What's your order?

Just wanna see how people would arrange these 5 items in oder of most important to least.
 
1. T.V
2. Movies
3. Comics
4. Internet
5. Video Games
 
and if there's time... bathing.lol

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would you?

I've found a few copies of Iron Man 2 on the net but they're in russian now I for sure will not be watching these but i've seen comments from people saying how even though they didn't understand a word of it, they still watched it. 
 
Isn't that just ruining it for yourself?

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Das Gooons Issue #3

das goons #3

das goons #3 variant
 
 
 Saif: Man this f#ckin’ sux. First Captain Stupid over here has his eyes closed when we tell him to watch the door then those aliens sneak in and rip off Berserker’s balls...

Milo: Dick too...

Saif: Bitch shut up I’m talking here, I’m Han solo and your Chewy...

Fraz: Ooh... Ooh! Who am I?

Saif: You’re Greedo and if you screw up again I swear to God I will shoot your ass and I don’t care if you shoot first. So like I was saying those things ripped poor Berserker’s arms and legs off and then you pussies take off.

Milo: Wait... You were the first one out the door dude.

Saif: That’s not how we’re gonna remember it. And that’s not even the worst part I do believe was your idea to come to Honest Ed’s and what happened when we got here? Hmm?? I’m sorry I don’t hear you saying anything...

Milo: We...we got captured... And put into a mid evil prison cell. But that’s not my fault, I didn’t know they had mid evil prisons here. They have everything here...F#ck these bargains.

Fraz: Guys we’re gonna be ok. I can get us out of here.

Milo & Saif: You can get us out of here?

Fraz: Yes I can. Now Milo I’m gonna need you to get me Level four plasma cutter. Saif I need you to get me a snorkel, an avocado and a screw driver. That should be enough for me to make good robot uses. Then they’ll brake us out of here, go back in time and save the princess.

Saif and Milo look at each other and know that this is where Fraz is most likely gonna get them killed. Suddenly the door to their prison cell burst open with a mighty thump. The crash of the door hitting the wall send a frightening sensation through Saif and Milo and the two boys embrace each other in a hug of desperation.

Milo: We’re gonna die... I’m sorry man, your my best friend and now we’re gonna die together.

Saif: Me too man... I’m sorry for all those mom jokes, I never f#cked your mom, I just really really wanted to man and now I’m gonna die without knowing what your mom looks like naked. It’s not fair!

Milo give Saif the dirtiest look he could ever give another man.

Milo: If we weren’t gonna die right now I’d f#cking kill you.

Standing at the door of the cell is what could be the most beautiful young woman on the face of the earth. She stands about 5,9” with a short black and red bob hair cut. She is wearing a very tight Honest Ed’s shirt and a revealing lil’ mini skirt. And we can’t forget about the fish net panty hose that go from her black knee high boots up those lushes thighs, under that mini skirt to what I’m gonna call nirvana.

Titty: Hi I’m Titty McAnal and I’m sorry you boys were thrown down here. No one is supposed to be down here, we use this as a haunted spook house for little kids on Halloween. But you boys do know these walls are pure plastic right? I mean a four year old girl could break this door down.

The boys can’t help but stare at how beautiful Titty is, Saif even has his tongue hang out of his mouth and is even drooling a little bit. (Honestly Saif need to get laid soon, I fear for him.)

Milo: Ya …ya we know that. We just didn’t want to be rude and ruin all the hard work you and your titties… I mean friends did… here…titties, f#ck!

Saif: Don’t mind my friend here he just doesn’t how to talk to a sweet, sweet lady like yourself. You know I have the world’s largest penis not in length but girth you see.

Titty: Oh really???

Saif: No it’s just a more believable lie then saying I have the world’s longest penis.

Titty: Well that’s good for you. I’m just gonna turn away from you now but that doesn’t mean I think your weird.

Saif: F#ck why did I say that?

Fraz: Clearly you like Titty so much that the thought of lying to her makes you feel so bad that your body physically will not allow you to. It’s very simple you see, you may act like a giant gay robot asshole but you really have a heart of gold.

Milo: Wow Fraz I swear that was probably the most intelligent thing you have ever said. I’m proud of you buddy.

Fraz: Ya I watch lots of Dr. Phil.

Titty: If you boys are ready I’ll take you to see our leader. The great Paintball.

