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The Professor was testing Cannonball's lifting abilities in the Danger Room.  He continued to expect more from Cannonball, and then commanded Psyche to create an image to scare Cannonball.  The sudden appearance of the Brood Queen shocked Cannonball and he fell.  Initially angry at Psyche, the Professor telepathically calmed him down with a minor pep talk.  Meanwhile across town a furry green alien teleported into a building site.  It was quickly enraged and tore down posters for the Lila Cheney concert.

In the mansion's dance studio, Psyche grew frustrated at her leg injuries.  Stevie Hunter consoled her with tales of her own broken knee as she massaged Psyche's thighs.  The lesson was interrupted by Sunspot who burst in waving tickets for the Lila Cheney concert on Saturday night.

That Saturday night Wolfsbane was shocked by the appearance of punks in the crowd and they joked about how no-one would notice them if they wore their New Mutants uniforms.  Sunspot took delight in jumping the queue as their tickets allowed them in to watch the sound check (a favour owed to him by the tour promoter).  Side-stage they were all star struck as they watched the band warm up and when Lila appeared in person.  But as she began to passionately rehearse her set the chains on a tower of speakers snapped.  Warlock and Sunspot held back most of the speakers, but the one on the top continued to topple over Lila.  Cannonball used his power to propel him through the air and literally knocked Lila off her feet and away from the falling speaker.  Despite her agent's fury, Lila showed Cannonball how appreciative she was by giving him a huge kiss.  She invited them all to her place for an after-show party, and departed.  Before the concert started Warlock announced that the chains on the speakers had purposefully been severed and Wolfsbane detected an alien scent.  

During the gig, the majority of the New Mutants changed into their uniforms and climbed up into the light rigging above the stage.  There they found the hairy green alien who announced tthat he was a Vrakanin.  It easily deflected and defeated successive attacks from Cannonball, Magik, Warlock and Magma.  Cannonball managed to distract the Vrakanin enough to stop it from shooting Lila, but Lila had a few tricks of her own.  She began to shine and created such a pitch that caused all aliens in the vicinity great pain; both the Vrakanin and Warlock reeled in pain.  The Vrakanin's armour exploded and the creature fell frm the rigging.  Cannonball also fell, and held on to the wooden rigging as Magma failed to pull him up.  As he dangled, Lila created a light-show that made the Vrakanin explode in mid-air.  Her light continued to grow in intensity until she, the band, and Cannonball all disappeared.  The crowd went wild, but the New Mutants were more concerned about Warlock's pain and Cannonball's kidnapping.  Warlock was able to drain the excess energy into the stargate that Lila had used, and triggered a second teleport.  However, after the bright light dissipated, the New Mutants were left floating in empty space.

After Lila's party teleported to her home, she gave Cannonball a kiss and fobbed him off with stories about how she couldn't quite teleport the whole group along too.  She was extremely impressed at how Cannonball instantly realised that  her home was in a gigantic Dyson Sphere in space, something he'd picked up from reading science fiction novels.  She hugged him and nibbled on his ear before telling the rest of her group to change Cannonball into something 'more appropriate'.  Once Cannonball was gone Lila took a message from Charasulla, a Vrakanin leader.  She promised that the sale of Earth would continue as planned.

In space, Psyche awoke with sudden alarm.  She saw the other New Mutants in a web of stasis pods, and heard Warlock's voice; he had transformed himself into a miniature spaceship to save his team-mates.  He informed Psyche that Lila's stargate had reacted to them at the very last moment.  They suspected that it was a tactic to prevent anyone from following her home.  Meanwhile back in the Dyson Sphere, Cannonball felt embarrassed wearing a black leather outfit with chains and stusd attached.  However, his shame was short-lived as she began to seduce him.  However, Lila's drummer Phil Hovannes opened communication with Charasulla to undercut Lila's deal to steal & sell the Earth.

Elsewhere on the Dyson sphere the New Mutants had landed.  Cypher attempted to translate the alien language, but they soon came under attack from Vrakanins on sky-sleds.  Wolfsbane caught Psyche after her legs gave way on her, but they soon fell off the ledge.  Warlock managed to catch the girls, but then all three of them were snagged by a Vrakanin electro-net.  Sunspot was lost as he was unable to steer his stolen sky-sled while Cypher,  Magma & Magik managed to escape unseen.

Warlock, Wolfsbane and Psyche were chained and thrown on their knees in front of Charasulla.  There they saw Cannonball, also chained, and still wearing the black leather rockstar outfit.  Hovannes taunted Lila, but soon received his payment; instant disintergration.  Charasulla went to active the Dyson sphere's teleportation devide to relocate the Earth, but the ground began to shake.  Since there were no tectonic plates on a Dyson sphere, Cannonball wasn't surprised by the volcanic arrival of Magma.  Magik's Soulsword wouldn't harm any living beings, but it scared the Vrakanin soldier long enough for Cypher to tackle him off his feet.  Magik then used a blaster to free Cannonball from his shackles, teasing him about his cute outfit at the same time.  Cannonball then attacked the Vrakanins while Magik freed the others.  Their attack continued with Sunspot's explosive arrival, but they were too late.

Magma's eruption had melted the teleportation controls, so instead of teleporting the Earth to the Dyson sphere it would be completely disintegrated.  Magik considered who she could save back on Earth, but knew that they would have no real life to speak of in Limbo.  Meanwhile, as the light grew increasingly blinding Cypher translated enough of the alien language to disable the teleportation sequence.

The New Mutants demanded an explanation, and Lila admitted that she was an inter-galactic rockstar and thief.  She had intended to steal the Earth and selll everyone on it into slavery.  She promised to leave the Earth alone as she had, technically, been successful if it hadn't been for Hovannes' double-cross.  Lila then used her own mutant power to teleport them all back to her home in London.  As she was only able to teleport across galactic distances, she found it easier to home in on the places she called home.  This meant that the New Mutants had to use the telephone to call the Professor to ask for money & transport home.  

While in Lila's garden, she told Cannonball that she wouldn't have sold him along with the Earth.  She confessed that she really did have romantic feelings for him, which shocked Sunspot who couldn't believe that she would choose Cannonball instead of him.  Sunspot was even more miserable three months later when Lila's next hit called 'Sam' was a huge hit.


Note:  Due to Warlock's inclusion in the team & references to Psyche's leg injuries, the chronology for this story can be placed between New Mutants issues 21 & 22.  It also explains the presence of Cannonball's Lila t-shirt in the New Mutants #24 during the next story-arc.

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Before she was Debbie Gibson, she was Patty Smyth 0

Introducing: Lila Cheney! Before she mellows out and becomes a pop rocker for peaceful human-mutant relations, Lila Cheney is a hard-edged, dog-collar-wearing, planet-stealing thrasher. She is tough as nails, but has a soft spot in her heart for Sam Guthrie (making Rahne only mildly jealous but Roberto extremely jealous), despite the fact she apparently tried to hijack and sell the planet to remorseless aliens, who will undoubtedly be back for recompense. It's a pretty good tale; I'm not sure wh...

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