Haunt #1

I love to hate on an issue. Actually, strike that, I love to hate on a DESERVING issue, and this issue is soooo deserving of every bit if hate that I have. I just want to smile and let my hate pour through my teeth like water through a sewer grate.

AND…

I want my money back.

I only picked this issue up because G-Man made it sound like it might not suck but it did suck in a major way.

So the story…

It's about two brothers, one a priest and the other a merc, and neither of them have any redeeming qualities what so ever. I care more about the current barometric pressure than I do about these two assholes. They are just empty constructs filled with equal parts "Cool shit" so that they might appear like bad asses.

Such as:

Watch out because here comes Mr. Smoking-Cussing-Jaded-Priest-Guy and his brother Mr. Badass-Kill-Crazy-Merc-With-A-Soft-Spot and how's this for an interesting twist: one brother really hates the other! Lol, isn't that original? I mean he REALLY hates the other brother. That makes for an engaging story, right?

It's exactly like that. EXACTLY.

Here's the break down for the story…

The merc brother, Kurt, has just returned from a mission that went sour. He's killed by a group who believe he's still in possession of a notebook from the mission. This notebook had belonged to a scientist who Kurt had killed intentionally over some moral qualm he developed out of nowhere. The notebook doesn't contain hot pictures of Velma from Scooby Doo so I have no clue why anyone would want it.

So anyway Kurt's dead and he visits his brother and asks him to go look after his wife believing that those who killed him would go after her because she might have information on the whereabouts of the notebook. True to form guys-in-black-suits show up to shoot stuff and Kurt's spirit jumps into his brother, causing this Ectoplasmic(that's my name!) stuff to come out of his body and form a suit which he then uses to kill people.

So… If you've seen the cover and thought it looked like Spider-man, that's because it kind of is. It's basically a symbiote rip-off. It's Venom with a new super power called SUCK. He has a dumb little spiral on his chest, he's monochrome, and completely without an original thought.

And that's how the issue ends.

So do you want my advice? Avoid this like the plague! Trick R' Treat came out yesterday and seeing that would be money spent better!