The trial of Zombie movies, why I love them and hate

Posted by fACEmelter88 (607 posts) - - Show Bio

  I love me some zombies in all facets of the media but there are always the cliches or problems, whatever you want to call them.  I love the classic zombie movies the original Night of the Living Dead (it was directed so well and then so unique then and groundbreaking because the lead hero was black and ppl were getting eaten) The original Dawn of the Dead was pretty good but the 2004 Zack Snyder remake (in my opinion) is superior, it (as well as 28 Days Later) helped reinvigorate zombie films. These movies finally gave us more action and suspense since the once nearly stagnate classic zombies, watching the slow zombies lumber around was scary at first but the same things kept happening in almost every movie and even as a kid I was annoyed and today all too predictable. People in these movies were so annoying and by the time i got to know the characters I'm hoping they get eaten or you can practically predict what will happen. So I submit to the comicvine court a list of zombie stuff that annoys me and should change.

 

EXHIBIT A: THE HERD OF ZOMBIES that is "unavoidable"

OK I'm pretty sure to avoid a lot of zombies you don't have to be a rocket scientist or a an NFL running back to get past or avoid these sloth like cannibals. They are only dangerous in groups and even...JUST GO AROUND, oh and how do these zombies always seem to come out of no where and sneak up on people? F&$#king ridiculous how do these lumbering (often groaning) zombies get the grace and stealth techniques to sneak up on anyone who is not deaf. But back to the fact that how do we always end up always seeing someone getting swarmed and have to watch from above as their screaming and reaching their hand up as they get pulled down or we watched as they get pulled away somehow as their innards are eviscerated. This is always what happens (even in the more modern zombie movies) these groups can be easily avoided with several easy steps: STEP 1: address the fact that there are multiple zombies in front of you then plan accordingly. STEP 2:  Decide if the zombies have seen you then choose how to proceed, SCENARIO A: if spotted and you are armed...RUN AWAY and if you are coordinated enough occasionally fire back but your goal should be to run away...these zombies are slow and bright. SCENARIO B: if you are spotted and you are unarmed...RUN AWAY but the trick is DON'T LOOK BACK these are not champion sprinters and in looking back you have a 98% chance of falling and thus being eaten. SCENARIO C: if you are not spotted...refer to A &/or B. STEP 3: SURVIVE damn-it, escape the d-bags, they're not blood hounds run, hide, assess and escape which equals survival!  
 

EXHIBIT B: SOMEONE ALWAYS GETS BIT

Someone in the group of survivors ALWAYS gets bitten or infected but 1 of 2 things usually happens a. they hide it or b. everyone knows but they think they're OK. 
VERSION A.) Someone will get bitten or slip in zombie goo and get infected but they keep it quiet....this happens all the time and usually the same thing happens the person gets all bitey and often gets a chunk of someone and a loved one tearfully kills them or something around those lines. Its so annoying how can someone in a zombie situation and especially in our society when zombies are pretty well known about since they're in all forms of media.  
VERSION B.) If a survivor is bitten and the bitten and group are aware of and know what is happening and going to happen to said bitten group member....why the hell do they let them stay, follow...THEN THEY'RE SHOCKED WHEN THEY TURN. Occasionally the person says shoot me if I turn but most of the time they all act like that person will be fine. Those that act like the infected will be fine deserve to be eaten by their friend. OK though I've never been in the situation I assume it's hard to kill your friend (or another human) but come on, knowing he or she will get all, "uuuuuuurgh.......aaaaahhhr.......brains," I would put them out of their misery, I know if was infected I'd ask to be killed so I wouldn't hurt my friends.  RARE VERSION) Rarely we get the smart, brave and realistic act in which the infected person stays behind to fight/sacrifice their self.
 
EXHIBIT C: WHY DOES NO ONE REALIZE ZOMBIES ARE AFOOT?

Whenever a zombie or zombies 1stshow up no one realizes that’s what’s up…they always seem to approach the infected and asking if they’re ok or something along this line. With the vast majority of zombie media you would think in movies the characters would realize that’s what is going on, but we are forced to watch the oh so familiar encounter which turns into a bite, a chase or a feeding frenzy. This is so stupid it’s just annoying like in slasher films when a person says “hello” when they think they’re not alone or something….are they expecting the burglars or killers to say hi or something, SO ANNOYING but it happens all the time. With all the zombie movies you would think movie makers would just quit doing this but I doubt it will come to an end. 

EXHIBIT D: HEADSHOTS…HEADSHOTS…HEADSHOTS

It’s understandable not taking time and aiming if ur being chased by zombies or something but u see ppl emptying clips into single zombies when 1 shot to the dome would suffice. This kills me, and pretty often the person shooting, while watching the Walking Dead, which is an amazing show u should be watching, u usually only see them pulling of headshots even during be scuffles or swarms. This is something I wish would be seen more often but I’m pretty sure bullet wasting is something we will always have tolerate. Just watch how many ppl just randomly shoot at zombies surrounding survivors…so annoying……….so very annoying.

Anything else u can think of? Let me kno what u think and if I missed anything.  

 
#1 Posted by Chaos Prime (10842 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice write up :-) agree on most of wot u have written apart from a big, big no,no imo....
Classic Dawn of the Dead is such an iconic film imo that the re-make even though i do own a copy on DVD does it not justice..
Its probably my most watched Classic Horror film after The Omen...

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