The Red Falcon....In Gotham!- My Story

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jasraj

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#1  Edited By jasraj

Boxing Promoter Scott Johnson has gone to Gotham City, to promote a Boxing Match between Jimmy Shavers and Nigel McCoy! 
 
(The Red Falcon is standing on top of a building, watching over Gotham), "This city needs help, ha, i mean seriously help, look at it, its a dump and its ran by a giant bat", *chuckle*, as The Red Falcon turns around he sees a woman in a bat like costume, "Name Yourself!", shouts the bat like woman, "Who the-" the batlike woman then opes her mouth and speaks again, "I am Cassandra Cain!" shouts the bat like woman, "erm, you just revealed your secret identity......WOW, your smart"  laughs The Red Falcon, Cassandra Cain then charges at The Red Falcon, But The Red Falcon dodges it and applies a blow to the head, "ARGH!" screams Cassandra Cain, "I WILL KILL YOU", she then tries to punch The Red Falcon, but The Red Falcon blocks the punch and applies 3 VERY HARD punches, Cassandra Cain then falls to the floor, "It's always better to be Focused rather than Bloodlusted, or whatever state your in" says The Red Falcon, "God whats wrong with city, i prefer New York", as The Red Falcon turns around a bat like man is standing there, "Not Again"..........                TO BE CONTINUED 
 
please tell me what you think, i didnt try with the punctuation, but do you want me to carry on with this story?
 
so please tell me what you think  
 
by the way i will be doing a part 2

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jasraj

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#2  Edited By jasraj

Someone?

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SteveRodgers

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#3  Edited By SteveRodgers

I like this story. very interested to see a part 2

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#4  Edited By brc2000

Some grammar problems, spelling issues and weird dialogue, but it's a decent start. Cassandra Cain  shouting her name also seems very uncharacteristic.

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jasraj

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#5  Edited By jasraj
@brc2000 said:
"Some grammar problems, spelling issues and weird dialogue, but it's a decent start. Cassandra Cain  shouting her name also seems very uncharacteristic. "

I already said i wasnt trying on the grammar and spelling, and i will reveal why she was crazy in part 2
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jasraj

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#6  Edited By jasraj

any1 else?

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SteveRodgers

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#7  Edited By SteveRodgers

I like the name Scott Johnson, and Red Falcon. Do you have any villains lined up for your hero?

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jasraj

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#8  Edited By jasraj
@SteveRodgers said:
"I like the name Scott Johnson, and Red Falcon. Do you have any villains lined up for your hero? "

I have one called Dr J, but i dont know what to make him, a gangster or a crazy scientist, i want to choose one of the two, but i am not sure, i also might have a sidekick too
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#9  Edited By SteveRodgers

(just a friendly suggestion) Red Falcon seems like a beat up a crazy scientist kind of guy. also a side kick would be cool. it worked for Batman and Captain America.

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jasraj

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#10  Edited By jasraj
@SteveRodgers said:
"(just a friendly suggestion) Red Falcon seems like a beat up a crazy scientist kind of guy. also a side kick would be cool. it worked for Batman and Captain America. "

You mean Dr J?, Red Falcon is the hero, 
 
I have an idea of a sidekick, so far he will be called Kid Falcon, and is 13 years old