NEWS FLASH!
Hey, this is Friday and Homer and... some drunk hobo who just walked in off the street asking for a guy named Miranda Tatsuffskinzagott.... wonder what that's about... Anyways, the two... well, three of us, I guess, are here to tell you that the 2 current story arcs... have been cancelled. I mean, it's time to move onto other projects. Deal with it, all you can do is file a complaint.
NEW GIRL
Friday and Saturday were eating lunch at McPilgrim's, when Friday noticed the new girl eating lunch by herself.
"Who's she?" asked Friday.
"That's Mary." said Saturday. "She just moved here from Kansas I think... he's my new co-worker."
"Well she sure isn't in Kansas anymore..." said Friday.
"Well she sure IS out of your league." said Saturday.
"Why?" asked Friday. "You don't know, would could have a lot in common."
"Her Dad's rich, she has a college degree, she didn't drop out of college, her Dad wasn't supposedly eaten alive by a Sasquatch, she has a college degree, she has a college degree...." said Saturday.
"So?" said Friday. "I'll just buy one of those fake degrees from Tsheepo. No big deal."
"Tsheepo made those degrees out of gas station toilet paper!" said Saturday.
"I'm sure she likes toilet paper." said Friday.
The next day, Friday got glasses and a lab coat to look really smart.
"Greetings, fellow graduate." said Friday to a guy outside the place where Saturday works. "Would you happen to a Mary... somethin'...."
"Mary Sumthinn?" asked the guy.
"No... I think her name's... Mary.... Christmas?" said Friday.
"Mary Krissmiss?" asked the guy. "That's my wife's name!"
"In that case, I think it's.... Mary... um..." started Friday. "Well, she's got to have a last name, that's for sure..."
"I'm out of here..." said Mr. Krissmiss, walking away.
"I'll find her..." said Friday, entering the building.
The first person Friday ran into was Saturday.
"Friday?" asked Saturday. "Why are you dressed like.... Dr. Frankenstein?"
"No, it's Dr. Friday!" said Fr---um, Dr. Friday.
"What do you got a PHD in?" asked Saturday.
"Is that really any of your business!" said Friday, punching Saturday. "People these days are so rude and nosy..."
"Ow... my jaw!" moaned Saturday. "Listen, Mary isn't here today. She's sick."
"Then she needs a doctor!" said Friday, rushing out the door.
"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES!!!" yelled Saturday.
Out in the streets, Friday was running all around town, but couldn't find her.
After a few hours of looking, Friday just got bored and started doing the invisible horse dance all around town.
"OPPA GANGNAM STYLE, BABY!" Friday sang as he danced around town.
Finally, Friday danced right past Mary.
"HEEEY, S----wait, who did I just pass?" he said, finally realizing who he saw.
Friday saw Mary crossing the street and ran after her.
"WAIT UP!" he yelled.
He finally caught up with her.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm... Gangnam... smart..... Saturday..... cousin.. dance... hold on, I need to catch my breath, as soon as I started to cross the street the cars started zooming by...." said Friday.
"Uh...." started Mary.
"Aren't you supposed to be sick?" Friday asked.
"Yeah.... I only called in sick." admitted Mary. "Some days I just don't feel like showing up for work."
"I used to do that all the time!" said Friday. "Until I got fired, of course..."
"Heh, yeah..." said Mary. "I'm totally gonna get fired. Well, nice meeting you."
Mary started to walk away.
"Yeah, see ya." said Friday.
Suddenly, Friday realized something.
"I didn't ask her out or anything.." gasped Friday. "WAIT!"
Friday ran after her, but it was too late. He lost her.
"WHY???!!!???!!!" yelled Friday. "I may have just missed my chance with my one true love!"
Just then, Tiffany, Saturday's newest co-worker, walked by.
"Hello there..." started Friday.
THA END!
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