SPONSORED POST: What Is Needed In A Wonder Woman?

Posted by Riezner (417 posts) - - Show Bio

One of the benefits of working at SuperHeroStuff.com is that we get to b!tch and moan about what all the movie directors are doing wrong…and get paid for it. See, the deal is, that when movie (and TV) directors go on the hunt for the next Wonder Woman, you just know they’re going to FRAK it up. We’re here to set them straight. They should simply ignore their desire piss all over comic canon under the guise of “artistic license” or that they are “thinking for themselves,” “trying something fresh,” or “getting away from that old stale look.” Idiots! This path is inevitably one of many stupid decisions they will make in a long list of many stupid decisions, and Heath Ledger won’t be there to save them.

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Picking Wonder Woman involves nothing more than a seven point list of very simple concepts along with the ability to read a handful of comics. The 7 traits needed in our next Wonder Woman:

1. Tall. She needs to be tall! Wonder Woman (in the real life comics) is 5'11”. At that height there aren’t that many applicants, but at least the casting director will know to focus on the taller babes. If the girls need a little help, our Wonder Woman Go-Go Boots should do the trick.

2. Beautiful. Not just beautiful, but drop dead, traffic stopping, jaw dropping beautiful. The “Oh-no!-my-wife-just-caught-me-staring-at-that-woman-for-30-seconds-straight” beautiful. The kind that would make most guys run away screaming, “I’m not worthy!!”

3. Exotic. The next Wonder Woman can’t be your average bombshell from California or Texas. She has to have more of a Mediterranean look, slightly ethnic with olive skin.

Above: Wonder Woman Travel Mugs, Wonder Woman Logo Tees, and Wonder Woman Belt Buckles

4. Perfectly Proportioned. Yeah, sure guys go nuts over the Pamela Anderson Thunder Boobs look, but Wonder Woman is more than just a set of cannons. Much more! She’s statuesque, yet has curves without being ridiculously over-endowed. When one looks at Wonder Woman, it’s different than looking at any other super heroine. With Power Girl, your eyes are compelled (as if against your will) to gravitate to her bosom. No force on Earth can stop you from doing it.

It’s the same with all the super heroines, and villains. With Catwoman, she reeks of sexual appeal. Black Canary and Zatanna? You’re eyes are drawn to the fish nets. Supergirl? The skirt. Hawkgirl? Her flat tummy and then the mask…gotta love the mask. Huntress? Her butt. But Wonder Woman is different. She’s perfectly shaped and a reader doesn’t jump to viewing her as a sex object (as quickly) as they do the other girls. However, I have noticed those shorts of hers are hiking up higher and higher every year. I hear a thong is her new costume in 2013. Or maybe a Wonder Woman Camisole Set?

5. Has Muscles! Sure guys like girls on the more slender side, but Wonder Woman is an Amazon, which means she has muscles, strength, POWER! Any comic worthy geek can tell you, that Wonder Woman’s strength is arguably just shy of Superman’s. If push came to shove, she can hold her own against the Hulk. … well for a while. But she’d most likely have to pull an Ultimates Wasp move on him if she wanted to stop him in his tracks. The deal is that, we need to see her strength on screen, and that means when she “lifts” that Blackhawk helicopter in the air, we better damn sure see some muscles in her back flexing and some bicep action going.

6. Can Fight. You know the director’s going to forget Wonder Woman is an Amazon, a warrior woman of Greek mythology. The movie makers never seem to understand that the audience can tell when the editor and special effects guys are making up for the fact that the heroine can’t fight. The angle of the camera will hide her awkward right punch, the editing will take care of her failed attempts at pathetic kicking and close-ups will obfuscate that punch while the bad guy compensates with a spectacular kidney punch inspired dive. It’s like watching a very non-athletic girl throw a baseball. No, what is needed is Wonder Woman who is as convincing and natural with a sword as Michelle Yeoh, as fluid with the spear as Jet Li, can punch like Muhammad Ali and kick like Chuck Norris. We want... no, we NEED a badass. Uma Thurman from Kill Bill comes to mind.

7. She Can Act! Last, but definitely not least, Wonder Woman needs to be able to act on screen. A perfectly BAD example of acting was Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the girl from Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. God she was pathetic. And no amount of boobage or pouting lips can save Megan Fox from the criticizing public (note: I happen to love Megan Fox since she’s going to be my 2 wife, so I have nothing bad to say about her). We won’t be fooled by big boobs and skimpy panties…ok, so we can be fooled (e.g. Megan Fox) but we’re going to b!tch and moan, b!tch and moan about it after the movie is done playing. In the end, Wonder Woman has to be a convincing actress. We won’t let the movie people get away with just showing us cheese cake! Well, a little cheese cake is ok, but she absolutely has to be able to act.

