Toomuch12

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Toomuch12

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@papad1992: I have. I think Gillen has given good characterization of Prodigy. And he is already suspecting Loki of something, I think...

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Toomuch12

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#2  Edited By Toomuch12

You know that my review is always "Good chapter", so from now on I'll try to criticize, athough I'm bad at criticizing in general.

I am getting slightly annoyed from when they see any kind of sentinel, any kingd of past enemies,any reminder about their past lives, most of the kids think about "Oh my god! They killed my friends! We were so young, but now we are here! I'm so scared, but I must stand for myself!" It is getting old. Get more creative!:) At least you had a joke from Ben about grumpy X-men. Also, I forgot why Jean Grey's students went with Ariel. I thought at first they were looking for repowered mutants and they wind up Kaga's lair. What was the real purpose for their "field trip"? Then that dialogue between Rachel and Frost, and then Ororo. I figured out what was the point of their dialogue only after Ororo mentioned that the kids must stand out for themselves. Hope's intentions are difficult for me to understand. I got confused also about where is kaga's lair exactly. is it on asteroid or on the Moon. Why Megan says about Moon and then Hope says that they are going to the Sun? And when Josh says about shutting down the Sentinels, isn't it an equivalent of that country not getting destroyed because the Sentinels are goint to be shut down? When Ceccily says that Santo never ceases to amaze her, does she mean Santo's innocence that with all bad things that happened he haven't changed? Everything is so cryptic for me, most of the dialogues and actions, I an dumb so I need more explanations. I hope when the arc will be over most of the mysteries will be resolved.

Maybe it is just that you are writing in comic script format that confuses me, so my critique might be unfair. Anyway, good chapter! keep going!

PS Maybe It is just me, but I think you are deliberately keeping David out of action so he can make a big appearence and save everyone like a badass:) I like to think that, at least.

PPS Sorry for my poor language, I'm just a dumb Russian guy, чёрт побери.

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Toomuch12

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#3  Edited By Toomuch12

Another one good chapter! So much tension...

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Toomuch12

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#4  Edited By Toomuch12

I have read all three chapters. it's good, but I want to know what David wanted from hope and what is his motives to make a new Young X-men team.

Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward for the next chapter, althoug I need to read about Machines of War arc of X-men Security Recon

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Toomuch12

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#5  Edited By Toomuch12

Wow, I have just find out about your story, and it is good. One of the endangared species of fanfics that includes Alleyne. There are not many of them, I assure you)) Waiting for new chapter...

By the way, two questions:

1. Why when David got his powers back he suddenly gets to know about Cyclops ability? didn''t he know about it before when Three-in-one restored his kwnoledge?

2. Your Russian quotes are awful (as the ones of Marvel are) . I mean , О, мой господин Doesn't mean exactly Oh, my god! For Russians( as for me) it sounds more like Oh my master ( with erotic meaning) , it is better to use О, мой Бог or even better- О, Боже!

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