TLDR: This is just a rant, DC comics are weird, seeing if maybe some of you guys share some of the same thoughts as I do.
Mandatory Online Disclaimers:
I recently went back and read Identity Crisis for the .... fifth time maybe. And I guess to preface this: I do really enjoy Identity Crisis. This isn't a bash on Identity Crisis so much as a "gripe" with how I have been viewing DC comics in the last two years or so. I am just using Identity Crisis as an example to push my point. I know the comic is dated, but my point still stands in the idea that DC comics are still like this, IMO. I'm not one to pick apart comics, (they are fake, I get it.) but some things I just can't look past. Anything I talk about below, is something I absolutely can't look past.
Instead of just ripping the entire book/DC apart, I'll just use the fight against Slade.
WHERE YOU WANT TO BEGIN:
To begin with, Slade using 90% of his brain capacity, (this is apparently why he is such a great tactician) and the average person using only 10% is such a lame writing copout. Not only is this absolutely untrue, it is just lazy writing. I'm sure Meltzer could figure this one out.
The fight begins, and Flash immediately gets a sword through the chest which drops him to his knees. Pretty cool page describing how Slade beats him. I'm thinking, okay Flash just got a huge sword through the chest and out of his back. He's probably out of the fight. He might be bleeding a little....
Zatanna is next on the list. Slade does some attack (basically punches her in the stomach) while she is trying a spell. Instead of continuing her spell, (I mean, that would just make too much sense) she stops and asks "W-what'd you [do]." Really. Really? Zatanna, you just got punched in the stomach. You are in the JLA. Have you never been punched before? Do you know who Slade is? You are in a fight. You will get punched in a fight. Just finish your damn spell. She then starts to vomit too violently to speak and passes out. You are so lucky you are sexy Zatanna.
Carter then leaps off a building and does not see Slade's sword in his hand, behind his back, ready to block Carters leap .... onto him? (I'm not really sure why Carter jumped on Slades head when he has a weapon that allows him to distance himself from Slade, but I don't have too much beef with that.) I suppose Carter's eyes can count the wing-flaps of a Mockingbird, but he can't Slade's three foot sword, and he for sure can't see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Green Arrow is given his own page now, although we have seen him in about four panels trying to line up a shot on Slade. This fight really shows how completely awful and useless Green Arrow is. Slade charges right at him, GA can't hit him with a single arrow, and Slade then cuts off the quivers of all of GA's arrows. GA, just go clean Teen Titans tower. You suck. Slade then ignores GA because he sucks so bad, and goes after Dinah.
I know all the above has taken about twenty-five seconds to occur, but Dinah, come on. Do SOMETHING. What was she doing? Slade puts a bag on her head and handcuffs her while GA watches. I guess she can breathe through the bag somehow. I don't know. GA is probably into that stuff. Dinah, I am disappointed.
This might be the most unbelievable panels in the fight. Slade somehow sees a microscopic Ray Palmer, (I'm not sure why Ray is microscopic right now anyways. Maybe he is just trying to hide and run away.) whips out a laser pointer, and blasts him into oblivion. Slade can see microscopic objects? What? The laser pointer counter is a pretty cool idea, but it is just so unbelievable. Ray why were you microscopic anyways dude.
And now for Kyle, the worst Green Lantern in existence. What was Kyle doing this entire time? Ok, maybe he was sidetracked since he is part of the universal police, responsible for putting down the most powerful beings in the universe. I'm gonna give him a bye, he can be a little slow on the go. I'm sure Kyle will just put Slade (not the most powerful being in the universe) in a green cage or something. Maybe he will make a shark with laser-beams on its head to beat Slade. Nah, Kyle is a Jew, and decides to fist-fight Slade. Tell me I did not just see that. Someone revoke Kyle's ring right f'ing now.
GA interrupts Slade and Kyle's struggle with an arrow to Slade's eye, and Slade begins to beat him senseless because GA has no skills whatsoever. The JLA then decides to not use their powers at all and just fight Slade hand-to-hand (which makes no sense at all, but ok). They beat him in hand-to-hand combat because Slade got angry and stopped using logic (or something like that). Light and Slade get away. Of course no one dies. No one is seriously injured. The fight is basically pointless, as most of the DC fights are. An infinite amount of Slade fights are still yet to come. Fun fun.
Two pages later. Remember Flash? Yeah he's fine. This is the first time I was aware of Flash's healing factor. Who doesn't have advanced healing? Advanced healing is basically a cape at this point. How isn't Flash the greatest Hero in the world barring Supes? Poor Wolverine. All characters over-shadow you.
This fight just sucks. The art is beautiful, the telling of the fight is pretty nice, but all-in-all, I'm just cringing the entire time.
That fight is a metaphor for DC comics IMO.
If you have made it this far, here is my real beef, and what I think needs to be done.
Since basically since Final Crisis/New 52 I haven't really read any new DC comics because of things similar to my rant, and the stories were bad and confusing, and it just wasn't working for me. I switched to Marvel and it's a little better.
I HAVE went ahead and read 6 volumes of Sin City, and 4 volumes of The Boys, (also reading Ultimate Spider-Man which is pretty awesome, but that's for another posting) and these comics are such a refreshment. Not only are they absolutely awesome in their own right, the freedom that Frank Miller and Ennis have makes the comics so much better. People die and don't come back to life. The story doesn't have to revolve some plot that has been set for 50 years. The characters have so much more flexibility. Fights have a purpose.
After reading those two series it is so obvious that DC needs more stand-alones. What are some of the most interesting comics of all time? To name just a few: Kingdom Come. The DKR. Long Halloween. Marvel Zombies. Origin stories. All are very free from the constraints and monotony that DC puts on their comics.
I have had multiple friends, and myself, drop DC because it's just not working. DC needs to give some writers the power to write some awesome stuff. Let them kill some people. Let things actually matter when they are written. Let them have something interesting (God only knows why I read all of Countdown to Final Crisis). Give the writers power to NOT use Green Arrow. Let them have sharks with laser-beams. It doesn't have to be dark and gritty. DC can still appeal to the majority with these ideas.
Or ya know. Just do what you are doing. I guess that works too.
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