Shouldn't Wolverine have, like, lots of kids?

#1 Edited by labarith (670 posts) - - Show Bio

And Sabertooth too (although he might take post-emptive measures, if you know what I mean).   And Daken, despite his apparent bisexuality.
 
Now I'm not suggesting I want to read about the "All new, all different Power Pack" featuring a bunch of Toddlers from the last time Wolverine got drunk, but it seems like it would be pretty unrealistic if Wolverine's out there shooting blanks all the time. 
 
Edit:  Plus, I guess it'd make for a pretty interesting storyline if kids start showing up killed only for Wolvie to learn that they're his kids...

#2 Posted by joshmightbe (24937 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith: Actually it is possible to have alot of unprotected sex without having children actually getting someone pregnant is more dumb luck than anything else even when you're trying 
#3 Posted by justafan (133 posts) - - Show Bio

there's also the death-from-knowing-wolverine syndrome where if you were a lover of wolverine you usually die after starting your relationship , sabertooth is usually involved in this.

#4 Posted by labarith (670 posts) - - Show Bio
@joshmightbe said:
@labarith: Actually it is possible to have alot of unprotected sex without having children actually getting someone pregnant is more dumb luck than anything else even when you're trying 
He's like 100+ years old, and has "makes me attractive" pheremones he never learned to control. 
He's had lots of sex.@justafan said:
there's also the death-from-knowing-wolverine syndrome where if you were a lover of wolverine you usually die after starting your relationship , sabertooth is usually involved in this.
I did think about this... and it's a good thought. 
 
But I find it highly unlikely that wolverine didn't have some sex with someone when Sabertooth was otherwise entertained (visiting his mommy?  Nah, I suspect that was smoke and mirrors). 
 
We all know of families who seem "super fertile."  I strongly suspect that Wolverine has lots of kids running around getting into all kinds of trouble.  Especially since Magneto demonstrated that your kids can have different powers... 
#5 Posted by Hawk (15833 posts) - - Show Bio

He uses the pull out method. 
But yeah everyone Logan loves .....dies.

#6 Posted by joshmightbe (24937 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith: yes it is possible than Logan has lots of kids running around out there but it is possible that he only has 1
#7 Posted by Avenging-X-Bolt (13400 posts) - - Show Bio

say what you want about Logan, he's a safe sex fanatic
#8 Posted by justafan (133 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith said:
@joshmightbe said:
@labarith: Actually it is possible to have alot of unprotected sex without having children actually getting someone pregnant is more dumb luck than anything else even when you're trying 
He's like 100+ years old, and has "makes me attractive" pheremones he never learned to control. 
He's had lots of sex.@justafan said:
there's also the death-from-knowing-wolverine syndrome where if you were a lover of wolverine you usually die after starting your relationship , sabertooth is usually involved in this.
I did think about this... and it's a good thought.  But I find it highly unlikely that wolverine didn't have some sex with someone when Sabertooth was otherwise entertained (visiting his mommy?  Nah, I suspect that was smoke and mirrors).  We all know of families who seem "super fertile."  I strongly suspect that Wolverine has lots of kids running around getting into all kinds of trouble.  Especially since Magneto demonstrated that your kids can have different powers... 
Wolverine probably has had many children, but he has probably outlived many of them.Wolverine kind of gets around and he gets around the whole world, so the life expectancies of his kids are probably all over. Their ages are probably over the place too.  
#9 Posted by justafan (133 posts) - - Show Bio

did M-Day kill any mutants or just depower them? Because if it did then it could have killed some of wolverines children

#10 Posted by PrinceIMC (5422 posts) - - Show Bio

And if Wolverine has kids they aren't necessarily going to inherit his powers. Look at Magneto's kids, only one has magnetic powers. And plus.....Wolverine has pheremones now?

#11 Posted by labarith (670 posts) - - Show Bio
@joshmightbe said:
@labarith: yes it is possible than Logan has lots of kids running around out there but it is possible that he only has 1
I'm just saying it's statistically unlikely... unless you want to tell that her swimmers can't find their way outside of a paper bag. 
 
@justafan said:
@labarith said:
@joshmightbe said:
@labarith: Actually it is possible to have alot of unprotected sex without having children actually getting someone pregnant is more dumb luck than anything else even when you're trying 
He's like 100+ years old, and has "makes me attractive" pheremones he never learned to control. 
He's had lots of sex.@justafan said:
there's also the death-from-knowing-wolverine syndrome where if you were a lover of wolverine you usually die after starting your relationship , sabertooth is usually involved in this.
I did think about this... and it's a good thought.  But I find it highly unlikely that wolverine didn't have some sex with someone when Sabertooth was otherwise entertained (visiting his mommy?  Nah, I suspect that was smoke and mirrors).  We all know of families who seem "super fertile."  I strongly suspect that Wolverine has lots of kids running around getting into all kinds of trouble.  Especially since Magneto demonstrated that your kids can have different powers... 
Wolverine probably has had many children, but he has probably outlived many of them.Wolverine kind of gets around and he gets around the whole world, so the life expectancies of his kids are probably all over. Their ages are probably over the place too.  
I'm going to assume that his kids are all mutants.  It's more fun that way. 
 
