Vine Prodigies, I'm pretty sure that was the herald of the site's downfall.
Tellumo's forum posts
1 Week Ago or 7 Days Ago or 168 Hours Ago, There's More But I Can't Be Bothered, Long Story Short This Happened A While Ago, Happy You Numberphiliac?!
The metal interior of his bedroom projected a cold vibe akin to a prison, Tellumo sensed this so he coated the walls with a collection of posters described as 'Moe'. A spark appeared in the room, this spark grew into a bright light which spread and spread further to coat the entrance of the room. With a sonic boom shaking the foundations of the room a silhouette stepped through the bright doorway. This shape moved forward becoming clearer to reveal itself as Terra, she spoke loud and confidently with the elegant demeanour that is expected of a god.
"Alphonse it is time for you to fulfill your end of our -!"
She broke her sentence when she noticed that he remained asleep, despite the flattened sun in the room which followed the small explosive sound. The Goddess, visually displeased, slapped the snoring runt, still not awake she followed the forward motion with a back hand, finally awaking him. He awoke with a shout.
"I'mma burn you martian raccoons!"
Until taking in his surroundings and guest.
"Hey dollface, what's going on?"
"It's time, ascend to the higher plane with me where we shall remain for eternity as the God and Goddess of Earth, as husband and wife."
In that instant he promptly threw up in his mouth and then left the room via the base's teleportation technology.
Kinda now-ish, not enough numbers for you then?! How about 42?!
It's been one week. One week is all it's taken for the Gods who most have brushed off as myths and stories to destroy the history that Tellumo had built as a hero, New Orleans, Ninjas, Vampires, Tenebrasque In, Zodiac, hell even the Vine Prodigies. Their human guises are that of corporate world owners, billionaires, media moguls, they hold the worlds in their hands and they're aiming it at like a gun with the crosshairs on Tellumo.
Our scene shifts to one of the largest news stations on the planet, figure out which one it is yourself. Headlines flow 'Tellumo Terrorist Watch' etcetera, etcetera, these braiwash the populace. Luckily Alphonse isn't the dullest knife in the corpse, he knows that he needs help, his team is being watched so they're of little use, except in the case of divine intervention, then again divine forces are the enemy right now. The only way he can get the help he needs is through the almighty power of irony.
He bursts through the doors of the studio, blasting away all who oppose him with blasts of air. As he pushed away the elderly newscaster he looked into the camera with a look of intensity that has never been seen before.
"By now you probably think I'm some kinda evil mastermind, you are wrong and you are dumb. It's not your fault, we're all dumb that's what makes us human, we learn and get better, which baby came out with an astrophysics degree? But right now you can't afford to be dumb. You can't afford to be human. Because humanity isn't the one in control right now, it's Gods. All of them, the Roman, Egyptians, Greeks, Chinese, Japanese, Lovecraftian, there's more that I can't think of when I'm trying to Jeff Winging it. They wanna take me and make me one of them, I like being human, even one with powers, I like being dumb, reckless and being able to have emotions and not have my life defined by ancient God bulls#it. So you can wage war against me, 'a terrorist', or you can be human and learn the difference between reality and what you're being forcefed. I think that's it umm Row Row Fight Da Powah!"