Words Women Use

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)      
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying 'GET BENT'!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.    
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New Dino-Eating Pterosaur Evolved in Unusual Way

An international team of researchers has just identified a new dinosaur-eating pterosaur that soared through the Jurassic skies 160 million years ago, according to a study released this week.

Christened Darwinopterus modularis, meaning "Darwin's wing composed of interchangeable units," the new flying reptile honors the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin's birth by providing evidence for an unusual and controversial type of evolution.

Modular evolution theory holds that entire modules, or groups of body features, evolve together within a relatively short period of time.

Lead author Junchang Lu told Discovery News that the pterosaur fills a gap between primitive basal forms of this animal and more advanced pterodactyl types.

Older forms had "small heads, short necks, short wrists, a long tail and a long fifth toe on the foot," he said. In later, more derived types, "the skull, neck and wrist became relatively long, but the tail became short and the fifth toe dwindled to a small nub or was lost altogether."      
Lu added: "Darwinopterus captures a moment in that evolution from primitive to advanced forms. But contrary to what we expected, it has the head and neck of an advanced pterodactyloid while the rest of the skeleton is like that of the primitive rhamphorhynchoids (flying reptiles)."

He and colleagues David Unwin, Xingsheng Jin, Yongqing Liu and Qiang Ji studied more than 20 fossil skeletons -- some complete -- of Darwinopterus, according to a study in the latest Proceedings of the Royal Society B. The bones were unearthed in northeast China earlier this year.

Based on the fossils, the researchers determined the crow-sized flying reptile was about 1.6 feet long with a 2.3-foot wingspan.

Unwin, a University of Leicester paleobiologist, informed Discovery News that several groups of flying animals lived at the time of Darwinopterus. These included other pterosaurs, a gliding mammal and several small, feathered dinosaurs, all of which Darwinopterus likely ate.

The toothy reptile "presumably caught its prey in its jaws either in mid-air, or possibly by picking them off branches or fronds as it swept past, much as bats glean insects from trees and bushes today," he explained.      
It's possible that the body changes seen in the winged reptile evolved to support this method of flight and hunting, since larger jaws would have made it easier to seize prey midair. The shorter tail probably allowed for greater airborne maneuvering.

Mark Witton, who is an expert on pterosaurs and is a University of Portsmouth paleobiologist, told Discovery News that he agrees with the findings and was very surprised when he first heard about the new species.

"While we could predict that intermediate forms between basal pterosaurs and pterodactyloids had to exist at one stage, the 'cut-n-shut' mechanism of this new critter is pretty amazing," Witton said, adding that he wonders why these animals evolved in such a manner.

"What selection pressures made the head and neck change without affecting the rest of the skeleton?" he asked. "Was it something to do with feeding, locomotion or any number of other things? At the moment, I don't think we really know, but it should be pretty interesting to find out."  
Witton suspects opportunities in the animal kingdom for rapid, modular evolution must be rare, since the new species would probably have to quickly fill a bunch of "previously empty or recently vacated (ecological) niches."

While he doesn't think humans evolved this way, the unusual process could explain how mammals quickly changed and spread right after dinosaurs became extinct.    
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5 Things You Shouldn’t Do With a Windfall

Wouldn’t it be great to be on the receiving end of a large windfall? We’ve all got our own ideas about what a large windfall might be. Some might think that $20,000 is a hefty amount, while others require a sum ten times that amount to make a dent in their finances. But it doesn’t matter what the actual sum is; it only matters that the sum is a windfall to you.

[Slideshow: 10 Things to Splurge on This Summer.]

There are both wonderful and foolish things you can do with a windfall. Blowing the lot would be an exceedingly bad thing, while giving it all to charity would be selfless and very generous. Either way, you'll need to give this money some careful thought before you put it to work. At any rate, should you ever be in the lucky position of being on the receiving end, here are a few things you should try NOT to do. 

1. Don't start giving away your money. We all want to be generous of course, and we’re not suggesting you shouldn’t be. But don’t make commitments right away. The likelihood is that your windfall will have come as something of a surprise. So give it time to sink in and keep that money in a safe place for the time being. Don’t make any knee jerk decisions, no matter how sensible they might seem at the time. Figure out your financial priorities before taking action. 

2. Don't start spending it all. Don't make immediate spending plans just because you've got the means to do this now. Just as you shouldn’t start handing out your money to other people until you’ve had time for the news to sink in, don’t spend it all right away. A cooling off period does a lot of good to get your head on straight. A better move would be to first invest in financial software or a budgeting tool like You Need A Budget to get a good picture of your planned expenditures. 

