TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/15/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the May 15, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. After last week’s lackluster “live” show, how would this show turn out? Will EC3 finally get his rightful spot as #1 contender? They were advertizing Team Angle vs Team Young in a “Hardcore War” for tonight’s show, so would that turn out good? Let’s start the show and find out.

We’ve got Mike Tenay back on the announce table with Josh Matthews, and it’s great to have him back. Never realized how much I missed him until I saw people infinitely inferior to him.

Show opens with Kurt Angle coming out with Chris Melendez, wearing a shirt that certainly stands out. It’s all grey and in black lettering says “ARMY”. Angle says that each week he laces up these boots and goes to war, and last week he want to war with Eric Young, who decided to align himself with the BDC and it blew up in his face. Kurt says that he aligned himself with someone who, Sergeant Chris Melendez, who Kurt says is a true American hero. Kurt goes on about how great Chris Melendez is for putting his life for his country and it cost him his body. Not his body, really more just his leg. He then says he had help from others and calls out The Rising.

The Rising comes out, and Kurt begins thanking them for standing up for the fans, wrestling, & everything and they’re allowing him to defend the title every week which he’s thankful for. As a fan I hate the Rising for that. They then go on about some nonsense that ends with Galloway saying that one day they’re gonna fight for that title and he’s gonna win and take the belt from Angle. And that’s the day and I loose all hope for TNA.

Eric Young comes out shouting know and talks about how it took him weeks to get his title shot, and they stacked the decks against him with special referee Bully Ray and The Rising, and that he got screwed.

Eric then says some more stuff and he just really just seemed too random. He said something about how Kurt surrounded himself with losers.

Hope EY keeps this up, I haven't gotten this much use out of that meme in a while.

More stuff is then said, and Angle’s final partner for tonight is revealed to be the returning Lashley. I thought he was gonna be gone for a while, but I guess we’re not that lucky. Young’s team is then revealed and it’s the BDC unsurprisingly, who run down and attack Angle’s team.

Backstage scene where Brooke & Rebel are shown getting ready for their match. With what they’re wearing and the poses they’re making it makes me feel like I’m getting ready to watch some sort of softcore porn. Not that I’d know anything about that kind of stuff...

Match #1 - The Dollhouse (Jade & Marti Belle) w/Taryn Terrell vs. Brooke & Rebel

Remember everyone, this is very important! The Dollhouse has a new theme that’s the song “Doll Parts” by the band Hole with lead singer Courtney Love. It’s so important that they had to tell us in the corner of the screen.

I was going to make a joke here asking where the Menagerie went and how Knux should be on the side of a milk cartoon, but they make a reference that she was part of them but they “went back to the circus”. Technically it was a carnival, but whatever. Does this mean they’re gone from TNA? Cause I’ll be a tad disappointed if Knux is gone. Why is Rebel still here then?

The match was really bad, but when the most talented person out there is Brooke I don’t know what you’re supposed to expect. 3 of the women were hot, so I guess there’s that, but it doesn’t make it entertaining to watch. Still better than that sh*tty Avengers movie I saw earlier in the week I guess. There was a botch where Rebel was going for a split from the top rope, but Jade started rolling away long before Rebel actually got off the rope and she should have noticed. The Dollhouse wins and I truthfully don’t even remember how. Do you really care?

Winners: The Dollhouse

After the match, Taryn gets on the mic and starts giving her nonsense. She says something about her and Gail Kim’s family and says to stay tuned. Is she teasing more of her & the Dollhouse tonight? Please no. I don’t think I can handle more of this sh*t.

Backstage the BDC & EY are talking and they say Homicide can’t be there for Hardcore War tonight. EY says he’s got a guy and they’ll be impressed how crazy he is. Sounds like Bram, or I at least hope it is.

Ethan Carter III comes out and Matthews & Tenay start arguing over whether or not EC3 should be #1 contender (he should be). EC3 gets out and starts complaining about the new Top 5, as he beat Anderson last week in his own match and the guy who is #1 lost last week, so he should be the new champion and demands answers. Mr. Anderson comes out and... JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE F*CK!?! THIS SHOULD HAVE ENDED LAST WEEK!!! TNA, YOU DO REMEMBER THAT ANDERSON KILLS THE MOMENTUM OF EVERYONE HE’S IN A FEUD WITH, RIGHT!?! DON’T F*CKING KEEP THIS THING WITH EC3 GOING!

EC3 tells Anderson that they’re done, but Anderson says that they disappoint him and he wants to fight someone tonight. Anderson makes an offer that he already has something set up where Anderson faces Tyrus and if he wins, he’ll get EC3. EC3 doesn’t agree, and as they walk away Anderson asks if he’ll always be EC3‘s little b*tch, and then keeps repeating it until Tyrus accepts.

Match #2 - Mr. Anderson vs. Tyrus

Match wasn’t that good. I’ve seen worse, but it’s what you’d expect. Most notable thing was Tenay & Matthews arguing with Matthews in support of EC3. Does TNA feel the need to always have the announce team bickering?

EC3 tried to interfere at one point, but the ref threw him out. As he was walking up the ramp, a “We want Ethan” chant broke out, which was cool. Anderson seems mostly out of it, but predictably hits a Mic Check on Tyrus and gets the win. So now we’ve got EC3 vs Anderson AGAIN. They didn’t say it, but I assume for next week. Please be it this time.

Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson

Some replays of what happened last week with Magnus & James Storm is shown, and Magnus comes out. Magnus says that he will never apologize for hitting Storm with a guitar, he will hit Storm with a million guitars, and won’t because he’s a piece of crap. Yet Magnus is the face in this. He calls out Storm and his music hits, but Abyss comes out instead and Matthews tells us that isn’t James Storm. Thank you Captain Obvious. Abyss says that Magnus attacked his leader, and he’ll pay or something like that. Abyss & Magnus then start brawling, and use this “BBQ Pitmaster” stuff from another Destination America show that was out there for some reason. They brawl for a while until Manik comes down and is immediately taken out, but then Koya runs down with that walking stick from weeks ago and beats Magnus with it and takes him down. Koya’s a lot like Teddy Roosevelt, he speaks softly and carries a big stick. Manik then gets up and beats on Magnus for a moment until he gets up and poses with Koya & Abyss. Not sure why they’re trying to make Koya look like the most dominant Revolution member.

Match #3 - Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries) vs. The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

I hate Aries coming down in a shirt instead of a cape. Makes him look generic.

This was a pretty good match like I expected. I will say that I think Aries & Roode deserve better than going after the tag titles, but the division does need some decent teams, so I guess it's alright for now. Finish comes when Eddie gets roll-up on Roode. Kind of anti-climatic, but I guess they wanted to make the match & finish look close to get some interest in future matches. But overall, good match that I’d recommend checking out.

Winners via pinfall: The Wolves

Backstage scene where Drew Galloway tells Eli Drake & Mica that Kurt only gave them two spots for the Hardcore War, and he had to make a choice, so Eli isn’t gonna be there. Yay? Kurt then comes in with Lashley & Melendez and says that this is one of the best teams he’s been part of in his entire career... Really? One of the best with the Main Event Mafia? The Angle Alliance? Team Angle from Lethal Lockdown 2007 & 2015? Whatever.

Backstage(?) scene where Taryn Terrell & the Dollhouse are shown talking about nothing. She’s talking about something she’s gonna wear for Gail’s husband but it isn’t for you (talking to the camera), so why have a camera there? She then says that she’s gonna go out and show it to everyone. What happened to it wasn’t for us?

Backstage scene where the Revolution are celebrating, and James Storm comes in and starts yelling at them that he didn’t tell them to do that and not to do anything he didn’t tell them to do. I love how the one time the Revolution does something right, Storm scolds them for it.

The Dollhouse comes out, and begins going on about some nonsense. Jade & Marti aren’t wearing shirts (only bras) and aren’t wearing real pants. Why? Taryn shows some pics of her with Gail’s daughters looking uncomfortable. She then says more nonsense that makes me want to cut my ears off and asks for the lights to be lowered, and for some reason they were and some spotlights are shown on the ring. Why does Taryn have control over this? Taryn then takes off her robe and shows off her outfit... yeah, cause this is what I watch a wrestling show for.

Gail Kim comes out and acts all angry about how personal Taryn made it? Taryn says some nonsense and proves she’s one of the worst heels I’ve ever seen. One of them (Marti I think) asks Gail, “Why so serious?” They’re making a reference to Heath Ledger’s Joker? They haven’t earned the right to do that. Marti also offers Gail a lick of her sucker, and Gail says that if Marti doesn’t shut up that she’ll stick that sucker down her (Marti’s) throat. Is that what Marti was already doing?

The whole thing breaks out into a brawl, but I’m not sure I should use that word. It was mostly Gail beating on Taryn and any time Jade & Marti tried to stop he, she effortlessly threw them to the side and went back to beating on Taryn. I thought Ultron was gonna be the least-threatening villain/bad guy I saw in anything this week, but I was proven wrong here. Why did Gail need Kong’s help to fight the Dollhouse when she seems to be having no problem on her own?

Match #4 - Robbie E vs. Jessie Godderz

So, they haven’t been seen or heard from since April 17 when a break up was set up but hadn’t officially happened, and now they’re having a match? Why? “TNA Management” thought this was the best idea, but who is TNA management anyway? Are they split up or what?

They grapple and Robbie gets a quick roll-up and gets the win. That was rather quick.

Winner via pinfall: Robbie E

Jessie gets the mic and says no one wants to see a 5 second match, so asks for another match and Robbie accepts.

Match #5 - Robbie E vs. Jessie Godderz

Match goes on a tad longer, but again Robbie gets a quick roll-up and gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Robbie E

After the match, Jessie says he wasn’t even ready as his tights were still tied and asked for one final match to determine once and for all who the better BroMan was, and Robbie accepts yet again.

Match #6 - Robbie E vs. Jessie Godderz

This match goes on for about a minute before Robbie gets another roll-up after a reversal and gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Robbie E

Afterwards, Jessie becomes p*ssed and starts going after Robbie, throws the ref out of the ring, and beats on Robbie. He continues this and it goes outside the ring, leading to him slamming Robbie’s head into the post for the ring with a chair. So, looks like the BroMans have broken up and Jessie’s the heel. Not sure why they’ve split up considering TNA needs more tag teams right now, but whatever I guess. I’m kinda curious how this turns out for both guys, but I just feel like this is gonna be a mistake. And where’s Zema?

Match #7 - Hardcore War: Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Chris Melendez, Lashley, Drew Galloway, & Mica) vs. Team Young (Eric Young, MVP, Low Ki, Kenny King, & ???)

The rules to this are that two men from each team will start off, and every 90 seconds someone new will come out until all 10 men are there, and everyone brings down a weapon of choice with them. It’s basically Lethal Lockdown or Wargames without the cage.

Galloway & Low Ki start off, and everyone next (in order) is Kenny King, Mica, Eric Young, Kurt Angle, MVP, Chris Melendez, Bram (yay!), & Lashley. Glad I was right about Bram.

The match wasn’t bad, but really wasn’t good either. It’s about what you’d expect really. It had the typical TNA thing where everyone had to hit their finisher or some move all in a row to eliminate people. And it had the “one person jumps on about everyone else outside the ring and takes them out, including people that weren’t hit” thing TNA loves. Twice. Finish comes when Eric Young hits a Piledriver on Chris Melendez. I feel like Melendez was here mostly just to take a pin.

Winners via pinfall: Team Young

After the match, Young goes after Melendez some more and takes out his fake leg. Angle then gets in there and asks him what he’s doing, and Young ends up attacking him, and the show ends with Young choking out Angle with the leg. Well, I guess Eric Young’s begun the first leg of his journey to regaining the world title.

Overall Impressions:

The show was... okay. I’m just sick of the Angle/Young, Rising/BDC, & EC3/Anderson feuds, plus the Dollhouse, so this show was kinda boring and a pain to watch. Quality wasn’t that bad, but I’m just sick of seeing a lot of this stuff. Wolves/Clean Faces was good, and I’m semi-interested in the Robbie/Jessie thing, but I can’t say I’m into much more than that. Magnus/Storm seems to be going nowhere, and other than that I just want EC3 to get his title shot. For their top heel, they’re making him way too likeable and sympathetic. So yeah, just overall a show I wasn’t too interested in. I’d recommend the Wolves/Clean Faces match, but nothing else from this show stood out to me.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.

Next week’s show:

I just wanted to discuss this before leaving. I’m not sure what’s going on with next week’s show. I heard it originally being a 3-hour PPV show, but I later heard it was just a replay of last year’s Slammiversary. But recently I heard that TNA taped a full 3-hour show that will air outside the US, but here on Destination America it will not be aired and we’ll get Slammiversary instead. I’m not entirely sure what’s true and what isn’t, but it sounds like something’s gotten screwed up. If I’m able to watch the next episode of Impact (whether it’s on TV or online) then I will review it as always. If it’s Slammiversary 2014 then I might review it but I have no guarantee that I will. I’ll depend on what I feel like then.

But, just wanted to give an update on the mess of TNA’s programming right now and what’s going on with me reviewing it. Nothing more to add, so see you.

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/8/15

Hey there everyone. I’m not in the mood to do my typical intro today, so let’s just get through this. This was advertised as a live Impact, but in reality it was on a one-hour tape delay or something like that. They were hyping up a former World Champ as the special referee for tonight, so that should be interesting.

No Al Snow on the announce team tonight, so that’s good.

No opening video tonight which was weird. Show opens with Eric Young demanding to know who the referee for tonight is, as he’s been #1 contender for 5 weeks and deserves it. Then Bully Ray’s music hits, and he comes out in a referee shirt with a leather vest over it which looked awful. He then asks if we know who he is, and he says he’s the referee for tonight.

So Bully Ray... meh. Seems kinda anti-climatic really. Don’t see the point in brining him back honestly. Seems like a waste of money. He also looks like he’s put on weight since we saw him last year.

Also, Young’s vest had some patches on the shoulders and it looked like they were eyes with how the collar came over them.

After an opening video, Ethan Carter III & Tyrus (in a very nWo-like outfit) come out. EC3 gets on the mic and says that there’s an energy in the building tonight. He then says some stuff that sounds nice but didn’t mean much, and basically got a “You Can’t wrestle/Yes he can” chant going. Mr. Anderson comes out and is very annoying, and shows up the poll results for his match with EC3. Falls Count Anywhere (which Anderson wanted) won by 85% and arm wrestling (which EC3 wanted) got 15%. Yeah, this certainly wasn’t rigged or anything.

Match #1 - Falls Count Anywhere: Ethan Carter III w/Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson

This match was okay I suppose, but nothing too memorable. I hate the way it was booked honestly. I know EC3‘s streak so far has mostly been him cheating his way through it, but he’s still been booked to be (generally) evenly matched against top guys and legends. So why is Anderson destroying him at the beginning pretty much with ease? EC3 does manage to get the advantage, but no where near as much offense as he should. He isn’t even involved in the finish at all, as all that happens is Tyrus coming in and destroying Anderson and letting EC3 pin him. Why did Anderson even want a Falls Count Anywhere match when he knew something like that could happen?

Winner via shenanigans: Ethan Carter III

The BDC comes out with awful masks. MVP gets on the mic and says that tonight Impact is live. Except it isn’t. MVP then talks about how the mask belongs to Homicide, but he isn’t here tonight as he was in the broncs and got blindsided by someone and needs shoulder surgery. He then goes on some nonsense about the government doing stuff but the crowd calling them thugs when they do it but cheer the Rising. Since when do they cheer The Rising? He then says something about “thug” being the new word for the N word. They bleeped it out obviously, but you can read his lips and tell he said it.

Drew Galloway & the Rising then come out and spout their typical nonsense. Galloway says that they had nothing to do with Homicide getting taken out, as they do their business in the ring. He then tries to say that “Homicide” isn’t exactly the nicest name and it could have been anyone... yeah Galloway, I seriously doubt his legal name is Homicide or that he goes around calling himself that. He then tries saying it could have even been Kenny King since he saw how Homicide was looking at his X-Division title last week. Since Galloway’s logic makes no sense, a challenge is then made for Galloway & MVP in a one-on-one match.

