some days are better then others but most days are just shitty.As i am getting older I am losing my attitude towards life being garbage and realizing life just goes on.And the only control I have over life is my own i cannot change people the teen i hate everything attitude is leaving slowly.In so many ways I miss my feelings towards being hateful towards everyone.But at the same time I need to grow and mature into a man of greatness.The only thing i am scared of is being like all my friends having families and wives and shit like that.I consider myself a spontaneous person and it was the only reasoning for why i am so different in life.But I guess when the time comes for the wife and the kids i know it will be a spontaneous thing when it happens.My whole life i have been against families even though i love mine.It just made me sick seeing fathers and mothers having there happy go lucky family.Maybey it was an act or not but I think the reason i was pissed to see that was because mine was shitty.I honestly don't know where i'm going with this sentence lol but m not gonna fight a good family just because i wanna be different then everyone else.If I dont want that then I just need to date and have no attachments which is what i have been doing.It can get lonely and boring but at the same time there is so much freedom in it.I am not a player or anything I just dont wanna move certain parts of my life forward and love is one of them.