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Left Three: Wonder Woman Apron , Wonder Woman Pin-Up Shirt, Wonder Woman Symbol Shirt

Right Three: Wonder Woman Bobblehead, Wonder Woman Gold Necklace, Wonder Woman Belt Buckle with Rhinestones

#1 Posted by KainScion (2973 posts) - - Show Bio

wow thats hot

#2 Posted by KainScion (2973 posts) - - Show Bio

wow thats hot

#3 Posted by SuperXAsh (512 posts) - - Show Bio

well-written my friend. Shame Hollywood will never read this. XD

#4 Posted by conformist21 (413 posts) - - Show Bio

2-4 are stupid reasons that can can be condensed into one...

#5 Posted by Press Oblivion (1643 posts) - - Show Bio

What's a 2 wife?

#6 Posted by sjestus (5 posts) - - Show Bio

Is that Cobie Smulders from How I Met Your Mother dressed up as Wonder Woman?! Oh Canada...

#7 Posted by Gambit1024 (9890 posts) - - Show Bio
 
 
Who is this?
#8 Posted by Grimoire (549 posts) - - Show Bio

Don't know much about Ultimate Wasp so I have no idea what move you are talking about. lol

#9 Posted by GT-Man (4054 posts) - - Show Bio

looks good moive
#10 Edited by Jordanstine (907 posts) - - Show Bio

Cool!
They should get her: 
 

Go get 'em Diana!
#11 Posted by Sydpart2 (1092 posts) - - Show Bio

this was possibly the dumbest article I've ever read on this site...I don't know if it's the marketing, the censored words, the ridiculous writing style, the lack of editing, or just how similar all the point were but my god whoever wrote this please do me a favor and destroy all keyboards, pens, pencils, and paper in your home.

#12 Posted by JBBuc (71 posts) - - Show Bio

Can I cast my vote for Gina Carano? She's 5'8, a true fighter, tough, beautiful and has a solid-but-feminine bod. She may not be perfect, but she is 1000x better than the 97 pound waif that Hollywood will eventually latch on to. 

#13 Posted by Planewalker (326 posts) - - Show Bio

I saw the pilot for the show and not think the casting was bad, but due to plot direction bad fights the show was shut down... so for one I enjoyed that WW. However no matter who is cast as Diana people will always complain, remember she's a goddess perfect not human can fill those shoes easily... so there's no point to all this casting issue

#14 Posted by Superguy0009e (2265 posts) - - Show Bio

they also need a ww who isnt a sl*t, seriously, she needs to be a strong character, and if she sleeps around with everyone, it just shows she's as weak as anyone else

#15 Posted by Burnstar1230 (210 posts) - - Show Bio

It's a shame that all of those factors do not exist in a single woman. Either they can't act, don't have the look, can't make the person believe that they can fight, or wrong proportions. There isn't a single woman on this planet that can live up to the standards that the comics have portrayed WW over the years and even if Hollywood somehow develops a WW movie, I have a feeling it just wouldn't come off as being an Amazonian woman emerging herself in the world of man, but just another face in a Wonder Woman costume.

#16 Posted by Wolverine0628 (398 posts) - - Show Bio

Wonder Woman is supposed to be the woman wonder, which obviously means that there are very few like her.  So of course it's going to be hard.  And the thing is, with Wonder Woman, it's sooo important that she be true to character.  This could make or break the movie.
#17 Posted by Drow (4 posts) - - Show Bio

Sydpart2 Flame much? Jesus. Sure there was editing issues but honestly, do you honestly think all the points are similar? Looks like the list is Tall, Beautiful, Exotic, Well Proportioned, Strong, Can Fight and Can Act. You think all beautiful women are tall and know how to fight? Or, what about women who can act, are they all well proportioned and strong? Or maybe all exotic women can fight? 
 
Burnstar and Wolverine are right, it'll be near impossible to fill all these shoes, and she should try to embody what was in the comics. But for the most part, I agree with the list and would even say they should be a natural brunette. But i guess hair can be dyed.

#18 Posted by Decept-O (7280 posts) - - Show Bio

All I know Wonder Woman sure as heck is NOT Kim Kardashian, thank you very much.

#19 Posted by ArturoCalaKayVee (12061 posts) - - Show Bio
@JBBuc said:
Can I cast my vote for Gina Carano? She's 5'8, a true fighter, tough, beautiful and has a solid-but-feminine bod. She may not be perfect, but she is 1000x better than the 97 pound waif that Hollywood will eventually latch on to. 
I completely agree with you on this. I think she would be a very good choice. Or someone like...and hear me out on this...angelina jolie. because shes in plenty of action movies, she knows how to, as the kids say, F.S.U.
#20 Posted by Morgaine_Levesque (2095 posts) - - Show Bio

Bridget Regan ftw.  
 
