G.E.D interview with Luna Hawk (IC Closed RP)

Everything was as usual. James Merrarn sat across from who he would speak too while wearing his usual suit, various kinds of drinks under a table with a cup for each of them, cameramen and microphones were ready, and James had studied his notes even though he kept them in his coat.

"As I always ask first, what shall I call you during this interview?" He asked.

Even though on the outside he kept a completely factual presence he had quite different feelings.

This is going to be one of my most uncomfortable discussions yet. Having to discuss things with the kind of person that disgusts me morally. Porn stars, whatever they call them today. It's vulgar and wrong. Hero or not. I'd say witch if that term hadn't been changed as well too mean just a female magic wielder. Sometimes I wish things could be simple. It would all be better that way. Alas, that can't happen.

@lunahawk

@admirallogic:

Luna Hawk settled into her chair and smiled warmly. "Luna Hawk is fine or Luna. I prefer to keep my actual name for people that I know well." She unzipped her jacket a little since it was warm in the studio, there was a similar shirt beneath it. "Thanks for inviting me here,I don't often get a chance to speak to the public in any capacity."

@lunahawk:

"Very well. Luna Hawk then." He said, "Now, to the point, let's start with what precisely is a Hawk Lord? I understand it is said they reincarnate after each death and they are meant to be guardians. But what, if anything, actually prevents one from turning bad? Or trying to do good through the wrong means."

This shouldn't be too hard to start with. A simple question, though possibly a complicated answer.

@admirallogic:

I smile and listen while he talks. I know his interview style from watching previous efforts but I don't mind. "Hawk Lords are the warrior servants of Amun-Ra. We were made to protect the people of Egypt and we do indeed reincarnate but only when needed again. As for corruption, its against our nature, our very blood is partially devine...we wouldn't survive the process."

@lunahawk:

"So you'd die? Hmm." James said, "What exactly does it prevent and would it mean you could no longer reincarnate? Corruption comes in many forms, not always just what is popularly believed to be good by less violent people. Also, what is it exactly, that makes you believe Amun-Ra really is one of the good-guys? There have been plenty who have decieved people and who have impressive power."

@admirallogic:

This guy asks a lot of questions at once, he'll never get an interview with Shaeyra. "It wouldn't prevent reincarnation no." I tell him. "I have fought for and even died for Amun Ra, I have been his servant for five thousand years...I know he's good because I have seen it with my own eyes."

@lunahawk:

"Evil men have done good things. And many believe what they are doing is good. Sometimes it takes a fresh mind to find truth. Especially when that mind couldn't be hindered by any emotional attachment." He replied factually, "And death is only the end of this life. You were made to protect the people of egypt as you say. But some men are born to protect, to be guardians. A gillie is meant to guard the forests, but they can kill those who enter it. And I speak, not of the humans, but the ghillies as a creature."

'This one has pride. Well, I knew that when I learned of her being part of porn. But this is more confirmation of it. The world is a strange place indeed, that I should sit around conversing with someone I see as one of the biggest victims of sexual sin that seems good now too the public.'

@admirallogic:

I grin, his comparison is interesting, wrong but interesting. "We don't kill people for entering Egypt I assure you. I only kill those who have committed crimes against their fellow man, crimes deserving of capitol punishment. If you look at my record that will be obvious. Listen its OK if you don't believe Amun-Ra is good, most people no longer believe he exists at all. I know otherwise because I have seen it with my own eyes."

@lunahawk:

"I never said that was a reason you would ever use to kill someone. I said that ghillies have, mainly adults for that matter. I was pointing out that a guardian can be a protector of something good but also do things bad." James explained.

'She's a lot like Gale xanders in her speech. Different, but still alike in some ways. Perhaps that's what comes when someone justifies sin but also tries to do good.'

"You may not understand the importance of whether or not Amun-Ra is good or evil. You listen to him, therefore what he is also effects what you are. Do you get what I mean?"

'It's so difficult to talk to people sometimes, this is why sometimes I wish I really could prove I don't use logic from one side alone.'

@admirallogic:

"I get what you mean." I tell him with a little shrug. "Perhaps its a religious difference. Your religion and mine are two very different things. I know Amun-Ra is good because that is his role in the Egyptian pantheon. He represents law and order as well as goodness."

I smile a little and look at him for a moment. "What deity do you worship, if any?"

