If I Were Superman In The DC Universe...

#1 Posted by lorbo (1541 posts) - - Show Bio

1. I would wear a lead suit to keep out the kryptonite radiation and dtich the cape. That way anybody that thought to use that green stuff would find it useless.

2. I would date some superpowered woman, I dunno know who, I got waaay to many choices. The list just goes on and on. Not WW, she's too macho. I would probably go with I dunno...I would say Powergirl or Supergirl but they are my cousins so that would be GROSS. I would likely have to settle for lois or one the New Gods from New Genesis. Too many domimatrixes in the DC universe seriously!

3. I would capture Luthor. I don't care if people don't like it. Then I would ship him off to some alien planet to do slave labor, or at least drop him on a world far away so as not to cause me problems.

4. If any foe tried to kill me I would just end it, period. No punching mind you, I would spam heat vison...BIG time. I would not mess around.

5. I would leave Earth and explore the galaxy, Batman and the JL would be fine without out me for a while. I would only return when they called me. : )

6. Now how about you guys?

#2 Posted by Z3RO180 (6522 posts) - - Show Bio

@lorbo same thing I would do if i had Mjolnir. I would cook bacon with heat vision instead of lightning

#3 Posted by FadeToBlackBolt (23334 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty sure you wouldn't be Superman if you acted like that, you'd just be some tyrannical, misogynistic vigilante with superpowers.

#4 Posted by TheCannon (18624 posts) - - Show Bio

I would:

  • Become a hero for hire.
  • Wear a lead costume (not my idea, but I like the OP's thoughts)
  • Hook up with some other female hero. Too many to choose from. Probably Wonder Woman, but I wouldn't have a problem at all with Power Girl or Supergirl. Big Barda would also be nice.
  • Take Lex Luthor and put him in a prison somewhere where it's impossible for him to escape from. On the moon maybe?
  • Rip the head off of anyone who got in my way.

All I can think of right now.

#5 Posted by BlueLantern1995 (2448 posts) - - Show Bio

I would try to be a image of hope(hey I'm a blue lantern I can't help myself :D). I would also become Earth's champion. I would spend 2 days a week in the sun(only to leave when danger threatened the planet).

I would also travel to other planets taking down there evil leaders. I would also on 1 day every 2 weeks hire myself out as a handyman for the price the average worker would get and make millions of dollars in a day(by using my super speed of course). That way I can buy a place for a mansion to put up superheroes and buy all the stocks for LexCorp(really why hasn't anyone thought of that before?).

That is all I can think of for now.

#6 Posted by zeejaybay (70 posts) - - Show Bio

Just noticing how nu52 Superman's armor glows when he uses heat vision.

#7 Posted by abeyance (238 posts) - - Show Bio

1) Destroy all kryptonite on earth, it gives off a certain radiation. I can heat vision it from a long range and do the same for idle chunks of kryptonite floating in space. (Not wearing some hot lead suit everywhere I go)

2) Since Im faster than a speeding bullet I would become a track star as my civilian career. And slowly dominate all other fields to gain favoritism from people.

3)Go to a woman's soccer team and use X-ray vision on them while they practice. (Would go to Themiscyra but Wonder Woman would try to kill me)

4)I'd use the fortress of solitude as a prison for my rogue gallery with superman robots as guards (so they can see my pretty face everyday for trying to kill me)

5)I'd discretely disarm all the nukes in the world while they are still in their missile silo. That way countries still think they have them and won't be quick to go to war.

6)I'd force all soldiers and terrorist to stop fighting. And put all the leaders giving order on the battlefield since they want minions killing each other so bad.

7)Push the world of Apokolips into the nearest star

8)Stop petty crime when I'm in the mood

9)Get drunk at a bar as a civilian and fly around the building saying the alcohol gave me flight powers and people should try it. Then laugh as drunk people jump up expecting to fly just to fall on their faces.

10)Cause a tornado at the home of every ex-girlfriend except one

11)Bring a toilet to the side of a plane and go there right on one of the wings

12)Use super voice to make it seem like the president is farting at every conference addressing the country

13)Go to every drug house to shut them down so I can steal their products for myself and dance away ganam style

14)falcon punch justin beiber while dressed as batman

15)flirt with Alicia Keys

16)Carve 'Money grows on tree here' on saturn to mess with astronomers that star gaze

17)Draw moustaches on all the faces of the 'Source Wall'

18)Grow my hair out, put on a robe then go walk on water in Jerusalem, then let myself fall in the water and appear to drown after enough people gather around

19)Gather a bunch of birds and lead them into the batcave after batman gets through washing the batmobile

20)Go bathing in the sun to super charge my powers at the end of every day

#8 Posted by Kairan1979 (16745 posts) - - Show Bio

3. I would capture Luthor. I don't care if people don't like it. Then I would ship him off to some alien planet to do slave labor, or at least drop him on a world far away so as not to cause me problems.

