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Even MORE movies that SHOULD have sucked but didn't

Detective Pikachu.

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A young man has been told that his detective father he haven't seen for years has died in a tragic car accident. When Tim goes to his dead dad's apartment, he finds his father's partner who was declared dead as well. The father's partner has amnesia but believes that Tim's dad is alive and that if they can find him, then they can get what they both want.

The story takes place in an amazing fantasy world that has a ton of details and wonderful creatures who lives with the humans. Despite being based on a video game franchise, this is a movie everyone can watch.

Why it should suck: It's a life-action video game movie, Deadpool is the voice of Pikachu, and it is so OBVIOUS that Bill Nighy is the bad guy!

The Great Mouse Detective.

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This family film embraces everything great about what makes Sherlock Holmes one of the most beloved characters of all time and gives us a fascinating villain that is suiting for a story that takes place in the late Victorian era.

Why it should suck: It's a kids movie where Sherlock Holmes is a mouse!

Cars 3.

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An amazing athlete is scared as he realizes that he is getting older as well as that the newcomers are more advanced than he is when it comes to training and equipment. Our hero is quite simply a fossil. But he is too stubborn to give up, he wants to do one more race to prove he still has what it takes. But he realizes that old age might not be a curse, and finds something that makes him more happy than racing.

Why it should suck: IT IS THE THIRD MOVIE ABOUT LIVING CARS!

Kung Fu Panda.

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A young and humble man has been given the chance of a lifetime. But he is not sure if he wants it. And most doesn't believe he deserves it, especially his supposed teacher. But with his new teacher, the young man realizes his true potential, and his teacher realizes that his student is not the problem and that he has to make peace with his past.

Why it should suck: It's another one of those stories where a fat guy proves he is good enough, UGH!!!

Sky High.

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Born to greatness but not sure he has what it takes to follow in his parents' footsteps, our hero(hehe) goes to an extremely privileged school where he doesn't fit in... seemingly. But then it is revealed that he is actually VERY gifted. But success can be intoxicating. A fun movie that does ANYTHING but take it's world and it's tropes seriously.

Why it should suck: It's a teen Disney movie with humans in it AND it is basically Harry Potter with superheroes.

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Five OTHER sidekicks you might not know

Zook

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Zook was Martian Manhunter's sidekick/pet(?). He came from another dimension and two criminals and a law enforcement officer from said universe. Manhunter managed to send the bad guys and the cop back to their dimension before the warp hole they came from closed... But forgot about Zook who was then stuck in the main DC universe.

Zook ends up following Manhunter around and is an asset in his adventures with his powers such as temperature manipulation, shapeshifting, and the ability to track down anyone.

Sergeant Mike Cosgrove

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A very weird superhero needs an equally odd sidekick.

Cosgrove is a mentor of a sort, but he is mainly Freakazoid's right hand man. When he doesn't tag along on his weird fights for justice, he interrupts him in doing something important to do something they both enjoy, like watching a bear riding a motorcycle and then discuss how odd it is that pigs are smarter than bears, yet THEY can't ride a bike.

Despite his monotone voice, Cosgrove share Freakazoid's type of fun and is his best friend, even knows his true identity. He is stern, has a heart of gold, loves meat, and can usually stop bad guys by simply telling them to "knock it off".

Doiby Dickles

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Doiby Dickles was a fat taxi driver who once saved the life of the Golden Age hero Alan Scott AKA Green Lantern. Then he became his sidekick and assisted him both as chauffeur and fellow crime-fighter, even aided him in fighting the Nazis during the war.

... Aaaaand then he married an alien princess named Ramia from the planet Myrg. Also, the planet ended up being SUPER similar to Brooklyn where Doiby was from.

Yeah.

Right.

