Suicide Squad #14

I had so much fun reviewing Occupy Hell,

That I decided to rhyme in this review as well.

No particular reason, I just thought it’d be fun,

And God knows, I’ll need some help with this one

I haven’t been following this, and I’ll tell you why.

I simply can’t bear to watch Harley Quinn die.

What’s that you say? Harley Quinn still breathes?

If that’s Harley Quinn then I’m Keanu Reeves.

I love Harley Quinn ‘cause she’s in love with The Joker,

Not because she’ll screw any schmuck who will poke her.

And, Oh God, That costume, what is the deal?

It’s not like the old one didn’t have sex appeal.

The old costume’s a classic, and sexy taboot,

So why is she wearing an S&M suit?

I’m ranting I know, I don’t mean to do this.

I’ll complain more later, after I review this.

We start in a graveyard, I guess Deadshot is dead.

He slept with Knockout again didn’t he. Dude, Scandal meant what she said-

About removing your balls to wear on her ears,

You don’t mess with that psycho, wait… why’s Harley in tears?

Hold up… they were sleeping together, that seems so… wrong.

Especially since she’s been pining for Joker so long.

It’s not long before green rain starts a' falling

Everyone else passes out, and Joker comes calling.

“Honey, I’m Home.” Says the Clown Prince of Crime.

Then he just punches her… I can’t think of a rhyme.

I’m sure the Joker ain’t the most caring beau,

But this is getting downright uncomfortable, you know.

I was gonna to side with Joker, rip on the costume for kicks,

But I can’t, abuse to women just makes me sick.

Credit where it’s due, this scene is well made

You see the monster J is, and want to see Harley saved.

Despite that though, I still feel a bit surly,

Because this doesn’t feel like Joker and Harley

Sure he treated her badly but I was prepared,

To believe that there was a small part of him that cared.

It’s part of why I love Harley so much,

She’s proof that love is able to touch-

Even a monster like ol’ Mr. J

But that notion doesn’t seem to be present today.

Joker threatens to kill a member of the Squad,

And remarks that Boomerang is a little bit odd.

Coming from the Joker that’s quite a tout,

It takes a quite lot to creep Joker out.

He goes after Floyd’s body, for some sick twisted fun,

And then Harley threatens her boss with a gun.

But Joker just laughs. He knows she won’t trigger.

I’m sorry, I’m still wondering what’s so sick about Digger!

As for the rest of the story, there isn’t much to it

I don’t think I can accurately review it.

It’s about the real story, and I’m in the dark.

Though I’ll admit, I liked the part with King Shark.

We end with Harley showing up on the scene,

And I know where this is going, I read Batman Thirteen.

What Works:

The artwork is nice, The Joker looks creepy,

Thinking about that face will haunt me when I’m sleepy.

What Doesn’t:

I complained quite a bit and that was unfair,

But when it comes to this series I really don’t care.

I don’t know these characters, the guys or the chicks,

All I know is I’d much rather read Secret Six.

And as for “Harley,” don’t get me started.

Suffice to say the Harley I love has departed.

Overall:

3/5

This issue’s not awful, despite my complaints,

But is it something I’d pick up again, no it ain’t

If you like this series, then this is not an attack,

I just won’t pick it up, until my Harley comes back.