3. Don't invest your windfall without prior advice or consideration. You may be tempted to start opening a series of accounts with investment companies, banks or online brokerages. And certainly, you’ll want to take some good advice from an investment expert or independent adviser before figuring out what to do with a large sum of money. But even when you have that advice, don’t just agree with what they recommend, or blindly execute the plans they've suggested for you. Instead, take the guidance of experts (several, preferably), and think about what makes sense to you and what you're comfortable doing, before making any big moves. This is your money, after all. 

4. Don't start a business without adequate preparation. History is littered with people who suddenly decided to become business moguls, only to find out a little too late that they didn’t have the skills or the know-how to be entrepreneurs. Before you decide to go into business for yourself, make sure you have carefully assessed the risks involved and your ability to run the business. Be honest with yourself about this. Too often, people who suddenly acquire resources to start a business get ahead of themselves and allow their giddy emotions and blind enthusiasm to control their decision-making. 

[See How to Build a Smart Wardrobe on a Budget.]

5. Don't do anything you wouldn’t normally do.
This is an unusual point, but it's worth bringing up. If you are used to living a certain way, it’s because you’ve made many, mostly prudent choices to get to where you are today. If you are happy with your current lifestyle, you may want to think twice about making big changes to your life simply because you now have the money and the means to do it. You could have been left $20,000 from someone’s will, or you might have won $2 million by playing the lottery. Whatever you win, don’t let it change your financial habits –- unless it’s for the better! 

We can probably think of quite a number of incredibly foolish things that we could do with a windfall. But allowing yourself enough time to think of your options and to plan accordingly can help you avoid making mistakes you'll regret later. By taking the time to stop and think before doing anything in this situation, you can get the best out of the financial gift that you've received. After all, you may only have just one chance to get it right!    

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20 Things You Should Never Buy Used

We all love scoring great deals on Craigslist and Ebay, but many second-hand purchases are actually terrible deals. Stay clear of these 20 used items that will end up costing you money -- or even endanger your health. 

1. Cribs and children’s furniture: If there’s any chance that you’ll put your children at risk by buying used, just buy new. Used children’s furniture, especially cribs, can be a safety hazard because you can’t be certain of a potential recall or if the crib was installed correctly. (See also 7 Baby Items You Don't Need to Buy.)

[Slideshow: 10 Inventive Ways to Save]

2. Car seats: Even if a used car seat looks OK, damaged car seats aren’t uncommon. Considering that safety technology improves every year -- and the fact that car seats can go for as little as $50 -- buying new is usually the better option.

3. Bicycle helmets: Usually, a crash would only crush the foam inside the helmet casing, so the damage to the helmet may not be visible. However, since helmets are meant to protect against one accident only, buying new would be a safer bet.

4. Tires: Sometimes it’s hard to tell if used tires were once part of a totaled wreck. If they have been in an accident, they’re bound to be unstable and unreliable. Putting your safety at risk for the sake of saving a few bucks just doesn’t add up.

5. Laptops: Because of their portability, laptops are prone to all sorts of abuse and problems. When you buy a used laptop, unless it’s refurbished, you have no idea what it’s been through or when important parts will die on you. You also don’t get the warranties and tech support that come with buying new.

6. Software: Most software comes with a serial number that you register with the company when you activate the software on your computer. If the serial number on your use software has already been registered, you can’t use it again. 

7. Plasma and HDTVs:  The cost for fixing or replacing the parts on plasma or HDTVs is high. Sometimes, it costs as much as buying a new TV. Considering the repair costs, you’d want to get an extended warranty, but that isn’t an option if you buy your TV used.

[See: Ready to Be Extremely Frugal?]

8. DVD players: While it’s smart to buy used DVDs, this doesn’t apply to DVD players. DVD players have lasers that will eventually wear out. The cost to repair or replace may cost more than the player is worth.

9. Digital and video cameras: Like laptops, used digital and video cameras are likely to have been dropped and banged around. It may not be obvious, but once the damage kicks in, it’ll be expensive to repair. If you know what to look for in a digital camera, you can get a great new camera without breaking the bank.

10. Speakers and microphones: Speakers and microphones are sensitive audio equipment that don’t stand up well to blasting and mishandling. Like laptops and cameras, the damage may not be obvious, but their performance would be severely compromised.

11. Camera lenses: An SLR camera lens is the most expensive part of a camera. It also directly affects the quality of your images. Any damage to the lens, however slight, will show up in your photos.