@lunahawk:

He took a deep breath, "I believe in God, the Father Almight creator of Heaven and Earth. And in Jesus Christ his only son Our Lord. Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgen Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell and on the third day he rose again from the dead, he ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the ressurection of the body, and life everlasting." He ended and took a swallow from them mixes of juice he'd collected in his cup before it started.

"I am a Catholic." He simplified, "I worship the Holy Trinity. The God."

"It was predicted one day it would be hard for even the most faithful to keep it. If we aren't there already we're close." He leaned back, "I've found that discussing it with someone gets both of us nowhere."

I expected that would happen eventually. It was bound to.

"Next question. What were you thinking during Greece? What made you choose the side that you did?" He asked.

@admirallogic:

Ah he's Catholic. Heh, I've known more than a few in my life times, I spent several life times in and around Italy, two during the Roman Empire in fact. "Nothing wrong with Catholics." I tell him. I mean sure they think Amun-Ra is either a magical fairy tale or some none deity being that claims to be one...but I wasn't made to convince people to worship Amun-Ra. "Ah...Greece." I say with a small sigh. "As I said before, Amun-Ra is as much a god of Law and Order as anything else. Greece is in political and economic turmoil. When he saw the opportunity to stabilize a country not far from our own borders, he chose to take it and ordered me into Greece. Since I was uncertain of the cause I stuck strictly to non-lethal versions of my usual weaponry This is where he and I disagree, I wasn't certain of it going and then our allies started doing some unusual things and aligning with entities of let's say...dubious nature. When I saw where it was going and how I left.I spent the next forty eight days alone with my thoughts. Sometimes we Hawk Lords take these moments of self exile to collect ourselves. ."

I smirk a little and run my fingers through some my dreadlocks. "I think I still have sand in my hair."

@lunahawk:

'That's what happens when you trust someone who was wrong.'

"Did that not make you question his judgment?" James asked,

"You chose the wrong side under his command."

'The ignorance of these I have to discuss with is so high. It is very unfortunate. And then there's that problem of that porn! Can't be corrupt indeed not!'

@admirallogic:

This guy is really fascinating to talk to. He certainly seems convinced that I can do no right. Oh well. I smile, no reason to be unfriendly. "It made me argue with him certainly. I pointed out to him that the modern world just doesn't work the way he's used to. You have to understand at the height of his power the world wasn't full of ideas like freedom and democracy and generally speaking people were happy mostly to be safe and have order. Amun-Ra sees chaos all around and inside of Egypt and wishes to bring it to an end, he just misunderstood how people in Greece and around the world would react. That's one of the reasons he brought back Sentinel Hawk, he wants more Hawk Lords from the modern age that understand what it is to be a modern person. Each time we reincarnate we go through an entire life, you grow up as a child of mortal parents and don't gain your full powers and memories until around the age of sixteen. Solar Hawk is from the same era he is."

@lunahawk:

"I'd agree with him on that part. Chaos has covered the world. To be honest, I prefer hierarchy. America is corrupt now. I know plenty will disagree with me on that but I really don't care." James replied, "He chose the oppressor and said it would create order. He should have thought it through, but he didn't. He was chaotic. Freedom is a lot different than they think. All of is are a servent to something, sin, a king, a demon, God, whatever it may be."

Inhaling and exhaling slowly he continued, "Everyone can do right wrongly and wrong somewhat honorably. That's not a certainty for all but it is a possibility. You have done wrong honorably, at Greece. From what I learned you tried to avoid deadly force, not that it would have helped overall, but it showed a certain character. Of course it could also be one elaborate setup but I don't have a lot to support that theory."

James stared at his cup flicking a finger against it and watching each ripple.

"Everything has an effect." He finally said looking up with an empty expression, "The relationship you're in for instance. I don't care too know much about it but it is important, I am correct that both you and Solar Hawk have the same...boyfriend? I suppose that's a correct word."

'Disgusting! The only thing that makes this any better is the exact circumstances. But there is still the matter of that other thing. I'll have to get to that.' His eyes remained empty of thought even though his thoughts were constantly going.

@admirallogic:

I let him talk for awhile and make his points. I could argue with him all day but he seems insistent on it. I don't really mind, people are entitled to their beliefs. I watch him and listen a little but don't make a comment until he gets to his next subject. I smile then, warm and fun memories coming to the fore.

"Yeah, we do." I grin. "That's been our agreement since she came here, since we're essentially the same person just at different points in our lives, we choose to share relationships to prevent any jealousy issues from arising. So far it's worked wonderfully and really, he's a great guy. He's really good for Solar Hawk."

