This Hostage Reader!
The early issues of The Avengers were pretty uneven.
Case in point, the Kirby-less (despite the cover) 'This Hostage Earth!'
Strap yourselves in, we're in for 'A Marvel Tale of most Compelling Excellence!'
It starts with this:
That's right, the ants have called an emergency meeting of the Avengers. Just when were the ants put in charge anyway?
Wasp sensibly decides to ignore a distress call from an anthill, because, of course, she has a hairdresser appointment. Given that she stuffs her hair under a hood with antennae, this seems pretty self-defeating, and a waste of Hank's hard-earned money. So what's he do? Tries to set the bitch straight, but she takes off, so he calls The Avengers anyway.
That's when they all fly, jump and rollerskate at full speed to Avengers HQ.
When they find they've been summoned by ants, they blow Giant Man off, causing him to set off on his own to fail miserably.
But, when the Mansion is attacked by Subterraneans for no good reason, the Avengers eventually come to realize that the ants were right all along!
So, in typical Avengers fashion, they solve things the way they always do - make up some gadget to deal with the problem.
So Cap and Rick Jones go to get the gadget, but we needed something for Rick to do, so there happens to be some thieves stealing (totally unrelated to the Mole Man) who randomly happened to decide this was the day to steal the only gadget that could stop the Mole Man... because, you know, there's such a black market for random gadgets that solve totally unlikely situations.
Where will they deploy the gadget once it's built? Fortunately Thor's hammer has already told them!
Meanwhile, out of nowhere, who should show up on Mole Man's doorstep but the Red Ghost (of course!) because he has no more Super Apes and figured the Mole Man would be the next best replacement (take that how you will).
By the way, did I mention that nobody calls each other by name in this issue? They all refer to each other as, 'Avenger'. 'Hey, Avenger, what do you think of this?' 'I don't know, Avenger, that is strange!' etc. Everyone that is except for Wasp, who everyone refers to as 'Little Lady', except Thor who calls her simply, 'Female'.
So, basically the Red Ghost starts shooting at them with atomic ray beams and what not, he even makes Mole Man and himself insubstantial so the Avengers attacks pass right through them. Clearly the Red Ghost has a bit of a technological edge on Mole Man who instead uses the latest in fly swatter technology - which turns out to be good enough, though as Iron Man effectively 'swats' himself.
Then they have to deal with Mole Man's minions.
And everything wraps up the way the Avengers always wrap things up - by blowing the shit out of the place and laughing about it later.
And there you have it... Most Compelling Excellence!