Match #2 - Drew Galloway vs. MVP

Meh. It’s a Drew Galloway match; what do you expect me to say?

My biggest thoughts for this match were “When is Marvel/Disney gonna sue over MVP’s skull logo?” Then I realize no one from Marvel or Disney watches TNA.

Galloway wins with that stupid finisher he has.

Winner via pinfall: Drew Galloway

After the match EY comes out to attack Galloway, and he beats down on the Rising with the rest of the BDC. This was completely random, but I love seeing EY randomly attack people, so I’m happy with it.

Backstage James Storm is shown arriving with a giant gift box, and he says it’s a special present for a special friend. He says that he’s like Santa and he’s just giving out gifts and that we’re gonna be upwrapping more soon. Very soon... Or whenever TNA’s writing staff remembers Strom giving this line and realizing they have loose ends to wrap up.

After commercials, Storm comes out with the giant gift box. He says that he can talk about beating people and and drinking beer and blah blah blah (his words, not mine). He says that he wants to shift the spotlight to someone else, so he wants to bring out his good friend: Mickie James. Micke’s music hits and she comes out. Storm says that he knows Mickie is transitioning her life from wrestling to motherhood, and that everyone can respect that, as without his mom, he wouldn’t know right from wrong, so god bless motherhood. Storm says that Mickie promised the fans one more match, and the time will come where she’ll give them one more match. Storm then says something about how important her music is to her, and decides to get to the point and gives Mickie her gift. She opens it and it’s a custom guitar. It’s purple and has “Mickie James” written on it and it actually looks pretty. He then says he wants to get a pic of them together and post it on his Twitter, and calls in someone from ringside with a camera and says that they’re gonna take a giant selfie right now. Is it really a selfie when you’re not the one taking the pic?

Magnus then comes out looking angry, and he doesn’t come out to his music surprisingly. Storm says that he got a gift for Magnus too, and he gives Magnus a spiked gladiator helmet. Storm then chuckles and asks if he remembers it. For those who don’t get it, when Magnus debuted in TNA back in 2009, he was “The Modern Day Gladiator” Brutus Magnus and came out in a spiked gladiator helmet like that. He was really lame and inexperienced back then, but he’s come a long way. I don’t know how many people watching even remember Magnus back then, but for a long time fan like me, I f*cking loved that.

Magnus then gets offended and walks away with Mickie, until Storm says that he also got something for Donovan (Magnus’s & Mickie’s son). He pulls out something, but I couldn’t tell what it was exactly. Storm says that Donovan can wear it and can be told it came from Uncle James. Magnus then gets angry and walks back into the ring, grabs the guitar, and hits Storm in the had with it before walking off again. The camera zooms in on Storm’s face and just shows a smile. Seems like that was just there just to remind/hint to us Storm is still a heel. Yet Magnus looks pretty heelish at the same time here...

You know what? I could b*tch about this scene, but I’m not going to. TNA is at least trying to do something interesting with this storyline, and they are keeping me interested in what happens. That and James Storm can make just about anything work, and he’s giving this storyline his all, so he deserves credit and respect there. So yeah, keep it up TNA. I want to see where this story is going.

Also, I wonder what Manik, Abyss, & Koya think when watching this. Is the Revolution even a thing anymore?

Backstage Eric Young & the BDC are talking, and MVP asks EY what he was doing out there. EY says something about how he wants

Backstage BDC/EY scene. “Yo man, what are we doin? I thought we were done with Looney Toons”

Match #3 - The Dollhouse (Taryn Terrell, Jade, & Marti Belle) vs. Gail Kim & Awesome Kong

THIS is what they open up the second hour with? You want people to switch channels, don’t you TNA?

The match was just not good. Jade is hot but just not good in-ring so far, Marti doesn’t even have the hot thing going for her, and I’ve never been impressed by Taryn. I’ve seen Gail carry Taryn before and I’ve seen her carry people like Brooke to passable/decent matches, but you know you suck when Gail can’t do that for you, and she couldn't do that for Jade or Marti here. Dollhouse wins after Taryn gets a roll-up on Gail. Who cares?

Winners via roll-up: The Dollhouse

After the match Marti gets caught between Gail & Kong in the ring while Taryn & Jade are on the outside, and they both beat up Marti. First off, that seemed very heelish of them. Secondly, she even sold Kong's Implant Buster poorly. How the hell is that even possible?

Matt Hardy comes out and talks about how Jeff got injured in a dirtbike accident and they are forced to vacate the TNA World Tag Team Championships. Matt says that it’s time for him to go away and think about what’s next for Matt Hardy and walks away. They actually showed video of Jeff getting injured before this scene, and I have to ask... Jeff, what the f*ck is wrong with you? It’s one level of crazy to even do stunts like that, but if that’s what you’re into then fine. But you’re under contract to TNA as a reigning champion there yet you do sh*t like that? You just f*cked up their entire tag team division now, and (if my guesses are correct) the world title scene. This is nowhere near as bad as the Victory Road 2011 debacle, but it’s a good display of why Jeff can’t be trusted with anything. Just f*ck you Jeff Hardy, I hope you never recover and are forced to retire. Now please break something that prevents us from having to hear you speak.

After that, the Clean Faces (Austin Aries & Bobby Roode) come out. I know TNA calls them the Dirty Heels, but as I said before, that name makes no sense currently, so I call them the Clean Faces. Aries gets the mic and says that he has some unfinished business with EY, but he promised Angle that he wouldn’t lay a hand on Young until after their match, but he will have revenge after this. Aries says that it seems like the tag titles are cursed, as whoever gets them has to vacate them, but that’s an opportunity. He then hypes the two of them up about how great they are, they are two of the most dominant world champions in TNA history (Roode, sure. Aries? Absolutely not), and held the tag team title and didn’t get injured. He then says that they’re the greatest tag team in the world today, which causes The Wolves’ music to hit and Davey Richards comes out.

Davey then comes out and honestly was boring (but I’m used to it). He basically talked about how great The Wolves are and that they’re the greatest tag team in wrestling today, and Aries points out that Eddie Edwards is still injured. Davey then welcomes back Eddie, who comes out with no crutches or anything and seems to be completely healed. Great news to me. They then talk more without actually saying anything, and basically agree to a best 3 out of 5 series to determine who the better team is. They didn’t specifically say it that I noticed, but I’m pretty sure they’re for the tag titles. Okay scene. Not too interesting, but it does set up their upcoming matches which should be pretty great. Anyone got any predictions on who gets injured next? My money’s on Roode.

Backstage Matt Hardy is leaving the arena, but is stopped by Drew Galloway. He basically says some nonsense to Matt about how they’re both great and how they believe in the same thing, and something about thinking it through or something... I don’t know. Do I look like I pay attention to Galloway? It felt like Galloway was trying to manipulate him into joining the Rising like Storm did for the Revolution.

Angelina Love comes out and starts talking about how great she thinks she is. She then lists stuff that people have been asking her on Twitter, like what she thinks about the break-up of the BroMans (I’m curious about that myself since we haven’t seen or heard from them in weeks) & what she thinks about Kim & Kong teaming up for the first time ever. I’d like to know what she thinks of this crazy new invention called “food”. Velvet Sky is then shown in the crowd and she gets into the ring. She has a whole new look and she doesn’t pull it off well. Angelina just says more random stuff to her while Velvet is quiet. Clearly she’s been taking mic skill lessons off of Awesome Kong. Eventually Velvet hits an awful spear on her and tries beating on her until security comes out and pulls her off. Storyline wise Velvet was fired so she shouldn’t be here, so why didn’t they come out sooner? Why did this scene even happen? No one cares about ANOTHER Velvet/Angelina feud, and no one cares about Velvet in general. After 8 years she’s still complete sh*t in the ring and they’ve done everything they can with her, so there’s nothing more to do with her other than a nostalgia act with Angelina. This hopefully is just a short thing and not a full-time return.

Match #4 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship, Special Referee Bully Ray: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Eric Young

Matthews said that if something ever happened to Captain America, that Kurt Angle could be an Avenger as he’s a cyborg, a machine, an Olympic Gold Medalist, and has the most reigns as and is the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. I’m not sure where to begin questioning that statement first.

There was a point where Angle & Young were trading punches, and the way the camera kept changing when they were hitting made me feel like I was watching Adam West Batman. All that was missing was the “Biff” or “Pow” every time someone was punched.

The match was... eh. What do you expect from a modern day Kurt Angle match? The BDC came out to ringside at one point and didn’t do anything at first, but Young kicked Ray in the groin and knocked him down, allowing the BDC to beat down Angle. But then Chris Melendez (???) comes out and starts trying to fight them off, then they’re followed by the Rising who chase off the BDC. Why was Chris Melendez here? He hasn’t been seen since February, and before that not since last fall. Matt Hardy would have made more sense based on what we saw earlier with him & Galloway. Heck, Rockstar Spud would have made more sense based on him getting screwed out of the X-Division title last week.

Anyway, Young tries hitting a piledriver on Bully at one point for some reason, but Ray reserves it. Young & Angle then keep going back and forth until Angle is finally able to get him to tap out. If I had to guess, I’d assume this is now the end of the feud. I’m wondering why they brought back Bully though; did this match need a special referee? There was no storyline reason for it, and Bully as the ref didn’t seem to set up any future stories or anything. Just seems like a really odd decision.

Winner via submission: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Wasn’t a huge fan of this show. I’ve seen far worse, but there just wasn’t much memorable here. For a “live” Impact I expected a surprise or two, but we got pretty much nothing (Bully & Velvet don’t count). I’d rather his a logically booked show (by TNA standards) than a bunch of surprises & swerves, but still seemed weird. But besides that, none of the matches stand out and the only promos I really liked were the short one from EC3 earlier and Storm giving Magnus the helmet. Still, this show wasn’t too bad, and I am interested in where things go from here, so that’s good. I also think EC3 should officially be considered the #1 contender at this point, so we’ve got that to look forward to if he is. But as for this show, it was just overall underwhelming and unmemorable.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of tonight’s show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you later.

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/1/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the May 1, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. Hard to believe it’s already May, as the debut show on Destination America doesn’t seem that long ago. Anyway, tonight’s show was a special themed Impact “Hardcore Justice”. This really got me excited as TNA never does a themed Impact. So this was a really rare and surprising this to do. Anyway, let’s just start the review.

Now, they finally got a replacement for Taz on the announce crew, and it’s Al Snow. I wasn’t looking forward to this, and I was right to not be. He was not good. I’ve heard worse, but that’s not saying much. Anyway, now let’s really start the review.

Match #1 - Street Fight: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) & Davey Richards vs. The Revolution (Abyss, Koya, & Manik)

Match already starts with all 6 guys fighting on the entrance ramp as soon as the show starts. The match was okay I guess. Hardcore wrestling doesn’t interest me too much anymore, so that kinda hurt my opinion on the match. And the match could get a bit hard to follow with so many guys fighting all over the place. But it wasn’t bad at all, so I can’t complain too much. It also featured that

Finish comes when Jeff hits the Swanton on Abyss, getting the win.

Winners via pinfall: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) & Davey Richards

After the match James Storm come sout and gets in Abyss’s face to yell at him, and actually slaps him this time.

Backstage with Matthews & Snow.

Backstage scene where Mr. Anderson is asked why he interrupted Ethan Carter III’s campaign announcement last week. Simple, it’s because he’s a bigger buzz kill than Buzz Killington.

He then talks about how boring the whole thing was last week and how he has his own sign and announcement he’s gonna make tonight. Maybe he’ll explain why he’s dressed so horribly? I think he’s trying to look like he’s running for office, but he just looks like some guy in mid-management in some sort of office job.

Announcement of Billy Corgan signing. They hype up how famous he is and all the recording stuff he’s done. But what does any of that have to do with running a wrestling company? Seriously, I don’t have any thoughts on this either way. I’m interested in what he’ll do as part of the creative team and it should be nice to have a fresh mind there, but he could easily fail. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Mr. Anderson comes out (in a different tie) and starts complaining about EC3‘s campaign announcement last week. He says that he doesn’t care about campaigns, and he cares about EC3 getting his @ss whopped. Just as he’s about to pull a sheet off a sign he has out, EC3‘s music interrupts and he comes out with Tyrus, who’s holding a great “EC3 2015 for Champ“ sign. Crowd didn’t react much to Anderson coming out, but EC3 got a great reaction which I liked seeing.

EC3 says that it sucks when someone comes out and interrupts a speech. EC3 says that he originated the idea of brining politics into wrestling and that the idea can never been copied or duplicated. Anderson asks EC3 if he wants to be the World Champ, and EC3 says yes, and Anderson says to go win it then. Anderson asks EC3 if he feels he should be champion because he’s undefeated, and EC3 says yes and that his undefeated streak is his most prized possession and he will never lose it. Anderson then takes the sheet off his sign, revealing it to say “Mr. Anderson Break the Streak” with a pic of EC3 with the crossed out logo over him. EC3 says to Anderson, “You will be nothing but a footnote on my rise to champion... champion.” That was awesome. Anderson says that on the live Impact next week, the match between them should happen, and that they’re gonna let the fans vote for the match type. EC3 says that they both know democracy doesn’t work, but if this is what it’ll take to shut him up, then fine, and warns him to “tread lightly”. Okay scene, but Anderson is annoying nowadays and needs to go away.

Also, a “USA” chant broke out when all people involved are American. Gotta love the Orlando crowd.

Match #2 - Ladder match for TNA X-Division Championship: Rockstar Spud (c) vs. Mark Andrews vs. Tigre Uno vs. Kenny King

What’s Tigre or Anderews won to get a title match? Kenny did pin Spud in a tag match a few weeks ago, but Andrews has been non-existent for a while, and when’s the last time Tigre won a match?

Decent match. Was a bit of a spotfest, but I thought it was a fun & enjoyable match. All guys did some impressive spots, my favorites being from Kenny & Tigre. Finish comes when Spud almost has the belt, but Homicide runs out and takes him out. Kenny then climbs up the ladder and gets the belt, winning the title. I’m happy with this move honestly. I like Spud, but his underdog character really doesn’t let him hold a title for a long time since he won’t be an underdog if he holds it too long. And as I’ve said in the past, I really like Kenny King and have wanted him to get more of a push, so an X-Division title run is nice to see. Hope he’ll use Option C, though I doubt it. Still great to see though.

Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: Kenny King

It’s announced what the poll options are for next week’s EC3/Anderson match. Anderson wants a Falls Count Anywhere match, while EC3 wants an Arm Wrestling match, and you can vote at impactwrestling.com I went to vote (for Arm Wrestling obviously), and they didn’t show the poll results, which makes me think this is rigged. Still hoping for Arm Wrestling, but I doubt it unfortunately.

Video package for what’s been going on with Eric Young & Kurt Angle is shown. Shows how uninterested the feud is really.

Eric Young comes out with a stretcher. There’s not much to talk about this scene at all really. He’s just there to talk about what he’s gonna do to Kurt tonight in their stretcher match and just hype that up. Really feels like this was only done to fill some time. Also, I hate when crowds chant "What?" repeatedly during a promo. I have no clue when/where that originated, but it needs to stop.

Backstage the BDC is celebrating Kenny King’s X-Division title win. MVP says that the rumors of their demise have been greatly exaggerated, and something about Drew Galloway. He hands a pipe to Low Ki and says that this started with this (the pipe) in the UK and tonight Ki will finish this with it.