@Gambit1024: That's a fan-made (IIRC) photoshop of Cobie Smulders (Robin from How I Met Your Mother and Maria Hill in the upcoming Avengers movie) as Wonder Woman. 

#21 Posted by No_Name_ (17403 posts) - - Show Bio

@Decept-O said:

All I know Wonder Woman sure as heck is NOT Kim Kardashian, thank you very much.

That's what I said too! :P

#22 Posted by RedheadedAtrocitus (6885 posts) - - Show Bio

5'11" is hard to come by...because 5'9" and above is the average height of your modern age supermodel...and the problem with such women is they are disgustingly thin. I do NOT agree that the next Wonder Woman has to be "ethnic"...Mediterranean or whatever. No, when you start doing that for a role you're already limiting yourself and frankly going in a direction that is going to piss off people.  The best candidate for Wonder Woman ist he one that LOOKS BEST REGARDLESS OF HER BACKGROUND. Everything else I more or less can agree with in this article however.

#23 Posted by Jenna (25 posts) - - Show Bio

People put too much emphasis on the looks - height, hair/skin color, muscle tone, and the like can all be adjusted with a little bit of movie magic.  Just give us someone who has talent, carries herself well, and isn't a total airhead.

#24 Posted by Decept-O (7280 posts) - - Show Bio

@RedheadedAtrocitus: I agree. I took some flak a long time ago because I said something similar and also said I'd prefer an actress for the role to be American. That's just me and doesn't necessarily mean she has to be Caucasian, I'd just like to see an comic book character created by an American creator with a nice patriotic history be portrayed by an American actress. Wondie is not to be confused with say Captain America, not what I am inferring by any means, just to me, it'd be nice to have such an iconic character played by one of our own.

Having said that if they find a hottie from another country I will still be OK with it because I am shallow that way. :0)

I am glad Babs agrees with me on that one and I almost threw up in my mouth when I saw that picture.

#25 Posted by super_psycho (2792 posts) - - Show Bio
@JBBuc said:
Can I cast my vote for Gina Carano? She's 5'8, a true fighter, tough, beautiful and has a solid-but-feminine bod. She may not be perfect, but she is 1000x better than the 97 pound waif that Hollywood will eventually latch on to. 
agreed
#26 Posted by cascadeking09 (6762 posts) - - Show Bio
@RedheadedAtrocitus said:
5'11" is hard to come by...because 5'9" and above is the average height of your modern age supermodel...and the problem with such women is they are disgustingly thin. I do NOT agree that the next Wonder Woman has to be "ethnic"...Mediterranean or whatever. No, when you start doing that for a role you're already limiting yourself and frankly going in a direction that is going to piss off people.  The best candidate for Wonder Woman ist he one that LOOKS BEST REGARDLESS OF HER BACKGROUND. Everything else I more or less can agree with in this article however.
Agreed.
#27 Edited by Shipwreck (114 posts) - - Show Bio

Perfectly proportioned? How about just natural? There is no such as perfect proportions!  Perfectly beautiful? What are running superheroes or Miss. America? Yes, Wonder Woman will be beautiful but she's not the Black Cat. If anything her earthy upbringing  should be displayed in her beauty and should be earthy and natural. Not all the fake synthetic beauty of Emma Frost or Megan Fox. I agree with Sydpart2 and I think you would benefit from jumping into a cold swimming pool.

#28 Posted by 672253 (51 posts) - - Show Bio

I've said this before but what about Lucy Lawless but 10 years younger..?

#29 Posted by xerox_kitty (15762 posts) - - Show Bio

It's odd to see a Sponsored Article.  All I can say is that I don't qualify for any of those physical traits listed, and I already have the MAC Wonder Woman cosmetics & t-shirt... which is all I want!

#30 Posted by GTG12 (1575 posts) - - Show Bio

Good article
#31 Posted by Multiverse (278 posts) - - Show Bio
@ArturoCalaKayVee said:
@JBBuc said:
Can I cast my vote for Gina Carano? She's 5'8, a true fighter, tough, beautiful and has a solid-but-feminine bod. She may not be perfect, but she is 1000x better than the 97 pound waif that Hollywood will eventually latch on to. 
I completely agree with you on this. I think she would be a very good choice. Or someone like...and hear me out on this...angelina jolie. because shes in plenty of action movies, she knows how to, as the kids say, F.S.U.
I've thought Angelina Jolie should play Wonder Woman for years.
#32 Posted by TheGoldenOne (38849 posts) - - Show Bio
Gina Carano.
#33 Posted by SpidermanWins (3982 posts) - - Show Bio

I agree with this wholeheartedly but no red gogo boots. NO!

