I'm tired of seeing writers who just flat out don't understand what the whole point of Spider-man is (looking at you One More Day, Sins Past, Clone Saga, etc.) I'm here to explain what you people (the writers) need to understand about our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man.

Don't make Spider-man's life a living Hell. I honestly can't stress this enough. Making Spider-man's life a Spanish novela is absolutely pointless. It doesn't make Spider-man grow as a character, all it does it prevent him from doing so. If anything, it'll just give him some serious psychological problems. It doesn't even allow us to take Spider-man seriously if he's always moping and crying about everything, which brings me to my next point...

Don't make Spider-man a total joke, the man is how old? Oh yeah, 28. You can make Spider-man funny, just don't overdo it. For example, in Marvel NOW, Spider-man was fighting these villains and one of them had the power to unravel your clothes and this happened:

This is probably not a good way to bring back your friendly neighborhood Spider-man back after being abused for a year by a 60 year old man who gets his kicks from young people.

Spider-man is a character who should be allowed to have both his high points and his low points, not to be a nervous train wreck. He should be someone we can relate to and cheer on when he accomplishes something great! Not only that, but he should grow and flourish. When he has a wife, don't just retcon it, keep going with it. Let him start a family, let him be happy, like we want him to be.

In-universe of in real life, poor Spidey can't seem to get any respect

*comment reserved*

As someone who loved the marriage I wasn't as upset when they undid it. Just upset how they did it. For me Spider-Man shouldn't get too old and should be perceived as a young character.

@symbioticspider-man: I'm going to edit it once I have time to read your blog!!!

gawd...

@ccraft:

Nice.

*comment reserved cuz I hate you*

@symbioticspider-man:

good blog HOLLA HOLLA

~MiB

Good blog

@dernman: @amazingwebhead: @ms-lola: @thor_parker82: @madeinbangladesh: Thanks for reading, guys!

@ccraft: And for you...

Let this sink in... the semblance is uncanny!

LET IT SINK YOU B@STARD!

@symbioticspider-man: you're welcome

don't be to hard on ccraft, he can't help being a wackjob

@symbioticspider-man: you sob, I ought to teach you a lesson.

@amazingwebhead Thanks for the kind words websy <3

@ccraft: you're welcome :)

I think the best writer for Spiderman have been Stan Lee.Now that the fan wanking is out of the way. I would say Peter David. I love Spidey Peter David run, the humor, the cleverness, the zaniest of it all just WORKS. Then he go home at the end of the day to M.J and we all know what happens there....then the fucked it all up with Scarlet Spider clone CRAP. To this day...WTF. Like. Seriously. Anywho. Spiderman should be written as a bad ass who doing bad ass things without knowing he's doing bad ass things.

Example: Trouble on 5th and 6th. Shows up. Oh crap! Is that... fucking ULTRON?! You do the math with the battle scene, gratuitous action scene. Saving people. Spiderman getting wreck. Not sure what to do. Pulls a victory out of his ass at the 11th hour. Lean against the defeated Ultron panting and gasping for air. Avengers shows up. Spidey goes ."Thank god you guys are here!" And think that the Avengers that shows up would have been able to take care of Ultron with little to no problem.

While the Avengers and by virtue, the audience, would feel awe that "HOLY SHIT! Did Spidey just solo Ultron?!"

Then of course to make it funny, he should get up, wobble, then passed out. Always having just enough juice to get the job done and no more after that when the danger have passed.

To me that's how Spiderman should work. Being able to take on bigger bads while feeling that "Whoa, so many people would have been able to do it better, like cap, or iron man, or thor, or..." Self doubt yes , but his positive traits and view should always come from his supporting casts.

Just saying.

Good blog

I agree

I agree with you statement here.

@deathpoolthet1000: (steals GIFs)

La maldita lisiada stole mah gifs!!!

I like how the guy fell from just one slap in the face.

@deathpoolthet1000: I am crying, that is too freaking hilarious!

@symbioticspider-man: Actually some of the thing going on show, she and others had satanic powers, that would explain how she did this.

They point she had the devil inside of her, also she work with some type of witch.

She should be in The Constantine Show and the HellBlazer comics.

She survive that if i remember well.

She was like The Green Goblin or something.

This. Great post! :)

Stan was the best SpiderMan writer. Give him storylines on the street level, keep him human while making him a Heroe. That is the Spidey we all love.

Bring back Tombstone and Kingpin. Team him up with DD and Punisher again.

Stan still gets Peter right. His newspaper comics are fun, flashy, exciting, and he gives Peter and MJ's married life real stability

No. Please no. Please don't erase all his development and nerf him to the ground again. Spidey is a guy who can hold his own with gods, as well as being one of the smartest people in the MU. He should have more stories on a larger scale, such as Spider Verse, Grim Hunt, The Other, New Ways to Die or Spider Island.

