X35

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X35's Top 5 Thunderbolt Characters Wishlist

Blah blah blah. Continuing Thunderbolts-themed blogs. Here's 5 characters who are better choices for any Thunderbolts team than those big name losers that worthless writer Daniel Way thinks people want to read about and idiots do read about because the misleading covers look "badass".

5. Tiger Shark

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I can't profess to know all that much about Tiger Shark. All I've really read of him has cast him in interchangeable generic villain roles but I've always seen him as having enormous potential as a Thunderbolt. As a former Master of Evil, a badass tank with huge teeth and apparently once in an Aquatic-based superhero team, Tiger Shark is a character who I just think would work on the Thunderbolts the same way characters like Radioactive Man, Boomerang or Atlas have worked. In fact, he's worked alongside almost every one of those characters.

4. Constrictor

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Once upon a time there was a comic book called The Initiative. It was really good. It starred an enormous ensemble cast of C-listers as they became superheroes, or in some cases didn't, and one of the runaway stars was without a doubt Constrictor. He had registered and was pursuing a more honest career as a hero at the behest of Nighthawk, driven initially by a desire for glory and then a need to impress his girlfriend but along the way he seemed happy in the role. It just really worked. The Initiative was cancelled and now Constrictor is back to being a background villain rarely even given lines. I can think of something better for him to do...

3. Daken

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Marvel wanted us to love Daken. They give Wolverine's mopey son an enormous push and then when they found out he couldn't hold his own book, they decided to kill him. And then let Rick Remender bring him back again to kill him again because Rick Remender likes to think he can do everything better than everyone else. This is how Marvel treats characters they don't know what to do with. Better solution? Thunderbolts. As his solo book showed time and time again, Daken is a loathsome guy but he can and will do some good when he deems it necessary. He'd likely be the guy who hates his team-mates and is likewise hated by them, but would in a rare 5% of the time moment show some good. I'm sure working with them would be more appealing to him than being drowned in a puddle anyway.

2. Sandman

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I'm fed up of mentioning Sandman in blogs. Sandman was one of the "first Thunderbolts". He was maybe even the first major Marvel villain to truly reform 100%. We all know he became an Avenger for a while but then John Byrne and Howard Mackie were given the reins to Spider-Man books and set everything back to the status quo. Sandman was brain-washed into being a villain again and revealed as Norman Osborn's cousin because they had the same hair. Both those are true facts. The character is now without character and just a dumb brute with constantly understated powers. God knows why someone hasn't come along and said "This is ridiculous, this character's motivation is he's brain-washed", undone it and then put him on the premier team of reform.

1. Diamondback

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If you like Sharon Carter over Diamondback, you are a broken person. Diamondback is a character unlike Sharon Carter because she has character. She's another character who fits the criteria of being a Thunderbolt-before-it-was-a-thing. She's stayed on the straight and narrow but has a tough time staying relevant since one of Marvel's top editors dislikes the character and the hack of a former Captain America "visionary" says he hates anything from Gruenwald's run because he didn't want people to notice all he did was rip it off and personally called me stupid for liking characters with "lame names". Diamondback was, in fact, planned to be on New Thunderbolts until a certain idiot abused his power as editor to stop it from ever happening and presumably the role fell to Joystick instead which obviously evolved into a very different direction. But, yes, Diamondback should be a Thunderbolt, be best friends with Songbird and they should share hair dye and not only appear in comics so hack writers can put her in a coma to please their incompetent fat editors.

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