I plan to jump onto one or more of the books coming out of the schism event and would really like to get a grasp of the recent goings on in the x-men books. I read House of M but have little knowledge thereafter of the merry mutants so a little guidance would be appreciated.  
 
What trades would you suggest I read to catch up? 
An essentials list is really what I'm looking for covering the main story lines of the main title, while I'm sure many of the spin off xmen titles are good due to time and money I doubt I could get through them all so while I would like a comprehensive an understanding as possible please do not just post the full reading order of every book.

I'm going through the same thing at the moment, starting at House of M and Moving forward. I'm not sure this is the best list, but this is my approach.
House of M 
Decimation 198
Civil War (Maybe Civil War X-Men)
Endangered Species 
Messiah Complex
X-Force 1-3
Messiah War
Utopia
Nation X 
Necrosha
Second Coming
Second Coming Revelations
Birth of Generation Hope
 
That's My list (what's in bold is what I consider essential), and I'm already following Schism and Generation Hope.
 Hope that helps.

Just posted this list else where on the forums and it's basically an expanded list based on Goodnight_MoonKnight's list and lists all the trades out there in a rough chronological order. Say goodbye money, hello debt..... 
 
 
House of M 
Decimation: X-Men - The Morning After 
Decimation: Son of M  
Decimation: The 198 
X-Men: Deadly Genesis 
Uncanny X-Men: Rise and Fall  of the Shi'ar Empire  
Civil War: X-Men 
Civil War: Wolverine
X-Men: Supernovas 
X-Men: Blinded By the Light 
X-Men: Endangered Species  
X-Men: Messiah Complex 
Wolverine: Get Mystique 
Uncanny X-Men: Divided We Stand 
X-Men Legacy: Divided He Stands 
X-Men Legacy: Sins of the Father 
X-Men: Original Sin 
X-Men Legacy: Salvage 
X-Force: Angels & Demons 
X-Force: Old Ghosts 
X-Force / Cable: Messiah War 
X-Force: Not Forgotten 
Cable: Messiah War 
Cable: Waiting for the End of the World 
Cable: Homecoming 
Uncanny X-Men: Manifest Destiny 
Uncanny X-Men: Lovelorn 
Uncanny X-Men: Sisterhood  
Secret Invasion: X-Men
Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia 
Uncanny X-Men: Utopia 
X-Men: Necrosha 
X-Men: Second Coming 
X-Men: Second Coming - Revelations 
Uncanny X-Men: The Birth of Generation Hope 
Uncanny X-Men: Quarantine 
Uncanny X-Men: Breaking Point 
Generation Hope: The Future is a Four Letter Word   
 
Again, stuff in bold is what I consider essential. Differs slightly from Goodnight_MoonKnight's list, but thats down to my personal taste and not a critique on anything! (basically think you could skip Necrosha and not miss out on anything other that a bland story). 
 
Hope this helps.

Forgot to say! The Cable and X-Force stuff runs a pretty close second to being an essential purchase. These stories really link up everything from Messiah Complex through Messiah War up to Second Coming. Just didn't want to overwhelm you with stuff marked as 'essential'!!!

Trying to put together a list of my own but all I've got to go on is what I've read on wikipedia, thinking...
 
House of M
Decimation: X-Men - The Morning After
X-Men: Deadly Genesis
Uncanny X-Men: Rise and Fall  of the Shi'ar Empire 
X-Men: Endangered Species
Messiah Complex 
Uncanny X-Men: Divided We Stand
Xforce 1-2
X-Force / Cable: Messiah War
Xforce 3
Uncanny X-Men: Manifest Destiny
Uncanny X-Men: Utopia
Nation X
XNecrosha
X-Men: Second Coming
X-Men: Second Coming - Revelations
Uncanny X-Men: The Birth of Generation Hope
 
Don't know what Decimation books to read though, the 198? the Day after? Both? Neither?
Same goes for Diveded We Stand and Diveded he Stands
And the Utopia stuff
Anything missing? Anything in there that I don't really need to read?
 
Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Have to say most of that's fairly abitrary... a lot of the stuff listed either isn't very good, or doesn't move things forward beyond what you already see on the cover. If you want to read the really important lead-ins to Schism, they are: House of M, Messiah Complex (and the Carey run leading into it), Uncanny X-Men #500 and Utopia. Everything else is kind of by-the-by. If you want something a little meatier than that I'd suggest you follow the first bit of the Mike Carey X-Men run up to Messiah Complex, and then Uncanny X-Men after it - including the crossovers that flow out of it - and Generation Hope along with it. Everything else is utterly supplementary.

House of M - the last issue's pretty vital but you've probably already read it

Decimation: X-Men - The Morning After - the Claremont one-shot maybe, the rest not so much

Decimation: Son of M - no impact on anything

Decimation: The 198 - decent but nothing that isn't covered in all the other books

X-Men: Deadly Genesis - only helping set up Xavier's role in "Messiah Complex" (for that matter Joss Whedon's superior run achieves pretty much the same thing) and the following story...

Uncanny X-Men: Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire - pretty good but has nothing on Schism

Civil War: X-Men - no

Civil War: Wolverine - decent but doesn't have anything to do with the X-Men

X-Men: Supernovas - actually really good when I re-read it recently, but awfully reliant on pre-existing obscure pieces of the X-Men chess board - and it's all pretty crucial to the next book:

X-Men: Blinded By the Light - which serves as the major lead-in to Messiah Complex

X-Men: Endangered Species - nice introduction to MC but not remotely essential

X-Men: Messiah Complex - the big one, I think

Wolverine: Get Mystique - fun but not essential

Uncanny X-Men: Divided We Stand - not even vaguely essential, even if it is the one where they move to SF

X-Men Legacy: Divided He Stands - the importance of "Xavier's quest" is a little overstated (especially given he gets relegated to the background afterwards)... it's pretty good but again a lot more satisfying if you have an unhealthily deep knowledge of X-Men backstory

X-Men Legacy: Sins of the Father - see above

X-Men: Original Sin - more significant for Wolverine Origins than the X-Men

X-Men Legacy: Salvage - this one's actually pretty important

X-Force: Angels & Demons - "important" development for Angel... but you know what it is from looking at the cover - setup for Second Coming as well

X-Force: Old Ghosts - if you like blood...

X-Force / Cable: Messiah War - irrelevant even to the Hope thing

X-Force: Not Forgotten - if you like X-23...

Cable: Messiah War - Some of the stories in this Cable series are better than others, but overall there's very little in it that you wouldn't pick up about the development of Hope from looking at the covers - she grows up in war-torn environments in the future, on the run from Bishop, etc - I can't honestly recommend them

Cable: Waiting for the End of the World - see above, plus bugs.

Cable: Homecoming - kind of stops being an epic here, one of the less good ones

Uncanny X-Men: Manifest Destiny - issue 500 a crucial one, the rest not so much

Uncanny X-Men: Lovelorn - one of the better of Fraction's run, with the introduction of the Science Club and some setup for Utopia

Uncanny X-Men: Sisterhood - not so good but there's a nice X-Club story in issue 511

Secret Invasion: X-Men - irrelevant and not even a good Carey story

Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia - one of the vital ones

Uncanny X-Men: Utopia - not sure what this is referring to. Nation X? In which case, some important developments here

X-Men: Necrosha - not important

X-Men: Second Coming - only significant development (besides certain characters dying) is Hope coming back - which you can tell from the covers - and is hardly explored at all beyond the effort to protect her in the first couple of chapters. Given the format is modelled after Messiah Complex, a bit of a massive letdown, presumably due to last minute editorial interference

X-Men: Second Coming - Revelations - not important at all

Uncanny X-Men: The Birth of Generation Hope - really important for the Gen Hope series, and some elements come into play in Schism

Uncanny X-Men: Quarantine - resolves a couple of things from previous Uncanny books

Uncanny X-Men: Breaking Point - nice start to Gillen's run but doesn't impact on Schism really

Generation Hope: The Future is a Four Letter Word - introduces another GenHoper, albeit not one that has a major role in Schism like Idie does