@lunahawk:

"Not exactly what I meant." He said, "Do you think there's any chance someone could use it against you?"

'It's a good thing this was going to be longer than normal. This may take awhile. Clearly she feels emotion for people. But would she risk someone for him. Or would it block her thoughts from risking him.'

@admirallogic:

Oh yes, that will be the day, when someone uses DARK VENGEANCE against me. Of course, it's not his fault he doesn't know who Alexander Rook is at night.

"Oh...I suppose someone could try. I know his political opponents have brought it up quite a few times but to no real avail. Opponents of mine or Solar Hawk could try but they'd find messing with a Hawk Lord a bit more difficult than all of that."

@lunahawk:

James just looked at her for a moment, "You do know you're not the most powerful person out there right? I could probably strategize a way, not that I personally could enact it. Tyrus, say she planned it, she's supposed to be smart. But it was enacted by, let's say, thee champion, Xae, and Tyrus. This is theoretical of course and I'm saying an equivelent. The point is what would your emotions do? If someone found a way to beat you and threaten his life? You may come back but I don't think he will. I came up with a theory on that kind of situation a long time ago but some people find it heartless."

'So sure it wouldn't happen. Such pride. It would be a surprise she didn't learn to get rid of that after so long. Although I guess time moves differently for her. Come to think of it if I had enough time and resources, and nobody knew, I could probably stage something. I have no doubt explosives would be involved. Trap him out in the open. They try anything he goes boom. Set it up in an incoming pattern so there's no running from it. And a net from above to prevent a flyer from getting in. What the heck are you doing?! Staging how you would make a hostage situation? Really? Ridiculous. Actually it's a good mind teaser. Maybe I should continue.'

@admirallogic:

I narrow my eyes at his first question. Such a ridiculous question, I know that more than most people. He's mistaking determination to succeed for arrogance. I shouldn't be angry at him, he just doesn't understand.

"You mistake confidence and determination for arrogance." I tell him quite plainly, none of the previous pleasantness in my voice. "Solar Hawk is far more powerful than I am, she simply chooses to keep that power in her back pocket. She's also the one who loves him...because she's still capable of romantic love in this life time. I already lost my chance until life 83. I assure you that the scenario you mention is neither insurmountable nor impossible to defend against...especially for a White Lantern. We have both faced off against gods in the past and both of us would do it again. If something did happen? If someone did hurt or kill him? The fires of Pompeii would look cold in comparison. Neither of us would stop until every individual responsible was dead or dying at our feet and I promise you, we are not as arrogant nor as simple minded as you might think."

I collect myself for a moment, shaking my head. "If you think for a moment that we don't understand loss or how fragile life is, you do not understand us very well at all. I have lost more loved ones in 82 life times than I care to recount. The order is supposed to be I die, then they die later on...but it's happened before that they die first, sometimes because people have used a loved one to get to me. The emotional pain that comes to a Hawk Lord when they must bury a loved one is indescribable because not only do we lose the loved one, we lose the ability to feel romantic love until we die and reincarnate again. Life...human life, is a fragile and precious thing and I understand that very, very well. I have left in my wake a lot of graves...I still visit all of them."

@lunahawk:

Finally the moment came that his eyes showed compassion and understanding. He seemed to soften somewhat but only somewhat. Still, he could barely help the question that came out of his mouth.

"Did I push too hard?" He somewhat whispered. It would have sounded like mockery had he not looked sincere.

Shaking his head he continued, "But it doesn't change the fact you just showed your effected by it. You had a clear emotional response too it of anger. Even if they did it, and he died or was hurt. Certain individuals can use your anger to their advantage. To do it just right." His eyes flashed with memory, "Unless I'm mistaken something similar happened before. Your temper is a danger to you, and many you may or may not realize. It can be manipulated, and turned against you."

Once again his eyes and face seemed to harden and then become empty, "Anger his a lot like fuel for a fire. But the wrong kind of fuel. It is an explosion that destroys the fire faster. Yes, it looks amazing along the way. But once it's over you realize, or should, your mistake. You burned up all the warmth you could get, the source of protection from wild animals, to decontaminate things, light."

He looked her directly in the eyes, "Tell me truthfully, do you think no one could ever possibly use your emotions against you again. No need to lie for the camera, the kind of people who would do it already know or would find out anyway."

