I'm weird and really like Ultimate X-Men, but Astonishing X-Men is a must for new X-Men readers. I would personally recommend reading Grant Morrison's New X-Men before Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men, but it's not necessary.
As for Ultimate X-Men, as I said before, I really like it, but it's not really required reading for X-Men. It's really good for the first 65 issues, and I feel like it's pretty underrated. Definitely check it out sometime. I was hesitant about reading it, but it's now one of my favorite X-Men comics.
As for the current X-Men titles, only read the firs 15 issues of All-New X-Men. After that, drop it. But make sure you read the current Uncanny X-Men. It's really good so far.
I would also recommend reading Jason Aaron's Wolverine and the X-Men. It's a little inconsistent, but it's a fun title that gets you acquainted with the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. Also make sure you're familiar with the events of Schism and Avengers vs. X-Men. Don't read them--just make sure you're familiar with what happened. Comicbookgirl19 has a video on YouTube that recaps the events of Avengers vs. X-Men pretty well, so you might want to check that out.
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