Spud is being talked to backstage and he’s very upset about losing the X-Division title. He talks about how guys like AJ Styles, Jerry Lynn, Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Austin Aries, & Frankie Kazarian have held that belt and that if you were on that list (of guys who held it), you were one of the greatest of all time. Really? You do know that Robbie E, Brian Kendrick, Abyss, Amazing Red, & Homicide have held that belt, right? I don’t even have anything against those guys (I’m actually a fan of Robbie, and used to be a fan of Red when he was active), but they’re not one of the greatest of all time. Also, Spud is still on the list of guys who held it, so his problems makes no sense. I can understand him being upset about losing the title, but he should have worded this better.

Video package with Taryn Terrell & the Dollhouse, and they still make no sense. Taryn also just sounds terrible as a heel. Are we gonna get an explanation behind this group and Taryn joining it, or are we just supposed to accept it happened? I was hoping for something tonight, but this video would have been the place to do it and they didn’t.

Match #3 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Brooke

I was gonna complain about Brooke’s entrance since all she does is walk to the ring and shake her @ss to the camera, but that’s MUCH more appealing than the Dollhouse’s entrance. First off, do we need that “Dollhouse Production” video showing us all the members and saying “It’s Playtime” before they come out? And why do they do that twirling thing? What is the Dollhouse supposed to be anyway? Creepy I guess, but what actually are they? We’ve gotten no explanation for this stable yet. Even the Menagerie got an explanation, but not this group that they’re trying to push as relevant?

The match was terrible. Before I predicted this as the worst match of the year, and it’s easily a contender (for TNA at least). Some sort of shenanigans happen and Taryn gets the win, and for some reason the way she pinned Brooke seemed very sexual. Taryn, I don’t care what you do in your personal life, but can you keep this type of stuff off-screen and just do a normal pin?

Winner via shenanigans and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrell

After the match, the Dollhouse attack Brooke and Taryn gets the mic. Oh god, this is always the kiss of death. Taryn talks about how Kong couldn’t beat her, how Brooke couldn’t beat her (because that’s an accomplishment apparently), and how no one can beat her. As anyone could predict, Gail Kim comes out and says some generic stuff. Mic work has never been Gail’s strong suit, and that was showed perfectly here. Once again as anyone would predict, she ends up bringing out Awesome Kong, and those two are gonna team up to fight the Dollhouse. This seems really rushed. You could have had Gail fight Taryn and lose, leading to her realizing she needs help and calls in Kong. That’s about 3-4 more weeks they could have dragged this out, but the way they did here seems rushed.

Video package for the Rising. Still has that awful yellow tint to it that makes it look like they have jaundice. I’m here to stand up for good lighting!

Match #4 - Pipe on a Pole match - Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway

Been a while since I’ve seen a pole match. Rules to this are that there’s a pole set up with a pipe hanging from the top of it. Whoever grabs it is allowed to use it, but they didn’t explain whether you won by hitting your opponent with the pipe, if you win by pinning/making the other submit, or what the rules are. We later saw a pinfall attempt before someone grabbed the pipe, which makes you question why it was even necessary.

The match was okay. Probably the best Galloway match I’ve seen so far, but that’s not saying much. There’s a spot where Ki & Galloway are fighting over the pipe on the rope, and it gets knocked off and falls on the floor. Always laugh when little stuff like that happens. Galloway later on gets the pipe, and tries to use it but isn’t able to as Ki stops it. After a few more minutes of fighting, Galloway hits his weird DDT finisher on Ki on a chair and gets the win. So, a pipe on a pole match doesn’t actually involve a pipe being used at all? What kind of sense does that make?

Winner via pinfall: Drew Galloway

After the match the BDC comes out and attacks Galloway, but the Rising comes out and chases them off. Yeah, certainly didn’t see that one coming.

Video package of everything with James Storm & Mickie James is shown, and for some reason they show shots of Mickie walking in a field. Why? She looks lost and like she doesn’t know where she’s going. They also show a random shot of Storm walking in a cemetery, but at least he looks like a complete bad@ss when he does it.

They show a scene from earlier in the week where Mickie & James ran across each other in a parking lot (for a grocery store I think). The camera work reminds me of an old Paparazzi Productions video. Wish I was watching one of those right now instead of this. They talk for a moment and Storm asks to hold her baby, which he does. “There’s always room for one more in the Revolution.” He didn’t actually say it unfortunately, but I wish he had.

Magnus comes out to talk, but just as he starts James Storm’s music interrupts. They have a segment that just isn’t very good. I like both guys and know they can be great on the mic, but this storyline just isn’t very good. Magnus is complaining about Storm following Mickie around and using the crowd to manipulate her last week, while Storm talks about how paranoid Magnus is (or something) and how he’s having people follow Mickie around and film her, and something about Magnus should be discussing this with Mickie. Yeah, not a great scene. Both guys are capable of much more.

Angle is backstage and says some stuff where he tries to sound threatening to EY about the stretcher match tonight. He talked about how tonight Young is gonna see a fired up & angry Kurt Angle, but Angle just doens’t show the anger or intensity he used to and this just didn’t work. I was more focused on Kurt’s odd t-shirt this whole thing than what he was saying.

Match #5 - Stretcher match: Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle

This is a non-title match, but any reason why? Young’s ranked #1 in the Impact Top 5, so he’s the #1 contender and should get a title shot. Don’t get why he isn’t especially since he didn’t get it last week.

The match was okay I guess. Not much stands out really. I give them credit for being unpredictable as I expected an Austin Aries run in and it didn’t happen. Finish comes when Young beats Angle enough that Angle can’t fight back at all, so Young straps him to the stretcher and wins. He then grabs the title belt and puts it on Kurt for some reason. I’m still just confused why this wasn’t a title match, but I don’t feel like going into it more.

Winner: Eric Young

Overall Impressions:

This show was okay I guess. Wasn’t bad, but wasn’t that great either. Not much good in-ring aside from the ladder match, and really no promos stick out either. Still, it did keep me interested at least, which is more than some of the earlier Orlando shows did this year. I am looking forward to next week’s “live” show, so it’s good TNA got me looking forward to that. But as far as this show goes, it was just alright.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of tonight’s show and/or the review in the comments.

And I’m not sure if you’ve seen these yet or not, but TNA has had these uploaded to their youtube channel and I loved them, so I’m gonna share them here:

#ec3forCHAMP

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/24/15

Hey there guys and girls. I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the April 27, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. This show is supposed to be a Knockouts themed show called “TKO”, which initially made me not excited about it, but they kept announcing more stuff that had nothing to do with the Knockouts, so it shouldn’t be all bad. Anyway, let’s start the show and review.

Also, for anyone curious, Josh Matthews is doing the commentary by himself again this week.

Kurt Angle opens the show and says that he’s scheduled to defend the world title against Eric Young tonight, and says that what he’s about to do is necessary so he calls out EY, who then comes out. Angle says that he made a plea about the old Eric Young returning, putting aside this lunatic and becoming the old Eric Young that the fans love and won the world title (and grabbed the old world title belt out of a trash can). Angle says that he wants to make sure who he’s fighting tonight. EY says that people have called him crazy his whole life, but that crazy led to the world title. EY says some more stuff that really wasn’t interesting, and basically says that tonight Kurt will be facing the “real” Eric Young.

Austin Aries’s music hits, and he comes out with the Feast or Fired briefcase. He basically says that the “real” Eric Young is the guy who turned his back on his best friend and cost him the world title. He then says some more stuff that wasn’t interesting and really weak for Aries standards, and basically says that tonight it won’t be Young/Angle for the title tonight, as he’s cashing in for the main event and it’s gonna be Angle/Aries as they put on “the greatest world title match in the history of our industry” (maybe 5 years ago they could have, but now, just no) and he will walk out as the world champion.

Wasn’t a big fan of this opening. While I like seeing Angle & Young feud since it’s something new, I don’t like this “old Eric Young” stuff. And Aries cashing in is stupid. Why would he announce ahead of time when he’s cashing in? Hasn’t his character shown to be smarter than this? And why does him cashing in stop EY from getting the title shot? He’s still the #1 contender. Shouldn’t EY then immediately face the winner of Angle/Aries? While thing just doesn’t make sense to me.

Taryn Terrell is backstage and says some really cringeworthy stuff. She sounds like a young kid playing wrestling than an actual wrestler.

Match #1 - Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Brooke vs. Madison Rayne

Madison attacks Brooke as she’s walking up the entrance ramp, which I always like seeing. The match was... bleh. Not the worst match ever, but it’s what you’d expect and not memorable at all. Only one moment I even really remember which was all four women putting each other in submissions all at once. Brooke wins after hitting some move on Madison. Does anyone care?

Winner via something: Brooke

Video for the Rising. It was terrible as expected, but they had a yellow tint to the video for some reason which looks terrible.

Backstage someone asks Eric Young asks him how he feels about not fighting for the world title tonight. EY says he hates it and that everything has been taken from him or something like that. Yeah, everything’s been taken from him. Including his sleeves.

Match #2 - Rising Member vs. BDC Member

This is basically one Rising member (who we’re not aware of yet) against one BDC member (who we’re not aware of yet). The BDC’s flags are really out of place for the group, but the Rising’s music is terrible, so the BDC are still better. MVP ends up cutting a forgettable promo, and basically agrees to a one-on-one match against the Rising’s member, who’s revealed to be Mica. MVP says he just wants to take his sweats off, and starts to do it, before he & Low Ki attack Drew Galloway & Eli Drake and Kenny King goes after Mica. MVP says that he said a one-on-one match, but he never said against him. I thought that was pretty cool honestly.

So, it’s Mica vs. Kenny King. The match was... bleh. When Kenny King has problems getting a good match out of you, you know you have problems. Mica wins, but I honestly don’t even remember how. TNA needs to stop treating Kenny like a jobber.

Winner via something: Mica

Some other stuff happens and Homicide runs down and the Rising are beaten down or something like that.

Backstage Drake & Mica are carrying Galloway on his shoulders, and he says that he’s still standing up... even though he isn’t and is being carried. He then challenges Low Ki to a pipe on a poll match on next week’s show, which is yet another f*cking themed Impact, this one being Hardcore Justice. Galloway says that he already knows Ki accepts, and I guess the match is happening next week. So, a pipe on a pole match? Sounds very Russo-ish. I remember last year when they had James Storm/Gunner in a Briefcase on a Pole match I thought Russo was back, and I was proven to be right. So, if it’s announced within the next few months that Russo is back in TNA, I want you to remember that I told you.

Match #3 - Jade w/Marti Belle vs. Laura Dennis

Jade & Marti are the Dollhouse that we’ve seen weird videos for the past few weeks. Laura Dennis is known as Cherry Bomb on the indies and is pretty well-liked from what I’ve seen, and I believe Jade is known as Mia Yim (not 100% sure on that one though). The Dollhouse get angry at Hemme when she announced them as “Jade with Marti” and force her to say “the Dollhouse.” Not very original.

The match was... worse than the first one. I was not impressed at all. Neither of them looked that good to me. Jade is attractive, but so’s a lot of wrestlers; that doesn’t make them good. Laura didn’t impress me much either. I'd rather be watching the TV show Dollhouse, which is hard to believe coming from me.

Winner via DQ: Laura Dennis

After the match the Dollhouse get angry at Hemme for some reason and attack and beat her up. I’d feel more sorry for her if I didn’t know she was a trained wrestler that knew how to take bumps. But then again, even as an active wrestler Hemme never had any business being there.

Backstage Kurt Angle comes and talks to Eric Young, and says some boring stuff basically saying that he’s sorry Young isn’t getting the title shot tonight, while Young says he’s not even sure he wants to be there and walks off. Okay I guess.

Magnus comes out, because when I think of the knockouts I certainly think of Magnus. He says some stuff that reminds us how much better he is as a heel (and I liked him as a face in 2013, but this current run isn’t that great). He calls out someone not as his fiance or the mother of his wife, but one of the greatest female performers of all time.... then calls out Mickie James. Not sure what those things have to do with each other. Mickie says some generic sh*t about her career and basically gives a retirement speech, only for James Storm to interrupt for some reason. He then says some out of character stuff about how great Mickie is, and it eventually boils down to him getting her to agree to one more match. It was really dragged out for far too long. I am kinda curious to see where this goes, but it’s still so random that I can’t react much to it. Why are they brining Mickie into Magnus’s feuds? He’d be much better without her.

After commercials, we see a scene from backstage during them where Magnus walked up and saw Davey Richards, who warned him that Storm is the devil and not to trust him. Gee, the guy betrayed his parter, brutally attacks people with beer bottles, brainwashes people to join his cult, and injures people and brags about it isn’t a good person? What would we do without you Davey? Surely you’re even better than Sherlock Holmes when it comes to this stuff.

Match #4 - Davey Richards vs. Manik

Not much to say about this match, but it was pretty damn good. Manik is probably the most underrated talent in TNA right now (along with Kenny King & DJ Z). Manik also got a nice chant going. Maybe if TNA started to try doing something with him he could get really over and they could try to push him. But still a good match, though I wish it had more time. Davey gets the win here as expected.

Winner: Davey Richards

After the match The Revolution run down to attack Davey, but the Hardys come out to run them off. It’s about as interesting as it sounds.

Backstage we see Ethan Carter III & Tyrus, who’s wearing a nice hat and holding some balloons. EC3 is saying that tonight he’s making his announcement. Looking forward to it.

EC3 & Tyrus then comes out and gets a great reaction from the crowd. On Twitter he’s been hyping up an announcement for this show with the hashtag #EC32015, which I have now begun using on here. He comes out and there’s a podium in the ring for him to stand behind. This segment was just so good that I don’t know how to talk about it. It’s a segment I absolutely loved and recommend finding and watching, but I don’t want to go into huge details to ruin it for you. So it’s going to seem short and underwhelming with what I say, but trust me when I say it’s better than how I describe it.

EC3 basically says that 2015 is the year that he will become TNA World Heavyweight Champion, and basically treats the whole thing like he’s running for president (I guess). He goes over his credentials of going 19 months undefeated, beating every TNA Hall of Famer, etc. He continues on like this and is just generally awesome until Mr. Anderson comes out and ruins it by interrupting. He says something about EC3 doesn’t deserve the world title as he hasn’t done anything himself, and that titles are earned through blood, sweat, hard work, etc. Even though Anderson’s two title wins in TNA came by interference. Guess we’re just gonna ignore that fact. Anderson also mentions that he wrestled for 11 years before becoming champion, ignoring that EC3 has been wrestling for 11 years. They end up getting into a brawl, and EC3 ends up running off. I don’t like EC3 running away from Anderson, and Anderson is annoying anymore, but other than that this was a great scene. Easily the best scene of the night for me.

Backstage scene where Magnus walks up to someone (I guess a production guy) and asks him to keep an eye on Mickie for her, which he says he’ll do. So, Magnus is having someone stalk his fiance now? To quote Spike, “Sending your lackeys to do your stalking for you? That is really pathetic.”

Match #5 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Awesome Kong

Before the bell rings, Taryn wants to make it a no disqualification match, and it’s officially made a no DQ match. I guess Taryn somehow got the ability to book matches now? The ref did turn to Kong though and she didn’t object, so I guess that’s why?

Anyway, the match was short and pretty much nothing notable happened until the end. A table was set up in the ring and Taryn tried to put Kong through it with a cutter... can wrestlers please stop using a cutter as a finisher unless they’re Diamond Dallas Page? They can still use it, just stop making a big deal out of it like they do with Taryn. Anyway, Kong reverses it and gets Taryn on the table and goes to the top rope, but the Dollhouse comes out and starts beating Kong with Kendo Sticks. Taryn gets off the table and ends up powerbombing her through it, then pins and beats her. She then cuts a heel promo that was awful and is now part of the Dollhouse. They then celebrate. Well, this seems very Russo-ish. Did Taryn form the Dollhouse, or did she just join them? Why did Taryn turn heel when she was already doing successfully as a face? I understand that Taryn had problems beating Kong and needed some help, but there’s still some questions from this whole thing that we likely won’t get answers to. Also, does this make Kong a face?

Regardless, Taryn still isn’t that good in the ring and is terrible on the mic, and looks like she’ll be even more terrible as a heel. Taryn Terrell? More like Taryn Terrible, am I right? Okay, that was lame even for me.

