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Marge is cleaning house and everything must go... on sale on the Internet! But as all the Simpsons' worldly possessions and fond memories go out the door, it becomes apparent that only one person is buying the buried treasures… one person who might bring about the end of the Simpsons family forever!

Marge is up in the attic cleaning when she finds herself under a toppled pile of TV Guides. When Homer gets home, she demands that he gets rid of his old issues. Homer doesn't want to part with them but Marge says it's either the TV Guides or his Beer Can Sculpture (of Duff the Magic Dragon). Later Marge is disappointed when the garbage man says he can't take the TV Guides because they're recyclable. When she takes them to the recycling, she's told that they can only accept a pound of paper per person per week. When they're sitting in the driveway, Snake says he'd steal them but his parole officer is sitting there reading them.

Saddened that they seem to be stuck with the TV Guides, Lisa suggests to her that they sell them on Ebuy. Marge doesn't think anyone would want to buy them. Lisa puts them on and they are surprised that several people are interested. The winning bid of $1000 dollars is made from "regretful_known@krustyco.org."

After sending them off, Marge decides to do some laundry. Walking down the stairs, she trips over a box containing Bart's old video games that she told him to get rid off. That gives her an idea, she sells the games online. Looking around the basement, Marge sees old clothes that no one wears, toys that Bart and Lisa don't play with, and other items. Marge goes on a selling spree. When Homer gets home from work, he finds that everything inside the house has been sold. He deals with it okay until he discovers that his beer, couch, and tv have also been sold.

The Simpsons have no choice but to stay with Grampa. He suggests they use the money from the auctions to buy new clothes and furniture. Marge says she would but can't figure out how to get her winnings from her Buybuddy account. In the hallway, Lisa notices that Homer has been quiet through all of this. Homer says he's used to always being the one that screws up. He doesn't know what to do when Marge is the one that screws up. Lisa tells Homer to pretend it's Opposite Day. Lisa and Bart go to the library so she can look something up. They soon discover that Homer went there also. Since it's "Opposite Day," he is now Professor Homer Simpson P.H.N.Y.P.D.

Lisa tracked down the person that bid on all of their furniture. They drive to Shelbyville and discover that the house at the address looks identical to their own. When they walk up and ring the bell, the door is answered by Artie Ziff. Homer is relieved to be reunited with his beer and television. Artie explains how he regained his fortune after going to jail for cooperate crimes. It turns out he was released early for ratting out the other CEOs for the crimes that they have commited. Soon other CEOs were paying off in order for Artie to keep their secrets. Even though he was rich, Homer Simpson still had the life he wanted. When he saw that Marge was selling all her possessions, he had a house built exactly like the Simpsons house. He even hired the local community theatre actors to pose as the Simpsons' friends and neighbors.

Homer begins to get upset. Artie challenges Homer and he accepts before Artie can offer the full challenge. If Homer wins the quiz about his family, they can have their stuff back. If Artie wins, he wants a date with Marge. She says no so Artie settles for a date with Patty. Homer cannot answer the questions and it appears that Artie is going to win. Homer starts to feel bad until Lisa says she has the most important question about their family. Artie agrees to a all or nothing question. The question she asks Artie is, "What does it feel like to be part of the Simpson family?" Artie cannot answer. When Homer is asked, he replies, "It feels like home."

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