sc's The X-Men #4 - The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants review

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  • sc has written a total of 23 reviews. The last one was for The Spark

Beastie Boys VS Vanilla Ice

Overview   
The X-Men are training in the Danger Room again. Like seriously wow, I think all modern issues should follow suit. The focus is on Beast initially. He jumps around and is all beasty on a obstacle course. Actually thats kind of random? I mean, does Xavier like spend all day sticking giant metal discs on ceilings to drop? Oh, and then its crazy, because a part of Beast's obstacles, is a big pool, and there is a rope... but Xavier painted a piece of paper to look like rope? So basically there was NO WAY Beast could have cleared the pool obstacle? So Xavier was just being a prick LOL. So after the X-Men laugh their a****s off at Beast being denied, its Iceman's turn, and you know how their are all those bad Iceman is gay jokes? Well his dialogue doesn't here doesn't help much... other characters are tested too, Xavier refers to himself as Jean's taskmaster. He baked her a cake, and later on off panel, Lex Luthor stole 40 of them! 

Cyclops also uses his laser to cut the cake into slices, IMHO someone is trying to hard... Scene switch to Brotherhood of Mutants, we get introduced to Toad, Wanda (yey) Quicksilver and Mastermind. They clash and argue a bit. Wanda and Quicksilver are pretty cool here. Switch to Magneto who steals s ship, and then to Angel who conveniently notices a ship traveling though the water fast...? Then informing Xavier. We get more exposition. Magneto and the Brotherhood and their Evil Mutant Ship attack some countries, and Xavier recognizes it in a newspaper article as probably being Mags and crew. We get a red alert and it interrupts the X-Men at leisure. 

lol, Iceman was eating a giant Ice Cream, with a straw, Beast reading a book, with his foot in the air. Jean was exercising (or drunk and trying to touch her knee and head at the same time) etc Angel has massive baggy green pants on, for some reason. They get dressed though and find Xavier engaged with Magneto in the astral plane, having a psychic argument. Basically its both opposing sides preparing for battle against each other. Its pretty cool prep scenes for both. Then once the action begins its pretty cool too! lol Cyclops makes two guards forward roll over each other, over and over. Magneto is super agile though and ducks lol No wonder he is the most dangerous X-Villain ever. He has super ducking powers. (that so needs to be a mutant power right) Something explodes, Iceman gets all wet. Oh EEEEWWWWWWH. Iceman takes parts of his body and slops it onto Cyclops face to revive him after he was knocked out? WTF Ice People... seriously, its such a disturbing panel, it looks like Bobby is shoveling snow into his mouth? Like killing him. lol Mastermind tricks the X-Men, into Xavier emerges heroically from a wall of fake flames. Sorta looks like Xavier is on fire though, which is cool visual. Especially with his wheels aflame. 

AHAHAHAHA, the bad guys decide to make a ramp with a steep incline, so after the X-Men and Xavier chase after them, Xavier starts rolling too fast and can't be stopped. So he flies headfirst into a metal door LOL how slow are the X-Men, that they let Xavier roll and fly into a metal door? lmao, my ribs hurt so much. I forget this happened. Poor Xavier. Why didn't he just put his hands on the wheel? Holy, I mean that joke about stairs being his greatest enemy? Hell no, you just need a steep incline. Some other stuff happened, but basically Xavier loses his powers for a set up for next issue. Brotherhood ran away and now X-Men know they are out there.  

Random Musings   
Lots of first appearances here Mastermind, Toad, most notable though in my humble opinion, Scarlet Witch (I love me some Wanda) and Quicksilver! Of course we won't know for a while yet, their link to Magneto. Magneto's second appearance too I believe. These issues are so fun and zany. 
 
Moment of LMAO 
Ahaha, sorry, just I like Beast, but in early issues he was such a jerk. Well Xavier was a jerk too, it just seems hilariously that Xavier would try so hard to make sure his students failed lol 
 
Denied 
Moment of LMAO WTF 
Iceman forced feeds Cyclops his body. No, literally. Just stuffs his physical mass into his mouth. Be very weary of friends who insist the only way they can save your live is by putting their body parts inside your body parts /Life Lesson #4] 
 
"Eat it Cyke, I have plenty more"  
Worth Reading? 
Yes, I think so, its the first appearance of Wanda, (and Toad, I know your a Toad fan, don't deny it) and you should read all comics with Magneto and where Xavier rolls down a steep incline helplessly. 
8 Comments
Posted by Timandm

Wow, I have never noticed all the sexual inuendos in the X-Men till reading your reviews...

Beast being "denied."

Iceman wearing nothing but shoes? Oh sure, it's not as sexy as a woman wearing only high heels, but you have to give h im an A for effort?

And the whole, "eat it, Cyke" well, I don't think I even want to go there...

Posted by SC
@Timandm said:

Wow, I have never noticed all the sexual inuendos in the X-Men till reading your reviews...

Beast being "denied."

Iceman wearing nothing but shoes? Oh sure, it's not as sexy as a woman wearing only high heels, but you have to give h im an A for effort?

And the whole, "eat it, Cyke" well, I don't think I even want to go there...

 
 
Either the guys who wrote this issue were really kinky and freaky, trolling before trolling was invented, or you and I are very disturbing... I am more inclined to go with the later.. oops, I mean former lol 
Moderator
Edited by Hawkeye446

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, you are the funniest person ever... Literally....

lol, Iceman was eating a giant Ice Cream, with a straw, Beast reading a book, with his foot in the air. Jean was exercising (or drunk and trying to touch her knee and head at the same time) etc Angel has massive baggy green pants on, for some reason.

Some examples of You insane hilarity! This is actually to funny!

And LOL at when it was paper and not rope... I can just imagine Xavier standing up and being like "that's right B***h, I can play hardball!"

Posted by SC
@Hawkeye446:  Its true though, lol, those characters were doing exactly that. Angel was like.. just standing in his room, for one panel, with these really big green baggy pants lol 
 
Oh, and just... how and why would you eat ice cream? With a straw?!?!?! Why? That is like eating soup with a knife? lol  
 
LOL @ your Xavier line. 
Moderator
Posted by Hawkeye446

@SC: AHAHAH, it reminds me of when he has to tape down his wings, and they somehow fit UNDER A SHIRT!!! WHAT THE HELL!@!!!!!!! ARGGGGG and there is not bump or anything...

Lol, This is Iceman we are talking about, don't overestimate him...

Lol, Thank you!

Posted by ReVamp

Vanilla Ice >>>> Soulja Boy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>< Kreyshawn (or whatever she's called) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The world.

The title is way too epic to ignore.

Posted by SC
@ReVamp:  *grin* Thanks man. 
 
Kreyshawn?? Oh many, this is like one of those times, I realize that I have no idea what's going on in the world do I? lol **checks You Tube - see's millions of views... oh...**
Moderator
Posted by ReVamp

@SC said:

@ReVamp: *grin* Thanks man. Kreyshawn?? Oh many, this is like one of those times, I realize that I have no idea what's going on in the world do I? lol **checks You Tube - see's millions of views... oh...**

I've... confused SC? Are there cameras behind me or something like that? Is this a prank? LOL. But yeah, have fun listening to her, maybe your ears won't even bleed... if you're lucky...

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