Bad move. He'll return stronger than he was and equipped with alien technology. That's Lex Luthor we are talking about.
#9 Posted by GodDamnIronMan (1553 posts) - - Show Bio

@lorbo:

3. I would capture Luthor. I don't care if people don't like it. Then I would ship him off to some alien planet to do slave labor, or at least drop him on a world far away so as not to cause me problems.

Ehh....the thing is, Lex doesn't has any superpowers, the only power he's got is his Superhuman Intelligence. Which means, he would somehow know what you're up to, and he will kills you 1st. Cool thread though.

#10 Edited by lorbo (1541 posts) - - Show Bio

@Kairan1979 said:

3. I would capture Luthor. I don't care if people don't like it. Then I would ship him off to some alien planet to do slave labor, or at least drop him on a world far away so as not to cause me problems.

Bad move. He'll return stronger than he was and equipped with alien technology. That's Lex Luthor we are talking about.

@GodDamnIronMan said:

@lorbo:

3. I would capture Luthor. I don't care if people don't like it. Then I would ship him off to some alien planet to do slave labor, or at least drop him on a world far away so as not to cause me problems.

Ehh....the thing is, Lex doesn't has any superpowers, the only power he's got is his Superhuman Intelligence. Which means, he would somehow know what you're up to, and he will kills you 1st. Cool thread though.

Nah, Supes goes easy on Lex, the only reason Lex ever stands a chance is because Supes allows him to. Supes rarely ever goes all out. If he did no one could even punch him. Faster than a speeding bullet? Yeah right...he can but hardly EVER does.

No if I was behind the wheel Lex would be in his office talking about how he was gonna own me with his goons and there would be a whoosh of air. Then he would hear, "Ahem...you were saying?" I would be standing behind him wearing an armored lead suit and be holding a gun to boot.

If he was actually crafty enough to use a weapon to destroy my suit he would be a dead man. Heat vision for the win.

I would try to be kind to Luthor but if he tries to kill me when I have the upper hand I won't be nice at ALL.

#11 Posted by CrimsonCake (2677 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd probably act the same way he does with a few exceptions.

#12 Posted by Xorion (446 posts) - - Show Bio

Firstly I am not a good choice to be given those powers. I would never be like him. A sneak peek for what would happen?

  • I would brutally kill some bad guys in front of cameras. So that everyone would see what happens when you cross the line
  • I wouldn't be on duty all the time. I would only get in big problems. Also I wouldn't help only one country to avoid looking like a weapon or savior of a country.
  • I would probably wear a mask because I wouldn't act like clark when I'm off-duty
  • Time to time I would show myself on screens so that people would be aware of the fact that I'm not gonna show mercy to bad guys.
  • As seen I wouldn't become a savior and hope of mankind. I would rather be fear of bad guys
  • Lex Luthor may not be my enemy cause I am not the great man everyone looks up to but if he would and still making himself like a good person he would be found dead in his bed with no evidence. For a guy who can run faster than a bullet it wouldn't be so hard
  • Other than that I would be just me and do whatever I like. Having breakfast at paris and launch at italy ^^
#13 Posted by RideASpaceCowboy (527 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd be a scientist and inventor like my father, Jor-El. There's plenty of Kyptonian technology that would improve the lives of human beings, perhaps even more so than mere heroics. I'd explain Quantum Gravity and the Theory of Everything; I'd usher in the Singularity in the safest and most beneficial manner possible.

With the billions of dollars I make on my patents I would then also become the greatest philanthropist in human history.

Additionally I'd be a philosopher, building on hundreds of thousands of years of Kryptionian ethics and metaphysics to bring moral development and existential meaning to human lives.

Finally, I'd adopt a costumed hero persona, albeit one who is a vocal activist for worthy causes in addition to saving lives and fighting villains.

#14 Edited by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (6482 posts) - - Show Bio

1) I would wear a costume that looks like Ghost Rider meets Hank Henshaw...Kind of like a demonic, skull faced, terrifying cyborg formula thing.

2) I would try to date Poison Ivy or Harley Quinn if Ivy doesn't work out

3) I would kill and torture bad guys with my heat vision and publicly televise it

4) I would steal from big billionaires like Lex Luthor to give to the impoverished and less fortunate

5) I would try desperatley to make the Sinestro Corps

#15 Posted by Kazuma_Bushi (815 posts) - - Show Bio

1.) I'd be Superman all the time. I would not have a civilian identity; I don't see the point.