#34 Posted by GothamRed (2564 posts) - - Show Bio
@Gambit1024: It looks like Colby Smulders
#35 Posted by Moomin123 (2205 posts) - - Show Bio

 
Two words. 
Mila! Kunis!

#36 Posted by MrDirector786 (43616 posts) - - Show Bio

I agree with this article. That's all I can say. :P

#37 Edited by BadassAquaman (10 posts) - - Show Bio

Why you guys keep saying that Megan Fox is super hot? I live in Brazil and here she would pass unoticed. Of course, there would be no special effects to make her look hot.

#38 Posted by Timandm (3374 posts) - - Show Bio
@Riezner: 3. Exotic. The next Wonder Woman can’t be your average bombshell from California or Texas.
 
I  am by no means disagreeing with you, but that line made me laugh.  Not because you're wrong, but think about it... She can't be your "AVERAGE" bombshell... LOL!  Just the thought of that seems funny.   "Yes, that woman there is drop dead gorgeous but she's just an AVERAGE bombshell..."  LOL!
 Most women would just about kill to be an average bombshell, and most men would just about kill to be WITH an average bombshell... 
 
The thought just strikes me as funny, but you're right...  Man, that must be a  lot of pressure for the old gal...
#39 Posted by _Zombie_ (10460 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah.. Sydpart2 has a good point, this person seriously needs to bang their head against a wall for awhile, then destroy all writing tools in their home/workplace.  6 and 7 were decent points, but the rest was blatantly stupid and sprinkled with obvious shoddy marketing attempts.  Seriously, that wasn't even an attempt to HIDE the marketing by maybe putting it in a tiny link near the end, it was all over the article.  I would complain about the numerous spelling/grammar mistakes, but I've come to expect that as almost standard for the internet nowadays.  

#40 Posted by Sydpart2 (1092 posts) - - Show Bio
@ZombieBigfoot said:
Yeah.. Sydpart2 has a good point, this person seriously needs to bang their head against a wall for awhile, then destroy all writing tools in their home/workplace.  6 and 7 were decent points, but the rest was blatantly stupid and sprinkled with obvious shoddy marketing attempts.  Seriously, that wasn't even an attempt to HIDE the marketing by maybe putting it in a tiny link near the end, it was all over the article.  I would complain about the numerous spelling/grammar mistakes, but I've come to expect that as almost standard for the internet nowadays.  
when it's someone making a post on an article it's fine. But someone is paying for this, these kind of articles should be magazine quality writing not someone's post online.
#41 Posted by JBBuc (71 posts) - - Show Bio
@Moomin123 said:
 Two words. Mila! Kunis!
That would be a problem to me. That is exactly what I don't want to see. Don't get me wrong, Mila Kunis is beautiful. But she's about 5'3 and MAYBE 110. As Starfire in a Teen Titans movie she'd be just fine. As as the Princess of the Amazons?  In a word... no. 
 
There was some rumor about Eliza Dushku playing WW a few years ago, and I though it wouldn't work because Eliza is to small. And Eliza is noticeably bigger than Ms Kunis.
#42 Posted by _Zombie_ (10460 posts) - - Show Bio
@Sydpart2: You have a point.  It should.  But I guess over time I got so fed up with the grammatical/spelling errors all over the web that I stopped trying to b**ch about it.
#43 Edited by Aqua11500 (2647 posts) - - Show Bio

Perfectly proportioned??? WTH 
No one is perfect,you can be nicely portioned,but not perfect. 
 
 
Also finding a woman that's 5'11 would be very hard,especially if your picky for a certain look.The average day Supermodel is about 5'9,and i should know because i modeled and im 5'7. 
 
Also WW exotic, Mediterranean,Ethnic???     ..LMAO!!! 
 
WW is pretty,but shes not meant to be exotic.Diana has always been a straight up white woman with pale skin,blue eyes and dark hair.They need to find someone gorgeous for her,true.but i don't know about Olive skin or ethnic defines her look.She's definitely not a Storm..she's not even Kardashian material.  
 
See this why men are ridiculous at stuff like  this, because when it comes to women..they are so unrealistic and their visions are screwed.

#44 Posted by Erik (33329 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty terrible article.

#45 Posted by Doctor!!!!! (2055 posts) - - Show Bio

I saw the Wonder Woman animated movie a week ago and hollywood needs to learn from it.

#46 Posted by Chibi-Iroh (388 posts) - - Show Bio

I still wan't Lucy Lawless to play Diana.

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