@admirallogic:

He thinks he pushed too hard...he didn't, at least, not until that last bit. I don't get angry though, thinking about The Monitor never makes me angry, it hurts. It's the one pain my body can't get rid of. Solar Hawk, Sentinel Hawk, Alexander Rook, they all make things better for me but the pain is always there, always hiding around the corner somewhere. Its visible on my face, I know it is, but I can't prevent that either, just like I couldn't save The Monitor.

"Only the emotionless have no potential to be affected by their emotion. If you want your heroes to be emotionless I think you'll find that very few of them are. We're people, people have and react to emotions. He did too, people always acted like he didn't but I knew better. Find a different topic." I say the last before I pick up my glass of water and take a drink from it. I don't mind talking to him about just about anything...but The Monitor, the fact I feel emotions like anyone else...I think it's best at this point to leave those off the table. "We can talk about the relationship more if you want, but not about emotional manipulation."

@lunahawk:

'I think maybe I did, just a bit. Funny thing, emotions. They are useful and yet they so often obstruct truth and justice. Sometimes losing emotions would be nice. But I suppose choosing to not judge by them will have to do.'

James raised an eyebrow before lowering it to continue.

"Very well. The next question was something I'd rather not talk about, but it's my job. I understand you have been engaged in porn before and are currently still in nude magazines and such, that is correct I think? First, can I ask why? What purpose does it serve?"

'And now we reach the part I've always felt uncomfortable with.'

@admirallogic:

Oh this should be interesting.

"Well I'm certainly not active in anything hardcore anymore, not while I'm not single." I inform him carefully. "As for the images? well...a lot of reasons really. I do it partially because I just enjoy it. I also do it because none of my photos are edited, airbrushed or photoshoped and I think it's important that people, both developing girls and boys, see what a real person looks like. The media is abundantly obsessed with physical image, the perfect body...which we all know is a joke. You know girls are really worried about thigh gaps now? You have girls as young as thirteen who hate themselves because they don't have a gap between their thighs when they lay down, it's ludicrous, dangerous and absurd. You probably aren't aware but I receive letters from teenagers all the time, both male and female. Some of them are your typical hormone riddled writing but a lot of them are people with real concerns. They ask me how I can be so brave."

I shake my head and sigh. "Not because of anything I do to save people...but because I have my picture taken without clothes on or with clothes on but in certain poses and I don't let them edit the image. They think it's brave to show yourself for who and what you are. That's sick, it's wrong. Society has come to a point where teenagers of both genders are so worried about physical appearance that having your image taken and put out in public without editing is now considered an act of amazing bravery. What I started doing because I enjoyed it has become something more to me. I'm here to show them they shouldn't be afraid of themselves, everyone's body is unique and has its own beauty and it shouldn't be covered up or hidden away by careful photo editing or shy pictures."I suspect he didn't expect this kind of answer, let alone this much passion on the subject. "I meet with girls and boys all the time who share their concerns with me, I listen and talk to them because other people won't or they're afraid to tell other people how they feel. Sometimes...I'm a little late."

I glance down for a moment, the words written on a tear stained page returning to my mind. "I received a letter a few nights ago from a girl I'd talked to on several occasions. She told me she loved what I'd done for her, that she tried very hard to be herself and to not worry...but the bullying about her body, her lack of thigh gap of all things, had become too much. The letter had been so heavily stained with tears that it had warped and wrinkled the pages. She ended the letter with a thank you, an apology...and a goodbye. I went to the address on the paper as soon as I got it but I was too late, she'd already taken her own life. I spoke to her parents for almost four hours." I sigh and take another drink of water. "Body self image is so important now...and I think it's equally important that there is someone prominent out there who's not afraid to show who she really is and what she really looks like with nothing held back. I think it's important that the boys and girls who read teen magazine and some of the less adult oriented magazines I'm in realize that maybe it's ok to not look 'perfect' because while most would call me beautiful, I fail a lot of those measures too."

@lunahawk:

He cocked his head at the reply. He'd heard of similar ones before. One did when they went looking for it. Of course it also ranged from "It's natural" to "Because God hates it."

"There are so many other ways of doing it. For me, and a lot of people I've met like friends and family, we never did the photo editing. We did some of the most ridiculous looking things and posted them on whatever media we had just because someone might find it funny. We expressed ourselves plenty, but we also restrained ourselves. Going nude on a photo and expressing oneself are two entirely different things. A stripper gets nude, but doesn't necessarily express themselves. I understand your logic behind it, but I also disagree. If I were to stand nude on a photo without editing then I wouldn't be expressing myself. I'd just be going nude on a photo without editing. I know, in this corrupted age, people find perfection in flesh something they must achieve. It's because they're lacking something. They're unorginized, without purpose. Or they feel that way. I never did because I was always a Catholic. I didn't care that my back was screwy so I couldn't match the other kids at certain physical things. I tried to, but that was to reach my potential. I pushed myself only for the push itself. To hurt myself. If anyone thinks the flesh is something that needs to be perfect, they should find a purpose. You say she killed herself, this may sound harsh but I blame who brought her up. They did it without a purpose, they allowed her to believe the flesh was something that needed to be perfect."