Winner via swerve and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrible (I’ll stop now)

Match #6 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Austin Aries

My clock says 10:55 PM, meaning we’ve only got 5 minutes left in the show, so some sort of shenanigans are gonna happen obviously. And I’m proven correct as after Aries gets into the ring, Young immediately comes out and attacks him. He then keeps brutally beating on him and gets him outside the ring, and hits the Piledriver on him on the steel steps. Luckily Aries’s cape got in the way, so we couldn’t see when Aries’s head didn’t actually hit the steps. Bobby Roode tries to run down, but Young takes him down with one hit. Angle then comes out and tries to stop Young, but Young beats down on him too, takes his leg brace off, beats his leg with a chair, and locks in the figure four. Decent way to end the show; makes Young look good. Though the match never actually started, so I don’t think Aries officially cashed in. Young should have waited till the match started to run down, then Aries would have cashed in and wouldn’t have the case afterwards, yet Young still would have beaten him up.

Overall Impressions:

I feel like I should really be hating this show, as I think that’s the impression I gave. I only liked one match, and most segments I didn’t seem to care for (I clearly liked the EC3 segment and the Angle/Young stuff was okay), but I really didn’t hate this show. I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t bad at all and I enjoyed watching it, even if the quality wasn’t that high. I honestly don’t know what to say about this show overall since it’s confusing me. I’d recommend trying to find the EC3 segment, Davey/Manik, and possibly the final segment, but other than that you didn’t miss too much from this show if you didn’t watch it. Just remember what I said about Russo.

Anyway, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the show and/or the review in the comments below. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.

#EC32015

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/17/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the April 17, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. After a few weeks of really average and boring shows, how would TNA do tonight when crowning new tag team champions? Let’s start the review and find out.

Josh Matthews is doing commentary by himself tonight, as Taz is “on special assignment” according to Matthews. I laughed when I heard this. For those who don’t know, Taz left TNA earlier this week, so he wasn’t here tonight and we won’t being seeing him again. I didn’t hate Taz or anything, but I was never really a fan and can’t say I’ll miss him.

Match #1 - The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) vs. The Revolution (James Storm & Koya)

Remember everyone, Jeff & Matt have never been TNA World Tag Team Champions. I can understand how you’d miss that little fact since it’s not like TNA beats you over the head with it every chance they get. Manik & Abyss don’t come out with the Revolution which I thought was weird, but maybe Storm is still angry at them since he feels they failed him?

As for the match... meh. Kinda short really. Definitely the weakest match of the night. This was the first real match I’ve seen with Koya, and he looked... okay I guess. Clearly needs more experience before being allowed to have more real matches. Putting him in tag stuff like this though is a good way for him to get experience while keeping his ring time limited. Anyway, Hardys win after Jeff ducks the Last Call and Storm hits Koya, then Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Storm to get the win. Can’t say I’m happy with this result, but I expected it, so I’m not disappointed or anything.

Winners via pinfall: The Hardys

After the match Storm is yelling at Koya and slapping him for the loss. Why does he do this to every Revolution member except Abyss?

Jeremy Borash is n the entrance ramp to talk to the Hardys after their win, and Jeff says it’s been over 8 years since they’ve been tag team champions and Matt says that tonight they will fufill their destiny and become TNA World Tag Team Champions for the first time. Wait, Jeff & Matt have never been TNA Tag Team Champions? Who would have guessed? Can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned before.

Eric Young is backstage and says that he wants his title shot. He says that he deserves it and that Angle will find out what happens when you mess with him, just like Lashley did last week. When you mess with Eric Young, he takes advantage of an injury that someone else caused and does a kind of underwhelming beat down that somehow injures you? Go Young?

After commercials, Eric Young comes down to the ring dressed in a Kurt Angle shirt. I actually like how Young wears shirts with the person he’s feuding with. Young says that he isn’t a person to be messed with and isn’t happy, as Kurt Angle is ducking him... somehow. He says that he wants his title shot and is the #1 contender and that everyone saw what he did to Lashley last week. Already make a bad joke about that above, so no need to repeat myself.

Kurt Angle’s music interrupts and he comes out. Angle says that Young has been calling him out every day the past week all over social media, but Young should be talking to him face to face. How was Young supposed to do that exactly? Kurt live sit Pittsburg and EY lives in Nashville (I think). Was Young supposed to go to Pittsburg to talk to Kurt face to face, or was Young supposed to just do nothing all week and talk to Kurt backstage at the show tonight? I know this was all taped and everything, but TNA wants to keep the illusion that it’s happening each week, so I have to question stuff like this. Anyway, Young says that Kurt has something that belongs to him (the world title) and that Angle can be beaten and hurt by him (that line was rather lame). Angle says that Young has turned into a lunatic (it’s why we love him) and that he was a good person once. EY just says that the title was stolen from him and he wants it back (Young, be more original with your lines please). Angle says that Young will get his title shot next week, but he wants to face the old Eric Young in a straight up match. So, Kurt wants to face Super Eric?

Yes, this was a thing.

Or are you talking about evil foreigner World Elite Eric Young? Or are you talking about crazy comedy Eric Young that was pantsing referees, going after Scott Baio, and married to ODB? Cause if it’s either of those, you won’t be getting a straight up match. And has Eric Young gone through more repackages over the years than any wrestler ever? I haven’t even come close to listing all of them here.

Angle says that EY can fight him fairly or he can be a coward and attack him from behind his back. Angle then turns his back to EY, and EY gets in Angle’s face and says he’ll see him next week. This scene would be cooler had James Storm not done this exact same thing to Angle a few years back.

Backstage Kenny King & Low Ki are cornering Rockstar Spud and telling him that he’s just keeping the X-Division title warm for one of them. ONE of them? Kenny King actually cares about the X-Division title? Where did this come from!?! Mr. Anderson then comes in and makes sure he’s fine. Boring scene really.

Match #2 - Spunderson (Mr. Anderson & Rockstar Spud) vs. The Beat Down Clan (Kenny King & Low Ki)

Yeah, they’re not actually called Spunderson, but someone has to name these tag teams if TNA isn’t going to.

BDC attacks Spud while Anderson is distracted with his self-announcing thing, which I thought was cool. BDC spends most of he match double-teaming on Spud, which makes sense I guess. Leads to stuff where Anderson keeps trying to get into stop it, but the ref keeps him from getting in since he’s not the legal man so Kenny & Ki can team on Spud some more. Eventually Anderson gets annoyed enough that he runs in and takes out both of them, and when the ref is telling him to get out of the ring, he rolls Spud over to the apron and tags himself in. That was a pretty cool moment to me.

Overall the match was pretty decent. Nothing amazing, but decent. King ends up pinning Spud after Ki hit the Warrior’s Way, and gets the pin while Ki keeps Anderson from being able to break it up.

Winners via pinfall: The Beat Down Clan

Backstage we get a segment with ETHAN CARTER III AND BRAM!!! :D EC3 says that tonight he will wet his appetite for championship gold with the tag titles and that they will beat Tigre Uno and... “his partner”. Before EC3 can say much more, Bram interrupts and starts saying that he is the one that is unstoppable and that tonight he is going to rip Tigre Uno’s mask off his face and shove it down his throat. EC3 stands there in silence for a moment before saying, “Great. Just make sure we win the match first.” Bram says that he just wants to hurt people as he walks away. EC3 looks at Tyrus and says that Bram is losing his mind and he (EC3) will reap all the benefits. F*CKING AWESOME scene and we need more of these two together every week.

Backstage we have a segment with the BDC (GET TO THE EC3/BRAM MATCH ALREADY!) and MVP congratulates Kenny & Ki on their win tonight. He then tells Homicide that he wants him to take care of some unfinished business: Kurt Angle. Homicide asks MVP if that means he’s gonna wrestle Kurt, and MVP says that he wants Homicide to fight Kurt. Homicide then gets it and starts walking off. So, Homicide and no one else is gonna be taking care of Kurt Angle? Seems a bit underwhelming.

Match #3 - Mask Effect (Tigre Uno & Jay Rios) vs. Awesomeness (Ethan Carter III & Bram) w/Tyrus

Jay Rios is making his debut in this match. Never seen him before this. Mask Effect isn’t their actual name, but as I said before, someone has to name these teams if TNA isn’t going to. And Awesomeness is the only thing to describe or summarize EC3 & Bram.

The match was pretty enjoyable. EC3 & Bram were great as expected. Tigre Uno was great (he’s a guy who I feel is pretty underrated and really underused by TNA), and Jay Rios looked pretty good. Not amazing, but he certainly put on a good performance and was decent. Not sure if Rios is a full signing or just a one time deal, but I’d like to see him & Tigre become a regular team. Finish comes when Bram hits the Brighter Side of Suffering on Rios, but EC3 tags himself in and quickly steals the win. Loved the finish, and I enjoyed the match. Like I said, I’d really like to see Tigre & Rios become a regular team.

Winners via pinfall: Ethan Carter III & Bram

Afterwards Bram is p*ssed about EC3 stealing the win like that, but Tyrus gets in his face to keep Bram from doing anything while EC3 celebrates.

Next up is some segment hyping up a big Knockouts announcement. Christy Hemme calls out all the Knockouts, and most of them come out (Gail Kim, Taryn Terrell, Angelina Love, Madison Rayne, & Brooke). Awesome Kong doesn’t though. And Havok & Rebel don’t come out either, but I’m not even sure if they exist any more since it’s been so long since we’ve seen or heard from either. The segment is announcing that next week will be an all Knockouts show called “TKO”, for some reason. Matches that will be on the show include Taryn Terrell defending the Knockouts title against Awesome Kong, and a 4-way #1 contenders match between Angelina, Gail, Madison, & Brooke. They all cut some pretty horrible promos that aren’t worth going into. Somehow a huge brawl breaks out, Kong comes out, and Taryn ends up coming out over all f them and celebrates in the ring with her title.

So, next week is an all Knockouts show... meh. If this was late 2009 I could see it. In fact I remember the New Year’s Eve edition of Impact that year was a 4-hour all Knockouts show (in addition to showing what was voted as the 3 best matches of the year) and it was pretty solid. But the Knockouts roster ain’t what it used to be and I’m just not looking forward to it at all. Also, didn’t they say earlier that Angle/Young for the title was gonna be on next week’s show? Did someone screw up here, or is the main event to an all Knockouts show Kurt Angle vs Eric Young?

Backstage Robbie E & Jessie Godderz are talking about their match tonight. Robbie asks Jessie if he’s ready for tonight and Jessie says he is and asks Robbie not to mess up tonight. Robbie walks away and once he’s out of Jessie’s sight, Austin Aries & Bobby Roode approach him. They ask Robbie what the problem with the BroMans is, but Robbie says he knows what they’re trying to do and it won’t help. Aries & Roode says that they figure they have to focus on Robbie to win tonight since he’s the more accomplished and better BroMan and they just talk about how great he is. They suggest that if Robbie is able to beat them tonight he’d probably be in line for a World Title shot. Robbie agrees and says that the only question left is which one of them he’ll beat tonight and Aries & Roode give a worried & shocked look on their face. Robbie walks away and the two start talking about how that was too easy and that they need to go find Jessie now. Not much to say here, but I did like this scene.

Match #4 - The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie Godderz) vs. The Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries)

I know TNA calls them the Dirty Heels, but that name makes no sense for them when they’re currently faces. So I call them the Clean Faces.

Match starts with Robbie & Jessie arguing about who’s gonna start the match off, only for Aries to go after both of them. They bicker a bit throughout the entire match. But it was another pretty solid match. Told a decent but simple story with the BroMans arguing constantly and Roode & Aries taking advantage of it and playing mind games with them. This might actually be my favorite of all the qualifying matches. Toss up between this or EC3/Bram vs Mask Effect. Finish comes when Roode hits a Spinebuster on Jessie followed by a 450 Splash from Aries.

Winners via pinfall: The Clean Faces

After the match, Robbie & Jessie start yelling & shoving each other, and after a minute of it actually start taking swings at each other. DJ Z runs out and manages to break it up, but Robbie just shoves him and walks away. So, I guess they’re setting up a BroMans split-up. Sad to see. Still, that might not be what they’re doing. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens I guess. Wonder what happens to Zema if they do split up.

Backstage we have Homicide beating on Angle... he’s really handling Angle all on his own? When did Homicide get to be that good? Anyway, they brawl all over the place and it’s pretty boring to watch honestly. I think they just needed some filler time before Ultimate X. They could have placed that Knockouts segment here to fill some time between Ultimate X & a tag team match, but they chose not to. Angle & Homicide brawl to the ring, and when Angle gets the upper hand, the BDC comes out and beats on him. After a moment of this, The Rising come out and chase off Kenny King, Low Ki, & Homicide, leaving just Kurt & MVP in the ring. MVP goes to hit Angle in the head with a chair, but Young runs out and gets between them. MVP agrees to lay off Angle, hands EY the chair, and leaves. Young picks up the chair and goes to hit Angle with it, but he stops and just drops the chair. I don’t know what they’re trying to do here. I guess it has to do with that “old Eric Young” stuff from earlier, but I don’t find it that interesting. I like EY’s current crazy character and want to see him continue that. Personally I would have liked to see him still hit Angle with the chair after chasing MVP off, just to show how crazy he is. But I’ll wait and see where this goes. I think EY will still go back to this crazy self we’ve seen the past few months, as I don’t see them turning him face so soon.

Another video for the Dollhouse is shown, and it’s just as weird and out of place as the last one. Are we gonna get any explanation for these videos when they debut, or are they never gonna be brought up?

Match #5 - Ultimate X for TNA World Tag Team Championships: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) vs. The Beat Down Clan (Kenny King & Low Ki) vs. Awesomeness (Ethan Carter III & Bram) w/Tyrus vs. The Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries)

Only the 3rd time ever the Tag Titles are on the line in an Ultimate X match. Aries, Kenny, & Low Ki have all won Ultimate X matches before, while Jeff & Roode have been in some but never won any. First Ultimate X match for Matt, EC3, & Bram. There’s your irrelevant trivia for the day. And remember: The Hardys have never won the TNA Tag Team titles.

Ultimate X match is a match where they have a structure set up around the ring with wires that hang above and go across the ring, and you win by grabbing the object in the middle (in this case being the tag title belts). Just for those who don’t know.

This was a really fun match. King, Ki, & Aries was pretty much made for a match like this and did great. Roode put on a great performance. EC3 & Bram were just awesome as expected. And the Hardys... did stuff I guess. There were some really cool moments in the match though. One of my favorites was when a bunch of guys were climbing towards the middle of the wires, Tyrus was outside and started shaking the structure to cause them all to fall. I had never seen that before and thought it was neat. TNA’s done almost 40 of these, so I always like and am impressed when they can do something new.

A ladder was brought into the match at one point, which usually I don’t like, but I’m fine with it due to the circumstances. Bram & EC3 were the only guys up at one point and Bram wanted to start climbing to get the belts, but EC3 stopped him. He just pointed at his head and went outside the ring to grab a ladder, which he set up so they could climb up and get the belts easier. This section I was fine with, but unfortunately later on some other people were using the ladder and it basically became a ladder match, which makes me curious why they made it an Ultimate X match to begin with.

There was a point where I was thrilled late in the match. Everyone but EC3 was down, so he had Tryus come in the ring and he climbed up on his shoulders so he could reach the belts that way. Unfortunately Aries then did a dropkick to Tyrus and took them both out. Bram did a quick attack and took out Aries, but he was afterwards taken out too. Clean Heels almost have the match won afterwards, but Homicide runs out to stop them. The BDC almost then wins the match, but the Hardys keep them from being able to do it. While Ki is hanging there, Jeff is able to walk across the wires (using the structure to balance himself) and knocks Ki off. He then grabs the belts, while Matt sets up a ladder underneath him for some reason, and the Hardys are the new champs. Why? Cause f*ck you, that’s why. It’s not like TNA has more deserving and more talented teams to get the belts. No, let’s give it to the guys who haven’t put on a good match in 10+ years, aren’t reliable, are sh*t on the mic, are mediocre at best (Matt) or just terrible overall (Jeff) in-ring, and overall just don’t deserve the titles. F*ck you TNA for always pushing the Hardys down our throats. Why isn’t Drew Galloway complaining about these guys being shoved down our throats all the time? I don’t even like Galloway, but he’s better than these two. Just... this is just a horrible move. Get ready for mediocre at best tag title matches for a while; something that could have been avoided if any other team won the titles here.