And Tombstone, Kingpin, DD and Punisher are waaaaay to weak for a powerhouse like Spidey.

I agree with your choice of "Grim Hunt" & "The Other". Couldn't care less for the other slop though. Spider-Man stories operate well on both the larger scale and the more grounded in reality platforms. It has nothing to do with erasing all his development. In fact it has everything to do with reclaiming a very strong element of his character that has been ignored for far too long.

Yes. I think he does work well on both - but the way tbemrmcoy said it was making it seem that Spidey should only be grounded, which would be horrible. I think maybe 70% of his stories should be on the grander scale, with the occasional grounded street level story, such as the upcoming one in ASM #16.1.

I would prefer it to be the other way around which is actually more or less how it used to be, but I would settle for a 50/50 split. :-)

Sure, I guess 50/50 is fine too. :)

Thank you. I'm with you Spidey needs to be better taken care of because the way Marvel has handled him lately is terrible. He's constantly shown as incompetent and is outshined in his own book. I for one am sick of that. The forced love interests don't help things either.

Spidey just needs to be more badass and tougher.

@symbioticspider-man: Thank you for your posted, I been feeling like more or less. I'm sick of half ass writing and production that Spidey has been getting lately.

Yeah, who gives a crap about an enjoyable story. We want FEATS dammit! Spider-Man CAN defeat Batman and I won't rest until you all believe me!1!!1!

Spidey should not have problems with batman level opponents and look stupid, period. It's a disservice to the character and takes from his superpowered aspects and capabilities. He's a Superhero for crying out loud, writers write him like an incompetent fool to all sorts of peak human superbeings like Steve Rogers, Logan, Matt Murdock, every shield operative, and most of the fucking crime lords he fights because writers mistake being incompetence for being grounded. And it's just sad Peter up until slot had so much arbitary shit he couldn't handle both in life and as a hero, never making the most out of his potential or his abilities. Winging it barely, scratching the service and just making small victories is okay for balanced quantities for Spider-Man, but it shouldn't be the foundation of the character. It also makes him inconsistent, he can beat up heralds and make shit reed Richards style, but he can't stomp on Captain America, stop the chameleon, or keep a job as a teacher for either science or even a scientist. And before you say, that's just how relatable that makes him, and I say stop being retarded, that's not reliability that's sheer ineptitude and carelessness. And this guy Is supposed to be the trademark idealistic underdog whos idealism is supposed to help children both in universe and out. Cap doesn't have anything that measures up to that.

And another thing, stop making Spidey(Whenever he mocks humself) a fucking wussbag punchline(his own jokes to himself) to heroines(or any attractive woman) and stronger opponents, make him like Stan the Man made him, a extremely cocky and unflappable comedian that is virtually untouchable and self assured about what to do before he battles also a bit of a flirt but immature smooth talker like again Stan made him. I can easily tell now that writers like using as a stereotypical wimpy nerd to express his witty taunts plus each of his one liners is laced with self doubt and stuff that feels he's not a real superhero but like Dave "Kickass" Livewski a fanboy wannabe out of his league and there to comment on shit trying to convince himself he's funny and badass to the others.... when in reality he's just a bich made loser which is why I don't like Slott for this. Spidey being more assertive like in Big Time, Back in Black and End of the Earth is the kinda spidey I want.

I agree with not making Peter's life a total downer. Sometimes the problems he faces hits too close to home and it makes it hard for me to read any of it without being reminded of my own problems. However, I disagree on the humor. I like it when there is a lot of humor because laughing lets me forget everything else. I think that is why I gravitate towards the writer runs of JMS and Dan Slott.

I don't mean to take away his humor, I mean to tone it down. Don't make him a child.

The humor of Slott's writing is for the utterly juvenile. It is'nt becoming of Spider-Man at all. My advice is to read better stuff (at least you seem to like JMS, so your tastes obviously are not that rotten, but anyone who supports Slott loses credibility points with me)

I think Spider-man is fine as is.

He was never really written to be a super serious character like Batman. He has always been a guys who likes to joke around, and gets humiliated and makes people laugh that has always been his appeal as a character and I see no reason to change him up.

But's he's not Deadpool, who's concept is just sheer comedy and wackiness. Spiderman used to be badass for his type of class of hero. The guy who got into a fight with both the xmen and the avengers and won.

I've always thought of Spider-man as a funny some what goofy character. No one except maybe comic vine cares about trying to make him some super serious bad ass that he is not written to be like.

I personally wouldn't care for Marvel trying to write Spider-man to be stronger and take on groups of other heroes like the avengers and stuff. The guy is good as is he is made to be funny, make jokes ,and have some tongue and cheek humor sometimes like the example posted.

@zarius: To each his own. However, what story or writer would you consider the best example of Spidey's humor?