ASPECT: The Inhumans - BOOKS

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feebadger

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#1  Edited By feebadger

Roll Call

Triton, Black Bolt, Crystal, Gorgon, Karnak, Lockjaw

In the midst of the other worldly realm of The Inhumans, we join a secret sect; a cloaked coven as they join together about a great table to discuss...secret things... and stupid things.

Crystal – Hello everyone and I’d like to welcome you all (and I’m very excited about this) to our first ever BOOK CLUB. Everyone comfortable?

Lockjaw – I’m not!

Crystal – Of course you’re not… you’re a dog! And get off the furniture.

Gorgon – Ha HA, Lassie! You got served!

Lockjaw – At least I’m house broken, donkey d@#k.

Gorgon – I… i am but as the Terrigen mists made me…

Crystal – Anyway, I hope you all brought your copies of the book I sent you.

Triton – Galactus ate mine.

Crystal – Oh, he did not! Here, I brought a spare. Now, without further ado, I would like to introduce (I am so excited about this) the first book for our book club; The Da Vinci Code.

Triton – What’s a Da Vinci?

Karnak – What’s a code?

Gorgon – What’s a book?

Crystal – ~sigghhh~ It’s what you were meant to have read before today!

Gorgon – So, it’s some kind of club is it? For smashing things? I like the sound of this ‘book’ thing.

Crystal – NOOO! A book is a beautiful thing! A collection of ideas, expressed through words. They are stories, narratives created to enthral and excite our minds. They are gifts from the gods. ~siiiighhhh~ You understand, don’t you, Black Bolt?

Black Bolt - …

Triton – So, what exactly do these books do? Are they weapons of some sort? Do they hold incantations designed to destroy worlds or evaporate oceans?

Crystal – Well… no…

Gorgon – Does it repel invaders? Summon celestial powers which allow us to travel from one plane of existence to another?

Crystal – No… but…

Karnak – You know, I once punched a tank.

(SILENCE)

Karnak – Well Ithink it’s impressive.

Crystal – Look, I know this is a bit confusing for you all, but this really is a wonderful book. It’s about a man…

Triton – YeeeeWWW! You know I don’t read that kind of filth.

Karnak – Stupid humans… can’t even punch tanks.

Crystal – It’s about this man and he investigates a murder which leads him to think…

Gorgon – You know how I feel about thinking, Crystal. I’m against it.

Crysttal – HE INVESTIGATES A MURDER which leads him to discover a conspiracy involving… wait for it… JESUS CHRIST!

(SILENCE)

Karnak – I also once punched a boat.

Triton – Who’s this Jesus guy?

Karnak – It wasn’t a very big boat, though.

Crystal – Jesus is the embodiment of a God that humans believe in.

Triton – What, like the Celestials?

Crystal – Yes, like the Celestials… with beards.

Triton – Well, that’s just RIDICULOUS! Everyone knows that Celestials don’t have beards!

Gorgon – I once met a Celestial with a beard.

Triton – Really?

Gorgon – Yeah. Lovely chap he was.

Triton – And what was his name, this Celestial?

Gorgon – Um… Doug.

Triton – Doug?

Gorgon – Yup.

Triton – Doug, the Celestial?

Gorgon – Uh huh.

Triton – And where did you meet him?

Gorgon – Down the Tavern. He was a helluva nice guy… for a Celestial, I mean. Bought me a bag of peanuts.

Triton – Aren’t Celestials a bit big to fit into your average tavern?

Gorgon – That’s what I thought, but he said he had some kind of disease. A short one. Happens a lot with Celestials, apparently.

Triton – Idiot.

Gorgon – No, he was a Celestial.

Trition – No, YOU are the idiot.

Gorgon – Oh, EVERYone knows that! It’s my super power.

Crystal – Can we PLEASE talk about this book!!?!

Karnak – Only if I can punch it first.

Crystal – NO!!! Books are for reading! For embracing and loving and letting into your heart! They enhance your lives and expand your minds.!!!

Triton – I had my mind expanded once.

Gorgon – Really? I’ve been many places but I’ve never really been to me.

Crystal – WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!? WHY DID YOU EVEN COME HERE IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE BOOK!?!?

Triton – Somebody said there’d be pie.

Gorgon – We like pie, don’t we, Black Bolt?

Black Bolt - …

Karnak – I wouldn’t even punch a pie. I like them too much.

Crystal – But… But…

Medusa – Inhumans!! Dinner Time!!

Gorgon – Oh boy! PIE!!!!!

(Thunder of Inhuman little feet into the dining room)

Crystal - ~sob… sob~ Why couldn’t I have been born a Skrull… ~splutter… sob.. snort…~

END.

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Pyrogram

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#2  Edited By Pyrogram

@feebadger: interesting, Obviously dialogue heavy. I liked it, not sure who or what it was totally about but yeah, nice one.

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BumpyBoo

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#3  Edited By BumpyBoo  Moderator

Hehehehe!! XD

Oh..oh my.. *wipes away tears* This is so wonderfully mental :) There are just no words. I haven't laughed so much at a fic since Ant Man :P

Absolutely loves it mate. Excellent work, you funny bunny you :):):)

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feebadger

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@pyrogram: Um, thanks Pyro. Don't know if you really got the intention, but thanks anyway :)

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#5  Edited By Pyrogram

@feebadger: I am at college, kinda dead with work so Yeah, That is probably why! xD

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