12. Photo light bulbs: Not the ordinary light bulbs you use at home. We’re talking about the light bulbs used with photography equipment. They’re relatively expensive, but their life span is short enough that you likely won’t get much use out of them if you buy second-hand.

13. Mattresses and bedding: Just think: You may be sleeping with other people’s mold, mites, bacteria, and bodily fluids. Besides, even the really good mattresses are only supposed to last eight to 10 years, and it’s hard know for sure how old a used mattress may be.

14. Swimsuits and undergarments: This is probably a no-brainer, but it needs to be said: Do not, do not, do not buy used swimsuits or undergarments. They’re worn too close to the body -- someone else’s body -- to consider buying used.

[See: 7 Money Mistakes We Make Every Day]

15. Wet suits: Wet suits lose the ability to keep you warm over time. If you’re a scuba diver, or the last owner was one, the constant change in water pressure will eventually wear out the wet suit and make it more likely to tear.

16. Shoes: If you get used footwear, it’s likely they’re already molded to the last owner’s feet. Poor-fitting shoes are not only uncomfortable but can cause all sorts of health problems, as well.

17. Hats: Hats are likely not cleaned before they’re resold or donated. If you buy a used hat, you don’t know if you’re also getting skin infections, old sweat stains, hair products, and other cringe-worthy remnants. Now that’s a deal you don’t want.

18. Makeup: A good thing to remember about used makeup is that it’s a breeding ground for bacteria and a number of contagious diseases. The great deal you found may come with pink eye and cold sores. Instead of buying used, consider making your own beauty products (it's easier than you think) or skip makeup altogether.

19. Pet supplies: Old stains and odors continue to ferment even if used pet supplies are sitting around in storage. If cleanliness is ever an issue, just say no.

20. Vacuum cleaners: Vacuums are among the heavy-duty household appliances that tend to get a lot of use and abuse. They can also cost more to fix than if you bought them new right from the start.    

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21 Things You Should Never Buy New

If you're looking to get the most value for your dollar, it would do your wallet good to check out secondhand options. Many used goods still have plenty of life left in them even years after the original purchase, and they're usually resold at a fraction of the retail price, to boot. Here's a list of 21 things that make for a better deal when you buy them used. 

1. DVDs and CDs: Used DVDs and CDs will play like new if they were well taken care of. Even if you wind up with a scratched disc and you don't want to bother with a return, there are ways to remove the scratches and make the DVD or CD playable again. 

2. Books: You can buy used books at significant discounts from online sellers and brick-and-mortar used book stores. The condition of the books may vary, but they usually range from good to like-new. And of course, check out your local library for free reading material. 

3. Video Games: Kids get tired of video games rather quickly. You can easily find used video games from online sellers at sites like Amazon and eBay a few months after the release date. Most video game store outlets will feature a used game shelf, as well. And if you're not the patient type, you can rent or borrow from a friend first to see if it's worth the purchase. 

4. Special Occasion and Holiday Clothing: Sometimes you'll need to buy formal clothing for special occasions, such as weddings or prom. Most people will take good care of formal clothing but will only wear it once or twice. Their closet castouts are your savings: Thrift stores, yard sales, online sellers and even some dress shops offer fantastic buys on used formalwear. 

5. Jewelry: Depreciation hits hard when you try to sell used jewelry, but as a buyer you can take advantage of the markdown to save a bundle. This is especially true for diamonds, which has ridiculously low resale value. Check out estate sales and reputable pawn shops to find great deals on unique pieces. Even if you decide to resell the jewelry later, the depreciation won't hurt as much. 

6. Ikea Furniture: Why bother assembling your own when you can pick it up for free (or nearly free) on Craigslist and Freecycle? Summer is the best time to hunt for Ikea furniture--that's when college students are changing apartments and tossing out their goodies. 

7. Games and Toys: How long do games and toys remain your child's favorite before they're left forgotten under the bed or in the closet? You can find used children's toys in great condition at moving sales or on Craigslist, or you can ask your neighbors, friends, and family to trade used toys. Just make sure to give them a good wash before letting junior play. 

8. Maternity and Baby Clothes: Compared to everyday outfits that you can wear any time, maternity clothes don't get much wear outside the few months of pregnancy when they fit. The same goes for baby clothes that are quickly outgrown. You'll save a small fortune by purchasing gently used maternity clothes and baby clothes at yard sales and thrift stores. Like children's games and toys, friends and family may have baby or maternity clothing that they'll be happy to let you take off their hands.

