Cas and Lo Extreme Crime Solvers pt. 1

Rated-T

Haddonfield,

Illinois December 2, 2012 two men sitting in a sitting inside a van, are both

on edge. The first guy complained about the cigar smoke, from his partner. His

partner just snarled. You’re gonna give

up the element of surprise said the first man. The second guy, grrrrr yeah you’re

right Cas. Cas, are we in the right place, said the second man? Cas said” we’re

at the target, Lo”. Are you picking up anything Lo, said Cas? I got nothing

said Lo. CAS, I got a real bad feeling about this, said Lo! We need to get out

of this van as soon as possible, it will be dark soon, and the target will have

a tactical advantage, said Cas. I'm gonna gear up now, we can get out on the

other side of the van, hit the woods, and set up surveillance on the target

Lo. Lo said, I’m ready now, Cas make

sure you suit up well (Cas glares at Lo), this ain’t gonna be pretty. Cas and Lo

exit the van discretely, and disappear in the bushes across the street from the

target. Nightfall soon arrives, as both men wait anxiously for the target. What

taking so long, said Lo? Cas said I don’t

(suddenly a face appears in one of the rooms upstairs in the house, not quite in the window but

sort of faded into the darkness.) , Lo do you , I see em Cas, I’m ready, Wait Lo, something’s not right. Look through

the binoculars, Lo. That’s a dead body, just put there, and wait, I can see him

just standing there blending in the darkness. Cas he’s staring at us (The

target tilts his head slowly, and walks out of the room slowly). Lo snarls, I’m

going in, Cas says no, something is wrong here. Lo, tells Cas, I’m done waitin.

So the duo, began their militant approach toward the target, as they posted up

behind the van, Lo sniffed the air and said what the hell! Cas , behind you,

the target was behind them. Cas let off a few shots, but it was too late, the

target grabbed him, and threw him into the van so hard he was knocked

unconscious. Lo looked at the van, and the dent left by Cas’s body was so huge

he couldn’t believe it, the sliding door was caved in. The target then seemingly

out of nowhere, pulls out a large kitchen knife, and begins to stab Lo. The

target steps back, and tilts his head sideways slowly, as he stares at Lo bleeding

out. Suddenly the target steps toward Cas, and Lo says (hey bub, we ain’t done

yet). Michael Myers, huh! I’ve been waitin for this fight all week, (getting up

slowly and popping his claws out) Michael is shocked. Oh, yeah my friend over

there with the skull on his shirt ain’t gonna be happy when he wakes up, and he

will.

These are not my characters, nor do I have rights to them

comments?

@evilvegeta74 said:

Rated-T

Haddonfield,

Illinois December 2, 2012 two men sitting in a sitting inside a van, are both

on edge. The first guy complained about the cigar smoke, from his partner. His

partner just snarled. You’re gonna give

up the element of surprise said the first man. The second guy, grrrrr yeah you’re

right Cas. Cas, are we in the right place, said the second man? Cas said” we’re

at the target, Lo”. Are you picking up anything Lo, said Cas? I got nothing

said Lo. CAS, I got a real bad feeling about this, said Lo! We need to get out

of this van as soon as possible, it will be dark soon, and the target will have

a tactical advantage, said Cas. I gonna gear up now, we can get out on the

other side of the van, hit the woods, and set up surveillance on the target,

Lo. Lo said, I’m ready now, Cas make

sure you suit up well (Cas glares at Lo), this ain’t gonna be pretty. Cas and Lo

exit the van discretely, and disappear in the bushes across the street from the

target. Nightfall soon arrives, as both men wait anxiously for the target. What

taking so long, said Lo? Cas said I don’t

(suddenly a face appears in one of the rooms upstairs in the house, not quite in the window but

sort of faded into the darkness.) , Lo do you , I see em Cas, I’m ready, Wait Lo, something’s not right. Look through

the binoculars, Lo. That’s a dead body, just put there, and wait, I can see him

just standing there blending in the darkness. Cas he’s staring at us (The

target tilts his head slowly, and walks out of the room slowly). Lo snarls, I’m

going in, Cas says no, something is wrong here. Lo, tells Cas, I’m done waitin.

So the duo, began their militant approach toward the target, as they posted up

behind the van, Lo sniffed the air and said what the hell! Cas , behind you,

the target was behind them. Cas let off a few shots, but it was too late, the

target grabbed him, and threw him into the van so hard he was knocked

unconscious. Lo looked at the van, and the dent left by Cas’s body was so huge

he couldn’t believe it, the sliding door was caved in. The target then seemingly

out of nowhere, pulls out a large kitchen knife, and begins to stab Lo. The

target steps back, and tilts his head sideways slowly, as he stares at Lo bleeding

out. Suddenly the target steps toward Cas, and Lo says (hey bub, we ain’t done

yet). Michael Myers, huh! I’ve been waitin for this fight all week, (getting up

slowly and popping his claws out) Michael is shocked. Oh, yeah my friend over

there with the skull on his shirt ain’t gonna be happy when he wakes up, and he

will.

These are not my character, nor do I have rights to them

Okay it's a bit squishy, making it hard to read and sometimes I don't know who is saying what. The idea is good (reminds me a little of my own story Criminal Enterprise, just a bit) but my guess is you wrote this from an Ipad.

Rushed it!

Niiiiiiiiice!

:)

@evilvegeta74 said:

Rated-T

Haddonfield, Illinois December 2, 2012

Two men sitting inside a white van; both on edge, both trying not to annoy the other but failing miserably after hours of sitting. The driver sparked up a cigar and blew a puff of smoke, filling the cabin.

“You’re gonna give up the element of surprise” scowled the passenger winding down the window.

He stared at him before winding his window down and dropping it out “You’re right Cas” The silence became deafening before he asked “Are we in the right place?”

Cas rolled his eyes “We’re at the target, Lo”.

The pair sat in silence

“I got a real bad feeling about this!” grumbled Lo

“It’ll be dark soon” commented Cas looking in the mirrors “ Okay I'm gonna gear up now. We can get out on the other side of the van, hit the woods, and set up surveillance on the target”

“Now?”

“When it gets dark, Lo!” snipped Cas.

“So…now?”

Cas glared at him. The small drivers compartment of the van seemed even smaller.

“ I’m ready now” said Lo tapping an irregular beat on the steering wheel “Cas, make sure you suit up well!” Lo turned to catch the daggers Cas was staring at him “Jeez! Sorry!”

Cas clambered into the back to get changed as Lo continued tapping his song, adding a whistle.

That's a minor edit of the first part of your story. I took what you had and polished it. The idea is great, two guys (could be HYDRA or AIM or Hellfire Club etc) just hanging in avan before a mission. It's good, but you need to edit it. All the elements are there

Asides from being squished and badly formatted, it's okay. I'm having a hard time with the Cas & Lo versions of their names, though they would make and excellent team. And Michael Myers...it's kinda lika Marvel Scooby Doo :)

Well the names weren't gonna be revealed at all. I changed that and just said people would figure out who they are due to their abilities. Lo- for Logan and Cas as in Frank Castle isn't hard to deter. This is for pure fun, thanks for being honest.