Lame Hispanic Characters

This would be the companion piece to my list of cool hispanic characters. For the most part these are the guys who are just pathetic. Their powers are lame, their look is lame, and they probably have little or no depth/personality to speak of. For the most part I do not see them as having any apprecciable potential for greatness, even if handed over to a competent writer. Alternatively, I will also include characters who might have decent powers/abilities, but they've never been treated as anything but a B or C-List character at best. They're practically little more than supporting cast. Token Brown Characters get to be here too, if 'Token Brown Character' is all they are.

Note: I've recently come to understand the difference between Race and Ethnicity, and realize I use the word "Hispanic" pretty inaccurately in several places. I should go edit them. But I won't. Cuz I'm lazy. But i'm not lazy because i'm hispanic. I'm lazy because i'm American. :)

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24 Comments
Posted by Byzantine

Good point how poorly some of this characters were handled, though I still think good writing and a decent artist or two could save some of them. Some have great powers or looks but all the personality of a brick. Others don't even have that.  
 
The original Matador is quite the bottom of the heap. His first appearance had him using his cape as a super-power, Daredevil noting "the cape vibrates the air around him, fogging my radar sense". Try to make sense of that.  
 
His next appearance had him teaming-up with other villains ... and he only managed to take out Leapfrog. One of his own allies.  
 
His third appearance had him manipulating Man-Bull in the vague hope he could kill him later. When his ally turned on him first, the Matador could not even face him effectively.  
 
His fourth appearance had him heckled by other villains. He challenged the Jester and was knocked out with a simple yo-yo. 
 
His fifth appearance had him impoverished and a live-in caretaker to his nephews. A Scourge of the Underworld was sent to take him out... and couldn't do it because the Matador deserved only pitty, not punishment. 
 
His sixth appearance had him hypnotized to serve as a puppet for the Ringmaster. He failed to even put up a fight.  
 
His seventh appearance had Stilt-Man insulting him for being too flamboyant as a homosexual. Matador took offense and claimed he was heterosexual. He settled for Stilt-Man bying him drinks to mend his wounded pride.

Edited by TheRedFear
@byzantine:
I agree, some of these characters can definitely be salvaged.  
 
Living Lightning, the newest Tarantula, Darwin, and maybe Rictor if they ever give him his powers back, or make him skilled enough to not need them.  
 
And again, I think Diablo would make the ultimate villain for Reed Richards if they stop treating him like a throwaway joke.  
 
Rockslide might be pretty cool if they... 
 
A) Give him the ability to retake human form so that he can once again know the touch of a woman, or...
 
B) At least make him strong enough that he can fight the likes of Hulk or Thing without embarassing himself. I don't need him to be able to beat them. I just ask that he at least be allowed to put up a respectable fight before he loses.  
 
When I first put Matador up there I had no idea there was an even lamer "first" Matador. After seeing how bad that Matador was I'm almost inclined to give the new one a break simply by virtue of how far he's come from where he started.  
 
With a MAJOR boost in fighting skill, and a total costume redesign, Gangbuster might be salvagable too.
Posted by Shadowsnake89

Actually Eduardo Lobo was shot and killed by his girlfriend Glory Grant in a fight with Spiderman who claimed she was aiming for Spiderman and Carlos was defeated in a one-on-one with Spiderman and taken to prison. The only thing he could be used for now is being one of the few powered mutants left on earth.

Edited by TheRedFear

Interesting. I assume you have the actual comics still? I lost mine ages ago sadly. I DO have a very clear memory of Kingpin using a silver-tipped Cane to smack the hell out of a werewolf. Did that happen in this story arc or am I thinking of some other Werewolf Kingpin owned with his pimpcane? 
 
I'll go edit "killed" into "beat up"(Or something along that line) now in my Lobo brothers post. Unless you tell me that scene never happened in the Lobo brothers arc.
Posted by TheRedFear
@Shadowsnake89:
Also, has it actually been confirmed that Carlos survived M-Day intact? I just find it incredily surprising that anybody over at Marvel remembered these characters enough to make a specific point of establishing that Carlos still had his powers.
Edited by Shadowsnake89
@TheRedFear:
No, I don't own the actual issue myself but I did have a data book with that fact in it,so i'm not sure if the thing about Kingpin and the cane are true. I don't remember seeing Carlos even mentioned in the 198 book at all. I would like to sww him make a return though as he and his brother always seemed like interesting villains for Spiderman, considering their the only villains in his rogues gallery that are mutants outside of Alyosha Kravinoff.
Posted by TheRedFear
@Shadowsnake89: 

Are you sure they're mutants? Silver shouldn't have had any special effect on them if they were mutants. Unless the writer just had a blonde moment. I am almost certain the Kingpin/Silver-tipped Cane thing happened with the Lobo brothers.    
Posted by Shadowsnake89
@TheRedFear:
Every sight that i've been to identifies them as mutants. Why the silver works on them I don't know. But Eduardo was killed with a silver bullet from the Arrangers gun.
Posted by Shadowsnake89

A lot of people would have to disagree with you on putting bane on the list.

