When your nickname is "The God of Thunder" it's a guarantee that you are pretty good at a lot of things. Such as, but not limited to; creating poor weather conditions for us "mere mortals," flying at the speed of light, manipulating matter and cosmic energy, fighting bad guys capable of zapping any normal person out of existence, and many more great and awesome things that would take way too long to mention here. I suppose that being equipped with Mjolnir and harnessing this ultimate cosmic power can come in handy when you are splitting your time between defending Asgard from cosmic beings like the Frost Giants, and participating in play time with the Avengers, right? So while he may be great at a lot of things, I bet there is one thing that Thor wouldn't be good at: relationships. Okay, so the "God of Thunder" can't be good at everything, right? Relationships between people are tough enough without any kind of super powers being thrown into the mix! The thing is, though, Thor might be the absolute worst guy for a girl to want to date, and here's a list of reasons why.== TEASER ==
Think about that for a minute. Just let that sink in. It's bad enough that the guy walks around dressed like he's ready for the Renaissance Festival 365 days out of the year, but he's always got that damn Hammer on him. And he's obsessed. He even calls to it like it's a puppy- "Hammer! HAMMER!" Okay, allow me to put it into perspective for you; imagine yourself at on a date with a guy (or girl, if you prefer) at your favorite restaurant or movie theater. Rather than leaving a cell phone, or a wallet at home, he (or she) forgets a Hammer. He would then proceed to rise from his chair and start calling out for his Hammer in that boisterous voice of his as though the Hammer were a puppy. Talk about embarrassing, right? But that isn't even the tip of the iceberg! Don't even get me started on the psychological reasons behind this obsession- I don't even want to go there.
A person can have some really terrible personality traits, but in my opinion, arrogance makes it into the top 3 things I don't want in a boyfriend. The best example of Thor's arrogance also happens to be a tremendous part of his origin story. The reason Thor came to earth in the first place was because he arrogantly disobeyed his father, Odin, when he took it upon himself to establish a truce between the Asgardians and the their enemies, the Frost Giants. Thor's actions led Asgard to the brink of war, and is something that could have easily been avoided had Thor not deliberately disobeyed his father. That isn't the only time Thor has displayed his arrogant nature, either.
More recently in Thor #3 he let Tony Stark have it and put him in his place, going so far as to crush Tony's Iron Man helmet in anger, explaining to Tony that he probably shouldn't be giving orders to the God of Thunder. Now, if he disrespects his Dad that way, and he disrespects his BFF that way, then by golly he might disrespect his girlfriend that way, too! IIt was in a recent issue of Avengers Prime that we saw a good example of Thor's arrogance when it comes to women. Thor jumped the gun rather quickly, cavalierly accusing an innocent woman of lying and of being an "Elf Witch;" demanding information from her. His behavior is so deplorable in this scene, that Captain America is forced to step in. See, if Thor wasn't so arrogant, he probably wouldn't have behaved so badly. He might even have better manners...Dinner at Mom's could quickly turn into disaster at Mom's. Let's be honest here, Asgardians don't exactly seem like model citizens for etiquette. I mean, aside from the fact that it might be hard to have a conversation with Thor (whose intelligence according to Marvel is a 2 out of 7), never-mind eating with the guy! Chances are, the only experience the God of Thunder has ever had eating in public is in his Mead Hall, so if he throws a chicken drumstick at you from across the table because he doesn't find your jokes that funny, don't be too offended.
The thing you have to remember is that you're dealing with a "God," a seemingly omnipotent being that's used to always getting his way and being the biggest and strongest dude in the room. Of course Thor may not be dating material, but his are actually some of the best stories ever told by Marvel comics. So even though my reasons for not dating Thor may have been a bit harsh, he's still one of my favorite characters. If you want to know more about the character, check out Thor's series over at Marvel, and don't forget to check out the Thor movie which hits theaters on Friday, May 6th.
Do you think Thor is date-worthy? Who do you think is the least date-worthy character in comics?