I bought a Vizio tablet today. I've decided to give my nephew my iPad because screw it, life is a party.

I'm turning twenty-nine tomorrow and apparently people still feel the need to celebrate, which I don't feel is necessary. Family members should have gotten the clue when I didn't show up to my own party last year. Every candle, cake, balloon and pony rental is just a reminder that I'm five, ten, twenty, maybe forty years from death. It's just a shame I have to work tonight and tomorrow night.

It all started out with drinking, pool, an invite and Tetris Splash. Since then it's been nothing but streaming horse movies on Netflix and misplaced work supplies (mine). I'm getting strange questions. But more importantly, horse movies that should have never been aired on Animal Planet and Oxygen. In fact, I'm sure most of them were banned from cable. How do I tell this girl to leave? Three horrible days are more than enough.

I don't know how the wiki points thing works, especially since I have nothing to contribute. I wonder if copy-editing counts? Other than that, I think the rest of the people on this website have everything pretty much covered.

Moose just got back to his dorm after a long day of getting shocked, ridiculed and blasting fools with his crew, the P1rates. To his surprise, Spider-Man waited at Moose's place for three hours, plotting the Ultimate Stomp. Who wins the breakdance battle of the century?

A friend of mine died about a week ago, which came as a shock. His wife cried on my shoulder and I just sat there not knowing how to make it better. They were so much in love and I respected him above all people. There is no telling what will happen at the funeral or if I will be willing to go. I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling about everything.

I'm going to see Thor with my sexy, retarded co-worker today. I hope it's as disappointing as everyone says it is.

I actually don't know if the things I do accomplish would be defined as good, whether it's dumping an old lady's cardboard when she isn't looking, accompanying a child through a busy crosswalk after my overnight shift or giving a group of homeless people a pizza I scrounged six dollars in nickels and dimes for hours usually resulting in my eating nothing for at least a few hours. Usually, the good things are only a matter of convenience and don't make me feel any better for it.
My sister came to my apartment a few days ago proclaiming me to be her favorite sibling, that she was there to visit me and see how I was doing. She lingered for a good five hours after my shift had ended, so she obviously believed my schedule was like any other schedule. Wake up, get ready, work and come home to be a productive, yet available, brother with open arms to everyone who has a story to tell. I was extremely tired from lifting pallets, moving boxed furniture around and prioritizing tedious small boxes to make the pick process less of a hassle. Regardless, I can't sleep when someone else is in the room. I can't even nod off. She napped for two hours as I watched the Watchmen, woke up and finally asked me to let her borrow forty dollars. While I should have preferred she be more direct, I didn't even bother mentioning it. I gave her the money not thinking if I needed it later so she would leave. She left and I still couldn't sleep. I had the same nonsense going through my mind till work: I gave her money to leave my apartment. I didn't help her out one bit. She probably won't even pay me back.
With work, I know people aren't good enough to do what I do because they have failed time and time again. Managers run around in circles, co-workers walk around or lift cases like they're waking up from a nap and the other shifts are all advocates for bleeding the system. When someone brings something back on five pallets they could have put on one giant pallet, I hit each and every single pallet instead of correcting the problem by saying something to the managers. I have mentioned this to the stockers themselves, but it usually doesn't matter to them. I also don't want to see people get fired because they're inefficient. I won't say anything to the higher-ups because A)I don't get paid to squeal, B)if they haven't figured out who is wasting time, they don't deserve an opinion and C)my main focus is keeping up with the flow, despite the random nonsense I have to put up with. Also, if I see someone confused by an idea, I do it instead. It's not to alleviate them of the responsibility of stressing out. It's to get it done and done right.
Nearly every Christmas is always the same. I basically cut off every sibling on the presents and focus mainly on the children and it cuts a big hole in my pocket. My nephews and nieces all have a different, positive reaction to a big box with my name on it. Sometimes I outdo everyone else by accident because I expect they should do better. Sometimes I just pick gifts out that I like, that I'll never play with or even see in my lifetime staring at me in my room. The reaction is a simple hug, sometimes too long for my comfort; maybe the children can even sense that I squirm and show discomfort, which usually results in short goodbyes. I just know I would rather drop off the gifts and hope no one notices. With the siblings, they give me presents I never wanted in the first place. It's a basic metaphor for our relationship, hoping I would grow into their lifestyle and settle for things like a mortgage, the mental anguish of a nagging significant other or children of my own to cripple with rules and limits. I won't compare baby photographs or resort to the directions portion of the conversation or reminisce the days that seemed a whole lot worse. That's even more ridiculous than the thought of giving because it's expected or doing good because only good comes out of it.
I just recently changed my off days to the regular weekends, which is pretty new to me. My family thinks it's to be there for any special occasions that happen throughout the year despite the fact they'll celebrate a cold ending. My co-workers think it's to share the same days as the girl they think I'm in love with, although I've seen her every single day or she texts me when I'm extremely busy doing nothing. My managers think it's so I can be there for the new releases or to party, in which case I don't care to do either. They're just days in the week to me, but there is something about a sunsets on Sundays that I find calming. After I watched my nephew's baseball team lose the other day, I watched the sunset with him in the grass. I listened to him run out of things to say, which always makes me smile. I gave nothing. No advice, no presents. Nothing.
I don't actually know why I put so much effort into thinking about good efforts. There are probably positive changes I've made, but they don't come to mind at all right now. I dwell so much on it that it leaves a big headache. I should just like to know that I feel genuine about my actions if ever I opened my mouth in real life. I can only guess it stems from the Christmas I wanted a pony and got an Nintendo Powerglove© instead.