Winners via idiotic management who won’t stop shoving people who don’t deserve what they’re being given down our throats: The Hardys

Overall Impressions:

Really fun show tonight except for the finish. F*ck that finish. But other than that, really enjoyable show. Most of the tag matches were fun (I thought the opener was way too short), and while I’m not a big fan of this “old Eric Young” thing, I like Angle & Young feuding. It’s something new. Not a big fan of what’s happening with the Knockouts, but I haven’t been a fan in years. Ultimate X match was good, except for the stupid decision to give the titles to the Hardys when they were the least talented team and there were more over guys in the tournament. But like I said, fun show tonight, and easily the best show since we got back to Orlando. I hope TNA can follow up this show with similar quality, but I unfortunately doubt it with that Knockouts show next week. Two hours of EC3 would be better. But we do have Angle/Young (I think), so there’s that.

But like I keep saying: Fun show with a bad ending.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of the show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you later.

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/10/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the April 10, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. Sorry this is up late, but I was really busy with other stuff. Shouldn’t happen again. Anyway, let’s start the review.

Kurt Angle opens the show by saying that there’s been a lot of controversy the past week (with Lashley getting his shoulder up but Angle still pinning), and he’s not gonna back down from controversy, so he calls out Lashley. Lashley comes out and does some sh*t mic work and shows the video from last week, saying that the Kurt Angle he knew wouldn’t take a win like that. Angle says that he will fight anyone for the title at any time, and says it’ll be Angle/Lashley for the title again tonight, but Eric Young’s music interrupts.

Eric Young comes out and keeps yelling “no”, before saying that this is the problem with wrestling today; that no one follows the rules. He then says to look at the rankings as he’s the #1 contender and brags about how he made Bobby Roode tap out last week. He then starts bragging that he should get the title shot and that Bobby lost and should go to the back of the line.

Lashley then tells him that he needs to shut up and earn his spot... even though EY already did. Young then tries to attack Lashley, but Angle holds him back. Lashley then tries to spear EY, but he dodges and Lashley hits Angle. Young then gets out of there.

After commercials, Angle says that he’ll fight Lashley tonight and EY since they both thought they got screwed. Angle then says that this is because he’s the best in the world and no one can beat him... except AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, EC3, Jeff Jarrett, Magnus, Jeff Hardy, James Storm, Bobby Roode, and sooo many others that have beat him. Overall, not a great opening. I just didn’t care much.

Match #1 - Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

In 2008 this would have been great... but it’s 2015. Does anyone care anymore? The match wasn’t that great. They’ve had far better stuff before. Kong wins after an Awesome Bomb.

Winner via pinfall: Awesome Kong

Backstage where James Storm is talking to Mickie James, and something about last week when Bram tried to attack her but Storm stopped it. Mickie walks away, and Manik asks what’s up with her. Storm shoves food in his face/mouth and holds his hand there and tells Manik to never question him. He then tells him to gather the guys as they’re in for a fight tonight. I’m curious to see where this whole thing with Storm & Mickie goes, but it’s just so random & out of place that I’m not sure what to think of it right now.

After commercial, Storm & The Revolution (Abyss, Koya, & Manik) are in the ring. He says that he called them out here for a talk and says that he had a vision for a group, a revolution, but they have all failed him. He makes a comment about how Sanada failed him too many times, so his name will never be spoken in this group again. He then goes on about how everyone in this group has failed him, and goes over why. He then says that there’s always room for one more in the Revolution, but there’s always room for one less. He then says that one of these three will join him in the upcoming tag title tournament, and a big “Manik” chants breaks out, which was awesome. Storm says that they’re gonna fight it out to determine who. He then calls out a ref, and tells him that the only rule is that there must be a winner. So James Storm has the ability to book matches now? Where did this come from?

So, I’m not sure what’s going on with Sanada at this point. It’s possible that this is a storyline and Sanada is gonna return down the line as a face to feud with Storm. If this happens, I’d be fine with it and would actually look forward to some of the matches. But I don’t think that’s what’s happening. With how sudden and out of nowhere this was, it leads me to think that Sanada left TNA and they weren’t able to write him off TV so they just did this. If that’s the case, I’m sad to see him go, but it won’t affect anything. Since Bound for Glory, he hasn’t done much of anything besides interfere in Revolution matches and spray mist in people’s faces. He’s really become the most irrelevant guy in the Revolution storyline, which is odd when you think about it since the storyline started centering around him. But this is all just speculation at this point. We’ll have to wait to see what happens with Sanada in the future.

Match #2 - Abyss vs. Koya vs. Manik

Manik did a few cool things in this match. That’s all that’s positive. It was really short and not very good. Koya wins after beating Abyss & Manik with a giant wooden stick that James Storm brought out for some reason. He then hits the Koya Bomb on Manik and gets the win. That’s all it took to take down Manik. TNA does remember he’s a former X-Division champ, right?

Winner via pinfall: Koya

Drew Galloway & The Rising come out, so hopefully we’ll finally be told who these guys are. Galloways says that all he ever wanted to do was be a professional wrestler, and that he started when he was 15 and he’ll continue until the day he can’t walk. He then says that he’ll find a way to continue to wrestle even when he can’t walk; that’s how much he loves this sport... this is one of the most annoying Galloway promos I’ve ever seen. I can’t even make fun of them; they’re just annoying and I want them to stop. He then thanks the fans for something (he never got around to saying what) and says that he’d give them the shirt off his back. He then says that actions speak louder than words, and he will give you the shirt off his back, so he takes it off and throws it to the crowd. Just when I think Galloway can’t get worse he finds a way to. He then says generic sh*t about him starting the Stand Up movement and that with the help of the fans, they’re gonna change professional wrestling for the better. Galloway is gonna retire then? He then says more stuff I don’t care about, and talks about how he couldn’t beat the BDC by himself, and that they were the Rising. Then tells the crowd that they’re the Rising, and says that everyone across the world who has a dream and the guts to peruse their goals is the Rising. What if our dreams and goals have nothing to do with Galloway or professional wrestling? Does that still mean we’re in the Rising? He then tells the other guys to introduce themselves to the world and hands the mic over, so we’re finally gonna find out these guys names.

The first guy grabs the mic and says that his name is Mica. He’s the son of Haku, a wrestler so legendary that I had to look him up on Wikipedia to find out who he was. I recognized him as Meng from WCW, and I certainly remember what a great technical wrestler Meng was. He put Bret Hart & Chris Benoit to shame, and being his son will certainly put him on at least the same level as Kurt Angle, probably higher!

He then talks about generic stuff about the Stand Up movement and Drew having issues with the BDC on his own, how the BDC are bullies, and I don’t care. This guy isn’t terrible on the mic, but he’s just so generic and his work is something I’m sick of hearing of that I just don’t like listening to him.

He hands the mic over to the second guy, whose name is Eli Drake. He starts talking to the BDC, and says he’s gonna tell us why he’s standing here with these two men. A paycheck; what else? He says that all 3 of them are joined by a common bond, and that they weren’t robots made in a factory and weren’t “superstars”, they were professional wrestlers and had something to prove. WWE refers to their wrestlers as superstars, right? I’m pretty sure that was a shot at them, I just wanted to make sure. I’m still amazed that there haven’t been any references to Connecticut or “up North” or anything like that. Drake then says some more generic stuff to the BDC and about the Rising, and it’s just everything we’ve heard before. Drake seemed decent on the mic here, despite the stuff he was given, but I think it was only because he was next to a guy who’s annoying and a guy that makes The Wolves look like the most interesting and charismatic mic workers of all time. And for a guy who claims he wasn’t made in a factory, he looks really generic.

The BDC’s music interrupts (thank god), and Kenny King & Low Ki come out carryng giant BDC flags for some reason. Aren’t they stealing the Revolution’s thing? That the Revolution stole from Team Canada? Sigh... why couldn’t I be watching some of their stuff right now?

MVP grabs the mic and starts mocking their name, cause a guy that named his stable the Beat Down Clan certainly has the right to do that. He then says that the Rising is trying to make a name for themselves off of the BDC which is a mistake, and something about how people rise up just to get beat down. MVP then says that he wants to tell Drew the story of the Rising and their tragic downfall, a story that ends tonight. Drew then starts counting down from 3, and when he gets to 1 the two groups start brawling. Security & some referees run down to try and separate them. When we come back from commercial, the Rising is in the ring while the BDC & security is outside. Galloway says that these people want to see them fight each other... even though I and others don’t. He then asks for someone to sanction a six-man tag and for someone in the back to stand up, which leads to a 6-man tag. At least we don’t have to hear the Rising talk anymore. Really sad when out of 6 guys, MVP is the one I’m 2nd most excited to hear speak (first is Kenny King).

Match #3 - The BDC (MVP, Kenny King, & Low Ki) vs. The Rising (Drew Galloway, Eli Drake, & Mica)

This match is... bleh. It’s not horrible or anything, but Galloway still fails to impress me, and the other rising members didn’t impress me either. Just average. And when you’re facing Low Ki & Kenny King and can be barely passable, something is wrong. There’s nothing memorable about this match and was a pain to sit through. Finish comes when a masked man comes down and attacks the Rising with a pipe, causing a DQ. He’s afterwards unmasked and revealed to be the returning Homicide. I was never a big Homicide fan. I thought he & Hernandez in LAX were a great tag team, but outside of that I never found him that impressive. That said, I was thrilled to see him return here just so he ended this match. Thank you Homicide!

Winners via DQ: The Rising

Backstage Kurt Angle is talking about the world title scene, but Eric Young randomly runs up and attacks him, which I found really funny for some reason. After Young is done beating on him and leaves, a guy (some staff member I guess) runs up and asks Kurt if he’s okay.

“Is your vision blurry?”

“Look, just because you’re 10 feel tall doesn’t mean you can get in my face like that!”

Match #4 - Davey Richards vs. DJ Z

Looks like they’re trying to give Davey a little bit of a single’s push while Eddie is out of action. This was actually a pretty good match. Nothing amazing, but still pretty good and my favorite match of the night. Would have loved to see it get more time, but that’s what happens when you waste so much time with The Rising. Davey gets the win. Hate seeing Zema used just to put other guys over, but this was still a good match. Look forward to seeing where Davey goes from here.

Winner via pinfall: Davey Richards

Afterwards they air a weird video that I can’t even describe. It’s on TNA’s youtube page, so I’m just gonna post the video here:

So, Dollhouse... does this mean Eliza Dushku is gonna show up?

Seriously, I believe Jade is a wrestler Mia Yim, whom I’ve heard great things about but have never seen. But I’ve also heard good things about Drew Galloway, and look how that’s turned out. Don’t know who the other woman is though. Still, I’ll give both of these women a shot when they debut and hopefully they’re good. TNA needs some new & talented women in the Knockouts.

Jeff & Matt Hardy come out, and Jeff tries to get another “Hardy’s Revenge” chant going, and is only mildly successful. It sucked the first time you did it Jeff; what makes you think it’d be better now? They cut a horrible promo with them saying they were gonna become the TNA World Tag Team Champions, only for Ethan Carter III’s music to thankfully interrupt them. EC3 describes the Hardys’ careers as “fairly adequate” (a line I thought was awesome) and then describes his own 19-month undefeated streak in TNA (which is also officially the longest undefeated streak in TNA history). EC3 says that despite this, he still hasn’t gotten his rightful shot as the TNA World Heavyweight Championship or any championship gold. EC3 says that he’s inserting himself into the tag team title tournament and will win the titles with his new partner, someone who only wants to beat other people up: Bram!

Bram’s music hits, and he says that the thought of teaming with anyone right now makes his skin crawl. He says that he hates everyone, but out of all the people he hates, he hates EC3 the least. Bram then says that he only cares about battering the Hardys and everyone in the locker room. This EC3/Bram teaming is really random, but so awesome at the same time. The promos from this team could be amazing.

The lights go out and Mr. Anderson’s music hits and he comes out. He then introduces Rockstar Spud as his partner for the tournament. Shouldn’t Spud really be teaming with Mandrews instead? Austin Aries’s music then interrupts and says some stuff, basically boiling down to him knowing he has the Feast or Fired briefcase for a world title shot, but he’s feeling greedy. So he says that he’s going to win the tag titles next week with his partner, a former world champ that he’s held the titles with before, Bobby Roode. They were the Dirty Heels before, but they’re faces now, so that name won’t work. The Clean Faces then?

So, decent segment. It set up several of the teams for the tournament next week, some of which look pretty promising. That said, why are guys that were concerned with the world title two weeks ago (EC3, Aries, & Roode) now concerned with the tag titles? But still, the tournament next week looks pretty interesting, and this segment did honestly get me excited for it.

Match #5 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Eric Young vs. Lashley

This match was alright. Nothing great, but alright. Eric Young looked pretty good in it, which made me happy to see. But honestly, there isn’t much to talk about here at all. Lashley’s leg got injured, and Angle wins after hitting a moonsault on it. Seems like a heelish thing to do. I like the finish though; keeps Young looking strong for (hopefully) an upcoming feud with Kurt.

Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle

After the match, Young attacks Lashley and goes after his injured leg. He takes a chair to it, and puts the figure-four on it. Not much to say really. Again, makes Young look good, which is good. I assume and hope they’re going for an Angle/Young feud now, but I won’t get my hopes up. A few weeks ago I thought EC3 was making a run for the world title; now look where he is.

Overall Impressions:

This show was really meh.

Yeah, the show wasn’t the worst in quality, but there wasn’t much great here either, and I honestly just found the whole show boring. There’s been a bit of a theme of that since we got back to Orlando. It set up some stuff for the future that should be interesting, but the show itself just wasn’t that enjoyable to me. I look at this and think that I had three things I could have been doing this night: Watching Impact, Watching Daredevil, or doing homework. I watched Impact, and all I feel is that I wasted my time as homework would have been more useful and Daredevil would have been more enjoyable.

Now, TNA didn’t make it clear on this show which teams were going to be competing for the tag titles on the next show and I only found out the full line-up later by watching videos on youtube, so I’m going to list everyone competing to make it convenient for you:

  • The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy)
  • The Revolution (James Storm & Koya)
  • The Dirty Heels (Austin Aries & Bobby Roode)
  • The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie Godderz)
  • The BDC (Kenny King & Low Ki)
  • Ethan Carter III & Bram
  • Mr. Anderson & Rockstar Spud
  • Tigre Uno & Jay Rios

All 8 teams will compete in normal 2-on-2 matches, and the winners of those matches will advance to an Ultimate X match later in the night to crown new tag team champions. I already know the teams in the Ultimate X match since TNA gave it away by showing some shots in the ad for next week show, but I won’t spoil it.

Anyway, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/3/15

Hey there guys and girls; I’m TheCannon, bring you another review. This week we look at the April 3, 2015 episode of TNA Impact Wrestling. I stopped watching Sherlock to watch this, so it better be good and you better enjoy this. Let’s get started.

Tonight is what they’re advertising as a special “Bell to Bell” special, but I don’t entirely get that. A few big matches tonight like Angle/Lashley, Magnus/Bram, & Roode/Young, but the name is still odd. They show some very cartoonish graphics to hype up the matches, and they look awful. Kurt Angle & Lashley even looked identical on them.

