I have sat here for half an hour listening to this drivel. Well it is live daytime TV what was I expecting, Shakespeare? Anyway Councilman Eric Wellings is still flapping his gums to Summer Dane as I stand up and activate my change into The Quoll. A few people gasp but most sit like blights staring straight ahead. A production assistant runs up to me and as he goes to speak realises who I am.
“Oh god, no, no, not you!”
“Just sit down and shut up or I’ll rake your face!” I flash my claws and he sits like an obedient puppy. I wouldn’t hurt him that’s not my style. But this carrier bashing b#!!$#!+ has got to stop.
“Hey, Wellings!” I call as I head to the set.
He squints as he tries to peer past the studio lights “Yes?”
I set into view and watch his face drop “G’day!”
Wellings fumbles for his CBTF pager in his pocket. I’m not here to hurt him; I am here to hopefully educate everyone. “Ms Dane. Sorry to butt in.”
“Don’t hurt me quol!” she cowers covering her face.
I groan and rip Wellings’ microphone off him “Right, let’s get a few things straight! I am the Quoll! Not the quol or however you people attempt to pronounce my name. Say it with me. Qwuh. Whoall. Quoll.”
The audience parrots it back to me. It’s kinda nice and kinda weird having a room full of middle age and elderly people drone your name back to you. Especially on Summer Dane Live.
“Now Wellings here wants you to think all us carriers are dangerous. First of all, carriers! Do you think that’s a nice term to call people Eric? Carriers! Why not infected? Or cursed? You automatically called us something dangerous EVEN WHEN WE WERE FIGHTING OFF THAT BLIGHT HOARD! You forget that people like me, like Cobalt, like Zack Attack even though he’s an idiot! I get given super powers, I defend the city and now you try to hunt me down!”
“Because you’re dangerous!” snarled Wellings from his chair “You take us hostage here on TV…”
“Whoa! Mate, I came here because you won’t return my calls, my letters, emails or confirm appointments! I’ve tried every channel but you keep ducking me. Councilman, why do you treat me like a third class citizen? Aren’t I human?”
“Look at you! You’re a monster!” spat Wellings
“So you judge me by my skin? That’s kinda ironic coming from you who is half black, half...whatever your other bloody half is. My powered form, yes I look like a human quoll. Fur, claws, beady eyes but I’m still human. I still vote. I have rights! And even if I’m an animal, they’ve got rights to you fat sack of crap!”
I step in close to the now heavy sweating elected official, so close my superior sense of smell is almost overwhelmed by the fear stink radiating off him. “Well…Eric. What do you say?”
“Oh thank god,” he whispers as his eyes dart to the left. Means that a CBTF team is here; getting faster every day. Now gotta make sure I survive and they don’t kill anyone with their overzealous approach to catching my kind.
I slowly turn; hands raised “Hello boys!”
There are four CBTF members in full battle regalia pointing weapons at me; two are net guns, god knows what the other two have. Hope it isn’t those pepper spray cannons.
“On your knees!”
I smile, “Don’t b#!!$#!+ a b#!!$#!+er mate! Why not be honest to yourselves and the people at home about what you’re going to do IF you manage to catch me.”
“We cut the feed Kangaroo Jack,” sneers the leader from inside his full faced helmet.
“Well mate; that makes what I’m going to do a little easier.” I jump forward narrowly avoiding the first net which ensnares Wellings. The second net heads my way but thankfully I’m faster and on top of the leader before he knows what’s what. I smash a hand through the visor as my other hand reefs the helmet off his head. “Kangaroo Jack? Really? Who asides from you and Jerry O’Connell saw that film huh?”
I hurl the helmet at the fourth CBTF guy who’s trying for a shot; he moves and returns fire with a blast from…oh great, it is a pepper cannon! I spin their leader into the billowing cloud and push him forward.
“Love to stay fellas,” I give a cheeky wave and make a break for the exit. I can hear Wellings yelling the background. If one team is here that means there’s going to be more shortly, plus at least a dozen cops. I don’t want to hurt them; they’re only doing their jobs.
**
I briskly walk into Indigo Central Police Station and make a bee line back to where I am supposed to be working when the piercing shrill whistle of Captain Caleb McDonald hits my ears.
“Irwin!”
I roll my eyes up into my head and fight the urge to turn into the Quoll. A deep breath and I turn to face him, who more and more looks like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat. I tense my throat remembering to put on the Canadian accent. “Yes Caleb.”
“My office!” He snaps his fingers.
What is it now? I trudge into his office and sit down, watching his eyebrow raise.
“Did I say you could sit, Irwin?”
“No Caleb, you didn’t.”
“Captain McDonald,” he corrects. I know it, but since I’m not actually a police officer I don’t technically answer to him, I answer to the city. “What time do you call this?”
I look at my watch “I don’t know Mr Wolf? Lunch time maybe?”
He grits his teeth “You’re over three hours late!”
“So?
He wants to yell, possibly draw his gun but he keeps most of his rage internal though his face is bordering crimson. He signs a piece of paper and thrusts it at me. “You are now on your first official warning. I checked and it may not be much but it’s a process to finally getting your lazy keister out of my department.”
I look at the official document, scrumple it into a ball and put it in my pocket “Anything else Caleb?”
“Just keep doing what you’re doing Irwin, you’ll just make my job that much easier.”
I stand up, pick the phone up off his desk and begin dialling. Caleb puts his hand on the phone. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Calling my union rep, then my lawyer and then my counsellor.” I smile broadly. “If you have a problem with that…” His hand comes off the phone “Didn’t think so.”
**
I sit in the archive room playing solitaire on the computer. I should be doing work but I honestly don’t feel like it. There’s nothing urgent needed to be checked in or out so bugger the lot of them. Some quality bludging coming up. I open up the Indigo News Online page and after the pop up ads for the new season of Demon Dog go away, it seems the Quoll made the news.
Rabid Australian Animal Hijacks Summer Dane Live!
“Oh you lying bastards!” I slap the screen in frustration. More bad press for Indigo City’s favourite marsupial…well marsupial anyways.
End part 1
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