2.) I'd use my super powers to benefit myself. With all of Superman's abilities he should easily be one of, if not the richest people on the planet.

3.) I'd spread my genes across the DC Universe. I'd have several super powered baby mama's....I have a long list for Supes lol

#16 Posted by PapiNacho (2403 posts) - - Show Bio

Wowzie, lot's of Zod's here not a lot of Supermen.

Online
#17 Posted by Bruxae (13821 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd destroy humanity.

#18 Posted by Kazuma_Bushi (815 posts) - - Show Bio

@bruxae said:

I'd destroy humanity.

:O

#19 Posted by TrueKing95 (730 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd be a superb athletes and get paid millions for while at the same time be an inventor who makes billions. I would wear a mask whenever I really used my powers to keep my identity secret. Last but not least, I would just be a dick to some people. If you bumped into me on the street I would probably burn down your house and have sex with your gf in front of you.

#20 Posted by CairoV (242 posts) - - Show Bio

Take over the Earth with Batman as my sidekick, make all the other heroes power the earth with their superpowers, if they refuse I'll kill them.

Kill all super villains, no time for games and also change the costume.

#21 Posted by JonSmith (3996 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd be more Blur than Superman: Dealing with problems at superspeed or heat vision. Making it look like coincidence when possible, such as saving people from a fire by collapsing parts of the building at superspeed to protect them from the flames, while simultaneously herding them out. I'd also sleep inside the sun for power boosts. And yeah, like everyone else says, I'd use my enhanced/x-ray vision to locate every shard of kryptonite on the planet and destroy it with heat vision.

As for Luthor... When he figures out I'm out there, he'll no doubt try to attack me. When he does, I'll retrieve his companies more private and potentially controversial records and release them to the public, Wikileaks style. I COULD kill him, but that would make me more enemies than Luthor alone. I COULD wait for him to send people after me, and expose him that way, but he'll cover his tracks. By exposing him like that, yeah, he'll cover his a** by saying it's not real, it's not legit, his signature was forged, it's doctored, etc. But everyone will know. No one will trust him. His government contracts will dry up since they can no longer trust his security to keep their secrets.

I'll be hitting Lex Luthor where it really hurts: Not the public image, that can be repaired. Not physically, that'll hurt me more than him. But in the bottom line, the profit margin. Don't kill him, ruin him.

I'd also probably hang out predominantly in the Fortress rather than going out and having a life outside of superhero stuff. I'm not fond of people when they're the same species as me, much less when they're not.

#22 Posted by Saint_Wildcard (10479 posts) - - Show Bio

Just chillax most of the time. Train from time to time.

Online
#23 Posted by SanoHibiki (1521 posts) - - Show Bio

There is nothing wrong with some quality do-gooding, so mostly I will probably save lives as Superman doing, but my approach will be different, that’s for sure.

Authors seldom make use of Supes’ intellectual capabilities plus I think that his main problem in that regard is the lack of interest for it (he is journalist, author, more of peacemaker for that). I would like to test what superbrain could offer to me, so I would concentrate on alien tech (what can I say, guys love high-tech toys)

Following that, I would make titanium-lead lined costume from SM/BM and spend some time destroying every piece of Kryptonite that fall to Earth.

Then, I think, a trip to Thanagar in an order – to get some amount of ninth metal and lace uniform with it (some resistance to magic never hurts).

I wouldn’t concentrate on a single city (sorry, Metropolis) and would fly around the world and while that save people. Villains wouldn’t be able cause too much destruction if they intercept me in inhabitant area and maybe it would “out of sight – out of mind” with Lex.

If I would need some money, well, I would be able to sell some alien technology to Wayne or Queen’ Industries – to give them an edge over Losercorp and some profit for me.

#24 Edited by SanoHibiki (1521 posts) - - Show Bio

@kairan1979 said:

3. I would capture Luthor. I don't care if people don't like it. Then I would ship him off to some alien planet to do slave labor, or at least drop him on a world far away so as not to cause me problems.

Bad move. He'll return stronger than he was and equipped with alien technology. That's Lex Luthor we are talking about.

That’s not that bad idea. I would like to leave Lex to tender care of Granny Goddess.

#25 Edited by Black_Arrow (3117 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd be a scientist and inventor like my father, Jor-El. There's plenty of Kyptonian technology that would improve the lives of human beings, perhaps even more so than mere heroics. I'd explain Quantum Gravity and the Theory of Everything; I'd usher in the Singularity in the safest and most beneficial manner possible.

With the billions of dollars I make on my patents I would then also become the greatest philanthropist in human history.

Additionally I'd be a philosopher, building on hundreds of thousands of years of Kryptionian ethics and metaphysics to bring moral development and existential meaning to human lives.