Match #1 - Submission Match: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Eric Young says some generic stuff about all good things must come to an end, and tonight he ends Roode’s career. Roode comes out and says that history is written by the victors so let’s go over history. No, let’s just wrestle. Roode says that Young cost him the world title months ago, and since then Roode’s beaten him in a steel cage and last man standing, so tonight it ends. Young then says more nonsense to him, and says that he’s gonna make Roode tap out. Roode then says more stuff, and it’s officially made into a submission match. Basic rules are that you can only win by submission, so it’s simple. Roode then runs down and they start brawling. Also, Eric Young has a new tattoo. Had trouble getting a good look at it, but I just thought it was worth noting.

The match was alright. Nothing amazing, but alright. I preferred their last man standing match personally. Match was a bit too predictable honestly. For example, there was one point where the ref was taken out and Roode immediately put Young in the crossface, and Young obviously tapped out. But the ref didn’t see it, so the match continued. Match continues, and Young ends up winning after making Roode tap out to the figure-four. Guess that’s why Young made Aries tap out last week. Glad to see Young get the win, but unfortunately, I think this means the feud is still gonna continue.

Winner via tap-out: Eric Young

The Wolves’s music hits, and Davey Richards comes out holding both of the tag title belts, followed by Eddie Edwards on crutches. This segment dragged on a bit and I don’t remember the whole thing, but basically, Eddie got injured at one of the One Night Only tapings back in February, and is gonna be out of action for a while. Davey had the option to find a new tag team partner, but he turned it down and decided to vacate the titles until Eddie is ready to come back, and gives a warning to whoever wins the belts. I really feel bad for Eddie here and it sucks to see The Wolves vacate the belts. I look forward to Eddie coming back, and I hope Davey does well until then. Maybe a run with the X-Division title? Regardless, I know I’ve talked about how boring The Wolves are on the mic, and while that was still kinda true here, I still liked hearing them talk in this segment. I just like both these guys and feel bad for them, which led to me actually caring about what they said an liking it. And the crowd was really into and behind these guys, which I was also happy to see.

Christy Hemme is backstage and interviewing Lashley...

Match #2 - Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Two questions: 1) Why is this match happening? 2) Where the hell are the Bro-Mans!?! They’re the only reason I care about Angelina, and they’re not here. There goes me caring about this then. I like Gail, but I’ve seen this match so many times before that I just don’t care. But I have to say, the match was much better than I thought it’d be. Still nothing amazing, but I thought it was actually pretty decent. Gail wins with the Eat Defeat. I still don’t see why this match happened, but it was enjoyable, so I won’t complain.

Winner via pinfall: Gail Kim

They then show a segment where the cast of Ghost Asylum (another Destination America show) is talking to James Storm & The Revolution about investigating Storm’s barn/shack. It’s so stupid yet so funny at the same time. It sounds like something I’d pitch, so I’m glad to see TNA using my type of ideas, cause no matter how stupid they are, they are entertaining.

Video package hyping the Bram/Magnus feud so far. Gotta love how they intentionally leave out the parts where Magnus looks like a heel.

Match #3 - Falls Count Anywhere: Magnus vs. Bram

This was a really good match. Might be my favorite of the night. But honestly, there’s not much to talk about here at all. Again, good match, but I really have no comments on it. The biggest thing to talk about is that Mickie James comes out at one point (because she’s an idiot), and Bram ends up going after her and backs her into a corner (again; because she’s an idiot. Yeah, this current run has killed the like I used to have for Mickie). James Storm then comes out for some reason and tells Bram to back off and to not hit a woman. They get in each other’s faces and Storm ends up helping Mickie out of the ring while Bram yells at him. That was... odd. And random. Why is Storm out there? Why does he care about this? Are they building to a Storm face turn? Why, and how the hell would that work with The Revolution still going on? This is just an odd move. I would say I’m interested in seeing what happens with this, but it’s just so random that I have no clue what to think and really have no reaction. Magnus ends up coming back and being able to win. I think this’ll end the feud now. I think it probably could have gone on longer, but probably a good idea to end the feud before it gets stale, and I honestly was getting sick of it. Matches were great and I like both guys, but Mickie dragged down the whole feud. But overall, really good match with a really odd thing with Storm running in.

Winner via pinfall: Magnus

Backstage we have Magnus & Mickie James and Magnus wants to know what just happened (as do I), and Storm says he’s just looking out for an old friend and says that he’ll see Mickie around. Okay... I hope this is building to a Magnus/Storm feud somehow, but I have no clue where they’re going with this. I don’t think Storm & Mickie are old friends, but I could be wrong. Anyway, just a weird scene that I’m not sure what to think of. Does get me interested at least, so TNA did their job there.

Match #4 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Lashley

I would complain about them rushing this re-match, but I’d rather they just get it done with and get Lashley out of the title scene. The match was... eh. It’s what you’d expect. Some might have liked it, but I just didn’t. Finish comes when Angle gets a roll-up and a 3-count, but Lashley’s shoulder was up. They bring this up after the match and Lashley seems annoyed. I guess this is a way to keep Lashley looking strong in defeat and possibly keep him in the world title scene? I hope not, but that’s what it looks like. So, yeah. Some might have liked this match, but just like any other Lashley match or most current Angle matches I couldn’t get into it.

Winner via referee’s bad eyesight: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Eh.... this episode was fine in quality. 3 matches I thought were all good and one some might consider good, and no Drew Galloway or Jeff Hardy was nice. But really, I was just bored the entire time. Again, the matches were fine, but I just couldn’t get into the show at all. It was just boring to me. There was no Ethan Carter III or Austin Aries tonight, so maybe that was why. Or maybe I’m just still focused on Sherlock and didn’t want to watch anything else. Regardless, the entire show was fine in quality, but just boring to me. Part of why this review is so much shorter than usual, I was just bored and didn’t have much to say.

Well, that does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of tonight’s show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I’ll see you guys and girls later.

And since we didn’t get any of him tonight...

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 3/27/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon bringing you a review of the March 27, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. UK Tour is over and we’re back in Orlando for the first time since June of last year. How would TNA do when returning to this familiar city and follow up with everything from the great UK tour? Let’s start the review and find out.

The show opens up with a video package hyping up what James Storm did to Jeff Hardy a couple months ago back at Lockdown, and hyping up Hardy’s Revenge tonight, as the main event is Storm vs. Hardy in a steel cage match. Now, wouldn’t it make more sense to have this next week? Jeff could have made a surprise return tonight and set up the match for next week, or maybe spend a few weeks building to it by having Jeff go through the members of the Revolution. But maybe I’m just weird.

Before I begin talking about the show, I gotta say I like the set-up they have for the arena tonight. I saw some pics before and din’t care for it, but it looks good on the show. It’s hard to explain, but it’s basically a rock-looking like set up they have at the entrance ramp. Sounds terrible, but it looked unique without being distracting. Also two screens for some reason. Well internet, you said you wanted the screen back. Hope you’re happy.

James Storm & Koya come out (no Manik, Sanada, or Abyss for some reason) with a cage set up already for some reason, and Storm says that tonight is Hardy’s revenge, which results in a “Hardy” chant, and Storm joins in and says that they can chant all they want, but Jeff isn’t here tonight as he put him out weeks ago, just like he put out Matt Hardy last week. Storm then says something about Hardy being down for dangerous dives off cages and everything, and he gave them that. Storm then talks more about what if you’re against the Revolution and something about showing Jeff Hardy, and throws a piece of fruit (I think it was a small watermelon) out onto the floor. He then says something about taking out Jeff Hardy again, until Jeff’s atrocious music interrupts and he comes out.

Hardy says some stuff about how he’s still hurting (then why are you there?) but he can still kick Storm’s @ss. He then says some sh*t about he’s still standing with the support of his family. Well, at least he didn’t mention the creatu- I spoke too soon, he then talked about the support of the creatures. Some more sh*t is said, and it’s Jeff Hardy speaking. Do you care? He’s just terrible. Some more nonsense is said and Hardy eventually goes to walk towards the cage, but Storm tells him to wait a second. Manik then comes up behind Jeff and attacks him, which I liked seeing. Storm tells Manik to break Jeff’s arm, but Hardy fights him off and hits the Twist of Fate on him. Afterwards Abyss comes out and begins attacking Jeff, and Storm says that Jeff is just as stupid as he looks. With how stupid that facepaint & those arm things he wears to the ring are, I don’t think that’s possible. Hardy ends up fighting Abyss off, and Hardy yells to Storm that Manik, Abyss, & “big man” (Koya) isn’t gonna be able to help Storm. Hardy then asks for the roof to be lowered, and Storm says something (forget what). Hardy then starts a “Hardy’s Revenge” chant, which is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard. Hardy is just f*cking awful. And why did Jeff ask for the roof to be lowered if the match wasn’t gonna happen then?

Replay of Spud’s awesome X-Division title win last week is shown.

Backstage we have MVP, Kenny King, & Low Ki talking about how they lost Joe and the X-Division title, and tonight Ki says that he’s winning it back. So, that’s it? They didn’t even try to write Joe off TV? After almost 10 years with the company and putting on some of their greatest matches & moments and currently being involved in their biggest story, and they don’t even explain why Joe’s gone, he just is? They couldn’t even re-air that thing from a few years ago where he was kidnapped by ninjas? This just doesn’t make much sense to me. I know they got unlucky with the timing of Joe’s leaving after they threw in in the BDC, but they probably should have made sure they had him longer before putting him there.

Backstage, Storm is yelling to Koya that he’s sick of Jeff Hardy (as am I), and says that Manik & Abyss have failed him. After that, Storm yells at Koya that he wants Koya to dispose of Jeff Hardy, and if he doesn’t, Storm will dispose of him. Koya then does a weird yell and runs off. That was... odd.

Match #1 - TNA X-Division Championship: Rockstar Spud (c) vs. Low Ki

Wow, Spud’s hair grew back a lot in a week. Almost like there was a two month break between TV tapings or something like that, but there’s no way that happened...

There was a really weird moment where Spud was knocked down and had to get up before a 10-count, otherwise he’ll lose the match via knockout, for some reason. Yeah, I’ve seen that in Last Man standing matches, but why here? It’s just a normal match. Doesn’t make any sense.

MVP & Kenny King come out to distract the ref so some shenanigans can happen. But Drew Galloway comes out to get them off, and while Ki is yelling at him, Spud’s able to get a roll-up win and retain the belt. He gets out of the ring and is handed the belt, while the BDC looks angry at Galloway. Also, Galloway was wearing a t-shirt saying “The Rising”. But why? It makes no sense right now and just stands out as odd.

Overall not a great match, but it did seem like it was for story telling purposes and not trying to put on a true match. Still, after Spud’s great match with EC3 a few weeks ago, I really want to see Spud have some real matches soon. Him against DJ Z could be a lot of fun.

Winner via pinfall and STILL X-Division Champion: Rockstar Spud

After commercial, the BDC is in the ring. MVP talks about Galloway and his bad campaign thing (thank god someone else is talking about its awfulness). MVP says that Galloway hasn’t been fair when he interfered in the MVP/Lashley match a few weeks ago or when he attacked Low Ki with a pipe, and threatens to put him in the hospital. More threatening when Storm does it. He then threatens to slap everyone in the crowd unless Galloway comes out.

Galloway comes out and says his typical sh*t about the fans and standing up for wrestling. He talks about the BDC pushing themselves down people’s throats every week and the fans being sick of it, but he’s ignoring the fact that he’s doing the same thing, only Galloway’s awfulness is worse than anything the BDC has done or is capable of (I’m personally not a fan of the BDC, but at least the group is full of talent. Galloway... is hot and nothing else). More of this nonsense goes on with Galloway stealing Scott Hall’s old survey thing, and eventually Kenny King says that aside from the losers in the crowd, there’s no one who’s willing to stand with Galloway. You’d think that guys who have been feuding with the BDC (Roode, Aries, Angle, Lashley, & Gunner come to mind immediately) would stand with Galloway, but we’re not supposed to think about that I guess. After this goes on for another minute, two guys jump the guardrails and attack MVP & Ki while Galloway runs in and attacks King. They run off the BDC and Galloway says that these guys are The Rising. Because apparently the BDC, The Revolution, & the Bro-Mans weren’t enough stables for TNA. At least it explains the shirts.

Now, I would give my thoughts on this new stable, but I can’t. You know why? Because I don’t have a damn clue who these people are. Aside from not recognizing them, TNA didn’t even tell us their names. I know I could easily go online right now and find out who these guys are, but no. I refuse to just out of principal. TNA could have just told us these guys’ names, and I could have checked them online to see what they’ve done in the past. But no, TNA expects up to automatically know this. These aren’t major names you’re debuting, they’re nobodies! Just mentioning their names would have been nice. They might be better in-ring than Kurt Angle or Chris Benoit and better on the mic than 80s Ric Flair or Ethan Carter III, but they make a terrible first impression when you don’t care enough about them to tell us who they are. Seriously, was this that big of a problem?

They then show some odd video package for Awesome Kong and... I can’t explain it. It’s so bad it’s hilarious.

Match #2 - Brooke vs. Awesome Kong

Brooke doesn’t even look like a wrestler. I hate that phrase, but just look at her. She literally just comes out wearing as little clothes as possible and looks more like a stripper than anything. Seriously, when you come out of the entrance tunnel and the first thing is turn around, bend over, and shake your @ss for the camera, what am I supposed to think? That you have the in-ring skill of Cheerleader Melissa? *Sigh* Why couldn’t I be watching one of her matches right now?

Match was... bleh. Brooke got in a little bit of offense, but it was mostly Kong dominating. She wins after some move. No one cares.

Winner via pinfall: Awesome Kong

After the match Kong spends a long time setting up a table to put Brooke through, but Taryn Terrell runs out and starts fighting with Kong. They fight and Kong ends up putting her through the table. So basically, no progress has really been made with this story so far and they’ve just been wasting our time.

Austin Aries is backstage saying that last week’s match with Angle & Lashley was great. He says that a world title win can make a man’s career, he should know as he’s done it. He then says that Angle deserves a celebration tonight for his world title win, but than asks what if we had two celebrations tonight as he holds up the briefcase. The cameraman asks if that means he’s gonna cash in tonight, and Aries asks if that’s a rhetorical question. So, is Aries just gonna keep teasing every single week that he’s gonna cash in and never do anything else?

Backstage we have Jeff Hardy going on about some nonsense until Koya tries to attack him from behind. Koya beats on him for a minute until Hardy turns it around. Jeff grabs a beer bottle out of the nearby trash can and hits Koya in the head with it and tells him to stand down. He does this another two times, but the third time tells him to get up.... after he just told him to stay down. Jeff, what the hell? Eventually after another shot, Koya just can’t get up and Jeff walks away. I would complain about this scene, but it’s Koya that looked bad here. I really can’t complain about that.

Kurt Angle comes out with the TNA World title belt. Angle says some nice but generic stuff about this being another title reign, and how long it’s been since his last world title run. He also says that winning the world title again last week was one of the proudest moments of his career. Um...

Yeah, I know they have to hype this stuff up, but come on!

While Angle’s talking, Ethan Carter III’s music interrupts and he & Tyrus come out. EC3 talks about how Kurt’s an inspiration and how he did the impossible in beating Lashley. EC3 then talks about how something else that sounds impossible is going 18 months without being pinned or submitting and beating every single TNA Hall of Famer. He then says that two weeks ago he put the entire industry on notice and that he’s putting Kurt on notice. EC3 says that he’s gonna take the belt off Angle, but Bobby Roode’s music interrupts. Roode says that any talk about the future of the world title should involve him because he was cheated out of the belt and never got a rematch. Roode says that he respects Angle and that he deserves this moment... so why the hell are you interrupting and ruining this moment Roode? EC3 interrupting made sense, but you... it’s just weird.