Edited by TheRedFear
@Shadowsnake89: 

If any of them can make a convincing argument for why he doesn't deserve to be here i'll listen. But from where I stand, Bane is only deadly when he's pumped up on his super-steroids. And like I said in his entry, super-steorids probably means super-shrunken genitals and I don't care how badass you are. If you got a micro-penis, you're...lame. To put it politely.  
 
He experiences all the other stereotypical side effects ascocciated with Steroid addiction/abuse(which in and of itself is another strike against him), so it's safe to assume he's got the shrunken genitals side effect too.  
 
Without the Venom, he's a pushover. With the Venom, he's a steroid junkie. So either way, he's kinda lame.
 
Even in the Infinite Crisis arc when he was being all "badass" breaking backs and taking names, look at the kind of characters he was breaking. He was breaking the backs of random nobodies. Obscure, irrelevant characters who are only kept around to be disposable the next time the writers want to hype another character up by making them look badass. In professional wrestling Jargon, Bane was beating the crap out of "jobbers".  
 
And what happened next? The jobber son of one of those jobbers tracked Bane down and beat the crap out of him.  
 
Bane went from breaking the Bat, to getting schooled by a third rate jobber. So that proves without his venom, he's a pushover.  
 
How far the mighty Bane has fallen.  
 
I'm sorry but from where I stand Bane is a one hit wonder. He can't even beat a nobody like Judomaster. I couldn't find a single one of my friends who ever even heard of Judomaster. And Judomaster didn't just beat Bane. He dominated Bane.   
 
So it's safe to say he wouldn't even make Batman break a sweat if they ever fought again. In fact if I remember correctly even with the Venom he only broke Batman the first time by ambushing Batman after he was exhausted and beaten-up from fighting a crapload of other villains.  
 
That strongly suggests that even back when Bane was at his best he still wasn't an equal match for Batman in a straight up fight.
 
Also...I am so sick of the luchador crap with hispanic characters. Bane's not even mexican for heaven's sake. He's brazilian.
Posted by Shadowsnake89
@TheRedFear:
You make some good points on your list. Where Bane is involved in the waiting to tire Batman out is, in my opinion is just common sense. If I thought my only chance to beat Batman was to wait till he's worn out from fighting you bet i'd take it. He was also smart enough to find the Batcave but also figure out his secret identity. I will give you the point about Judomaster. I had never even heard of him before I read it up on Bane's bio. Bane is the leader of the secret six in the ongoing comic but I don't read Dc enough to Know how that's turned out.
 
Also on an unrelated note, which three prior Tarantulas were you refering to on the list.?
Posted by TheRedFear
@Shadowsnake89:

I don't mind a character who cheats to win. Batman occasionally cheats to win. But they make it clear that even when he's not cheating Batman is still a supreme badass.  
 
When Bane isn't cheating, he gets his ass kicked by third rate jobbers like Judomaster Junior. 
 
Besides, other than that first showdown with Batman, has he demonstrated any particularly brilliant strategies or tactics since? If he has, I havn't seen it. So that kind of goes back to my main point about Bane. He's a one-hit-wonder. One time in his life he had a "Crowning Moment of Awesome". Ever since he's been a third rate character.  
Posted by Shadowsnake89

Just to let you know, there's going to be a new Mexican villain briefly appearing in next weeks Taskmaster mini series if your interested.
Edited by TheRedFear
@Shadowsnake89:
Thanks i'll keep an eye out though I am not expecting much given Marvel's track record. Oh and I think I need to update Bane's entry. Apparently he's not even a real hispanic now. Apparently his daddy is a blonde slice of Aryan perfection named King Snake. No word on his mother though, so maybe he's mixed.
Posted by Shadowsnake89
@TheRedFear:
Gasp. I had no idea. Well im not that surprised.
Posted by DemonicBlade
Posted by TheRedFear
@DemonicBlade: 

They're on my cool hispanic characters list. Jaime deserves his spot. Lorena...i'm a bit less certain about.    
Posted by TheRedFear

@Shadowsnake89:
 lol I just noticed that I never answered your question about the other three Tarantulas.

 

Before the current fourth Tarantula there were three others. The original was a spanish assassin. He had no super powers. He was just an acrobatic human who wore boots with a single long spike coming out from the toes. The spike was poison tipped, but the poison wasn't even lethal.

 

Eventually a second Tarantula showed up. I think he was the son of the first. He was just as lame, and wore the same costume, had the same abilities, etc.

 

One of these two characters tried to get spider powers after getting tired of Spidey whuppin' their ass all the time. I forget if it was the dad or the son. Either way, the powers went out of control and they turned into a giant spider. Then the police pumped him full of bullets killing him.

 

Eventually the third Tarantula was the daughter/sister of the first two. She died like, almost as soon as she showed up. Killed by another villain if I recall.

