Hulk Rants: Why is Seltzer Water hardly ever sold?

Hulk's rant today is something Hulk wanted to talk about for a while, but Hulk have never got around to it. It's of a bit of concern. Why is it that seltzer water is never sold in restaurants. Hulk don't understand it. Now, in case you don't notice, Hulk have been on a bit of a health kick. Eating more fruit, vegetables, less sugar and chips and stuff. Another step Hulk took was replacing soda with Seltzer Water. Just as carbonated as soda, but none of the sugar or calories or caffeine. Hulk actually really like it. Now, Thor and Iron Man tend to pick on Hulk for choosing Seltzer Water instead of soda, but it's worth it. It's better for you, and it still has that carbonation Hulk like.

Crazy enough. Hulk actually think the plain one tastes best.

Now, onto the meat of the topic. How come in restaurants, bowling alleys, movie theaters vending machines, pretty much ANY places that sells food and beverages, does not sell seltzer water? Hulk don't understand why this is. Sure, schools and grocery stores sell seltzer water, but that's because schools have to encourage healthy eating. But, Hulk am talking general public places, such as the restaurants, bowling alleys and any place that sells food and drinks. They don't sell it. It's pretty much non-existent in those places. It kind of makes Hulk sad that people are missing out on a really good carbonated beverage. Hulk say that if Hulk go to another public place, and Hulk don't see Seltzer water, someone is going to be smashed!




Hulk Lists: 2014 Movies that deserved to make more money

Hello fans. After a month long hiatus, Hulk am finally back once again to give Hulk's latest list. Also, sorry for being gone for a month. Hulk don't have a lot of free time. You know saving the world, destroying the army, yelling "HULK SMASH!" all the time. Well, Hulk am hoping to make up for lost time a bit and explain which movies Hulk feel deserve to do better in terms of making money. Now, obviously, there were some box-office giants such as Transformers, Godzilla and Maleficent. But, there are some 2014 films that didn't make that much money. That doesn't mean they bombed, it just means they didn't make as much as the others. Also, keep in mind this list will not be in order. It will just be a list in general. Let's get started:

ROBOCOP (2014)

Hulk don't know what went wrong with this movie exactly. Hulk remember doing a review of it, saying, "Hey, it's not that bad. It's good. Quit complaining, all that stuff." But, Hulk do think Robocop 2014 deserve to make a lot more money than it did. Sure, it earned $240 million worldwide, but in America, it only earned, at best, the same amount the original 1987 did worldwide. Hulk feel like Robocop 2014 was the ultimate example of fanboy sabotage. Where people complained so much over so little, it impacted its revenue.

Mr. Peabody and Sherman

What happened here? Even though the film earned way more than its $145 million budget ($245 million to be precise), somehow it was a commercial failure, making Dreamworks have to do a $57 million write-up. How does that work? Shouldn't it be a success since it earned more than its budget, and a lot of people Hulk talked to say the film was good. Hulk thought the film was good. It taught kids good history facts, had great humor, was charming, taught the importance of family, and even touching at points. What went wrong here?

Muppets: Most Wanted

If any film deserved to make more money than it did, it's Muppets Most Wanted, AKA The Muppets...Again! Unlike Mr. Peabody and Sherman, Muppets was NOT a commercial failure. It just didn't earn anywhere near as much as it's enormously successful 2011 predecessor, The Muppets, which was one of Hulk's favorite films the year it came out. That movie earned $160 million, and is the first Muppets movie to reach that mark. This movie only made $78 million. Why, though? Hulk thought everyone loves The Muppets. Hulk love The Muppets. Heck, even Loki admitted he likes The Muppets. But, seriously, though, this film should've made way more than it did in actuality.

Edge of Tomorrow

Oh yeah, this is definitely one of the summer blockbusters that should be laughing it up with Transformers and Godzilla in the box-office hits club. Because this was one of the biggest surprises of the year. Hulk thought it was actually not going to be that good. Hulk thought it would probably be, "Eh". At best. But, this actually really surprised Hulk. It was clever, great, and actually way funnier than Hulk expected it to be too. It didn't do BADLY, per say. But, it just didn't have a very strong run, earning $369 million against a $178 million budget.

Hulk feel like these films overall should've earned way more money than they did and got more attention overall. Simple as that.


Do you agree with Hulk's list? If not, what would you put on this list?


Hulk Reviews: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) SPOILER WARNING!

After a long time of anticipation and speculation, Hulk finally got to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the reboot directed by Johnathan Liebsman, and Hulk have to say about it...Hulk really enjoyed it. It was nowhere near as bad as Hulk thought it was going to be. This movie was a big surprise for Hulk.

