Diana Lake: Powerful Hybrid. Part 1.

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L_Lyel

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Edited By L_Lyel

Eons ago when the earth was young but barren with life, God created two people: Gabriel and Rainn. He grew very fond of his children and decided to grant them powers, Angelic... powers. They became the most power beings to ever exist, besides the Lord himself of course. Many years went past as the couple fell madly in love and soon bared a child. This child they named Diana. Due to her intelligence she was reading and hunting at the age of 5 and at the age of 10 was learning to use magik, however not very well. It took her more then several years to become the expert she was destined to be.

However due to her being so powerful and experienced, something merged within her. Something powerful and evil. Chamera.~ End of backstory.

The female would walk along a brick road, until she came across a black and gothic mansion. She could tell there was no one in there, no potential threats that is. With blurring speed she entered the house and scanned it with her emerald eyes. However she was wrong. A fire demon laid in hiding, waiting for her and the right moment to strike. The female was suddenly pinned to the ground with a flameful fist in her face. 'Foolish girl. You should have known not to go into a house, Espically alone.'

She'd yawn and press her feet to his chest, pushing him off and away from her. "Hmph. Guess you dont know what im capable of. Oh and by the way.... Just like every other good burn, it needs water." A blue sphere forms in her hand as she speaks to him, and then propels it towards him, drenching him, causing the flames to die down.

'Oh... that is cruel. And cold.' He would shiver and leap towards her, with his claws ready to strike. She would grin and side step out of the way, kicking his back with her foot. As soon as he landed, and with a grunt. She would press her heel to his throat, pressing down. "Now. Why is a hell scum like you here?" 'Isnt it obvious? To kill you.' "Well, you failed. Big time. Tell your superior, Diana Lake says hi." She would then pick him up and snap his neck.

"Males. All idiots." She would whistle a tune as she exits from the house.

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darth_brendroid

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#1  Edited By darth_brendroid

It's alright and has an interesting idea, but I think particularly nearer the end you need to split the dialogue up a bit more (may just be my own personal tastes though). I'm also not entirely sure about your constant use of 'female' instead of, say, 'woman'. It makes it sound really detached and that may have been what you were going for, but I'm not sure I got that same vibe from the rest of the piece. Otherwise it's pretty decent.