(( NOTE: I made this to COMPLETELY make fun of Gargan. In this, he will be highly retarded (As usual.) and will do things such as highly retarded activities (sadly... as Usual.) If you are a fan of Gargan, don't post hate comments. So.... ENJOY!!! 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D)
(Oh and this is just a joke for a friend. I understand that it is REALLY retarded, but thats the point xD)
*Gargan wakes up, the events of last night have left him covered in mustard, with buttons sewn over his nipples and him being shaved bald. Tattooed on his chest, are the words
PROPERTY OF TELLYTUBBIES*
O NO. LIEK, WTF HAPND?!?! *Gargan stumbles to the "Door" which is actually a Gargan-Proof glass. He slams into it, and spontaneously combusts almost instantaneously. He staggers back, slipping on a deflated soccer ball and smashing into the iron fist he has been growing on the room of his bedroom. His mom calls out to him*
"GARGIE, ARE YOU OK???"
YS MOM GDAM IT LEVE ME ALNE!!! FCK!!!!! *He thinks, and he thinks some more. Suddenly, he screams and breaks into a mad sprint toward the door again. As he nears it, a huge boxing glove springs out of it and slams into his chest. Thrusting him back to the deflated soccer ball. He once more slips, and smashes into the iron fist.*
Ow. Liek, tht hrt me... O NO. CNT B LATE FOR MY PIMP NORM-E!!!!!!
*Suddenly, the theme for TellyTubbies begins to play.*
OH CRAP!!! TIME FOR SKOL!!!! *He dives in front of the T.V, giggiling like an idiot as he chews on barbed wire and watches a T.V thats turned to face the other side, so that he is staring at the back of it while it plays. Suddenly, he holds his stomach and groans*
LIEK, O NO!!!!! TUMY HRTED!!! POTTY TIME!!! *He stumbles to the bathroom, it is never explained HOW he knows where everything is with buttons sown over his eyes... we can only assume that what ever the hell he did last night with the telly tubbies happens on a regular basis... Sadly. Anyway... Back to the story.... Gargan kicks at the steel plated door like Chuck Freakin' Norris, only to get the exact OPPOSITE result. HE screams in pain as he holds his ankle.*
LIEK O NO!! I GOT A BOO BOO!!! MOMY!!!!! KIS IT!!!!!! *His mother, a twist between a Sloth and a Lobster, rushes in and kisses it... Only making it worse. But gargan believes it is better, and smiles as his mom pinches his cheek with her claws.*
"Aww you make me so proud!!!!!" *She scuttles out of the room as the door randomly opens. Gargan jumps up and flexes.*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! *He strolls in like he is the 6-million dollar man. And, just as he is about to use the potty, the toilet suddenly reaches out as a water-hand and grabs him by his throat, repeteadly smashing his face into the wall. The toilet speaks.*
"I am tired of you using me wrong!! Good God, man!! Look at yourself!! For one, you have to have your pants DOWN, and another, IT is absolutely APALLING THAT I HAVE BETTER GRAMMAR THAN YOU!!! UGH!!" ..... *The water fades away, leaving Gargan to choke on the air he is breathing.*
((This is my bio on my Batman Youtube account. For RP. I wanna know what people think of it, so hope ya like it!!! ^^))
*Lightning scorches the sky, and thunder rolls. The rain falls in one single beat. LOUD. I stand in the middle of two dead bodies. One of them is a woman, a broken pearl necklace gripped loosely in her lifeless hands. Her eyes wide open, equally lifeless. Her chest caved in due to a bullet pounded into it. She is sprawled to the right. To the left, is the man. His breath is labored, and his skin growing pale. His neck ripped open from a bullet. His hand weakly reaches out for me, touching my ankle. He looks up as he is dying. I stare back into his cold eyes. I fall to my knees at his touch, grabbing him and hugging him, about to cry. He pulls himself to my ear*
"Bruce..."
*He then dies, his blood staining me. I then hear the cock of a gun, and I whirl around. The killer stands there, grinning madly. The gun is trained on my face. There is a "BANG!" and I shut my eyes. With a yell, I wake up from the nightmare, cold and sweaty*
That dream...The dream I've had every night since I was a CHILD. Death, it stalks me. One day, it will catch up to me. It's looking for Bruce Wayne...
*I exit my bedroom, heading for the Bat Cave*
But instead...It will find...
*I flick the lights on, and each one comes on simultaneously. It reveals a huge cave, lined with bat suits, bat mobiles, bat subs, etc. Various equipment lines its cracked and black walls, bats hang from the ceiling* ...Batman
*I walk up the row of cylinders, which contains various suits. Robins suit is first, small and durable. The cape dangles on the neck. It seems to glow in the dark cave. Then, it is Bat Girls costume. I touch this cylinder gingerly, memories flooding my head*
Barbara....I'm sorry that I could do nothing to save you.
*The suit stays silent, and I stare at it. Almost looking as if I'm begging for it to talk back. To tell me she forgives me. Slowly, my hand leaves the cylinder. Next, is NightWings costume. Well, his spare costume. I look at it, remembering Grayson, wondering how he is doing in New York*
...He did fine. He will be fine one his own.
*The first cylinder glows the least, as it contains my suit. I stand in front of it, staring into the cowl. Screams flood my ears, fused with gunshots. Grunts, the sounds of punches being blown. Each one louder than the last, each beg for mercy echoes.*
They don't understand...I DO show them mercy. Mercy they don't deserve.
*I press the button to open the cylinder. The cylinder's glass shoots up, fog emitting from it with a soft "HISS!". It builds up around the suit, like steam in a steamer. I step up to it, looking at it.*
I've been shot....I've been stabbed. I've nearly died. I survive, though.
*I reach out to the cowl, and I slip it on my head. Relishing the cold blackness it brings*
Nothing says recovery better than getting back to work, though.
*Seconds go by, as I place the costume on my piece by piece. It is quiet as I do so, interupted by the bats every now and then*
"I'm no longer a man, but a symbol. One that is respected. And feared. The latter is which I prefer. To run MY city."
*Now standing fully in my costume, I seem to glint in the darkness*
"I am the night. I am vengeance. I am fear, multiplied by so many things."
*I than begin to walk out of the cave, my cape billowing behind me*
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