Sandy the Golden Boy

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Sandy Hawkins is the nephew of Wesley Dodd's(AKA Sandman's) girlfriend and partner Dian Belmont. Sandy was a fan of Wesley and trained himself as an athlete, hoping that one day he could help Sandman fight crime. He DID end up as Sandman's partner after Doan was (seemingly) killed. But Sandy became a giant sand monster after a freak accident that involved one of Sandman's weapons, and the poor kid had to be locked away in a specially designed cell. He regained his human form several years later, but remained a being of living silicon with many powers. After the original Sandman died, he inhered Wesley's power of prophetic dreams, joined the Justice Society as Sand, and later became the next Sandman.

Jim Wilson

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Jim was a very angry kid from Harlem who ran away from his father, hitch-hiked around the country and befriended Hulk. He became sort of a second Rick Jones who tried to calm the green giant when he was on a rampage. He ended up having several connections to superheroes(not all good) because of his new friend, and it was even revealed that he was the nephew of Falcon.

He later got HIV and became active in both protesting against injustice that others who suffered from the same illness had to face and he became a volunteer in a clinic for AIDS patients. He died as a result of his sickness and Banner donated money to the clinic to make sure it would run for quite a while.

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Five things you did not notice while watching “Treasure Planet”

Space is not space.

It’s the Etherium. It’s like a bizarre hybrid of space, ocean and air. That is why there is wind and life in it and why you can breath.

Jim is tying knots after Mr. Arrow’s death.

When Silver finds Jim in order to give him a peptalk, Jim is tying knots. He thinks that Arrow died because he did not tie the ropes properly, but he KNOWS that he tied them properly. So he sits with a piece of rope that he ties around his own fingers to see if he can or can’t tie a proper knot to make sense of what just happened.

Captain Amelia and Doppler's romance is built on intellect.

Despite them seeming like opposites(not JUST because they are a cat and a dog) they are extremely similar since they are both brilliant creatures. It is because they can recognize and be impressed by each other’s intellect that they fall for each other.

Silver is a dark reflection of what Jim COULD be.

They are both obsessed with finding the treasure. Jim is a troubled young man who feels like he has no direction despite being smart enough to build a ship from scraps and fly it perfectly. All he has is an old dream about finding a fairy-tale treasure. So when he realizes that the treasure is real, he decides to find it.

It has been made clear that Silver became a cyborg by hunting the treasure for years. The way he bitterly talks about “giving up a few things” indicates that he gave up more than just body parts, leading him to be an old mean pirate. He is essentially what Jim COULD have become if someone hadn’t seen something good in him and given him a whole lot of discipline and tough love. Something only Silver(ironically enough) could have given him since he is a figure Jim genuinely respects.

The symbolism when Silver saved Jim.

Silver desperately holds on the ship with the treasure with his robot arm that he gained by hunting for said treasure. He reaches for Jim with his organic arm that represents what is left of his humanity and decency. He closes his robot eye as he looks at Jim with his organic one when he decides that Jim is more important.

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These are the five best comics I read this year.

2019 is done. These are the five best comics that I read thatyear.

Umbrella Academy: Hotel Oblivion.

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This comic is weeeeeeeeird.

Spider-Man and the X-Men.

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Wolverine died(PFFF, HA!) and one of his last wishes was that Spider-Man should teach some of the students in the Jean Grey Academy.

The X-Men are ANYTHING but happy about that. Spidy is not thrilled himself.

Spidy becomes the new ethics teacher of the school. He teaches the troubled students who REALLY needs a lesson or two in great responsibility. But Spidy meets resentment since he is NOT a mutant and everyone feels like he is whitenormal-'splaining them.

I had NO IDEA I needed Spidy bad guys and X-Men villains to team up. And it is always a joy to see Spider-Man AKA the ultimate former teen hero bond with teen heroes and actually get where they are coming from. Marvel deciding to not let Peter keep being a teacher after OMD was a HUGE mistake and this series proves it.

Beastars.

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Cherryton Academy is a boarding school in a world of anthropomorphic animals. The school's students are extremely mixed and many of these students turns out to be important figures in a society where carnivores and herbivores co-exist as well as they can.