OK, Hulk am going to do a new system for reviews to try it out. Hulk am going to tell you the good, the bad, the ugly, and personal thoughts.


You can actually see the action in this movie. With the Transformers movies, a lot of the time it is hard to see who's fighting who because Bay keeps shaking the camera around. Here, Liebsman doesn't do that as much, so you can actually see, say, Leonardo fighting some Foot Clan soldiers. Plus, the scene where Splinter is fighting Shredder, that's very well shot. Speaking of Shredder, he is a freaking beast in this movie. Throughout a good portion of the movie, you can see him just destroying everyone. Hulk was surprised. Hulk not sure the 2012 Shredder could stand a chance against this guy.

Also, the acting on the turtles is actually pretty good. The voices of Leonardo, Raphael, Mikey, and Donatello, are all actually well-done. Megan Fox's acting actually even improved a bit, Hulk kind of noticed. Not that much, but a little bit. When she screams, it's somewhat believable.

Also, there was a part where Hulk actually did feel some legitimate emotion. It was just one part, but it happened. It was the part where Splinter's fighting Shredder, and Leonardo and the turtles go and try to help, and a door comes down next to them. Horrified, the turtles start yelling, "Dad! Dad! Dad!" Hulk felt something there. Splinter's kids are just watching him get absolutely destroyed by Shredder, and there was a little of emotion put into that scene.


There was a big plothole Hulk found when April O'Neil was talking to Whoopi Goldberg. Earlier, she took a picture of the turtles, but then they erased it, but she took another picture. April then goes to Whoopi Goldberg's house and tries to prove to her the existence of the turtles, and Goldberg fires her. Why didn't she just show her that second photo she found? They could've even worked around it and still moved along with the story like say Megan Fox shows Whoopi Goldberg the photo and Goldberg says, "Those are some impressive photoshop skills, Miss O'Neil. But that's not enough to convince me you are not crazy."

Also, Hulk felt the movie took itself a little too seriously in a movie where giant talking turtles do ninjitsu. Hulk know the original comics were super-serious and dark, but they were parodies of dark, violent comic books such as Ronin and Daredevil. Hulk feel it could've used a bit more humor.


Splinter's abusive nature towards the turtles. Hulk was actually kind of shocked by the way Splinter treated the turtles at the beginning of his appearance. He starts beating the crap out of them with his tail and then forces them to hang on their feet and do silly things and then interrogates Mikey using pizza. Hulk wasn't sure about that.

Also, Mikey being a pervert. Throughout the movie, Michaelangelo keep trying to hit on April and it kind of annoyed Hulk a bit. Hulk was thinking, "Somebody REALLY needs to neuter this turtle!"

The size of the turtles. Hulk don't have a problem with the size of the turtles here except there supposed to be teenagers. It makes Hulk wonder how big they will be when they become adults. New York would probably have to deal with 4 mini-Gameras stomping around.


Hulk actually liked that Shredder spoke Japanese in this movie in the film. He still spoke English a lot, but there were a few moments where he spoke his native language, Japanese. In the comics and cartoons, Shredder never really spoke Japanese. He would almost always speak English. Here, it seems closer to a real Japanese ninja because he speaks Japanese.

So, overall, Hulk had a good time watching TMNT, and Hulk wasn't really expecting that at all. It succeeds in being what a Ninja Turtles movie should be: Fun.


Did you see the new Ninja Turtles movie? What did you think?


Hulk's Thoughts: The Spongebob Movie: Sponge out of Water

Welcome to another episode of Hulk's thoughts. Me am the Incredible Hulk. Today, Hulk am going to be talking about something that Hulk am surprised to see is actually happening. It's the trailer for a second Spongebob movie that's coming out in theaters in 2015.

Yeah, Hulk am honestly a little skeptical about this, because of the fact that Spongebob after the last movie has kind of begun to decline in quality a bit in terms of writing. The animations for new Spongebob are awesome, but the writing and plots are less than perfect at best these days. While there are some exceptions to Modern Spongebob (which Hulk will list in another blog after Hulk's vacation with the others Avengers soon), most of the new Spongebob episodes range from either mediocre or outright horrendous. But, this trailer for the new Spongebob movie, is actually OK. Hulk actually laughed at a few gags, despite Patrick being portrayed like a pervert at one point in the trailer.

Hulk am also a little confused about the plot. It seems to focus on Spongebob and company heading onto land to stop some kind of evil pirate mastermind. But, don't they die outside of water? It was shown numerous times in the show. Hulk am confused, but Hulk think they'll explain it in the actual movie.

Hulk am not sure this is true, but Hulk am hearing rumors that the original Spongebob writers are coming back to do this, which does hold some promise. While Hulk am giving it the benefit of the doubt, Hulk am going to have to wait and see how reviews are before Hulk decide to go see it.