[See 20 Things You Should Never Buy Used.] 

9. Musical Instruments: Purchasing new musical instruments for a beginner musician is rarely a good idea. (Are you ready to pay $60 an hour for piano lessons?) For your little dear who wants to learn to play an instrument, you should see how long his or her interest lasts by acquiring a rented or used instrument to practice with first. Unless you're a professional musician or your junior prodigy is seriously committed to music, a brand new instrument may not be the best investment. 

10. Pets: If you buy a puppy (or kitty) from a professional breeder or a pet store outlet, it can set you back anywhere from a few hundred dollars to several thousand dollars. On top of this, you'll need to anticipate additional fees and vet bills, too. Instead, adopt a pre-owned pet from your local animal shelter and get a new family member, fees, and vaccines at a substantially lower cost. 

11. Home Accent: Pieces Home decorating pieces and artwork are rarely handled on a day-to-day basis, so they're generally still in good condition even after being resold multiple times. If you like the worn-out look of some decor pieces, you can be sure you didn't pay extra for something that comes naturally with time. And don't forget, for most of us, discovering a true gem at a garage sale is 90% of the fun! 

12. Craft Supplies: If you're into crafting, you probably have a variety of different supplies left over from prior projects. If you require some additional supplies for your upcoming project, then you can join a craft swap where you'll find other crafty people to trade supplies with. If you have leftovers, be sure to donate them to your local schools. 

13. Houses: You're typically able to get better and more features for your dollar when you purchase an older home rather than building new. Older houses were often constructed on bigger corner lots, and you also get architectural variety in your neighborhood if the houses were built or remodeled in different eras. 

14. Office Furniture: Good office furniture is built to withstand heavy use and handling. Really solid pieces will last a lifetime, long after they're resold the first or second time. A great used desk or file cabinet will work as well as (or better than) a new one, but for a fraction of the cost. With the recession shutting down so many businesses, you can easily find lots of great office furniture deals

15. Cars: You've probably heard this before: Cars depreciate the second you drive them off of the dealership's lot. In buying a used car, you save money on both the initial cost and the insurance. It also helps to know a trusty mechanic who can check it over first. This way, you'll be aware of any potential problems before you make the purchase.

[See 20 Tips for Cleaning on the Cheap.] 

16. Hand Tools: Simple tools with few moving parts, like hammers, hoes and wrenches, will keep for decades so long as they are well-made to begin with and are well-maintained. These are fairly easy to find at neighborhood yard or garage sales. If you don't need to use hand tools very often, an even better deal is to rent a set of tools or borrow them from a friend. 

17. Sports Equipment: Most people buy sports equipment planning to use it until it drops, but this rarely happens. So when sports equipment ends up on the resale market, they tend to still be in excellent condition. Look into buying used sporting gear through Craigslist and at yard sales or sports equipment stores. 

18. Consumer Electronics: I know most folks like shiny new toys, but refurbished electronic goods are a much sweeter deal. Consumer electronics are returned to the manufacturer for different reasons, but generally, they'll be inspected for damaged parts, fixed, tested, then resold at a lower price. Just make sure you get a good warranty along with your purchase. 

19. Gardening Supplies: This is an easy way for you to save money, and all you need to do is be observant. Take a look outdoors and you'll likely find such gardening supplies as mulch, wood, and even stones for free or vastly reduced prices. Used garden equipment and tools are also common goods at yard sales.

20. Timeshares: Buying timeshares isn't for everyone, but if you decide that it suits your lifestyle, purchasing the property as a resale would be a better deal than buying it brand new: on average, you'll save 67 percent on the price for a comparable new timeshare. If you're new to timeshare ownership, give it a test run first by renting short term. 

21. Recreational Items: It's fairly easy to find high ticket recreational items like campers, boats, and jet skis being resold. Oftentimes, they're barely used at all. As long as they're in safe, working condition, they'll make for a better value when purchased used than new.    

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this past week

ive been working like a dog 3-4days/week and when i requested time off for my vacation [june 20-26] the morons at my work put me on the schedule for the 20th then the 23rd, 25-26th with me starting back hte 27th. then my manager called while i was at the movies [watching the karate kid remake] said she was sorry. so now i go back the 28th n 29th.    

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Why, why, why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?    

guts or balls

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?''

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.''

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.    

underwear dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust cloud' appeared when he shook them out.

He hollared into the bathroom, 'Why id you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied... 'It's not talcum powder... It's 'Miracle Grow'.'