But then, one of the students, a llama, gets killed. But not just killed, he got maimed and eaten, meaning that it was a carnivores who committed the greatest crime imaginable. The relationship between carnivores and herbivores students that was anything but perfect to begin with get's ten times worse as the paranoia spreads.

Also, this is the love story about an awkward wolf and a bunny who graves sex. READ. IT.

Saotome Senshu, Hitakakusa.

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16-year-old Saotome Yae is a highschool boxing star who is described as”the hope for all of girl’s boxing”. Everyone admires her and has high expectations of her as a boxer. Even the fricking mayor since Saotome makes the city somewhat famous.

Unfortunately, this is the reason to why she gets rejected by Tsukishima Satoru, a guy who is also in the school’s boxing club, only he sucks at it despite his impressive knowledge about the sport.

It’s not that Satoru doesn’t like her or that he is intimidated by strong women. He likes Saotome a lot. He just worries that he would distract her as she is on her way to become one of Japan’s greatest amateur boxers. That, and he is kinda worried that if them dating goes sour that he would become the school’s persona non grata.

However, the rejection really bothers Saotome, and being a teenager who has hormones and stuff AND is already under a lot of pressure and stress due to her status as a boxing prodigy makes her somewhat more vulnerable. After their coach from the school’s boxing club learns about the confession disaster, she suggests that Satoru with his waste knowledge about boxing could become Saotome’s trainer as well as secretly date her.

This manga is a salute to the tall, big girls, and being the son of one makes that a special book for me. Saotome is not a joke because of her body. In fact, we see her through Satoru’s eyes who thinks she is extremely attractive. And she is, just not the standard-manga kind of attractive.

Tamberlane.

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Human lost among animals is not something new, but it is always fun to see what different writers do with the trope(Amphibia is a favorite of mine).

Belfry, a clumsy bat-squirrel hybrid from the town Treehollow, finds a strange creature wandering alone in forest. It is a very odd creature without fur, feathers, scales or tail, but it is clearly a little child of some sort. And it is all alone, naked, bruised and scared. So Belfry adopts the bizarre creature, naming her Tamberlane.

This webcomic has a ton of easy to love characters who has all sorts of amazing designs. Here is a link:

https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-1/

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Five awesome indi cartoons from 2019

2019 is over...

And it had some pretty great independent cartoons.

In a world where Disney is on it's way to fricking own everything(!) it is nice to know that there are independent creators who thanks to the internet can share their surprisingly good cartoons with us. Here are the five I enjoyed the most:

The Silent.

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Fourth episode of the "Vampair" series with short animated videos about the young lady Missi and her fateful encounter with the Duke of Vaults. After Missi kills the Duke, SHE becomes a vampire and she gets back at the asshole vampire, even resurrects him just to ridicule him.

But she learns that power has a terrible cost... and worst of all, she actually consider paying said cost to KEEP her unhealthy power.

Like the prior episodes, the song used fits perfectly. the video is not based ON the song, the song is simply an effect.

Helluva Boss.

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As much as I ADORE Hazbin Hotel, I must admit that I enjoy it's little sister more.

Helluva Boss is about three imps and a hellhound who has opened an assassination company in Hell where they offer to kill anyone who screwed you over when you were alive since they have a magic portal with access to the living world.

... But the four of them are a bunch of useless assholes, the biggest and most pathetic one of them being the boss Blitzo.

This is essentially a Looney Tunes cartoon. A very VULGAR, very VIOLENT and very INAPPROPRIATE Looney Tunes cartoon. And yeah, I get that it is a big deal that Richard Steven Horvitz is in this, but I can't get over the fact that Brandon Rogers(!) is both the voice of Blitzo AS WELL AS co-writer of this amazing little cartoon!

Satina Wants a Glass of Water.

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Satina is the daughter of the demon Lucia and some dude named Dave. And she wants a glass of water.

This is so stupid that it is genius!

Boomerang in a Gun Fight!

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Piemation gave us the wonderful anti-hero... anti-villain...

...

Well, he is anti SOMETHING!

... Anyways, Piemation gave us the wonderful Suction Cup Man, and now we got ourselves a ding dang Western cartoon!