Are you a fan of Spongebob? What do you think of this trailer? Are you going to go see the new movie?


Hulk Reviews: Guardians of the Galaxy

Hulk know Hulk have kind of been slacking on the reviews lately, especially with Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, which Hulk thought was awesome. Well, now Hulk and the other Avengers are heading out on vacation soon and Hulk need to get some things accomplished on here as quickly as possible before Hulk head out on the big vacation.

So, this is Hulk's review for Guardians of the Galaxy in IMAX. How does it hold up?

It's freaking awesome. Hulk have such a good time with it. It was funny, action-packed and the characters had great chemistry, too. One thing Hulk really like about it that this and the Ninja Turtles movie that's coming out tomorrow are doing is the fact that...Let Hulk just say. Too many superhero movies these days, like the Amazing Spider-Man, The Dark Knight and a lot of others, are trying so hard to be dark, brooding, cynical, and generally depressing. Hulk am happy that Guardians and Ninja Turtles are choosing not to do that. Because when you got a talking gun-wielding raccoon in it, what other way can you go?

Actually, Hulk think Hulk ran into the raccoon while Hulk was grocery shopping. Anyways, back to the movie. It was awesome. Rocket Raccoon, as Hulk stated was Hulk's favorite character in the whole movie. Groot came extremely close, but sorry, Chris Pratt, Hulk know you are a good actor, but everyone in this movie, is playing second fiddle to this freaking talking animal right here.

Another person Hulk really enjoyed is Groot. The guy doesn't say anything else but, "I am Groot." But, he says it in different ways. Hulk think that catchphrase should become an Internet meme. Hulk am surprised it has not yet already. Hulk also really enjoyed Drax, and Hulk wasn't expecting him to be all that interesting, but he was. Because, he's like the straight-man of the group. Actually that would be Gamora, except she's the straight-woman. But, Drax is funny because he takes everything so literally.

Not only is Guardians of the Galaxy incredibly funny, it is also spectacular with its action sequences and it even has some genuine parts that make you feel emotion. Hulk not going to say what for those who have not seen it yet, but it's cool.

Overall, Hulk had a really good time at Guardians of the Galaxy.


Did you see Guardians of the Galaxy? What did you think of it?


Hulk Rants: Dumbo to be made a live-action picture.

Welcome to another Hulk Rants. Hulk have just found out recently that Dumbo is going to be made into a live-action movie with CGI elephants and real people. Hulk have to say. THAT IS THE DUMBEST IDEA HULK HAVE EVER HEARD!

Hulk don't really remember much about Dumbo. Hulk know it obviously involved a flying elephant, mice in parade suits and racist crows, but here's the problem with a live-action Dumbo. The original Dumbo. There weren't many people in it. There was a ringmaster, sure, but there were no real central human characters in Dumbo. When your main characters are elephants mice and crows, what's the point of making it live-action? Hulk get making Maleficent, Alice in Wonderland, and the upcoming Beauty and the Beast and Jungle book live-action movies, because all those had main central human characters. Dumbo does not.

Another problem with this is that, as Hulk said earlier, the film had black crows that were arguably racist. And this movie is getting one of the writers of the Transformers movies. Yes, one of the writers of the series that gave us Mudflap and Skids. Hulk can't wait to see how that turns out.

Plus, the pink elephants were scary enough animated. If they did that in live-action, Hulk would have nightmares for weeks.

Overall, while this is nothing Hulk would smash anyone over, it's still a really dumb idea. What's next? A live-action Lion King even though everyone is an animal in that. Why not? It's the next logical step (sarcasm).


What do you think of this news? If you produce a live-action version of an animated classic, what would you use and why?


Hulk Rants; Animal Farm Movie in the works by Andy Serkis!

Andy Serkis is reported to be working on a new adaptation of the classic George Orwell book, "Animal Farm."

The classic allegory for communism featuring talking animals will be directed by Serkis himself and the animals are going to be entirely performance-capture. Interesting. The film is supposed to start filming sometime this year and is going to be a...contemporary update and satirize modern political stuff.

Hulk am not totally sure about this. While Hulk am interested in seeing how this turns out, Hulk don't see how motion-capture will work for animals that walk on four legs and have non-humanoid faces, like pigs, horses, ducks, and stuff. Hulk don't know that will work. But, hey, considering the fact that movie tech has come so far, Hulk will believe anything.

Also, Hulk's biggest concern is what the audience, as in the average commoner, will do when they go to see the movie and see the trailers. Because this material, while it does feature pigs walking on 2 legs and wearing clothes and features talking animals establishing a country and other silly things like that, it is NOT intended for kids. Hulk am worried that the only thing people who see this are going to take away from it is, "Oh, there's talking animals in it." Hulk am worried modern audiences won't understand that it is intended as an allegory for Stalin's reign in Russia and that they'll take their kids...and the kids will get nightmares. Because the book and both film adaptations, one animated from 1954, and one live-action with real animals in 1999, contain somewhat disturbing imagery.

