The feats that never were, but should've been

#1 Edited by Superboy171 (12 posts) - - Show Bio

Over the past few weeks I've found a new way of wasting my time, by looking up the insane/awesome/hilarious feats of strength and fortitude performed by Superman throughout the years. From the Golden Age of comics up to today Superman has been shattering limits and defying the laws of both classical and quantum physics. I've seen him tow planets, move stars by blowing on them, and sneeze out entire solar systems.

Anyway, I was looking through a file of word docs on my hard-drive lastnight and found a .txt with a list of my favorite Chuck Norris facts, such as;

"In the beginning there was nothing.. until Chuck Norris slapped that nothing and told it to get a job."

Immediately I thought of Superman and his feats, and began to wonder about some of the things Superman could have done considering what he did.

Please list anything you think Superman could have or should have been shown doing, eg..

5. Split an atom with his heat vision

4. Compress a planet down to the size of a tennis ball and use it to play fetch with Krypto

3. Slap Satan unconscious

2. Karate-chop God in the neck

1. Fly through the pages of his comic to the last page and shatter the final panels with a punch, thereby avoiding an unwanted ending

#2 Posted by nickzambuto (12669 posts) - - Show Bio

Split an atom with his heat vision

That would be funny. It's like, a random thug is running about, points a gun at Supes, Clark rolls his eyes and shoots some lasers... nuclear explosion destroys all of Metropolis, vaporizing everyone Superman cares about, leaving him all alone... again.

#3 Posted by htb106 (1641 posts) - - Show Bio

Karate-chop God in the neck

that would be epic, but hasn't Chuck Norris already done that?

#4 Edited by Guardiandevil83 (5217 posts) - - Show Bio

Beats Batman even though Bruce is given 20 years prep and tech provided by both Lexcorp and Darkseid's chief scientist.

Rewinds Time, goes to Krypton and saves his planet..but still mysteriously winds up as Superman on earth.

Kills the strongest incarnation of Doomsday..with a thunderclap.

Goes to the Marvel U and beats all of Marvel earth...during their classic incarnations. Then Kill's all the cosmic and abstarct beings, Then goes to the image U, rense and repeat. lol

#5 Posted by YoggSaron (812 posts) - - Show Bio

Eat an entire breakfast buffet in under 0.00129 milliseconds.

#6 Posted by Hunter114 (829 posts) - - Show Bio
  1. Cure cancer
  2. Take on all his rogues and kill them all
  3. Be the last line of defense and fail to save the Earth
  4. Destroy one universe to create another... (though the way DC is going I wouldn't be surprised if they did that)
  5. Fight a Thanagarian snare beast
#7 Edited by Superboy171 (12 posts) - - Show Bio

All fantastic!!! Everyone's suggestions are magnificent. My favorites so far are Gaurdiandevil83's (esp. number 4; I imagine him knocking Galactus and the Living Tribunals heads' together). You're busting me up guys, keep em coming.

#8 Posted by Thorion88 (310 posts) - - Show Bio

To die and stay dead?

#9 Posted by AssertingValor (5377 posts) - - Show Bio

i smell fan-boyism.......

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