Evil Ernie Fan-fics

This thread is hereby dedicated to Evil Ernie fan-fiction! 
Let me begin the fantasy with a little something of my own. 
It's a normal morning for me. The sun is creeping over the edge of the horizon as I make my way to school, the radio talk show host babble about something I don't care about, and the dead guy in front of my car is sent bouncing as I run into him and his bones shatter from decay. Wait....that doesn't sound right..... 
I get to school and notice that a few more police cars than usual are here today. Probably I drug bust, doesn't matter. I go to my first hour class and am waiting for the teacher to come in and take attendance when I hear two people off to the side. They are discussing zombies, but in a worried manner: "Yeah man, you can only kill them by destroying the brain! Just like in the movies!" 
I move to turn around when suddenly, my teacher burst through the door. "EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR NOW!" 
I scramble to the ground, as do 30 of my classmates. I peak my head up just in time to see a red blur come flying down through the window and crash through the war and out another window. I stand up to find a greenish glow by the window. Naturally curious, I go investigate. My fellow students are all slowly rising when the teacher rushes past me and says "Go take a seat now! Go Jam---" 
Her words are cutoff by a fleshless claw that just pierced her face from behind her. I look past the gaping corpse and see the Evil One smiling at me. He raises his other hand, presumably to cut me in half, but before he can strike me down, a chain wraps around his midsection and he is jerked out through the gaping hole in the wall. I hear cries of "We got him! We got him!" from the jeep attached to the other end of the chain.  
I laugh and take a seat, having seen Ernie grab the chain and start pulling himself towards the jeep....