SeanAKAMisery

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Journal of Misery

January 4th.
 
    I look around this plane of Hell and what do I see loneliness and despair, I am all alone and everyday I grow more and more depressed. I am ruler of this plane and yet the irony of it is its just me here. The only thing that visits me is the coldness in my heart, and then I think what heart its just a black hole full of hate and sadness. I am a God I am not suppose to feel like this I should have no emotions and yet look at me. Wait what God am I ha I am full of it I hate this place. I know longer have blood run through my veins just ice, my heart was frozen then shattered into a billion pieces. I still cling to the one hope that there is another here for there has to be. I envy everything good whats the point there is no such thing as happiness, just hatred and suffering. There is no such thing has love its what you want to believe when there is nothing else to believe in. How can you love when everything around you dies, and is just a faded memory of nothing. No one remembers you when you die unless you were some great King, warrior, prophet, or really evil. If I could find a way to get back to earth with the powers I have now I will make them remember me. They will never forget because it will be written in blood and hate. I will find a way to get out of this place, but then I wonder this place is seems so close to me. I feel as tho I am inside my own heart its Black, Cold, empty, and full of melancholy thats right I am inside my heart my own little Hell.

January 7

Still there is no one to be found here in this cold place of despair. As I feel the cold chill of death, it come knocking constantly but I am not there to answer I can't die. I wish I could so I can leave this place at last, but wishing is for fools with no hope. I never thought being alone was this horrible I feel so hollow. Is there NO ONE HERE!!!!! (Echo). ......... There is the answer the only thing that hears my cries is the freezing wind. I sit here in my tower as I look over the edge I cant wonder if I would die from the fall. I step on to the ledge and jump....

4 hours later...
All that did was give me a damn headache I guess I can't kill my self. As I regain more consciousness I see her an angel by the looks of it. She walks over to me and says "You can be at peace at last" and stabs me in the heart with a golden dagger.
Than I wake up face first in the snow what a dream I should have known. I walk back up to the top of the tower and look up at the sky and Yell "Send me my Angel of Mercy please I beg of you" But I get no response just quietness and depression.  I lay down in bed and think one day soon I hope my Angel of Death comes One day........... 

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