"A pig being a tyrant and killing everyone! Bring the kids!"

Maybe Hulk am just over-analyzing a little. Hulk am sure it could be good. It's supposed to be released some time in 2016.


What do you think about this? Will you see Andy Serkis' Animal Farm? Have you read the book?


Hulk's Thoughts: Coca-Cola to develop "more nutirious" cola? Interesting.

Welcome to Hulk's thoughts. Me am the Incredible Hulk. Hulk just recovered from a little stomach bug (hey, just because Hulk am super-strong and impervious to injury doesn't mean Hulk can't get sick). But, anyways.

News reports are saying Coca-Cola is planning to release a cola that is supposed to be better for you due to the fact that it uses more natural ingredients. The product is called Coca-Cola Life.

They hope that it'll cause a renassiance in soda sales because of people trying to be healthier, and drinking less soda, therefore earning them less profit. Coca-Cola life is reported to use "stevia". Hulk don't really know much about it, but Hulk know it either comes from a plant or is a plant.

Hulk don't know if it'll actually work, but Hulk am interested in seeing the idea of a "healthier" soda and seeing how it does in its promise and sales. Hulk see potential in it. Hulk know that it's actually already out in Argentina and is selling pretty well. If it ever gets released in the States, how it does here will be a mystery at the moment.


What do you think of this idea Coke has? Do you think it'll work? Do you think it'll fail?


Hulk Rants: We need a Rampage reboot!

Hulk am thinking. You noticed lately that Rayman has actually had quite a resurrection lately? Hulk played one of his most recent games, Rayman Origins, and it's actually pretty good. Hulk think that with Rayman getting a comeback, Hulk want to see another franchise get a big-budget, AAA comeback game. Rampage.

Hulk consider Rampage and its sequel Rampage World Tour to be 2 members of Hulk's list of all-time favorite video games, Hulk would love to see Rampage make a Renaissance of their own. The last game they had was a game in 2006 called Rampage: Total Destruction, which was fun, but repetitive. Hulk know some of you people are wondering, "Why reboot Rampage? What more could you do with it?"

A lot actually.

Hulk have this great idea for a Rampage game where it's a 3D open-world destruction game. You get to choose 3 monsters, obviously, George the Gorilla, Lizzie the Lizard, and Ralph the Werewolf, each with his/her own unique attacks. Lizzie can breathe fire, George can do some of kind of sonic roar, and Ralph can jump great heights. And you can free-roam across 3 different open-world cities and do challenges and missions and stuff, all the while causing mass destruction to everything. It would be fun. There could also be an interesting storyline where maybe say ScumLabs is trying to do experiments on humans to try to turn them into monsters as well to rule the planet and the 3 main monsters have to stop them. It could be a fun city crushing, building-smashing game for next-gen consoles.

Hulk would love to see a big-budget, AAA reboot of Rampage on par with say The Last of Us in terms of quality and hype levels.


Do you think Rampage deserves a reboot? Do you like Hulk's concept for a reboot?


HULK RANTS: Why are kids not interested in Hulk?

Always this. Yet nothing for Hulk.

Hulk am really upset about what Hulk am going to rant on today. So, apparently, Hulk have been noticing something that's a bit of a trend. Hulk kind of noticed that not many kids put Hulk at the top of their list of favorite superheroes. How do Hulk get this feeling? Well, sometimes Hulk will go out to maybe get a video game or something (trust Hulk, it's annoying when people crowd around you when you are trying to shop), and Hulk went to the toy aisle and Hulk saw nothing but Ultimate Spiderman stuff. Ultimate Spiderman toys, stickers, gadgetry, balloons, all that stuff. But, yet, nothing for Hulk and the Agents of SMASH! What's up with that? Why don't kids care for Hulk? Hulk am a cool guy? Hulk can be just as kid-friendly as Spiderman can. Hulk don't know why Hulk never see Hulk toys all over the place. Sure, there in a very tiny section somewhere, but they are vastly overshadowed by Ultimate Spiderman stuff. Hulk don't know why kids always flock to see Spiderman, but never Hulk. Hulk am one of the most friendly people towards kids you could meet.

What do you think? Do you think Hulk and the Agents of SMASH deserve more toys than Ultimate Spiderman? Why do you think kids don't care about Hulk as much as Spider-Man? Or do you think it's fine the way it is? Be honest.


What do you like better? Ultimate Spiderman or Hulk and the Agents of Smash?