The boys follow Titty out of the cell and up a set of stairs to the main floor of Honest Ed‘s. Once there Titty leads them through the wonderful maze of bargains that is Honest Ed‘s all the way to the sporting goods department. There in the sports department they see a small group of colourful characters and in the center of the group and man dress in black pants and suspenders with a paintball mask as well. But more interesting than that is the fact that this man has a pair of bunny ear on his head just like Milo does.

Paintball: So these are the three guys you captured eh? It’s a good thing you brought them to me Titty, we have a lot to talk about. So now boys I hear we’ve had quite an interesting night so far. Lets see first there was that little encounter with those things on the roof top and lets not forget how you boys got Berserker killed.

Saif: It wasn’t so much us getting him killed as it was us sorta running for our lives and letting him get killed. It’s a very fine line you see.

Paintball: Yes I’m sure that’s the way you’ll be remembering it. But that’s not why I summoned you here, I need to speak with that one there, with the ears. Now everyone leave my thrown room..

Fraz: Don’t you mean the sports-room-type-place-thi
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a question about cable?

Back in the first or second arc or cable and deadpool, cable removed part of his brain and was basically powerless. He then got a special force feild that acted as a his new telekinesis and also got the power to talk to computers, sorta get his pyschic powers back. 
 
Now in messiah war he used his actual psychic powers against stryfe. Did he get his powers back or did the writer just now know about what cable did to himself?

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Das Gooons Issue #2



das goons #2


Das goons #2 variant

 
 
 
 An hour has gone by since our hero’s first encounter with the black creatures. They are racing through the broken streets of Toronto in Fraz’s bubble van, searching for the house of the only person who might be able to tell them what’s going on. But will this person have the answers the goons are looking for? Will they be able to solve the mystery behind this mini apocalypse?

Saif: What the f#ck do you mean you don’t know where Berserker’s house is? It was your f#cking idea to find this guy.

Fraz: It’s around here somewhere. Don’t get your lil’ gay robot panties in a bunch. I don’t want you leaking any of your robotic love juices all over the seat.

Milo: We should call Marcus.

Saif: Who the f#ck is Marcus?

Milo: I don’t know man... I don’t know.

Saif: You know what guys? I hate you both. I do, I really do...

Fraz: Would you two shut up, I need to concentrate... I need to...use all my brain powers...and remember...re...mem...ber.

Milo: Dude I think he just crapped his pants.

Saif: And I think I just f#ck your mom.

Fraz: Oh hey, ya. He lives in front of that sushi restaurant.

Milo and Saif both throw their hands in the air and yell out.

Milo & Saif: AAAHHH!!!

Fraz makes a quick u-turn and steps on the gas. The goon’s very lives might depend on what this man knows. Shortly after the goons arrive back at Mr. Cookie’s, thankfully the street looks clear.

Fraz: Ok everybody out of the van.

Milo: And you’re sure this guy can help us?

Fraz: Guys, he’s smart, super smart. So smart that when he’s colouring... he doesn’t go outside the lines.

Saif: Which is a huge problem for you isn’t it?

Fraz: How did you know that?

Milo: Wait...what if they got to him already? What if they ate his ass and now they’re waiting for us. I don’t want them eating my ass guys. I promised my ass we’d see Paris one day.

Saif: Ya or they didn’t, you’re a dumb ass, and your dick still looks like a pancake.

Milo: Not cool dude... not cool.

The boys get out of the van and take up a back to back to back position slowly circling as they get closer to Berserker’s front door. Ever vigilant, eyes scanning the street. Ready to take on anything that this weird and crazy night will throw at them.

Saif: Fraz go check it out.

Fraz nods his head at Saif and sprints off toward Berserker front door. When Fraz gets to the door he notices that it’s been ripped off the hinged and thrown to the other side of the street. Whatever did this must have had the strength of a hundred young school girls, or 10 strong guys however you wanna look at it? Fraz walks in and see a light coming from under a door.

Fraz: Guys you coming or what?

The boys quickly run over to where Fraz is.Fraz shushes Milo and Saif before they say anything. The boys glance at each other with a confused look of their faces. Fraz points at the light shining from below the door and then starts making these weird signs with his hands, the boys just look at him. Milo shrugs his shoulders at Fraz and mouths the words “What are you doing?” Fraz repeats the signs again. Saif being the impatient jerk he is breaks the silence by screaming out.