Sheriff Todd Hayseed and his deputy Shawn protects the small town of Troughwater... without much success since Todd is childishly innocent and uses a boomerang and Shawn can't use a gun since he is a donkey and doesn't have fingers. Mayor Joy is about to have a mental breakdown due to her town being "protected" by this useless duo, but she decides to try and train them in combat since they are all she has to work with.

Lovable little cartoon, can be watched by the whole family, hoping to see more.

HOLIDAZE

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What happens when a spirit of Halloween and a spirit of Christmas meet?

Something magical, that's what.

Jingle and Jangle represents two VERY different holidays, but they learn that they might not be THAT different.

This is possibly one of the best Christmas cartoons I have ever seen. It is VERY wholesome.

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Five favorite 5-panels of 2019

Well, the year will be over in a couple of hours. I think it is time for me to reflect on my work this year.

Haven't made many 5-panels this year, partly because I've been focusing on writing blogs. But here are the five I'm proud of.

“Duck Avenger: Second Draft” in 5 panels

Not funny as such, but I like to point out the bizarrenes of the stuff I like to read. Most of my 5-panels are based on stuff I actually LIKE.

But I will be the first to admit that it is downright STRANGE how dark this story is about what it means to be independent. Since, you know... DONALD DUCK is the main character!

Alan Moore comics in 5 panels

This year has been one where I looked at some of the classics in my bookshelf and realized that if they had been written today... well...

Alan Moore is an example of an old-school writer who has done tons for the industry. But it does not change that they way he writes women is very outdated. Sure, Silk Spectre was feminist... for her time. But she doesn't contribute much to the story besides being the "woman".

But that was long ago, I think we should give Moore a break. However...

Geoff Johns comics in 5 panels(?)

Johns wrote in the 90s. What is HIS excuse to be lowkey sexist?

Not saying he IS. Just that he unfortunately uses female stereotypes over and over and over AGAIN!

The fact that he gave Power Girl her old costume back is one thing. But the fact that he tries to JUSTIFY it by making a REALLY weird trauma reason is just insulting.

Spawn.

This one I made yesterday, JUST in time for making it to the list.

It is strange how something soooo cool can be soooo dumb once you stop being baffled by the cool-ness and think about it.

Showcase issue 17.

This one, I barely had to do anything. I just let it do the work itself.

It's odd that no one but me has pointed this out how inconsistent Adam's origin is... but that might have something to do with not many caring about him.

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"Spawn" in 5 panels

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Al Simmons! I will allow you to leave Hell and see your wife again! But in exchange, you must become my general of the army of Hell! MY HELLSPAWN!

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It is a deal, demon!

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HAHAHHAHA! You will serve me well, Al Simmons! You will be the key player that will allow my armeis to DESTROY Heaven, and then-

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Actually, I don’t feel like it anymore.

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… I beg your pardon?

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Yeah, this whole general of Hell thing is not working out for me, so thanks but no thanks. I think I will just live with the hobos.

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… Shit. And I have no way of directly forcing you to do what I want.

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Dude, really? I thought you controlled me since you gave me life and powers.

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Yeah, you would think that. But no. You left Hell, and I do not control you at all. I just have to send a guy to pester you, hoping it will motivate you to be evil.

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Wait, so you have no fail-safe in case that I would REBEL against you? I can turn on you, even kill you?

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You could, but I would prefer that you didn’t.

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Boss, you are kind of stupid.

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Five TV Christmas-calendars

One of the most beloved Christmas traditions in my country(Denmark) in the 24 episode long TV shows we see as we wait for the big day. It's something the family gather together to see after dinner. They are usually about Christmas or Santa being in danger somehow, and there are usually nisser(Danish word of elves or gnomes I guess) who plays key roles IF they aren't the main characters. The shows has evolved with the years and some of them is actually not about Christmas at all.

Here are five of my favorites.

The Elf Gang in Greenland

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This is a classic. Still shown with a few years gab.