Now... I think what you're saying, though, is true - I think it might very well be interesting to see a kid who is "elderly" (mutant or not - remember Wanda and jerkface). 
 
However, despite the (lack of) X23/wolverine parental stories, or his involvement in Daken's life, I think there are (likely) wolvie kids out there. 
 
But Marvel has good reason not to have these guys running around... it deludes the importance of Daken and X23.  Solution:  Story arc where some big bad hunts down his kids.  Wolverine is one of the X-men called in to work on the death of a mutant, and we learn it's his son or daughter thanks to DNA testing.  They're all shocked (especially if it's an old man), but they find out that some asshole's going around killing Wolverine's bastard (literally) children.  Which, of course, means that Wolverine wants to kill somebody.  Who, inevitably, will turn out to be a clone, and the original (or visca versa) will be working for Sinister.  Or not, I don't care. 
 
I'm worried about statistics, not good story telling.  But the latter requires on being believable. 
  @justafan said:
did M-Day kill any mutants or just depower them? Because if it did then it could have killed some of wolverines children
Depowered.  So they could be human.  Of course, telling a story where they're human is just... well... it's been done.  The Sabertooth story in the old X-men anime, for one. 
 
@PrinceIMC said:
And if Wolverine has kids they aren't necessarily going to inherit his powers. Look at Magneto's kids, only one has magnetic powers. And plus.....Wolverine has pheremones now?
The post-Daken assumption is that he does have pheremones.  Because woman wouldn't be attracted to a runt, no matter how badass he is (I think this is cannon - mentioned by Daken at some point - but I don't know that Wolvie knows this...). 
 
And yes, his kids could have completely new powers (see the unsatisfying Ultimate X... ugh... AND no Kitty.)  However, again, unless we want the all new Power Pack, I suggest we find most of Wolverine's kids dead.  by murder.
#12 Posted by joshmightbe (24937 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith: Actually M day did kill quite a few minutes just not directly some Mutants who could fly were mid flight when it happened, Chamber almost died because his mutation was basically keeping him alive so he ended up on life support and in Generation M they showed several mutants dying as a result like a guy who had gills and lived in water so he drowned when M day hit 
#13 Posted by labarith (670 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah, and Magma's bf died a volcanoy death... I recall. 
 
It is, of course, possible that 1 or more of his kids died because they were doing mutanty things at the wrong time.  Boo fricking hoo.  If we're going to tell a ground-level story about Wolverine finding out he has (had) more kids, having kids die from cancer, random murder, or being turned to stone by FIGG doesn't add anything to the story... or any story. 
 
Now... if the watcher decides to get off his ass and narrate the definitive history of Wolverine's sex life at one point, then SURE.  We might learn about little Tommy Fischer whose mother was raped by a brainwashed Wolverine in her sleep, and woke up pregnant, only to give birth to the boy who could not die.  Unfortunately a cannonball hits him in the circus on M day, killing him.  But that's not a very interesting story, is it? 
 
It's a numbers game.

#14 Posted by MrSeaman70 (294 posts) - - Show Bio

It be easy to spot Wolvie's kids if they inherit his hairdo :D 
I'm sure he's lots of love children out there especially in places where he spent the most time like Japan, Madripoor, and Canada. I'm like 100% sure he has a love child in Madripoor.
#15 Posted by gravitypress (2069 posts) - - Show Bio

Unstable molecule condoms! Trademark Reed Richards

#16 Posted by Shadow_Thief (2509 posts) - - Show Bio

Wasn't there a story arc where Wolverine learned that he and Sabretooth were essentially a separate evolutionary branch of humanity, descended from canine ancestors rather than primates? If this is the case, it could explain the relative rarity of their breeding habits resulting in viable offspring.

#17 Posted by labarith (670 posts) - - Show Bio
@Shadow_Thief said:
Wasn't there a story arc where Wolverine learned that he and Sabretooth were essentially a separate evolutionary branch of humanity, descended from canine ancestors rather than primates? If this is the case, it could explain the relative rarity of their breeding habits resulting in viable offspring.
I think that was either parable or idiocy.  I don't think it's been mentioned since, except to say it didn't happen. 
 
Also, it was god damned stupid.
#18 Posted by joshmightbe (24937 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith: Actually that was the whole point of the Romulus story arc 
#19 Posted by logansgirl (140 posts) - - Show Bio
I Wolverine #4  while in hell still he makes the statement 
"I see the faces of the children I was never there for. Daken and others I don't even recognize"
 
I think that pretty much says it all.
#20 Posted by labarith (670 posts) - - Show Bio
@joshmightbe said:
@labarith: Actually that was the whole point of the Romulus story arc 
No, it wasn't.  The point was to try and connect together the misc. plotpoints of Wolverine's life as the epic plan of one evil bad-ass Wolverine clone, Romulus. 
 
The wolf-crap was crap on a crap incoherent crap crap.  Remember when Spiderman gave birth to himself as a giant dead spider?  The Wolf divergent shit was incoherenter x 1000. 
 
