"Vroom vroom" goes the babbling bear burning a bare wall with an unattended torch, paws clasped together by psychic shackles.  The bear barely held up his ears up as his protruding snout led his eyes to the sight of something curious: a garden. Rows upon rows of shimmering, splintering flowers surrounded a koi pond that hummed the sweetest honeydew melodies, giving the impression that the garden was alive.  With pricked ears and suspicious eyes, the bear ventured forward, clumsily tiptoeing along the cool grass, eager to realize the treasures that lie in store.       
"Bam Bam Bam diggity  goes the diggity Doppleganger, and the flutesmith sings a footnote.",  announced the bear  
Waddling forth in a nervous hunch, the babbling bear fell silent at the first note of a lovely un-dirge, a maltose-soaked ode to the fauna of the garden. Like a chocolate trail to a certain spoiled Deutsche, the curious creature followed the sequence of sounds, ravenously gulping the treat as the song strengthened in volume.  With a belly half-full and a mouth half-open in a smirk that would grant a stroke victim a sigh of competitive relief, the babbling bear suddenly found nothing to babble about at all.  
For at the edge of the koi pond sat a girl of twenty-two, draped in a coat of blossom petals with a corresponding petal in her oak brown hair. Finished with her tune, the girl, who, again, was the age of twenty-two, laid her auriophone to rest and gave her attention to the pond. (the synthophone, for those who are ignorant, resembles a miniature keyboard with forty keys and a golden sheen - The Author). The once-babbling bear, dumbstruck with yearning, slowly approached the lass with wondrous anticipation.  
Layers of effervescent atmosphere muddled the bear in various ways. Walking soon turned to a still, thinking soon turned to aching, salivating soon turned rabid insidiousness. A sinister sensation came over the beast like cascading waters, drenching the fur on his deep and furry chest. It was clear to him that the girl in the garden was no ordinary trinket to be fought over. Cogzinant of the impending gluttony, the koi pond changed keys, from major to minor, matter to anti-matter, optimism to uncertainity. Iridescent leaves grazed furry shoulders, flaking, leaving behind constellations of Red Giant residue.  
"........................................................................................................" uttered the formerly-babbling bear, a black hole in place of his voicebox.     
Red Giant shoulders shined dimly as the bear grew closer and closer to the unassuming blossom-cloaked girl.  Thunderous, cacophonious marching grew more obnoxious and louder, louder, louder, louder,louder, louder, louder, louder until, finally, the bear reached the lass, the marching having found silence, the musical koi pond responding in kind.  
Compelled to turn around and face her admirer, the blossom girl faced the bear, prompting the necesary inquiry of "What?"       
The bear fell dull, considering the question, coughing hoarsely before answering: 
"Do you have a piece of gum?" 
"Indeed, I do" replied the girl, reaching into her napsack for a single slice of honeysuckle-pink gum.  
The euphonious koi pond conjured up musical foam textures, pushing away the stale atmosphere of old, leading to a fresh, new colorful future.

The vast ramblings of a perverted, nubile troll :).......

Since when has casual debate transmogrified into a medium of instability and unwarranted aggression? Why are the mechanics of a normal conversation thrown out of the window when a healthy back-and-forth escalates into a phalnax of death threats and criticisms? Differing opinions are the hallmark of any decent forum, tangible or otherwise. Meanwhile, the values of rationality and compassion find themselves dispensed at the drop of hat, forced to lie on the floor and watch an anon castigate a curious and unsuspecting newcomer. Would it hurt to consider new schools of thought?