Santa Clause has a group of special agents, ready to help him when he has difficulties preparing for the big day.

In this case, they have to take care of his toy factory as Santa in on a mission to find two magical stars who has crashed on Earth. If these two stars is slammed together then you can wish for anything you like. Quite dangerous. So the Elf Gang must travel to Greenland where Santa's secret home is and must figure out how the factory works while Santa is on his little odyssey.

Honestly, this TV calendar is not THAT great, but it was very educational about Greenland AND it has great nostalgic value for us Danes.

Greatest Christmas of All Times

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Generally considered the greatest Christmas TV-calendar of all time.

The elderly elf Guttenborg lives and works in the Danish National Archives where he study the history of Denmark without the human librarian Bertramsen knowing about it. Guttenborg likes to work alone, but he is a lone wolf no more when he get's an official apprentice. The young elf's name is Pyrus, and he is very 90s like and HATES books(unless they are comic books). But Pyrus ends up being interested in the many books in the archive since elves can use magic to summon people FROM the books or to travel inside the books. But the person they make travel through time to meet them can't be in the present for more than 24 hours before they disappear from history and LITERALLY fades away.

Pyrus is unfortunately too curious for his own or OTHERS good, and he uses magic without his mentor's supervision as he tries using a spell on a book about the history of Christmas.

The result is a catastrophe as Christmas disappears from the Danish history and no one remembers it but Pyrus and Guttenborg. AND a young lady comes out of the book as well, and she has lost her memory.

The two elves must now rediscover Christmas by traveling inside history books to meet historical figures and ask them what they know about the holiday so they can write it into history again. AND find out where the girl with memory loss(whom they have named Freja) is from so she can return to her proper place in history before she fades away.

This calendar is a ton of fun for the whole family. It teaches the history of Denmark AND the evolution of Christmas. And it has some very appealing characters ', including the humans who has a plot of their own. The special effects are VERY simple but used well, and some of the greatest Danish actors is in the show as well playing historical kings, scientists and poets.

Christmas In Valhalla

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This is an example of a Christmas TV calendar that is not about Christmas as such.

Jonas and Sofie are two kids who meets an weird old guy who is chained to the wall in a cave. He tells them that he is a god and that he can grant them three wishes IF they release him from his chains. They do so, but realizes too late that they have released the trickster god Loki, meaning they have made it possible for Ragnarok(Nordic end of the world) to happen. They find out that they cave has a secrets tunnel that leads to Valhalla, the home of the Æsirs, the old Nordic gods. They travel to the home of the gods as they try to find Loki and chain him to the wall once more before the end of the world.

The show got criticized a LOT for not staying that loyal to the actual myths about Odin, Thor and the rest of the gang of gods. But I liked it, my mom even more so. So much I gave her the show on DVD as a present.

Island of the Elves

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Sequel to the "Elf Gang in Greenland" calendar, but made SEVERAL years after it's predecessor. 14 years to be precise.

The Elf Gang has been split up for years, but there is need of it again since Santa has apparently gone crazy and sold Christmas to Festival Frederick, a billionaire who provides bananas to the whole world. Festival Frederick is apparently not satisfied with ONLY being a billionaire, so he intends to not only owning Christmas but to use the official Santa to advertise crap he wants to sell.

There is now need of the Elf Gang since the Elf Gang is the ONLY elves who has ACTUALLY met Santa, so they can tell if this guy with red clothes and white beard is the real deal. But the only member left of the gang if the elderly cook elf Lunte, so he alone must travel to the islands of Saint Thomas where Santa is at the moment as well as gathering a new team of elves from the tropic island to help him.

This is the kind of comedy TV show that the whole family can enjoy with a subtle sense of humor and self irony. It is even educational for the kids.

