 |
| "My name is Ashley Williams. And i am a slave...to my destiny. I used to have a normal, boring job. And a normal, boring life. Just like you. Used to work at S-mart. Housewares department. It was going to be the next Wal-mart. Never really took off though." He sipped the tepid drink in front of him and swallowed with a grimmest. "Gotta hand it to ya, you really know how to break a man." |
| "Sorry it's not up to your refined tastes Mr Williams." Detective Rachel Katz replied sarcastically. "But getting back to your story if you don't mind..." |
| "Sure doll. Maybe after this we get some real coffee? Or maybe we don't?" He grinned in a way that would be charming under other circumstances. Just oozing with confidence and male egotism. |
| "This is a very serious matter Mr Williams." She replied unruffled. She was used to being hit on, and had more then ample experience with idiot men. |
| "I get it, playing hard to get." He winked. "Anyway, I worked at S-mart, where I was loved and respected by customers and fellow employees alike--" |
| "This was before you shot an old woman to death?" She looked up from the file to catch his reaction. |
| "That was self-defense. She was possessed by a Deadite." He met her gaze unwavering. 'My God. He actually believes that.' |
| "Yes let's talk about these Deadites Mr Williams. |
| "I'm getting to that. So one day I take my girlfriend Linda out to this little cabin in the woods I heard about. I found an dusty book in the cellar with an old tape recorder. Thought there might be some tunes on the tape. The Book was written in some foreign mumbo jumbo, but i wasn't planning on doing any reading anyway. The tape was the recorded translations of the Book, The Necronomicon. The words from the Book awoke something evil in the woods, and that is when the supernatural sh!t hit the cosmic fan." |
| He leaned back in his chair and stretched. "Seriously, is this the best you can do as far as coffee?" |
| Detective Katz blinks. Then realizes she is leaning forward, unconsciously drawn in by his story. She steps to the wall and presses the intercom button. "Bring in a cup of coffee. From the break room, not the lobby." She turned back to him, her arms crossed. "And then?" |
| "Linda became possessed. Became a Deadite. then she tried to kill me. I wish i could have saved her" He looked away for a moment, all the smart a$$ attitude gone. "Once a person becomes a Deadite you have few options other then to kill and dismember. Then the evil tried to take me, it got in my hand and it went bad. So i cut it off before it could spread. I burned the Book and thought everything was over. But it was just beginning. The daughter of the professor who translated the Book, arrived with the missing pages and stirred everything up again. She used an incarnation from the Book that was meant to trap the Evil. Unfortunately me and my car were pulled in as well and spit me out in the middle ages. After showing those primitive screw-heads that i was an evolved, superior being, I was asked to go on a quest to retrieve the Necronomicon from a haunted graveyard. And maybe there were some magic words I was supposed to say, and maybe I didn't say every single little syllable, but I basically said the words--" |
| "Mr Williams, would you mind skipping to the events that lead to your arrest?" |
| "I'm getting to it doll, anyways, once i returned to this time i tried to resume my old life. That's when the thing with the old lady happened. No matter how far i go, or how hard i try, the Book always finds me and ruins things. That's when i realized that the Book would never leave me alone. So i stopped trying to run and began hunting..." |
| One day ago... |
| Ash rolled into town in his beat up Delta 88. He's achy from sleeping in the car and still a little queasy from a hamburger he'd eaten the day before. It had tasted fine, but his stomach had rejected the meal with extreme prejudice. In other words he was in a foul mood. Ahead of him he sees two teenagers standing on the srteet corner wasting space. The tall one wears a 'Pumpkin Dead' T-shirt and the ragged, trash heap jeans that are so popular. His friend is wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon zombie and cut off shorts. |
| Ask rolled down his window. "Excuse me, I'm looking for--" |
| "The old age home?" The tall one asks and high-fived his friend. |
| "Now that is funny. Ha Ha. Now listen, i'm late to the--" |
| "Mortuary?" The tall one interrupts. Another high-five |
| "Ya know, if i wasn't so busy i'd teach you punks a lesson." |
| "A history lesson?" The short one asks. They high-five again and disappear around the corner. |
| "Damn punks need to learn some respect." Ash grumbled, sounding old to his own ears. He checked himself in the mirror and sees circles under his eyes, Two days beard growth, and the first touches of grey in his hair. "It's not the years, it's the miles" He tells himself. "Now it shouldn't be too hard to find a university in this town, i'll just look for the biggest barn." |
| He resumes driving and does not notice his reflection starring at him with a sneer. |
Horror Inc: Army of Darkness
BUMP!
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