Why You Wouldn't Want To Date Thor

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Posted by No_Name_ (17403 posts) - - Show Bio
 It's HAMMER TIME

When your nickname is "The God of Thunder" it's a guarantee that you are pretty good at a lot of things. Such as, but not limited to; creating poor weather conditions for us "mere mortals," flying at the speed of light, manipulating matter and cosmic energy, fighting bad guys capable of zapping any normal person out of existence, and many more great and awesome things that would take way too long to mention here. I suppose that being equipped with Mjolnir and harnessing this ultimate cosmic power can come in handy when you are splitting your time between defending Asgard from cosmic beings like the Frost Giants, and participating in play time with the Avengers, right? So while he may be great at a lot of things, I bet there is one thing that Thor wouldn't be good at: relationships. Okay, so the "God of Thunder" can't be good at everything, right? Relationships between people are tough enough without any kind of super powers being thrown into the mix! The thing is, though, Thor might be the absolute worst guy for a girl to want to date, and here's a list of reasons why.  

 == TEASER ==

   The Obsession With The Hammer...

Think about that for a minute. Just let that sink in. It's bad enough that the guy walks around dressed like he's ready for the Renaissance Festival 365 days out of the year, but he's always got  that damn Hammer on him. And he's obsessed. He even calls to it like it's a puppy- "Hammer! HAMMER!" Okay, allow me to put it into perspective for you; imagine yourself at on a date with a guy (or girl, if you prefer) at your favorite restaurant or movie theater. Rather than leaving a cell phone, or a wallet at home, he (or she) forgets a Hammer. He would then proceed to rise from his chair and start calling out for his Hammer in that boisterous voice of his as though the Hammer were a puppy. Talk about embarrassing, right? But that isn't even the tip of the iceberg! Don't even get me started on the psychological reasons behind this obsession- I don't even want to go there. 

 CRUNNCH!

A person can have some really terrible personality traits, but in my opinion, arrogance makes it into the top 3 things I don't want in a boyfriend. The best example of Thor's arrogance also happens to be a tremendous part of his origin story. The reason Thor came to earth in the first place was because he arrogantly disobeyed his father, Odin, when he took it upon himself to establish a truce between the Asgardians and the their enemies, the Frost Giants. Thor's actions led Asgard to the brink of war, and is something that could have easily been avoided had Thor not deliberately disobeyed his father. That isn't the only time Thor has displayed his arrogant nature, either. 


 BLARGH! Evil Elf Witch! 

More recently in Thor #3 he let Tony Stark have it and put him in his place, going so far as to crush Tony's Iron Man helmet in anger, explaining to Tony that he probably shouldn't be giving orders to the God of Thunder. Now, if he disrespects his Dad that way, and he disrespects his BFF that way, then by golly he might disrespect his girlfriend that way, too! IIt was in a recent issue of Avengers Prime that we saw a good example of Thor's arrogance when it comes to women. Thor jumped the gun rather quickly, cavalierly accusing an innocent woman of lying and of being an "Elf Witch;" demanding information from her. His behavior is so deplorable in this scene, that Captain America is forced to step in. See, if Thor wasn't so arrogant, he probably wouldn't have behaved so badly. He might even have better manners... 

       Mind your manners!
Dinner at Mom's could quickly turn into disaster at Mom's. Let's be honest here, Asgardians don't exactly seem like model citizens for etiquette. I mean, aside from the fact that it might be hard to have a conversation with Thor (whose intelligence according to Marvel is a 2 out of 7), never-mind eating with the guy! Chances are, the only experience the God of Thunder has ever had eating in public is in his Mead Hall, so if he throws a chicken drumstick at you from across the table because he doesn't find your jokes that funny, don't be too offended. 

The thing you have to remember is that you're dealing with a "God," a seemingly omnipotent being that's used to always getting his way and being the biggest and strongest dude in the room. Of course Thor may not be dating material, but his are actually some of the best stories ever told by Marvel comics. So even though my reasons for not dating Thor may have been a bit harsh, he's still one of my favorite characters. If you want to know more about the character, check out Thor's series over at Marvel, and don't forget to check out the Thor movie which hits theaters on Friday, May 6th.  

