If I was writing: the Suicide Squad

I’d like to point out once more that this is pure fantasy. I perfectly knew that 3/4 of my ideas would probably never past editorial. This, more than ever: I’d turn the Suicide Squad into a Reality Show. While always fun to watch, read and write, the concept of “supervillains working for the government” can be at this point tired and unimaginative. Let’s spin it around more, let’s make it more fun, controversial and offensive.

Supervillains in Television

“Suicide Squad” is the name a big private TV gives to his new prime time television program. Thanks to an accord with the government, they can follow with cameras a team of small-time supervillains who volunteered to work for the White House in a number of different missions in exchange for prison time. They’re blood stream is filled with nanobots that keep them in check and some instance, limit their powers. But of course, missions that the government is willing to show on TV aren’t exactly what a program called “Suicide Squad” is all about. So, the real villains of this piece become the producers, who are willing to do anything for the audience share. Causing violent incidents, endangering the life of innocents, enroll assassins and other supervillains to attack and confront the Squad members while they’re on another mission.

And of course, guest stars. Ever wanted to see Giganta being interviewed by Dr. Phil?


A big problem with gaining new readers is the fact that most people don’t like to jump on a book when, say, 15-20 issues already are out. There’s an easy solution to this. To keep the feel of the book fresh, maintain constant jumping on points for new readers and avoid renumbering and constant relaunches, instead of a long running series based around the same group of characters I’d subdivide the book in seasons.

24 issues/2 years of stories=a season. Fast paced 3-4 issue story arcs revolving around a cast of 6 characters. After that, we introduce the new cast and from there, a new season. Just like a reality TV, the characters change as the show progresses, and we have character work mostly during the missions. Like a reality show, “fillers” are removed. What we see is only what the audience wants to see: action and character drama. Also, we dwell deeper in the characters relationships through a confessional in which they speak to a “camera”. Of course, I hate “talking heads” issues like any other reader, so this last narrative device is to be use with judgment and only with specific characters.

Superhero of the Month & Returns

More or less with each mission, rotating superheroes join the team. They’re chosen by the government to keep on check the villains, and they offer humorous batter with them. Also, a new season doesn’t exactly mean a complete reboot of the show. “Fan favorite” the most important characters of previous seasons, come back from time to time in the book. Superheroes play an important role in the story. The Justice Leagues finds this program unacceptable and find themselves in conflict with the Suicide Squad while trying to shut it down. A controversy arise, whatever of not the Leaguers are just afraid of losing fans.

General Feel

Take John Zucker, add a sprinkle of John Waters, and three tons of Michael Bay. When you hear a title like “Suicide Squad” you imagine something ultraviolent and insane and that’s what I’m looking after. Demented villains, absurd characters, situation at the limits of impossible, an highly satirical tone, huge use of Black Humor, violence so exasperated that becomes laughable. This book isn’t realistic and shouldn’t be realistic. It’s not a “What if in real life, supervillains took part in reality shows?” No! This is comic book, this is fiction, this concept is absurd and nobody in their right minds would accept armed supervillains being put on national TV. That is the entire point: a book merciless, pushed to the limit, completely insane and violent to the point of parody.

First Season Set Up

The first episode of the show starts live, from Hollywood, where the cast is finally presented to America. Too bad one of the group, Metallo, has found a way to override the system of the nanobots in his body, freeing himself from their control. He breaks havoc in Los Angeles and enters a military facility, entering in posses of a nuclear bomb and creating an army of cybernetic minions using scrap tech and computers. Despite requests from the government to shut down the program, the episode keeps going as the rest of the teams saves the day.

Other Major Story Arcs

Season Two: On Hiatus & The Homicide Squad

While the show starts doing great on prime television, something darker happens on the internet and illegal pirated networks: Homicide Squad. Six more villains are put together and unleashed in the street of a city to cause panic and devastation. They film their murderous spree live, via web cam, and get hundreds of crazy followers all over the world that starts rampaging and imitate their behaviors, posting on twitter youtube and facebook their madness. Of course, the Suicide Squad is accused of spawning all this trouble. This starts an arc named On Hiatus. The show is removed from television and the squad members are sent once more back to prison. Soon, they plan a breakout, they escape and kidnap a cameraman of the show. They want to find the Homicide Squad and stop them while regaining their loyal fanbase… what they don’t know is that behind this new group of killers there’s a centennial secret organization, nemesis of the League of Assassins. They were supposed to be all dead, but now they came back…

Season Three: Death to Hollywood

At the start of season three, the concepts starts getting tired, the characters are mostly unappealing, and the public grows more and more uninterested. The producers come up with a brilliant plan: a shock episode in which all the members get brutally killed and replaced by more hip supervillains. But the S3 team discovers the plot and at the moment of confronting the replacements, they fake their deaths. After getting rid of the nanobots, they launch themselves in a crusade against Hollywood and the network, assaulting full force all the major studios, mauling their way through actors, directors and celebrities, interrupting the shooting of movies and TV programs.They come with a final confrontation with the second team and…

Season One

Deadshot as the team leader. Giganta, Clock King, Silver Swan, Plastique, Trickster

Season notes: C.King is treated like the running joke of the group. It doesn’t help that he’s stuck with his “Batman: the Brave and the Bold” costume. Deadshot considers the entire idea stupid and inane, yet he accepts the role of the leader. Giganta fights with him over it. Trickster gets in the cast after Metallo psycho plan fails. Dr. Phil tries to analyze the team members. It doesn’t end well (for him).

Season Two

Cluemaster, leader. Folded-Man, Encantadora, Riot, Killer Frost, Rainbow Archer

Season notes: Encantadora wasn’t a prisoner, she joined the show voluntarily to become famous. She boast of having seduced Superman. Heavy emphasis is put on Cluemaster relationship with Stephanie Brown. R.Archer is forced by the studio to adopt a stereotypical “gay” persona. Killer Frost is promised royalties for every “ice” related pun she can make. One of the team members dies at the hands of the Homicide Squad.

Season Three

Team 1 the Original group: Captain Boomerang, leader. Brick, Dust-Devil, Voltaic, Heatstroke, Calendar Man

Team 2 the hip, cooler and skimpier group: Red Hood, leader, Double Down, Dr. Phosphorus, Harley Quinn, Menagerie, White Rabbit.

Season notes: Calendar Man it’s in his original costume. That’s because being the worst villain of all times is better than being a Hannibal Lecter rip-off. Captain Boomerang kills George Lucas. He’s hardly the only one that gets it.

The Homicide Squad

Doctor Trap, leader. Onomatopoeia, Zeiss, Merlyn, Chiller, Manchester Black

Notes: Main villains of Season Two and a recurring foe in Season Three with an altered line-up. Everything that Kevin Smith as wrote about Onomatopoeia after his first appearence his ignored, because that's god will.

And that’s pretty much it. Next time: the reconstruction of Captain America (but mostly his villains).

PS: If somebody has some suggestion or wants to hear my though on some particular title, they’re free to ask for it. It always help think about stuff that I don’t normally look at.

I’m the mighty Clock King! KNEEL BEFORE MEEEEEE!!!

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