The Lone Wanderer's forum posts
Tamriel stomps. High magic fantasy always trumps low magic fantasy. Magic is god damn everywhere and can do some crazy stuff in the elder scrolls, magic is much rarer and lower key in tolkien's work. This spells more or less automatic defeat for the conventional armies of arda. The ring wraiths for example, while considered dangerous, nigh unstoppable, and freakishly powerful masters of swords and sorcery in midle earth, would be cannon fodder in a TES game, something for a lich or dragon priest to toss at you to keep you at bay. Their magic is just far too weak. Not to mention, arda's armies are easily frightened by middle earth's magic, most of them will panic and run when they find out that a legion or thalmor army can bury them in spells far beyond the relative party tricks that their much rarer sorcerers can pull. Without their armies, people like Gandalf and Sauron will only last as long as it would take for a dark brotherhood detatchment to descend upon them, or perhaps some loot hungry adventurers.
Shuma Gorath stomps as his peak. The others would have problems with Galactus out of their realms. Classic Shuma would roflstomp Galactus.
"Keep on moving, don't stop for a second, and call me Tombstone." He started before the ground began to shake beneath the streets, alligators in the sewers who were "digested" beginning to merge with one another to form something even larger and more horrific than a vivesector while more of the flying metallic death squids kept on coming, being shot out of the sky with 40mm grenades and a hellstorm of bullets, with a few missiles being fired to blast them whenever they clustered together tightly enough. CHK CHK BZT CHK, the reptiles went as they merged together, making a fascimile of the famous sound effect from transformers before merging to form a colossal metallic serpent, a Disembowler
The fifty foot long horror smashed it's way out of the ground, it's claws piercing through the asphalt with ease while the enormous beast lurched out of the Earth. "Drive! DRIVE! DRIIIVE!" Tombstone barked as the Grave runner fired off at the approaching Disembowler, which responded with a deadly green ray from it's optics with a mighty FREEEEEEM!!! before lashing out with whip coils sprouting from it's back meant to ensnare and trap Fentom while the snake beast slithered at obscene speeds, swatting cars out of it's path as it picked up momentum. Half ton vehicles went flying into the air as if they were toys in the path of an angry child.
The creature stabbed a silvery Honda mini-van, still loaded with a mother and her family with one of it's claws before hurling it at the Grave runner, the occupants of the vehicle screaming as they flew through the air before it fired a green beam as it flew above the two vehicles, causing the car to erupt in a fiery explosion that spread deadly shrapnel in all directions with a thunderous KRAKADOOOOOOM!!! as the Disembowler alternated between crawling on it's legs with it's tail held up like a scorpion's, and slithering along it's massive tail like some form of alien snake. Going along the walls of buildings, or when Tombstone tried to lose the serpent by turning a tight corner, smashing straight through an office building, bulldozing it's way through solid concrete and steel rebar as if it were tissue paper, firing off it's back mounted turrets at any occupants in the building it came across, killing dozens before emerging on the other side, sending chunks of masonry flying outwards in all directions as it let loose a high pitched warble SKREEEEEOOOOWWWWW!!!!.
"Shoot it! I don't care where, just shoot it!" Tombstone barked through his Car's speakers as a pair of missiles streaked out from his car and smashed into the Disembowler's underbelly even as vivesectors were flying underneath through the sewer systems to try and set up an ambush. The missiles caused the metallic monster to stagger, almost halting as it reeled from the impact as a mighty KABOOOOM!!! split the air, but the colossus soon began to pick up momentum again. Still, it did put some distance between them and the beast. However, that giant, multifaceted, glowing green optic certainly didn't look as well armoured as the rest of it's body. Perhaps a barrage of minigun bullets to it could blind the beast.
Joker only did as well as he did because Batman doesn't kill. Unfortunately for him, Ra's is like a more skilled Batman who does kill. An unarmoured Ra's managed to beat a fully equipped Batman, which speaks to his inhuman amounts of skill, and pretty much anytime Joker and Batman had a fair fight, Joker got creamed. So it stands to reason that the Joker is going to get annihilated here.
This is awesome. So is DC Santa like Marvel Skyfather level? I'm totally buying that story!
Well, every year he goes to Apokalips to give Darkseid a richly deserved lump of coal. Every year Darkseid keeps on making more imaginative ways to keep Santa out. Every year Darkseid doesn't do much more than scorch Santa's suit a little.