Do you think Thor is date-worthy? Who do you think is the least date-worthy character in comics? 



   

#1 Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice article ;)

#2 Posted by Wattup (648 posts) - - Show Bio

But he's oh so dreamy...sigh...

#3 Posted by Trodorne (2572 posts) - - Show Bio

Maybe there should be an article on why you should not date namor.... lol

 great article.

#4 Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio
@Trodorne said:
" Maybe there should be an article on why you should not date namor.... lol great article. "
I second that!
#5 Posted by MarioBoza (11 posts) - - Show Bio

So it seems Thor would be one of those "work in progress" guys huh? lol :P

#6 Posted by Trodorne (2572 posts) - - Show Bio
@A_O_N said:
" @Trodorne said:
" Maybe there should be an article on why you should not date namor.... lol great article. "
I second that! "
I Third the seconding of the first......
#7 Posted by cmaprice (809 posts) - - Show Bio

Re: Hammer obsession-
" Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. " -Freud

I know your point was tongue-in-cheek, but if you largely depended on a magic hammer that in other hands could prove disastrous, I dare say you'd keep close tabs on it as well.

#8 Edited by Mr. Dead Pool (2625 posts) - - Show Bio

My nine year old daughter says she would marry Thor if she got the chance. I told her to go for it if she was ever in Asgard and/or the Marvel universe, but after reading this I may need to change my answer. 

#9 Posted by dewboy01 (1876 posts) - - Show Bio

Gods like him criticize us humans/ mortals, what are we slaves to them, why just kill us if they hate us that much? what makes them better than us? our way of life's non of their business.
#10 Posted by RedheadedAtrocitus (6885 posts) - - Show Bio

Well I'm pretty sure I don't; wanna date Thor...Valkyrie though...oh baby...

#11 Posted by tonis (6202 posts) - - Show Bio

lol, men and their hammer obsessions, no doubt, too complicated to analyze here :)


I gotta say though, the Thor in the Avengers animated series pulls off a more gentleman like approach. He doesn't let the Hulk insult the ladies and treats them with the respect they should.

You might not do too bad with that version of him. :)
#12 Posted by hrodvitnir (26 posts) - - Show Bio

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd be less worried about how Thor would treat you on a date, and more worried about how Sif will treat you when she finds out you've been on a date with Thor.

#13 Posted by demifiend (3575 posts) - - Show Bio

cause he isnot even capable of beat hulk

#14 Posted by pheonixspectre (6 posts) - - Show Bio
@RedheadedAtrocitus:
Thor should date the hulk
#15 Posted by hrodvitnir (26 posts) - - Show Bio
@RedheadedAtrocitus: 
Valkyrie is a good choice, but I was always a fan of Hel for Asgardian women.
#16 Edited by Sweep (19 posts) - - Show Bio

The whole Asguardian lifestyle sounds kinda gnarly, but that lack of manners could also be interpreted as extreme confidence. I'm not going to shower, and eat dinner with my hands? F** yeah, let's get primal up in this bitch! Girls love confidence, and ruggedness. Right? Isn't that why Wolverine keeps getting laid all the time?
While I will admit that Thor does have a goofy dress sense, he also has a pretty sweet beard. +1 for facial hair.

As for the arrogance, isn't he entitled to some kind of recognition for the fact that he's a f***king thunder god? Humility is all well and good, but not to the extent that people walk all over you and treat you like a b***h. This guy knows what he wants and isn't going to tolerate any of your shi***

So, in summary, yes I think you should date Thor, Babs. Or... y'know... fake your own death?

#17 Posted by Thor's hammmer (7184 posts) - - Show Bio

I have a few pictures on my hard drive of him hitting Sif.....
#18 Posted by PowerHerc (80842 posts) - - Show Bio
@RedheadedAtrocitus said:
"

                    Well I'm pretty sure I don't; wanna date Thor...Valkyrie though...oh baby...

                   

                "

Hell Yeah!
#19 Posted by Bestostero (5616 posts) - - Show Bio

needs a haircut i think...