He shook his head and rubbied his left hand through it before fixing his hair.

"The world is in a state of chaotic, whatever I want, I must be perfect, state. They forget history. I don't compromise on being a Catholic. But people need a purpose. And until the public finds one all you're doing is encouraging sex for some of them. You say you get plenty of letters about how wonderful you are because you don't care what people think. But everyone forgets, to a sexual nature, you're still attractive. And so it brings on those people who fantasize doing exactly that kind of thing with you. Not because you don't care what people think about you not being perfect, but because they are sexually attracted to you. They want you, you're not an inspiration to all of them, they want *you* as in as a sexual object."

He stopped to let it sink in. It had taken some time to get it all out. It always did in discussions like this. So many thoughts that still didn't get to come out as well.

@admirallogic:

I smile a little and even nod when talks about sexual objects.He likes to lecture people a little but that's just his morality coming through. Different religions and all that. "I get letters about that too. Letters from parents usually, letters from people like you asking me why I would do such a thing. I have the same answer for most all of them...of course people fantasize about me, it's normal and natural to feel sexual impulses towards someone you find attractive. Trust me, I've been around for quite awhile and it really doesn't matter if you put yourself out there on posters or not. These teenagers and even full grown men and women see an attractive person out there in the media spotlight doing things they mostly just wish they could do and they develop fantasies. It happens all the time with people in the media spotlight. You act like because I'm in magazines or on the internet that it's somehow different but it happens daily, it can happen to someone walking down the street."

I shrug a little."After 82 lives I've really stopped being concerned about this sort of thing. I've learned there are much worse things in the world and much more to be concerned about than how many clothes someone is wearing. I'm also not going to pretend I haven't had fantasies of my own. Like I said, it's perfectly natural, it's human, mutant and even Hawk Lord nature. Any sexual being will find someone attractive and view them in that way. That includes people who share your morality, they just don't talk about it or try not to admit to it. I respond to those letters too by the way, I usually tell the people fantasizing about me they will find someone to share a healthy relationship with. I remind them that it's ok to have these sorts of feelings as long as they don't allow them to take over their lives."

@lunahawk:

'Hmm, sometimes I wish I really was some kind of telepath so I could get the point across. Talking always seems to not work as well'

"But you encourage it. By revealing yourself to these people in exactly that way. In fact, they don't even all have to fantasize it because of exactly what it is you do." James said,

"You have been around for awhile, yes. But to try to use experience alone isn't enough. That's been something I've had to cope with my entire life. I correct someone if I think they're wrong no matter who's side their on, or if they're older than me. And then a lot of the time I get the experience and age thing told to me. People don't seem to understand that by not restricting themselves they lose so much. In things like this, watching it or fantasizing, they don't actually get any more out of it than some of the effects of drugs. They lose will power, they get addicted, then watching it isn't enough anymore. They want to do it themselves. And if they find out no one is willing. And they keep watching the pornography. Then they can't stop it anymore. It's like trying to stop yourself from eating. You become so hungry you lose the will to stop yourself. Then out they go into the world, perhaps to do something to themselves first or to commit suicide. And, if they're alive, they want someone to do it to. Whether the person is willing or not."

"I don't trust experience alone. I trust logic, it's the one thing discussing that anyone can use. You say people like me have fantasies, but you forgot just how strong a person can be to refuse it in the first place. I feel the temptation, a lot in fact, it's always been something I've had to fight. Second on my temptations. But eventually, with Our Lady and My Guardian angels help and the one who created them, I managed. But I know if ever I actually watched just one thing of porn or read sonething similar of my own free will. Then I would start on a similar path even though I currently know much better."

@admirallogic:

(SON OF A...I just had a completely amazing post all typed up and was about to save it when the browser crashed for no reason, it wasn't even loading anything, Comic Vine simply completely crashed without reason. All my other tabs were fine, but oh no, not this really emotional awesome response I had).

@lunahawk: WHAT?! NOOO! That's horrible!