vagrantsaint's X-Men Origins: Beast #1 review

A Beastly Disappointment

In This Issue:
Another retelling of an X-Man's origin; this month it's Beast's turn.  When his mutant powers emerge it actually garners him some popularity among his peers and teachers at school when he leads the football team to state championships.  Unfortunately his streak of luck comes to an end when the Conquistador takes his parents hostage to force Hank to break into his father's office at the local nuclear power plant and steal... something... for him.
 
The Good:
I really liked the artwork here.  The nearly realistic paints were pretty awesome.  A tip of the hat to J.K.Woodward for a job well done.  I'm hoping to see really good things from him in the future.  The story started out ok enough.  Everything was set up pretty perfectly.  Hank had a girl-friend that was a TOTAL potential love interest for him.  He's the dorky, brainy guy at school (of course) so the jocks don't really like him, but he shows them up in front of the football coach, which lands him as the team's new star player.
Things were looking pretty good for young Mr. McCoy and this issue until...
 
The Bad:
Everything bad about this issue pretty much starts when Conquistador shows up.  The story just goes off the rocker right here.  I don't know if Mike Carey (who I'm usually a really big fan of) was having a bad day or what?
Why does the Conquistador need Hank to break into the nuclear power plant?  This guy is a C-lister at best, but if a teenager can break into this place, why can't the guy with lots of money, henchmen, armor and a sword that shoots lightning bolts?!  I'm just sayin'.
Not to mention how Hank got into the plant in the first place.  He walked up to the gate, handed the guards his dad's ID (that, hopefully, had his dad's picture on it) and they let him right on in.  I guess the old saying, "if you act like you belong, then you belong", goes pretty far in the Marvel U.
I was a little miffed when he kicked in the steel door as well.  I mean, this is Hank McCoy, he couldn't find an ingenious way to bypass the palm scanner?  C'mon!
(Did anyone notice that when Hank passes the police on the highway, they're all driving on the left side of the road?)
If Hank could so easily thomp on Conquistador and his goons, then why didn't he just do that in the beginning and skip over the whole "break into the nuclear power plant" part?  Maybe that's why Conquistador couldn't break into the plant himself, because he can get his butt handed to him by a teenager.  *sigh*
Ah, then there was the most classic scene in this issue, when Charles Xavier shows up.  The first thing he does is mind-wipe Hanks parents and then states that he only does that as a last line of defense.  But that was his first move.  THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Speaking of not making any sense, the scene where Hank is skulking through his old hometown where, thanks to good ol' Xavier, no one remembers him.  You could rip out that entire page and not notice, in fact it would probably make things a little less awkward.
And then bippity, boppity, BOO!  Hank's an X-Man!
 
The Final Verdict:
I had to give this one only two and a half stars because of the complete lack of story pretty much after Conquistador shows up.  There were plenty of completely unused plot devices from the beginning of the book that were just left high and dry.  For shame!
 
Until next time...
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