#20 Posted by Avenging-X-Bolt (12424 posts) - - Show Bio

humans and gods/godess shouldnt date.....thats kind of like why old people and little kids dont date.  we're just not on their level in any sense of the word.
#21 Posted by JonesDeini (3619 posts) - - Show Bio
@Sweep said:
" The whole Asguardian lifestyle sounds kinda gnarly, but that lack of manners could also be interpreted as extreme confidence. I'm not going to shower, and eat dinner with my hands? Fuck yeah, let's get primal up in this bitch! Girls love confidence, and ruggedness. Right? Isn't that why Wolverine keeps getting laid all the time?

While I will admit that Thor does have a goofy dress sense, he also has a pretty sweet beard. +1 for facial hair.

As for the arrogance, isn't he entitled to some kind of recognition for the fact that he's a fucking thunder god? Humility is all well and good, but not to the extent that people walk all over you and treat you like a bitch. This guy knows what he wants and isn't going to tolerate any of your shit!

So, in summary, yes I think you should date Thor, Babs. Or... y'know... fake your own death?
"
Manners smanners, he's a god, of course he expects women to kneel and spit shine his hammer. 
#22 Posted by Squares (4716 posts) - - Show Bio

Least date-worthy? That is a LONG list. Norman Osborn, Deathbird, Daken...
At least Thor has some good personality traits, too. Some characters aren't even given those.

#23 Posted by cyberninja (10413 posts) - - Show Bio

Welcome to the club thor. 


    
#24 Posted by Mbecks14 (2068 posts) - - Show Bio

if he's chris hemsworth I'D even date him.


just kidding haha but great article! I feel like superheroes in general are just hard to date. Even Wonder Woman, a beautiful goddess, is kind of undateable. 
#25 Posted by TypingKira (3509 posts) - - Show Bio

The thing about Thor -- he's a prince. Why didn't you do the same one of these for Namor, huh? ;} 


This goes so well with a prior status of mine -- "I want to hear Thor say It is merely a metaphor'. 

Lol, I'll be chill with this as long as you admit that Balder is perfect in every way. Great article Babs! 


#26 Posted by TypingKira (3509 posts) - - Show Bio
@hrodvitnir said:
" Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd be less worried about how Thor would treat you on a date, and more worried about how Sif will treat you when she finds out you've been on a date with Thor. "
This. 
#27 Posted by greeneagle (156 posts) - - Show Bio

ROFL, Nice  article. Question, Do you think Tony Stark is better dating material compared to Thor?

#28 Posted by etragedy (1042 posts) - - Show Bio

And yet with all the male superheroes out there, Thor consistently ranks one of the highest among fangirls.

But then I've never really been able to figure out why fangirls like the superheroes they like. According to Stan Lee, Tony Stark (an alcoholic jerk) has always been much more popular among female readers than (loyal good guy) Peter Parker. Go figure.

#29 Posted by Xenozoic Shaman (410 posts) - - Show Bio

His profile says that he weighs 640lbs.  I'm guessing that's another possible reason.  Wouldn't want the guy to accidentally crush you while you're both sleeping.

#30 Posted by Scarlet_Rogue (151 posts) - - Show Bio

The incident in Thor #3 between Thor and Tony is a bad example. Tony is the one that crossed the bff line. He turned on his friends and used a secret clone of Thor to do it. Then shortly after Thor's return Tony hunts Thor down and tells him he better step in line?


No. He's lucky Thor let him walk home.
#31 Posted by Maki_P (275 posts) - - Show Bio

Dating a God sounds like a heavy issue (specially an arrogant one). I think it's better not to go there. Of course if a God propositioned me I would jump to it; but then again that's not the same as "dating"

#32 Posted by Maki_P (275 posts) - - Show Bio
 @etragedy said:
" And yet with all the male superheroes out there, Thor consistently ranks one of the highest among fangirls.But then I've never really been able to figure out why fangirls like the superheroes they like. According to Stan Lee, Tony Stark (an alcoholic jerk) has always been much more popular among female readers than (loyal good guy) Peter Parker. Go figure. "

Tony is Sexier
#33 Posted by ImperiousRix (1069 posts) - - Show Bio

Hey, if he really looked like Chris Hemsworth does in the movie, I'd date him.

