you lot can look around.”
Panel 3: The police officer who went to speak to the witness is shown flying through the window, the panel view comes from inside the living room, in the bottom left of the panel Isabella, is partially shown (her bleeding head and left arm) dead on the floor.
Panel 4: The panel view comes from opposite the flat building. The Shadow has jumped out the window, in the panel he’s shown just short of landing on the ground, the police officer that went flying through the window is dead nearby and the remaining police are standing around the street, looking at the Shadow.
Panel 5: The panel view is the same as the last panel but more focus on the Shadow. The villain is standing in the street with the police standing around him. Grim is moving in a blur, in costume, towards the Shadow from the Shadow’s left side, the Shadow glances towards Grim not having fully reacted or registered it given Grim’s speed.
Panel 6: The panel view is further back, showing more of the whole street. The Shadow is hit by Grim, he’s sent hurtling 15ft down the street, he’s shown mid hurtle with Grim shown standing where the Shadow was.
Page 4
Panel 1: The panel view is the same as the last panel. In the panel the Shadow moves at super human speed towards Grim, at one end of the panel he is shown getting up, in the same panel he’s shown mid run between where he got up and where Grim is, again in this panel he is shown having grabbed Grim’s neck and has shoved him to the ground. One of the police furthest right says “Bu...Back away from Grim and put your hands up or we’ll open fire” though the Shadow takes no notice.
Panel 2: This panel focuses solely on the position the Shadow and Grim are in at the end of the past panel though Grim has primed his legs to kick the Shadow off. The police shoot at the Shadow from off panel, the Shadow is looking in the direction of the gun fire, looking mildly angry but relatively unharmed.
Panel 3: The panel view comes from over the shoulder of the nearest police officer to the Shadow, the Shadow is barrelling towards the police officer (shown to be close), the hero is right behind the Shadow though not as focused on, and he’s reaching for the Shadow.
Panel 4: Shows the Grim having tackled the Shadow passed the Shadow’s targeted police officer into a wall behind him, making a crater in the wall of a two story building, showing this from behind the hero and from a direction that shows the targeted police officer’s reaction.
Panel 5: The Grim has backed away and he and the police are standing around the Shadow. The panel view comes from behind the Grim and above, having focus on the Shadow who is looking at the people around him and looks panicked.
Panel 6: The Shadow has jumped up the wall; the panel shows him having just reached the top. The panel view is the same as the last panel except it looks up to the Shadow instead of down. Grim says “Shit”.
Panel 7: The same panel view as before, Grim starts’ jumping up the wall, the Shadow is out of sight, Grim says “thanks for the assist”, one of the police reply “alright then...”
Page 5
Panel 1: In the top left corner of the panel it says ‘5 minutes later’, the panel shows one police officer looking down the previously bloody alley and sees the missing police officer dead, pushed partially behind a large bin, the panel view comes from just behind the dead police officer, looking up at his discoverer.
Panel 2: In the top left corner of the panel it says ‘back at the police station’ In this panel there is an open prison cell with the window at the back broken open, two police are looking in, on the floor is a note. The panel view is opposite the back wall of the prison cell, only showing the prison interior and the two police standing at the door way.
Panel 3: the panel is taken up just by the note which says:
“Dear Police
By now you have likely realised I’m not a normal criminal. Well in case you haven’t figured it out I’ll just tell you that I am Grim. I’d just like to say thanks for the help with fighting the Shadow (which I assumed you helped with, if not then screw you) and thanks for helping me find him. He has a superhuman sense of smell and (not to boast) given the many times I’ve beaten him, he’s been avoiding me, he knows when I’m close before I do so I got myself arrested and used my superhuman hearing to listen for a call about him. Sorry if any police got hurt taking him down.
P.S. Sorry about the police cell, I’d pay for it but secret identity and all that so...bye.
-Grim”
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