Honestly, this segment got hard to follow. Eric Young comes out and says some stuff about Roode never being the world champ as long as he’s around. Why is Roode/Young continuing? Shouldn’t it have ended two weeks ago when Roode won the Last Man Standing match? Young says more stuff about how he’ll never let Roode get the title again, and that he controls the entire future of the world title. But based off of what he just said, he should only have control if Roode was in a title match. Austin Aries ends up coming out and says that he holds the future of the world title in his hands and holds up his briefcase. He says that this is supposed to be Angle’s celebration (then why are you ruining it?), and that everyone in the ring has been a world champ... except EC3 (and Tyrus, and no one acknowledges that). Hopefully that’s foreshadowing an EC3 title run in the future. Aries grabs a bottle of champagne out of his briefcase (alright, that was pretty cool) and says they’re here to celebrate tonight, but asks if they’re going to celebrate Angle’s title win or Aries’s, yet again teasing cashing in. Angle ends up saying that he’ll defend the title against any one of them at any time, and begins to walk out. But Lashley’s music hits and he comes out. Lashley gets in his face and while I couldn’t hear him (he didn’t have a mic), he basically demanded a rematch. Angle agrees to face Lashley again right then and there, but for some reason refs come down to separate them. Both guys agree to the match so... why? Match is actually gonna happen next week. Guess they just wanted to build it up a little first, which makes sense. I would complain about them rushing the rematch, but I just want it over with so we can get Lashley out of the title scene (and hopefully EC3 in there). EC3 & Tyrus begins to beat on Roode & Aries, and Mr. Anderson runs out to make the save for them, resulting in a brawl between the six guys.

A real clusterf*ck of a scene, but it did set up various potential title challengers & feuds, so it serves its purpose. Also, I know it’s too early for Bound for Glory, but please TNA: Have Austin Aries vs. Ethan Carter III for the world title in the main event. PLEASE!

Match #2 - Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, & Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III, Eric Young, & Tyrus

So, how did this match happen? Everyone was brawling, then this match was happening when we came back from commercial. They then don’t explain the match; it’s just happening. It took me a minute to piece together what the actual match was.

Anyway, match itself wasn’t anything special. Not bad, but not much really stands out about it. Finish comes when Young has Aries in the figure-four, and Aries taps. Not the finish I expected, but it makes EY look good, so I won’t complain. But again, not much here stands out.

Winners via submission: Eric Young, Ethan Carter III, & Tyrus

Bram comes out to the ring and grabs the mic, and begins to call Magnus a coward. He says a bunch of stuff about how much of a coward Magnus is and that even Mickie James has more balls and is more of a man than him. Bram makes some comment about Magnus’s son, until Magnus & Mickie comes out and Magnus tells him to never mention his son again. Magnus says some stuff I didn’t care about, and eventually says that he wants to fight Bram all around the arena in the parking lot & everywhere, basically setting up a falls count anywhere match for next week. Bram says that she’s sorry about the empty house Mickie’s gonna have to go to after he kicks Magnus’s head in (what about the son? Maybe he’ll die of shock?), but says his door is always open for her. Magnus gets p*ssed about this and runs to the ring, but gets low-blowed by Bram almost immediately and is taken down. He grabs one of the turnbuckle pieces from underneath the ring and gets back in the ring to beat Magnus with it, but instead goes to grab Mickie James and throws her in the ring. At first he wants her to kiss his boot, but then decides to try and kiss her on the mouth instead. Magnus is able to break it up and his a German Suplex on him though, and Bram just leaves the ring. Alright scene, but I just think getting Mickie involved really hurt this feud a lot.

Match #3 - Lethal Lockdown esque: James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Lethal Lockdown esque? You really didn’t have any better names? I remember back in 2009 when Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash had a match like this, they just said “Lethal Lockdown rules”, so they couldn’t do that here? If you don’t know, this is basically a steel cage match, but there’s a roof on top of the cage with weapons hanging from it. Usually it’s a 4 vs 4 or 5 vs 5 match, but here, it’s just 1 on 1.

As for the match... eh. I’ve seen far worse, but this really didn’t stand out in my mind as good. Just passable I guess. No real spots stick out to me that I haven’t seen 100 times before. They even made a huge deal out of the finish which I’ve seen before. Storm is laying on the ground while Hardy climbs the turnbuckle. He then jumps up and grabs to the ceiling of the cage (the set-up features a big black bar that he’s able to climb along). He climbs along it until he’s positioned above Storm. He then begins swinging a bit to build up momentum, and does a splash on Storm. This might have been cool had I not seen AJ Styles do the same basic thing at Lockdown 2006. The difference was that AJ was on top of the cage roof when he did this, and was climbing from the structure on the arena ceiling, and did the splash through a table. Hardy’s thing here was just underwhelming compared to it, and it felt like they were trying too hard to impress me. Maybe they should have tried passing something in that style if they wanted to impress me, rather than a watered down version. Hardy gets the win after that move. I’d complain, but did anyone expect otherwise?

Winner via plagiarism: Jeff Hardy

Overall Impressions:

This was an alright show. Not great and certainly a step down from some of the UK shows, but it wasn’t bad, had some entertaining moments, and set up stories going forward. Only 3 matches tonight, none of them being that great, but it looks like next week’s show is going to be match-heavy since they’re heavily advertising Angle/Lashley, Bram/Magnus, & Roode/Young. So next week’s show should be interesting. But as for this show, like I said, just alright. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to tell me what you thought of the show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 3/20/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, brining you a review for the March 20, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. We enter the final night of the UK tour, so how would TNA end the tour and follow up last week’s damn good episode? Let’s start the review and find out.

Also, I apologize for not getting this up last night after the show. Been having some personal issues that made me not very interested in writing. But I feel more up to writing right now so I wrote this up, and it’s not up too late, so I think everything turned out fine. Anyway, let’s get started.

Match #1 - Ultimate X match for TNA World Tag Team Championships: The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) (c) vs. The Bro-Mans (DJ Z & Jessie Godderz) vs. The Revolution (Manik & The Great Sanada)

Robbie E isn’t here, apparently upset about his loss to Brook last week. So instead we got Zema competing, which I certainly won’t complain about. In fact, I actually liked Zema & Jessie as a team here more than I like Robbie & Jessie (and I really like those two together). I hope we see more of them in the future. Also, they make a comment about James Storm choosing to send Manik & Sanada out there to represent the Revolution. I assume that The Revolution was gonna be in the match and Storm was allowed to choose who the two were, but they didn’t explain completely.

This is also the first Ultimate X match since the network change, and the first on Impact since 2013. For those unaware, an Ultimate X match is a match where wires are set up above the ring with an object (in this case being the tag title belts), and the participants have to climb up and along the wires to get to the middle and grab it. It’s been a really fun match in the past.

The match was really good. All six guys worked great in it and there were some great spots. One of my personal favorites was when Zema & Jessie both had trouble climbing the ropes and couldn’t jump up to grab the belts, so Zema climbed up on Jessie’s shoulders to try and grab them, but Manik then gets on Sanada’s shoulders and they fight like that for a moment until the Wolves take them both down. Not saying this was the only good spot, just one of my favorites. This match also got a “This is awesome” chant, which is the first I’ve heard it in a long time.

My only complaints with the match don’t have to do with the match itself, just stuff surrounding it. For example, The Wolves’ tattoos are terrible and they keep adding to them. Why would you get a tattoo that looks like your skin has been torn off and you can see bones? Looks terrible. And Taz had some obsession with people wearing gloves which got annoying. But despite that, really good match and my favorite match of the night. Wolves win after Davey & Eddie climb to the middle and both grab a title belt while Manik & Jessie aren’t quick enough to stop them.

Winners and and STILL TNA World Tag Team Champions: The Wolves

We hear them hyping up Kurt Angle vs. Lashley for the world title tonight, and they call it one of the most anticipated matches of all time. OF ALL TIME!?! This is nowhere near close to Sting/Hogan from Starrcade 97, Hogan/Andre the Giant, or other matches hugely anticipated. Even just in TNA the Angle/Joe matches and Aries/Roode (from Destination X 2012) were far more anticipated. I understand they have to hype this stuff up, but come on!

Austin Aries comes out and says that something’s been missing from TNA the past few weeks, and that’s him. He talks about the BDC stealing his briefcase from him a few weeks back and that he’s not leaving the ring until he gets it back, and says something about Samoa Joe & Low Ki putting him through a table when they took it. Didn’t Kenny King help with that too? Why isn’t Aries calling him out then? Does he feel the same way as the creative team and think Kenny is a jobber?

Samoa Joe & Low Ki come out, and Ki is carrying Aries’s briefcase. Low Ki says something about possession being 9/10ths of the law and Aries not being able to play his games of “will I or won’t I go after the title” or something like that. Aries then points out that the BDC can’t do a thing with the briefcase. This is something I never understood about Feast or Fired, and TNA has never made it clear. You can’t cash in your title shot without the briefcase if I understand this right, but why? Whoever stole the briefcase can’t cash it in either, so it makes the whole thing kind of useless. I remember back in 2009 when the British Invasion stole Homicide and Hernandez’s briefcases that they had to win them back before cashing in, but the Brits couldn’t cash them in, and the whole thing just wasn’t well explained. Some situation here, and it still doesn’t make much sense. Just something that I don’t get though and probably didn’t explain well. Aries then says that Ki also stole his X-Division Championship (we’re supposed to remember that now?), and suggests Aries vs. Ki in a match for the World title shot briefcase and the X-Division title. Ki says that Aries doesn’t deserve a title shot and then Joe attacks Aries. Ki says that Aries wants him so bad, he has to go through Joe first, meaning we have a match. Not a great segment, but Low Ki has never really been good on the mic.

Match #2 - Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe

So, is the stipulation here that if Aries wins, he gets Ki in a match for the X-Divition title and briefcase? That’s the impression I got from what Ki said, but I didn’t hear anything official.

This is probably a good time to talk about this being Joe’s last match in TNA. It was announced last month that he left the company, but I didn’t bring it up in any previous reviews because it never felt relevant. I’m gonna be sad to not see him anymore since he became such a familiar face, but I don’t have a huge problem with TNA letting him go. The past few years he just hasn’t been what he once was. I don’t know how to put it, but outside of a handful of moments (teaming & feuding with Magnus, 2012 BFG Series, etc.), he just hasn’t seemed the same. I’m not sure if it’s age, lack of motivation, bad booking, or some combination of them. I want to put some blame on Joe as he just doesn’t seem as motivated as he once was and usually just goes through the motions (with a few exceptions, which only make the motions stand out more), but at the same time his booking has been so terrible that I’m not sure why he should be motivated. From wearing war paint and attacking people with a machete, to jobbing to Orlando Jordan, to a poorly booked feud with Jeff Jarrett, to being a pointless go-nowhere feud with the Pope, to jobbing in the 2011 BFG Series, etc, they just haven’t used him well in years. So I guess blame on Joe’s failure to impress lately goes to both Joe & TNA, but it’s still sad to see regardless. To put it shortly, sad to see him go, but hopefully TNA uses this money to find some good new & young talent to craft into stars (or they’ll find someone who’s sh*t but push anyway, like Drew Galloway).

Sorry for that long thing, but someone as major as Joe leaving TNA got me talking. The match itself pretty much shows everything I said about him just not impressing anymore. I’ve seen Joe & Aries put on great stuff, and while this was far from bad, I didn’t think it was great either. Just okay really. Finish comes when Low Ki attacks Aries, causing a DQ.

Winner via DQ: Austin Aries

After the match, Ki & Joe try to attack Aries some more, but when Ki tries to hit Aries with the briefcase, Aries ducks and Joe is hit instead. Aries then hits something (forget what) on Ki to send him to the ground, and Aries grabs his briefcase and runs out.

As Aries is walking up the ramp with his briefcase, Rockstar Spud comes out with his X-Division title shot briefcase. He runs into the ring and hands the briefcase to the ref, saying he’s cashing in.

Match #3 - TNA X-Division Championship: Low Ki (c) vs. Rockstar Spud

Fun fact: First X-Division title match since Low Ki won the belt back on January 16. TNA really doesn’t think as much of this belt as they used to.

As soon as the bell rings, Spud hits the underdog on Low Ki and gets the pin, winning the X-Division title in the process.

Winner via pinfall and NEW X-Division Champion: Rockstar Spud

After the match, Joe gets p*ssed off and starts chasing Spud around the ring while Spud runs away, and eventually is able to grab his title belt. He poses with the fans for a moment as the ref tries to raise his hand but Joe chases him backstage. This was actually a really entertaining scene, regardless of how stupid it sounds when I describe it.

As for Spud as X-Division champ, I... like it actually. I’ve talked about how weak the X-Division is in faces (not in my reviews, in person) and one of my reasons was that Spud wasn’t legit. But his great match with EC3 last week (which is my match of the year so far) made me change my opinion on Spud and showed he is legit in-ring. The whole thing got him over with the crowd, and this title win in his home country was a nice moment for him. I don’t expect him to have a long reign with the title, but I hope he doesn’t immediately lose it and has a few good defenses before he does. I really can’t say anything else other than, “Good job Spud.”

Backstage we have Magnus attacking Bram. He throws Bram into a ladder and then hits him with it, but why was a ladder set up in the middle of a parking garage? Also, whichever announced said they’re brawling all over London: No, they’re not. They’re brawling all over the area. And can it be considered a brawl when one guy gets no offense in whatsoever?

Anyway, Magnus continues to beat on him and they end up getting out to the ring. And amazingly, this doesn’t start a match between them. I figured it would since lately brawling around ringside starts a match. Now, I was watching this and wondering if I should be angry Bram is looking weak here, but I didn’t mind as it made Magnus look good and it wasn’t unbelievable or anything. But then Mickie James comes down, ends up low-blowing him, and beats on him for a minute. And now I’m gonna complain about Bram looking weak. I know he was already beaten by Magnus a lot, but it still looks ridiculous. I still see no reason why Mickie had to be brought into this feud. Decent scene until Mickie got involved, and I really liked the emotion Magnus was showing. Hopefully next week we get Bram going insane and attacking Magnus backstage like this so he can look a bit better.

We also see a little video showing various people on the roster giving their thoughts on Angle/Lashley tonight. Only reason I mention this is because Ethan Carter III was one of the guys, and he says the only reason he cares is to see who he’ll beat to become TNA World Heavyweight Champion. I really hope this happens.

Match #4 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Exactly what has Gail done to earn a title match? I know Kong should have one and Kim has brawled with her before, but wouldn’t it make more sense to have a #1 contenders match between Kim & Kong that goes to a draw or DQ, leading to this 3-way? And why the hell does Gail’s shirt say “London”? I know they’re in London, but it still makes no sense. If I went to New York, I wouldn’t wear a shit saying “New York”, I would just wear some normal clothes.

As for the match... bleh. Gail is still great, but Taryn is meh (except for her hair) and Kong ain’t what she used to be. I just didn’t care about this match, and spent most of it talking to someone else about how awesome EC3 is (have I mentioned that I like him?). Taryn wins and keeps the belt. Do you care? I don’t care.

Winner via something: Taryn Terrell

We see a video package hyping up Angle/Lashley tonight, and it says Lashley is the most dominant champion in TNA history. Really? You really consider him more dominant than Bobby Roode, Jeff Jarrett, or Christian Cage during their reigns? And if we’re talking about all champions and not just world champs, then there’s no argument to say he’s more dominant than America’s Most Wanted, Beer Money Inc, Austin Aries, Petey Williams, Christopher Daniels, and others during their X-Division & Tag Team title reigns. We then hear Angle call Lashley the most dominant wrestler in TNA history. I want to remind you that this company once had Samoa Joe during his 18-month undefeated streak. There’s no way in hell anyone could argue Lashley being more dominant then Joe during the streak. Again, I know they have to hype up this match, but can you at least be realistic when doing it?

Match #5: No Disqualification: James Storm vs. Matt Hardy

This match was announced on last week’s show. I would have said something then, but it was done over Twitter, so it didn’t stand out as much to me. I don’t know why they make matches of Twitter, but maybe I’m just stuck in the past.

