What the **** is this *****?!?!?!?!??!!?
Seriously! They ruined it! Fox has officially produced something that can only be described in two words!
EEEEEEPPIIIIIIICCCCC FAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
Lemme go through how they screwed up the characters (As I love to do in my reviews. Yeah, I got a style, deal with it.)
Wolverine - Hugh Jackman is back................. again. He's always looked mediocre for the part (Ex - he's TALL.) And he always does a decent performance. Once again, the problem with movie-logan is.... he's just Logan. Never, NEVER, does this character ring to be "Wolverine" to me, just Logan. Same as in the X-trilogy. Again. At least he didn't cry as much as he did in X-men three. (What is it with Marvel making their leads in trilogies cry? Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Spidey.)
Gambit - He was okay.... for the four and 'a half seconds he was on there. Oh, except for the accent. So we get four and 'a half seconds, with a flawed accent. That's great.
Wade Wilson - Ryan Reynolds, you sir, ARE DEADPOOL. The only reason I'm not giving this a 0/5 (Besides the fact that the rating system won't let me) is Ryan's performance as Wade Wilson. Don't even get me started on the awesomeness of the elavator scene.....
Barakapool - WTF??
Blob - You can tell it's a fat suit, but they did a good job.... aside from the fact that Blob has always been fat. ALWAYS.
Agent Zero - Isn't he German? Oh, and it took five minutes for Logan to kill him.
Cyclops - Perfect as the trilogy before it, but I thought his lasers were CONCUSSIVE, as in, they didn't go through walls?
CGI Xavier - Had better acting than most of the Team X guys ('Cept Ryan)..... kinda sad when you think about it.
Sabertooth - Seeing Liev Shcrieber leap like a frog?? I LOVE THAT-- oh wait, no I don't. They probably got him right, but I don't even care enough to check, because I really don't care for most of the Logan-y characters....
That's all the ones I really care to remember at this point... I'm sure there was more.
Okay, so this wasn't a serious review, and I'm bored outta my skull, whatever, but still, this movie sucked, don't watch it, unless you just go in for the part where Wade Wilson kills a room full of armed men within 30 seconds. Then leave. Quickly. Before Barakapool rapes your eyes.
