The Force is not a deity. It has a "will," but its will is more of a natural inclination. It is not a deterministic aspect that can overrule the wills of living beings. If anything, the nature of the Force is more subject to the wills of living beings than vice versa. The light and dark sides of the Force are reflections of the light and dark sides that living beings can adopt by their actions, and its balance can be distorted by living beings as well. The phrase "will of the Force" is just an expression popularized by the Jedi to summarize the Force's natural flow. There are states that the Force is inclined to be in, and because of that, it can be described as possessing a "will." The problem is that the Force itself can't make decisions. It has no capacity for conscious choice or directives of its own accord. As a result, the Force on its own is incapable of satisfying its will. This is why the Force's intermediaries, midi-chlorians, interpret the will of the Force to Force sensitive individuals. Jedi, in particular, are very adamant about adhering to the will of the Force. The Force never forces them to carry out its will; they just submit to it. The reasons for this are tied to the Jedi philosophy regarding respect for life, and since they correctly recognize the correlation between life and the Force, the Jedi consider obeying the will of the Force the primary means to serve life, since the Force very literally is life. But if there were no Force sensitives willing to operate under the guidance of the Force, the Force's will would remain unfulfilled. It's not a property of the Force to circumvent the wills of individuals; if it was, there are countless events in SW history that never would have happened, such as Plagueis and Sidious imbalancing the Force's dual faces. Beyond that, what does the Force need thinking individuals' actions for if it can carry out its own will? Evidently, the Force is not as controlling as has been suggested.
Pertaining to the examples you gave, those are rather flimsy examples. Not enough is known about the Tho Yor yet; so I would be disinclined to attribute that exclusively to the Force. There is not enough information on it; drawing a consensus just seems like an appeal to ignorance. Bane and Zannah winning on Tython was due to fighting better. Qui-Gon's death could be argued in various fashions, but if Qui-Gon did die due to the will of the Force, that hardly substantiates your theory since Maul was the one who actually killed him. Anakin's conception was the will of the Force, but Plagueis and Sidious were the ones who actually caused it to happen. The Vong, maybe, but Sekot was the one who severed them from the Force.
The problem here is that you can't simply attribute an event to the will of the Force and disregard any other circumstance. Anakin's birth is a good example. Was it the will of the Force that Anakin be born? Yes. Why? Because the Force's will is that its light and dark sides be in balance; since the two were not in balance, the Force needed to kill off the Sith who embodied the dark side in order to restore its balance. But the Force itself was unable to do this on its own. It needed someone to act on its behalf. The Force never just up and decided one day to conceive of Anakin. Anakin's conception was a result of Plagueis and Sidious' experimentations with midi-chlorians as they attempted to imbalance the Force through imposing their own will over midi-chlorians and the Force's ethereal balance. To simplify, you could put it like this. Anakin's birth was a result of two parties, the Force and Plagueis and Sidious. The Force is the why of Anakin's birth; Plagueis and Sidious are the how. And this explanation stems to other areas as well. Luke noted once that it was the will of the Force that the Death Star be destroyed, but did the Force itself fire the torpedo that destroyed it? No. Luke had to do that. The universe itself might have consented to the Death Star's destruction, but it still needed a person with the capability to make conscious decisions to meet the inclinations of its will. In a sense, you could say that the Force's will takes occasion by the actions of thinking beings, but the Force's will does not force the actions of thinking beings.
This how and why explanation is part of why Jedi call the Force their "ally." They move as the Force directs them to move, but without them, the Force's influence on the galaxy would be diminished.
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