TwoGunGunnar

HB's just another demon to Conan.

Conan slays him and rides off with the girl-of-the-week, like he does in every Conan story.

Cap most of the time.

Batman vs. Any super powered anything.

Wolverine vs. Hulk, Thor, Spider-Man, Silver Surfer, or any other character that's clearly out of his league.

Galactus vs Anything except the Ultimate Nullifier - remember when that was the Only Thing In The Universe that could stop Galactus? I liked it. Made him more fun. Now he's just a big purple punching bag for every Cosmic Threat Of The Week. (see: the Worf Effect).

Dr. Doom is way out of their league.

The whole point of Dr. Doom is that he's a World Class threat. He's not a mugger or a bank robber.

@wolverine08 said:

@twogungunnar said:

Oh please.

Here we see evidence of Wolverine's Popularity Induced Power Creep. That this is even being discussed demonstrates that Wolverine is far from the character he was originally conceived as.

You should qualify this match up: Are we talking original Wolverine or post-Power Creep Wolverine?

If we're talking original Wolverine, there's no contest. DD trounces him in a panel or two.

If we're talking post-Power Creep Wolverine...the Wolverine who is indestructible, has claws that can slice through anything just like lightsabers, can heal any injury instantaneously, is a master of every fighting system known to man, has super-strength, speed & reflexes...then Wolvie would chop DD's head off immediately right before he brutalizes the Hulk, stabs Thor to death, beats up the Fantastic Four, and gives Galactus a noogie.

Before he was stupid-popular though, Wolverine was much more tolerable, and it would look like this:

Strength - equal

Speed - slight edge to DD

Agility - DD by a longshot

Endurance - Wolvie

Fightin skill - DD by a lot.

The only thing Wolvie had going for him was that his knives couldn't be disarmed, his bones couldn't be broken, and he healed faster than normal. But so what? DD handles thugs with weapons all the time, and how many times does he need to disarm them before kicking them in the head? So what if DD couldn't break his bones...since when is breaking bones necessary for victory in a comic book fight? "Healing faster than normal" does not equal "indestructible" so that's not a big deal either. Original Wolvie wasn't the Unstoppable Ultimate Badass Marvel's-Batman that he is today - he was a little, scrappy, street-level mountain man.

If we want to be true to the characters as they were conceived, DD beats the snot out of Wolverine.

Yes, he's stab the Silver Surfer to death, too. We get it. Teh Clawz would slice his board in half, and Wolvie would say something tough after shrugging off a blast of Cosmic Power and stabs the surfer in the face, and there's nothing the SS could do because Wolvie's the best he is at what he does.

Oh please.

Here we see evidence of Wolverine's Popularity Induced Power Creep. That this is even being discussed demonstrates that Wolverine is far from the character he was originally conceived as.

You should qualify this match up: Are we talking original Wolverine or post-Power Creep Wolverine?

If we're talking original Wolverine, there's no contest. DD trounces him in a panel or two.

If we're talking post-Power Creep Wolverine...the Wolverine who is indestructible, has claws that can slice through anything just like lightsabers, can heal any injury instantaneously, is a master of every fighting system known to man, has super-strength, speed & reflexes...then Wolvie would chop DD's head off immediately right before he brutalizes the Hulk, stabs Thor to death, beats up the Fantastic Four, and gives Galactus a noogie.

Before he was stupid-popular though, Wolverine was much more tolerable, and it would look like this:

Strength - equal

Speed - slight edge to DD

Agility - DD by a longshot

Endurance - Wolvie

Fightin skill - DD by a lot.

The only thing Wolvie had going for him was that his knives couldn't be disarmed, his bones couldn't be broken, and he healed faster than normal. But so what? DD handles thugs with weapons all the time, and how many times does he need to disarm them before kicking them in the head? So what if DD couldn't break his bones...since when is breaking bones necessary for victory in a comic book fight? "Healing faster than normal" does not equal "indestructible" so that's not a big deal either. Original Wolvie wasn't the Unstoppable Ultimate Badass Marvel's-Batman that he is today - he was a little, scrappy, street-level mountain man.

If we want to be true to the characters as they were conceived, DD beats the snot out of Wolverine.

Conan all the way. I loves me some Captain America, but Conan's the Gold Standard of Asskickery. He's a remorseless killing machine who will not hesitate to fight to kill from the very beginning.

You can't say Cap's any stronger, faster, tougher, smarter, or more "skilled", but you can say that Conan's meaner. A lot meaner.

Conan also never wears tights or li'l flappy wings on his head.

@wolverine08:

"...read some old handbooks"

Do you even know what those were? The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe was exhaustive profiles of every character; it included biographical information and profiles culled from every appearance the character ever made, written by the same people who wrote the comics - it was the very literal definition of "canon". And in it, Marvel clearly stated that Wolverine was not super-strong or super-fast. I realize that's changed since then, which is the whole point of the OP. They've changed Wolverine to something else. Something stupid. Because he's popular.

Whenever Conan comes up, I get the impression that very few people here know anything about the character. They know those terrible Arny movies, or have maybe read a couple comics, but that's about it.

The original stories are better than the comics, way better than the awful movies, and very much worth reading.

I guess you could say that. Or you could just say that Batman is superhuman because he does things that are clearly superhuman. In either case, Batman's a Mary Sue.