Entire Revolution come out with Storm, so you know there’s gonna be some shenanigans. And within the first few moments on the match, Matt Hardy is attacked by Sanada. Matt fights him off, but what’s weird is that Manik, Abyss, & Koya just stand there while that happens. I’d think 4-on-1 would be much better. Match was okay. Not bad, but not good either. Kind of made the Revolution look bad since they have a problem dealing with Matt Hardy and no one else. Abyss brought in the thumb tacks for Storm to use, but I don’t know why. For years, anytime someone pulls them out, it backfires and they go through the tacks. So why continue to use them? And as you should have guesses, Storm goes through the tacks. Thankfully that doesn’t end the match though. It continues on for another few minutes, and Storm wins after hitting Matt with the cow bell and hitting two Last Calls on him. I know I’ve complained about the cowbell before, but I’m actually beginning to like Storm using it. And also, the two Last Calls was awesome.

Winner via pinfall: James Storm

After the match, Storm screams as the members of the Revolution and they set up the ring steps near the ring and set Matt on it. Storm grabs a mic and says that he’s the reason Jeff Hardy is out of wrestling and now Matt can visit his brother in the hospital. A few questions: First, is he trying to say that Matt couldn’t visit Jeff in the hospital before? Why couldn’t he? Secondly, I assume Storm hasn’t seen the ads for next week’s show? They kept hyping up Jeff Hardy returning and getting revenge on Storm. You’d figure he’d have seen the ads, but I guess not. Storm then hits Matt with the cowbell again and says that there’s always room for one more in the Revolution. I don’t know what to think of this. Are they teasing that Storm is gonna brainwash Matt now and he’ll join the Revolution? That’d be pretty stupid and a waste of space & time.

Match #6 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Lashley (c) vs. Kurt Angle

I really like them showing the two guys walking backstage before going to the ring. Years ago TNA did that for all their PPVs, but they just gradually stopped doing it. Gave everything a big-match feel. That said, I feel like it’s only being done here to fill time. But it does give it that big-match feel they want it to have, so I am happy to see that. We also got the Boxing Style introductions for both guys that TNA hasn’t done in a while, and I’ve always liked when TNA does them. Heard one person online say that TNA just stole it from NXT. Never watched NXT so I have no clue if they do them there, but the person seemed ignore that TNA’s been doing them on and off since 2002. The brilliance of the internet everybody!

Decent match. Not great, but much better than I thought it’d be. Angle wins after Lashley taps out to the Ankle Lock. So Angle is the world champ again. I really don’t have much thoughts on this. I love Angle, but he can’t go like he used to and I’m always just concerned for his health when he gets in the ring. I really don’t want to be thinking that during every World title match. That said, I’ve heard Angle might retire at the end of the year, so I can understand them giving him one last title run for the final year of his career. Still, hoping he doesn’t hold it for a huge amount of time. Hope Aries cashes in soon and wins the title. But regardless, good moment for Angle.

Winner via submission and NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Pretty good show. Not as good as last week’s show, but I still felt this was a good show. Some fun matches like Ultimate X happened, and some fun moments like Spud getting the X-Division title. And while we might have gotten barely any EC3, we didn't get any Drew Galloway, so I think we ended up doing pretty well. I felt it was a good closing to the UK tour this year. I really look forward to next week’s show (back in Orlando) and see where Angle & Spud’s title wins go from here, along with some other stories like Magnus/Bram & The Revolution. Also hope we get some new feuds for EC3, Roode, & Young. So in short, another good show from TNA that makes me interested where everyone goes from here.

Also, anyone notice all the Destination America hoodies being worn tonight? I’ve seen them occasionally worn by people this year, but tonight I saw them worn by Kurt Angle, Eddie Edwards, EC3, & Bram. Just something I noticed.

So, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the show or the review in the comment. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys later.

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 3/13/15

Hey there guys, I’m TheCannon, brining you a review for the March 13, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. The UK tour is coming to close, but it’s not over yet as we enter the first of two shows in London. How would TNA do in London? Let’s start the review and find out.

Match #1 - Last Man Standing: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Wait, they’re having a Last Man Standing match with no hype or build up at all? I know they’ve been feuding the past few months, but this would have been better for next week after a little build up & hype this week. I looked at what TNA advertised for tonight on their site, and there was no mention of this at all. You’d think this match would get more hype than Robbie E vs. Brooke, but you’d be wrong apparently.

Despite that piece of stupidity, the match itself was actually pretty solid. Probably the best Roode/EY match I’ve seen. Biggest complaint I have is the Piledriver. I like the move, but no one ever hits it in a way that looks real (at least in TNA this year). It was hit twice in the match, and neither time did it look like their head hit the mat. Just looks phony. But other than that, the match was pretty solid. It had some good spots and was a tad brutal, but never felt like overkill and I found it entertaining. Finish comes when Roode & EY are fighting on the apron, and Roode hits the Roode Bomb on EY through a table set up outside the ring. Like I said, pretty good match to me. Hopefully the feud is over at this point though, as I’ve gotten a bit sick of it by now and would like to see something new. Can I suggest a Roode/EC3 feud, and maybe Young/Angle?

Winner: Bobby Roode

Backstage Jeremy Borash comes backstage to talk to Rockstar Spud. Borash says he doesn’t have to do this (face EC3 in the hair vs hair match), but Spud says he does. He says that standing up to EC3 like that was more important than any victory, and something about how EC3 thinks that the bad guys win, but in Spud’s world, the good guys win. That means that he (Spud), Borash, & everyone. And they’re gonna shave his head. So, in Spud’s world, everyone is the good guy and everyone wins? That doesn’t make much sense at all.

Replay from the past few weeks of Drew Galloway’s debut and attacking the BDC is shown. Galloway then comes out, and his music is awful. But it goes along with his awful gimmick pretty well. Galloway says that he feels the passion from the fans & crowd (is he stealing Bobby Roode’s thing now?). He says something about wanting to feel the passion and how he’d go to shows when he was young, and climbs into the crowd because he feels more comfortable. Galloway says that once upon a time in wrestling, it used to matter what the fans wanted and they’d decide who was on their TV dictated by what they could do in the ring. Galloway says that then they started forcing things down everyone’s throats that no one wanted to see (thank you Hulk Hogan), and asks the fans for some survey (stealing Scott Hall’s thing now). Galloway then says some crap about MVP forcing the BDC at us, screwing Bobby Roode, and how this is what he’s talking about. He mentions that MVP challenged him to a match, and as he’s talking MVP & the BDC come out (thank god).

MVP then says stuff about him pandering to the crowd and how he’s not playing god, he is god as far as Galloway is concerned. MVP says something about how Galloway was once the Chosen One (stealing Jeff Jarrett’s thing now), and had the looks & in-ring skill to be a champ (he does?), but lacked a brain. MVP says he once liked Galloway once upon a time, they were drinking buddies, and because of that, he was gonna ask the BDC to step to the back so he could beat Galloway’s @ss all by himself.

Yeah, I wasn’t a fan of this whole thing. Galloway has a bad gimmick that seems to only exist to take shots at WWE (while they didn’t specifically say it tonight, it was the impression I got) and rips off other (far superior) wrestlers’ bits. MVP was better, but still not great. But maybe Galloway will look better in-ring this week?

Match #2 - MVP vs. Drew Galloway

Yeah, I don’t know what I expected. Galloway isn’t bad, but there’s just not much of anything good here either that makes him stand out. So, he’s bad on the mic and average at best in-ring, so why is he getting pushed so much? As I said last week, he is attractive, but that should be one of the last concerns for a wrestler. He doesn’t even have the intensity that someone like Goldberg had or the great build someone like Buff Bagwell had, it’s just looking good as a person, not a wrestler. I know a lot of the internet likes this guy, but I just can’t figure out why.

Match wasn’t that great. Not bad, just nothing that good either. Finish comes when the BDC comes out and attach Galloway, causing a DQ.

Winner via DQ: Drew Galloway

After the match, they begin beating up Galloway. They end up giving Low Ki a pipe to take him out, and Low Ki hits him in the head with it and cuts him open, as MVP yells “Welcome to TNA” with him. At least Galloway isn’t the only one stealing old stuff; Rhino was yelling that to Bobby Lashley while beating him up back in 2009.

Backstage, Mickie James is talking to Bram and making sure he’s okay for tonight. Magnus says he’s fine and after everything that’s happened, it doesn’t matter. Mickie says she’ll be out there tonight, but Magnus tells her no and that he’ll be with him backstage. Mickie is gonna get involved in the Bram/Magnus match, ain’t she?

A video package is shown to hype up the Ethan Carter III/Spud match for later tonight, and afterwards someone asks EC3 what he thinks of the match and what he’ll think if Spud ends the streak. EC3 says something about how he’s beaten huge names with wrestling like Sting & Kurt Angle, while Spud’s name only has to do with things like “failure,” “loser”, and “99 percent” and reminds Spud that he wanted this, and to remember that.

Video package showing the Magnus/Bram feud so far, and of course they leave out how much of a d*ck Magnus looked like when screwing Bram out of the Feast or Fired case. I understand Bram’s the heel here and he turned on Magnus, but am I the only one who sees how much of a d*ck Magnus looks like in this? This wouldn’t even be a bad thing, but they’re trying to make Magnus look like a big face and thus ignoring what started the feud to begin with.

Match #3 - Bram vs. Magnus

Magnus demands that Bram meets him on the entrance ramp, and they begin brawling there. They brawl around ringside and end up getting in the ring when the match finally begins. This match wasn’t some technical masterpiece or anything, but I wasn’t expecting it to be, and still found it pretty entertaining and that it told a good story and a good showing by both guys. Mickie James comes down to the ring like I expected, and while I like Mickie, I just don’t want her involved in this. Finish comes when Bram low-blows him, causing a DQ. I didn’t expect a clean finish, but I still thought this was a bit of a disappointing way to end it.

Winner via DQ: Magnus

After the match Bram continues to beat on Magnus and eventually grabs some stuff from outside the ring to tie Magnus to the ring ropes with. Mickie James gets in the ring and ends up slapping Bram, but for some reason she stands there for a few seconds instead of trying to get away. Bram grabs her and then yells to Magnus to look what he has, and how he could take away everything from him (and I reading too much into this, or is he threatening to kill Mickie?). Bram tells Magnus to kiss his boot and he’ll let her go, and Magnus ends up doing it. I feel like I should dislike this scene, but I really don’t for some reason. It’s not how I would have booked it, but I really can’t complain about it too much. Regardless, this clearly shows the feud will be continued, which I look forward to.

Backstage, the BDC says some random crap that I could barely follow. Low Ki then gets in the camera and says random sh*t about how Galloway wasn’t going to get away with whatever... I just didn’t pay attention. Every time Low Ki says a word, my like of him goes down.

Match #4 - Robbie E vs. Brooke

DJ Z/Zema Ion is out, and does a really cool Michael Buffer parody. Hopefully he and/or TNA don’t get sued over that. Robbie comes out in a hoodie sweatshirt, brings a towel, and a stool out to set in the corner. I think he’s trying to treat it like a boxing match. The match wasn’t that good. I didn’t expect it to be, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be bad. Not as bad as that mixed tag from a few weeks ago for what it’s worth. Now, Robbie has gone over guys like Jay Lethal & Eric Young clean and has been evenly matched with Sting before, but he has problems with Brooke? It just doesn’t make much sense. Finish comes when Jessie Godderz interferes and goes for a dropkick on Brooke, but ends up hitting Robbie accidentally instead, allowing Brooke to get the win. Yeah, I don’t care. Some might have found this enjoyable, but I didn’t. Robbie can be really entertaining, but this hasn’t showed his potential best. Brooke is hot, which was shown here, and has put on some decent performances before, but facing Robbie E in a bad comedy feud isn’t the best way to make her look good. Hopefully it’s over now.

Winner via pinfall: Brooke

Video package hyping up Kurt Angle vs Lashley for the world title next week is shown. I’m not looking forward to this match. I’ve said before that I just don’t like Lashley and think he’s really limited in ring. The only times I recall him looking good were the matches against Roode. When Samoa Joe & Austin Aries can’t get good matches out of there, there is a problem. I would say Angle could carry him to a good match, but I doubt it at his age. I like & respect Angle a lot, but I don’t want him in the title scene at this point. He can’t go like he used to, and I keep worrying about him getting injured any time he gets out there. Just my thoughts though; most probably think I’m insane.

Match #5 - Hair vs. Hair: Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud

Never thought I’d look forward to a hair vs hair match, but here we are. Just like other matches tonight, this wasn’t the best for technical skill, but told a great story and was entertaining. Had some good moments and both guys put on great performances. By far the best Spud match I’ve ever seen. A few things that impressed me this match was the British crowd chanting, “You cahn’t wrestle”, a point where Mr. Anderson came down to the ring to stop Tyrus, and EC3 takes him out by hitting him with the brace he’s wearing. The former world champ with wins over Kurt Angle, Sting, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, & others is taken out by something that simple. Really? And there was one point where EC3 yells “woooo!” in the corner before running and doing a splash on Spud in the corner, which I smiled at and loved. Then Matthews told us that he just hit a Stinger Splash.

Spud gets busted open massively in this match, which on the one hand did make sense with the story they were telling (How much Spud was fighting through), but at the same time it got really annoying since the show then went black & white. I’m not sure why they did this, but I saw them do it before on Destination America, but never on Spike. I guess DA wants them to censor a bit more, but I don’t see what black & white does. Just got annoying & distracting since it kept changing depending on the view. Really my only real complaint with the match itself.

Finish comes when Spud can barely stand any more, and EC3 hits the One Percenter and gets the win. As I said before, really entertaining match that told a good story.

Winner via Pinfall: Ethan Carter III

After the match EC3 grabs the mic and says that Spud has more heart than any wrestler he’s ever seen before. EC3 then talks about how he’s done some heinous things to Spud and they used to be best friends, but he ruined that. EC3 says that Spud proved in front of his hometown that he belongs in TNA and that despite his size, his heart weights more and that he could be a world champion one day. EC3 says that he won’t shave Spud’s head tonight and won’t embarrass him in front of his people as he proved himself tonight. He says he doesn’t expect Spud to accept it, but he’s going to offer Spud his hand. Spud accepts the handshake and raises Spud’s arm. Well that’s just a really great moment that shows EC3 has done the right thing. He’s realized after all these months that he’s done things wrong, and decides to put over Spud in his hometown and show how good a person he truly is. I think we should all follow EC3‘s example and look up to hi- wait, he’s gonna attack Spud, ain’t he? Yep, that’s exactly what happens. EC3 hits Spud repeatedly with his brace and screams “NOT! TIME TO PAY!” EC3 hangs Spud in the corner and shaves part of his head. Not sure why he didn’t do the whole thing. After that he grabs the mic and says that this ring, this company, the wrestling industry, and the entire world now belongs to him. I’m not entirely sure what the point of this scene was other than to try and swerve people, but EC3 did give a great performance and look like a great heel, so nothing wrong with it I guess. Hopefully though this is the end of the Spud feud and EC3 can move on to greater things. I would suggest EC3 going after a secondary title for TNA before moving up to the world title scene, but TNA decided to get rid of the TV title (after making it worthless for years) and EC3 doesn’t fix the X-Division. Maybe he & Tyrus could go after the tag titles? Still, he did a great job here, and I hope EC3 does well in whatever they give him next.

Overall Impressions:

Gotta say, I really liked this show. Easily my favorite show of the UK so far, and probably the best show on Destination America so far. Lot of good matches that forwarded/ended storylines, and they kept promos pretty short. I didn’t like the Robbie/Brooke stuff, though I can see where someone would. I don’t see what people see in Drew Galloway and didn’t like the stuff with him, but he was only on about 10 minutes of the show, so he didn’t ruin the whole thing for me. Overall, great show that I recommend checking out. Can’t say I’m looking forward to Angle/Lashley next week, but I do look forward to next week’s show just to see where some of the roster goes after tonight. Hopefully it’s able to live up to tonight.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to give me your thoughts about the show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys later.

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