 

The fourth doesn't seem to be from that family as far as I can tell, and she's doing alright for herself so maybe someday she can redeem the Tarantula name. Don't count on it though.

Posted by Shadowsnake89
@TheRedFear: Thanks for responding. I haven't  checked out your cool hispanic character list yet so i'll check that out.Oh El Aguila is back in the new Ironfist and Powerman books.
Posted by TheRedFear

@Shadowsnake89 
 
Hey so who was that mexican villain who appeared in Taskmaster that you mentioned?
Posted by Shadowsnake89
@TheRedFear: The guy's name was Don of the Dead.But it turns out his not Hispanic and the horrible accent is just affected.
Posted by mrmisanthrope

Speaking as a Hispanic (well, half Hispanic) I'm sorry man, but this list is terrible. Absolutely terrible.

A ton of these characters are great, Rockslide was one of my favorite new mutants to come out in the last decade. A lot of these characters, I'm not even sure they're Hispanic. You're going by their last name and just assuming in a lot of cases. You also seem to hate any Hispanic character who's abilities or name is based on them being Hispanic. What do you have against luchador? They're awesome. A lot of these are really, really petty reasons like "He's disfigured" or "He'll never get laid" or "He died while being Hispanic, so I am offended!"

At a certain point I started to wonder if you'd care about the treatment of these characters if they weren't Hispanic, moreso because I think a lot of them aren't. A lot of the characters you describe as "disfigured" are mutants. Mutants tend to you know, look mutated. Some of them are covered in scales or blue fur, or have bones sticking out all over them. This doesn't mean they're disfigured, this just means they're mutants.

My biggest problem here though is that a lot of your descriptions suggest you haven't read the comics the characters appear in. Like you were just looking at comicvine entries for Hispanic characters, and decided a character was lame if you didn't like it's description. You can't judge a character if you haven't read the comics it's in. Meh.

Posted by TheRedFear

@mrmisanthrope:

I happen to consider the inability to experience the joys of a woman's touch one hell of a handicap personally. One that can only be offset by an exceedingly well written character with deep layers of depth and emotion and personal drama. Benjamin Grimm had that back in the day, which is part of what made his character so compelling through the years. Well, that and the fact that Children think a woman's touch carries the fearsome disease of Cooties, so that's not really an issue for them. Frankly though even Sweet Aunt Petunia's favorite orange nephew has milked that cow for all the drama and angst it's worth and it's well past time they cured his inability to take human form in my opinion. Or at least get over it.

Most of these character i've read at least once. The ones where all I was going on was their Comicsvine entry...I said that all I was going on was their Comicsvine entry. Well, most of them anyway. Almost all of these characters are indeed hispanic. There are a few where I indeed was not sure, and was just guessing based on their last names...and I beleive said so in each(or most) of their entries. Take that for what it's worth.

As for what I have against Luchadors? Look I apprecciate that many people find Luchdors appealing...I'm not one of them. I find them clownish, silly, and impractically flamboyant and extravagant in a fight...that sort of thing may work well in the choreographed world of "professional wrestling" but if I am supposed to suspend disbeleif and be absorbed in the story of the struggle between Hero and Villain, I don't need my Hero trying to execute an Asai Moonsault off a Lampost. You just broke my suspension of disbeleif. Those sort of stories are good for campy laughs but you can't make a compelling character and serious story with campy goofiness. Such characters might make for fine(or at least amusing) sidekicks and supporting characters, but they will never be main-event headline characters in a story that's supposed to have an ounce of...for lack of a better word...credibility. A story I should take seriously, insofar as it is possible to take any comicbook story seriously.

I want to see Hispanic characters who can be the equal or better to the best characters out there. As powerful as Superman/Thor/Silver Surfer. As funny and endearing as Peter Parker or Wally West. As badass as Wolverine or Batman. As inspiring as Captain America or Wonder Woman. Or at the very least...characters with the potential to reach such heights.

Slapping on a clownish Luchador mask is not the way to get there in my opinion. Going down a checklist of every hispanic stereotype you can find and seeing how many of them(especially the more negative ones) you can cram into the character is also not the way to get there. Alot of these characters left me with the distinct impression that the writers were trying to say "Hey look at us! We've got a latino!!!" and left me feeling distinctly underwhelmed otherwise.

I respect you disagreeing with me on the issue though. There's more than a few characters whom I may move from this list to my cool list someday. Rockslide is in fact one of them. Unfortunately i've not been able to keep up with comics for the last few years. But someday i'll jump back on the wagon, and perhaps whatever modern writers are doing with these characters at that time will make me rethink how I think of them. Until then we agree to disagree. No harm, no foul.

Take a look at my Cool Hispanic Character list. Maybe you'll agree with me more on some of those :)

Posted by eldestrisk

@theredfear: It seems a lot of people disagree with you.

Have you checked Darwin on Peter David's X-Factor, maybe that would change your mind. (btw I'm latino)