The Secret of Absalon

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Cecilie is the daughter of the owner of the man who owns Magasin, a huge department store. She wishes to become an archaeologist and is very interested when ruins of the famous bishop Absalon's home has been found underneath Magasin. Even more so when there are rumors about Absalon having a secret that can cure any sicknesses since Cecilie's little sister Ida has a VERY weak heart and can't leave home. Cecilie can't enter the ruins to try and find the bishop's miracle cure, but she meets Hubert, a little boy who secretly lives in the department store with the two homeless men Frode and Ib. Together, they break all the rules to find out what the secret of Absalon actually is.

But others wishes to find out as well...

3 Comments

W2 reads “Beast Complex” chapter 3.

WARNING! The third chapter is pretty messed up.

You remember how 90s movies taught us that love could conquer everything?

Well, that’s BULLSHIT! Even more so in “Beastars” and “Beast Complex”.

Love is not ALWAYS enough. Love can be a motivator though. But there will be problems no matter what. Sometimes, those problems CAN be so big or complex that a romance won’t work out.

Either way, love takes time and hard work.

Even more so in the world of anthropomorphic animals.

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The protagonist of the third chapter of “Beast Complex” is Galom who is a camel. He is a journalist, but the newspaper he works for makes him write articles he doesn’t really feel like writing, specifically about incidents where carnivores eats herbivores. So he decides that the article he writes about carnivores being born to consume meat will be the last one before he quits journalism.

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… And then, a wolf appears. Specifically a very sexy wolf lady by the name Abby. She needs somewhere to sit with the coffee she just bought, and Galom sits at the only table where there is room for one more.

And Galom(who is about as smooth as sandpaper) asks her if she ever wanted to eat a herbivore.

… Dude…

Galom naturally get’s embarrassed about his VERY rude question for a bigoted article even HE thinks is shit. Abby surprisingly accepts his apology on the condition that he treats her for dinner.

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Yep, they end up going on a date. And Galom finds himself more and more attracted to Abby who is carefree and frank to a fault.

Aaaand then we find out that the story we are being told is actually a flashback.

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Yep, Galom is telling some friends about his night with Abby the wolf. This is interesting and a good story-teller tool for two reasons.

First of all, we now know that Abby did not kill Galom. Since the chapter BEGINS with with a zebra getting attacked by a tiger, we could assume that was foreshadowing. SECONDLY… Why is Galom wearing a weird glove on his left hand but not his right?

Anyways, back to the story Galom is telling.

The date went VERY well, and Galom and Abby ends up in a hotel, ready to get “busy”.

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… and then Abby reveals that she actually wants to eat him. She doesn’t wish him dead, but she REALLY wants to taste his flesh. She “wants” him so badly that her instincts mixes up lust and hunger.

That’s the thing about the universe of “Beastars”; the animals can’t run away from what the are.

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A wolf is a wolf. It is their nature to want to eat other animals, that’s just the way it is. And when the animals in “Beastars” and “Beast Complex” are feeling extremely excited(like when they are about to have sex) they have a harder time fighting instincts.

In “Beastars”, Legosi decides to accept that it will ALWAYS be a part of who he is and tries to somehow control it by being aware and accept his instincts as well as exercise and eat well, hoping it will be enough to prevent him from eating Haru.

But it goes a bit different in “Beast Complex”.

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Galom is a bit shocked by what Abby just told him. But he decides that he likes her so much that he makes a compromise of a sort.

He tells her that she can eat a tiny bit of him he rarely use. So Abby eats about half of his left hand while they make love.

… Dude.

It was implied at the end of the story that their romance did not last, but that it had such an effect on Galom that he decided to keep being a journalist as he thinks about the amazing night he had with Abby.

The fact that Galom is not with Abby anymore makes the story pretty bittersweet. Especially since he thinks of the night where he lost a couple of fingers as a wonderful memory(and it’s also pretty messed up). But the point of the chapter is that even when you are ready to make compromises, love can not endure everything… but it is still a beautiful thing.

It’s likely that if Galom and Abby’s (implied) one-night-stand had been more than just that, Abby might have hurt Galom more, possibly even eat him up.

That is naturally not a real-life problem, but that’s the point. This is a world of animals, there are different rules than those of a human world. You have to accept a different sort of logic while reading it.

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