 

Definition of ALTRUISM

This is mainly about the dealings with a female assistant manager somewhere along her late fifties who has periodically harassed me throughout the years, mostly sexual in nature. Most of the male co-workers who witnessed it think it's funny based on my past relationships with an older woman and that it's "every man's dream," when in fact it's a turn-off in a purely business sense. Every direction, task and grueling workday has been nothing more than a complete waste of time. In a sense that if I showed up to work to do my job and it wasn't deemed important enough to fulfill every obligation, rather questions about my personal life and her constantly filling me in on how her ex-husband is addicted to drugs (and I care, I really do) superseding anything business-like and professional.
I don't think it's flattering so much as despicable, because it affects my closest co-workers as well. Not so much their connection to me, but her complete disregard for foreign and uneducated people, as she puts it. But being that English is their second language and that my shying away from conversation with the manager puts her off, she naturally singles them out.
My first example would be my Albanian friend, who is in his forties and has had extensive surgery on his brain (in the past year), works one of the largest departments which is basically a total of eight hours of work, but he has to move on to three other departments whereas the sycophant on his off days works his department for a total of eight hours without touching the excesses. Sometimes the invalid never finishes one department. Now, naturally, I don't necessarily think of it as bigotry on her part. The flattery from the lesser worker might strike a chord with the assistant, being that she has no respect in her home life (again, I don't know why female managers tell me anything) and so he is entitled to stay in one area and bring freight that I cannot verify. I don't associate with lazy people or speak to them, except that they should hurry up or work more efficiently. I never tell my Albanian friend anything of the sort.
The second example would be my Mexican friend. I trained her in every department, in terms of time efficiency and she will occasionally help with the audits. There used to be a saying in the company I work for: "going above and beyond your job description," in which case, she fits the mold. Her accent and almost adorable demeanor has plagued her with rumors of being "trash" and a "slut," usually started by a CSM whose mannerisms border on tweaker or speedfreak. Again, the assistant manager is heavily involved in all things CSM, going above and beyond her scope of understanding to write her up for hearsay, supposed rumors of having intercourse with everyone (including me) in her car on the parking lot and deviating truths to bring her closer to the brink of tears. If I know my friend well enough, being caught between two job codes, a set of rumors, I can understand her frustrations just fine. I wouldn't know how to react once being brought into the office to discuss a fantasy social life, either. On top of that, she has seizures. The assistant and store manager simply asked her, "What makes you think customers care if you have seizures?"
Now I know all these things aren't completely related, but it seems even my ex-girlfriend is bearing the blunt harshness of the assistant manager's myopic skills of deduction, practically singled out in terms of time efficiency and lax communication skills. In fact, up to this point she has gotten an exceeds on all of her evaluations. Now that I'm no longer around, the former department manager of electronics has moved up to support manager in the store, basically tarnishing her reputation by comparing her to someone who only partially fills her area on her off days, then proceeds to stress her out every time he walks by saying she has only an hour left after bugging her for the first thirty minutes of the night. She called me in tears asking me what I think she should do and I simply told her to document everything, grow a backbone or they would trample her to death.
In my case, I've had dealings with all types of bad, awful people in the entire time I've been working. Most people don't realize it, but showing up, making up a bunch of nonsense and filling the void isn't an exact science, so moving up the chain of command and being promoted isn't actually a feat. With that said, what gives anyone the right to put themselves above all others for the sake of looking good, without the merit, the leadership skills and common decency everyone preaches? Why should I have to worry about my job because some minx of an assistant has to get laid on company time? that she would be the least of my priorities and knowing this, why does she persist in it at all? This is just one example of the female assistant managerial training at its finest. The rest may not be as vindictive, but they are nevertheless direct and lacking in appeal. I only know from experience that only seven out of eight assistants rarely take their training to heart, since nearly all of them have some type of blackmail or fear by at least three of the associates. Their stories are just as sickening. The ones who usually give into the playful nature of these disgusting people are usually spent in two years time, meaning they have practically nothing more to offer.
I recently started documenting everything that is said to me by any managers. I keep my mouth shut, occasionally lower tempers with a quick joke or two and try my hardest to guide people in a better direction, clear of getting themselves fired because prejudice and sexual harassment rule over policy itself. Of course, policy is just a means to protect higher-ups from the workers and not the other way around. I wish I could change things.