It made absolutely no sense.
#21 Posted by Timandm (3374 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith said:
@joshmightbe said:
@labarith: Actually that was the whole point of the Romulus story arc 
No, it wasn't.  The point was to try and connect together the misc. plotpoints of Wolverine's life as the epic plan of one evil bad-ass Wolverine clone, Romulus.  The wolf-crap was crap on a crap incoherent crap crap.  Remember when Spiderman gave birth to himself as a giant dead spider?  The Wolf divergent shit was incoherenter x 1000.  It made absolutely no sense.
That was a pretty good review of the whole Romulus thing... You should put it in the review section...
 
And as for Logan having lots of kids... He very well might have...
 
There is, however, a chance that after the first 50 years of his life or so, he learned to 'put a cap on things' to avoid having kids... Supposedly wisdom comes with age... We can hope.
 
HOWEVER, it IS the Marvel Universe...  i'm sure they'd be willing to pull a Wolverine kid out of the woodwork's any time they thought it would boost sales...
#22 Posted by labarith (670 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm not sure you want to make Wolverine out to be the kind of guy who uses birth control.  Maybe nowadays, with his cleanshaven gf... but come on. 
 
The arc I'm suggesting is a way to clean house.  Wolverine's got to have lots of kids, but we don't really WANT him to have lots of kids... and we don't mind breaking a few necks and laying them at Logan's door... so...

#23 Posted by Suiken_Seiji (520 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith:  
 
Women arn't attracted to runts? So we're speaking on behalf of all women now? Come on... Everyone has their own specific preferences. Just because Logan is a runt wouldn't discriminate him to every type of woman out there. Maybe the majority, but not all.
 
I've seen some pretty weird couples that are with one another for no other reason than finding them attractive. 
 
To say that, that's like saying... No guy finds any over weight woman attractive, or that no guy should find any guy attractive. That's simply stero-typing, bad thing to do
 
Come on now... Really making a case about his height size being such a big concern that EVERY, not majority but EVERY woman out there is bothered by height differences that he has pheromones and it's the only way for him to be with a girl?  
 
You either haven't dated much, haven't been out much, not around couples or seen a lot of couples, have a "weird perspective", simply just don't like Logan, trying to nip pick at his height, or took Daken's words literal. Take your pick, either or... He doesn't have pheromones and he gets the girl time to time, and even has kids. 
 
Daken don't like his own Father, he has daddy issues. Anyone with daddy issues either don't like their dad or is in love with their dad. Either or, don't taken Daken's words for truth. The guy has been known to manipulated people. Taking his word's literal for truth is a bit odd knowing he has deceived and lied. 
 
I know if I got lied to and deceived, you be the last person I'd believe anything about anything
#24 Posted by Nefarious (21243 posts) - - Show Bio

Does Sabretooth even have children?

#25 Posted by Timandm (3374 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith said:
I'm not sure you want to make Wolverine out to be the kind of guy who uses birth control.  Maybe nowadays, with his cleanshaven gf... but come on.  The arc I'm suggesting is a way to clean house.  Wolverine's got to have lots of kids, but we don't really WANT him to have lots of kids... and we don't mind breaking a few necks and laying them at Logan's door... so...
Sure he's not the most polite of individuals... LOL!!!
 
But he does CARE about other people... Surely he wouldn't want to go around leaving women pregnant with his children...  He DOES have a sense of honor, don't you think?
 
Sabertooth on the other hand... He'd probably be proud of the fact...
#26 Posted by U R Sofa King We Todd Did (1124 posts) - - Show Bio
@labarith: you seem to really really really want logan to have kids, like every time someone gives a more than responsible reason for him not to have kids you either claim it to be totally false or make assumptions on wolverine's character. why?
#27 Posted by Timandm (3374 posts) - - Show Bio
@Nefarious said:
Does Sabretooth even have children?
I hope not... BUT... Marvel will probably spring one out of nowhere soon... They'll be like their dad, and they'll be out for revenge against Wolverine....  Of course, Wolverine will stop the kid and proceed to tell them what an asshat their father was... And the kid will breakdown and cry.... And then Logan will basically adopt them and bring them into the X-Men...
#28 Posted by Nefarious (21243 posts) - - Show Bio
@Timandm: That would make for an interesting turn of events but I agree, I hope not. I was thinking if he did, they would be out for blood but....man oh man.
#29 Edited by HannibalKing (50 posts) - - Show Bio
@Nefarious said:

Does Sabretooth even have children?

Graydon Creed, who he had  with Mystique.
#30 Posted by Nefarious (21243 posts) - - Show Bio
@HannibalKing: That is the only child he has? Graydon is an ironic character.
#31 Edited by HannibalKing (50 posts) - - Show Bio
@Nefarious Well, if he does, he probably doesn't know about them, nor does he care. Besides, knowing Sabretooth's "animalistic tendancies" I don't want to know about the children he's had.
#32 Edited by Nefarious (21243 posts) - - Show Bio
@HannibalKing: Hmm, I'm sure the writers will introduce another mutant child of Sabretooth. I mean, the guy has been around for a very long time, he must have been busy. But yeah, he would not care....

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