And I'm not even gay.
#34 Posted by ComicCrazy (1537 posts) - - Show Bio

Thor is a really great movie and I'm not even a huge Thor fan.

#35 Posted by WadeWilson (22 posts) - - Show Bio
@Maki_P: that's because girls like men to be total jerks, just ask Quagmire
#36 Posted by Dark Cell (447 posts) - - Show Bio

 

Personally I found this article to be kinda pointless, all of the examples used - if put into the correct context are quite reasonable.  

 

Anyway thats my opinion, thanks for the article :)

 

#37 Posted by Praetor_fenix (222 posts) - - Show Bio

Dang, so dressing all renassance fair and all and talking to your tools is unatractive? That's news for me, there was a time i would name my guitars with female names... I guess that's the reason i've never been too popular with the ladies.

#38 Posted by Mercy_ (92257 posts) - - Show Bio
@Xenozoic Shaman said:
" His profile says that he weighs 640lbs.  I'm guessing that's another possible reason.  Wouldn't want the guy to accidentally crush you while you're both sleeping. "
Asgardian physiology. 
Moderator
#39 Posted by wingster (138 posts) - - Show Bio

#40 Posted by Outside_85 (8022 posts) - - Show Bio

Good thing Thor is already married then.

#41 Posted by goldenshot80 (7349 posts) - - Show Bio
Thor's enemy would kill the person dating Thor.
#42 Posted by Out_of_Space (720 posts) - - Show Bio
@Trodorne said:
" Maybe there should be an article on why you should not date namor.... lol great article. "
Even better article.
#43 Posted by Shadow_Thief (2509 posts) - - Show Bio

I laugh, but there is a twinge of bitterness to my mirth, as I was the guy in high school who was constantly being passed over by the ladies in favor of guys who were both arrogant and obsessed with possessions (usually their cars).

#44 Posted by leokearon (1751 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice article, I would love to see more of these articles,
#45 Posted by Metro_Man (584 posts) - - Show Bio

Love the guy. If I swung that way, I would date him no doubt about it.  I would wreck Encantress for sure.  
#46 Posted by TypingKira (3509 posts) - - Show Bio
@The Dark Huntress said:
" @Xenozoic Shaman said:
" His profile says that he weighs 640lbs.  I'm guessing that's another possible reason.  Wouldn't want the guy to accidentally crush you while you're both sleeping. "
Asgardian physiology.  "
Yeppers. Their three times as dense as a regular person (stating facts for ppl who don't know, not trying to troll)
#47 Posted by TDK_1997 (14452 posts) - - Show Bio

He isn't so bad

#48 Posted by xerox_kitty (15761 posts) - - Show Bio

The ONLY reason I wouldn't date him is because he keeps shaving the Beardy goodness off... other than that, I've dated geeks & football fans.  He can't be any worse than that ;)
Moderator
#49 Posted by Mercy_ (92257 posts) - - Show Bio
@xerox-kitty said:
" The ONLY reason I wouldn't date him is because he keeps shaving the Beardy goodness off... other than that, I've dated geeks & football fans.  He can't be any worse than that ;) "
So agreed on the Beardy Thor goodness.

@TypingKira said:
" @The Dark Huntress said:
" @Xenozoic Shaman said:
" His profile says that he weighs 640lbs.  I'm guessing that's another possible reason.  Wouldn't want the guy to accidentally crush you while you're both sleeping. "
Asgardian physiology.  "
Yeppers. Their three times as dense as a regular person (stating facts for ppl who don't know, not trying to troll) "
I was just saying that to Babs on Twitter the other night, when she mentioned the 640 thing on his bio.
Moderator
#50 Posted by TypingKira (3509 posts) - - Show Bio
@The Dark Huntress: I only said that it made sense to me, then realized that she might not have known that. . . Oh well, she knows now :}

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