Finally, I'd adopt a costumed hero persona, albeit one who is a vocal activist for worthy causes in addition to saving lives and fighting villains.

This. I would probably donate all the money (except some money that I may need to maintain the JL and continue my scientific work). In the end I would be a Super hero but more in the sense of the Fantastic Four. I mean, I would travel around the galaxy knowing more alien races and their technology. And I would come back to Earth to share my knowledge.

#26 Posted by W3BST3R (287 posts) - - Show Bio

Everyone here has really good ideas. I'd use heat vision to explode any Hummer I see on sight. 2014 and you drive a gas guzzler? Not on my watch. Of course I could just go work at a Tessla factory, using super speed to build electric cars for replacements for the people of earth. Definitely put an end to all wars just like Injustice. Don't want to stop fighting? Have fun as I fly you into the atmosphere and then watch you burn to ash upon re-entry. Go find those missing girls in Africa and then throw those terrorist SOB's into the middle of the ocean. I'd rip off the leader's arms and beat him to death with them. He's lucky that's the worst I can come up with. Expose the US government to the public, start a revolution, make a new government. End poverty and world hunger with my super intelligence. Create a utopian earth society. Fry any die-hard racists with heat vision, some people can change. If you want to remain ignorant, goodbye. I'd basically change the entire world in less than a year. Education reform. Try to better the human race in any way possible.

#27 Posted by ArchiZoom (1124 posts) - - Show Bio

If I were Wonder Woman I would first strangle Superman with my lasso and conquer the world, topple governments and rule the people benevolently.

#28 Posted by SanoHibiki (1521 posts) - - Show Bio

What we have here, in the end - it’s a good thing that no one (well, mostly no one) of us ever would be Superman (or in some cases Wonder Woman).

#29 Posted by buttersdaman000 (9715 posts) - - Show Bio

I would explore the universe

#30 Posted by W3BST3R (287 posts) - - Show Bio
#31 Posted by SanoHibiki (1521 posts) - - Show Bio

@w3bst3r said:

Hey, I'm pretty reasonable.

I'd use heat vision to explode any Hummer I see on sight.

Definitely put an end to all wars just like Injustice. Don't want to stop fighting? Have fun as I fly you into the atmosphere and then watch you burn to ash upon re-entry.

I'd rip off the leader's arms and beat him to death with them.

End poverty and world hunger with my super intelligence. Create a utopian earth society. Fry any die-hard racists with heat vision,

Really? :)

You know what said about good intentions and where they would lead you?.. Most likely we all would end like Injustice Superman.

#32 Posted by PapiNacho (2403 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd use my powers to become Batman and then surprise everyone with how "super competent" I am.

Online
#33 Posted by W3BST3R (287 posts) - - Show Bio

@sanohibiki: Lmao okay, I am kind of unreasonable. I guess that's why humans aren't blessed with super powers. But it's be so hard to restrain yourself from just vaporizing a terrorist leader with a punch. I honestly don't know how Supes does it or how he'll do it in MOS2.

#34 Posted by SanoHibiki (1521 posts) - - Show Bio

@w3bst3r:

it's be so hard to restrain yourself from just vaporizing a terrorist leader with a punch. I honestly don't know how Supes does it

And that’s why he is real Superman and not us.

how he'll do it in MOS2

Probably got that (in)famous mental block against killing (for shame, really, because I prefer to explain “no-killing policy” differently than some psychological trauma).

#35 Posted by W3BST3R (287 posts) - - Show Bio

@sanohibiki: True. I momentarily forgot about the sonic-boom neck snap. I hope Supes finds a way to deal with terrorists if he has to encounter one in MOS2 the way he did in Earth One, Vol. 2

#36 Edited by drgnx (3564 posts) - - Show Bio
I'd be doing this too :)

#37 Posted by Cloakx14 (2993 posts) - - Show Bio

1. if i were Superman i'd were regular clothing no suit would look stupid in the real world and make so i don't standout among people.

2. i would use my superbrain and abilities to make myself rich. I would save people everyday as much as i could

3. i would only date & marry PowerGirl.

4. get rid of all the kryptonite on earth

5. Get rid of Lex Luthor throw him out in space or lombotize him

#38 Posted by Valdemocnij (545 posts) - - Show Bio

Kill all villains which can, to make earth peaceful place... :) Maybe with that will don't be superhero... but will be hero :)

#39 Edited by ilikedonuts (2222 posts) - - Show Bio

I would go ahead'n smash all 'a ma enemies. Startin' with Luthor.

This edit will also create new pages on Comic Vine for:

Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

Comment and Save

Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Comic Vine users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.