The X-Men #51

Despite the cover prominently feature El Gato (excuse me, I mean "Erik the Red"), the issue is a continuation of the previous shocker. Now that we know Magneto is back and his daughter is Lorna, the action most likely would lead to a bit of a letdown, which it does in this issue. Steranko (who doesn't even really get credited for his artwork in the issue) does his best to carry the vapid dialogue again, but it's much more of a challenge considering Arnold Drake emptied his bag of magic beans last time. Drake does a fairly decent job of actually going somewhere for part of the issue, even though most of it is bizarre: the X-Men argue over whether they should attack Magneto or escape, the villains develop magical powers simply for effect's sake, the X-Men escape rather easily despite it all, and Cyclops hints it was all part of his master plan. Eh. Could have been worse. I'm still frustrated by the continual "I've got to push myself harder ... harder ... HARDER!" talk so replete in recent issues - as if after years of training and fighting the X-Men still need to psych themselves up to full fighting power when they are in mortal danger. Just do it already, gang. Cyclops acts more of a martinet than a leader as well, ordering the X-Men do things that should be obvious to them, with all their experience. It was a nice point to see Cyclops actually do some damage against Magneto (even in his debilitated state) - finally, thanks in part to Steranko's mature artwork, they are (sometimes) acting and succeeding as grown ups. The Iceman walk-out scene was also a nice touch, even if mildly insensible - Bobby Drake is finally acting like a grown up as well, even if a somewhat ill-tempered one. Arnold Drake's dialogue attempts to sabotage the scene ("I'm gonna finish it ... like NOW!" sort of thing), especially his poor characterization of Cyclops, but it is all right, more or less (noncommittal praise, I know). The final page of Erik the Red's appearance in the middle of literally nowhere (Drake identifies it as "the great Wasteland" ... perhaps somewhere beyond Thunderdome, but who knows) does nothing except confuse us unnecessarily (abetted by an unfortunate return of the editorial "wow, that was weird, huh, pussycat?" sort of inanity).

I would have been glad to give this issue at least 3 stars, but the latest heartbreaking installment of "the non-origins of the X-Men" b-story takes away 1 or more stars. And not just because of the horribly racist "Chico the Sidekick" debacle, though that was rather rough. The Conquistador is a complete cipher - were this the Adam West run of Batman, a villain called The Conquistador would have been fine, even enjoyed ... but not here, not now. He's just bland. But somehow he knows where Hank's parents live (perhaps he has the mutant power of knowing how to use a telephone book) and captures them off panel, just in time for the other X-Men (somehow Angel is with them, which the editorial team makes out to be a big secret on their part, like we are supposed to care) to realize they are missing. Apparently young Iceman thinks one overturned chair is "a nasty struggle," even though the table is still nice and neat. Ahh, to be young again. The Conquistador really proves his inefficacy with his ultimatum: either Hank cooperates with him or his parents will be killed. Cooperation? That's his mad scheme? Okay...