Saif: What the f#ck are you doing, what are you Helen Keller all of a sudden? What’s with the signs?

Fraz: They’re navy seals signs...

Saif: Dude we’re not navy seals!

The doors bursts open and Saif and Milo jump in the air with shock. Saif lands quickly, hands up and ready to kick some ass. Milo lands in Fraz’s arms like a little bitch. Standing there in the door way is a young man dress in a pair of modest looking jeans, a nice button down top and glasses that look like they were straight out of a revenge of the nerd movie.

Berserker: You guys want some cookies?

Fraz: Cookies!

Fraz drops Milo like a sack of potatoes and follows Berserker into the room. Saif helps Milo back to his feet and they boys walk into the room as well. Inside the room is a lonely desk with a laptop on it and bunch papers marked top secret.

Berserker: Well are you guys ready to know the truth about what’s going on?

Saif: Yes.

Milo: Yes

Fraz: No... I mean yes...

Berserker: All right here it is as best I could piece it together. We all know that whatever is going on started this morning. But I can tell you where and how.

Berserker sits down in front of his laptop while the boys gather behind him.

Saif: Someone should watch the door just in case. And by someone I mean Fraz.. So get to watchin’.

Fraz slugs his way over to the door.

Fraz: Ok you guys can do your “super fun getting to know what trying to kills us presentation” While I stand here... by myself... all alone... no one to talk to.

Berserker: Ok I think I can start now. So like I was saying I can tell you where this all started and I think you’ll be surprised.

(The Following is super secret don’t tell anyone secret.)

7:10 am: Christopher Walken, Al Pacino and Ginger Spice are doing their weekly grocery shopping at a local Loblaw’s.

7:23 am: While Al Pacino handles a pair of melons a horde of genetically altered bats burst out of the air ducts and attack the innocent shoppers.

7:27 am: The bats get Ginger Spice and suck out all the blood she has in her veins.

7:35 am: A small group of survivor take refuge in the cold cuts counter. While Christopher Walken makes his way to the manager’s office to call to a very important person that can send backup.

7:45 am: Zordon send the original cast of the Power Rangers to help but as they arrive via teleport the bats quickly eat the black and yellow rangers.

7:52 am: The remaining Power Rangers fight their way to the survivors. The Rangers try to get the survivor to the front door but lose many people to the bats as well as two more Rangers.

8:01 am: The final remaining Ranger (the pink one) makes a valiant last stand against the bats as she wields twin salami nunchucks. But nothing can stop the fury of these hell beasts as they rip her to shreds.

8:09 am: The corpses of the bats victims come back to life and break their way through the door to the unsuspecting public.

8:13 am: The Special Tactics and Rescue Service division of the local police department arrive to handle the threat.

8:22 am: Just as it seems like victory is in reach a giant robotic Abraham Lincoln shows up and attacks the cops and vampires.

8:39 am: A clan of ninja rabbits attack the Giant robot and vampires only to be stopped by the arrival of Optimus Prime.

8:56 am: Optimus thrashes about killing the vampires and starts going to work on the giant Abe Lincoln. Just as Optimus was about to hit him with a finishing blow Shaq came out of nowhere and opened up a can of Shaq fu on the transformer.

9:08 am: Bill S Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan show up and they take down Shaq with a fury of walloping punches.

9:24 am: The ninja rabbits attack the remaining combatants but that doesn’t last too long as the most powerful mortal walking the face of the earth shows himself. The rabbits collectively shit a brick as they watch Chuck mother f#ckin’ Norris walk up and in what can only be described as a lightning flash of crotch shots takes out every living and nonliving thing in the Loblaw’s parking lot.

9:26 am: Chuck Norris stands victorious with the head of The Rock in one hand and a pair rabbit ears in the other. But then that’s when it happened, a meteor strikes the parking lot instantly killing everything within a two mile radius.

Berserker: So I believe that the alien bacteria combined with the vampire virus and Chuck Norris’s DNA created a super duper virus that reanimated the reanimated corpses. I know it’s all very complicated but I hope you understand what I’m saying here.

Milo: So they aren’t zombies... their alien vampire Chuck Norris’s.

Saif: Told you dude aliens. Aliens, aliens, aliens, f#cked your mother, aliens. And on that note Fraz do you see anything over there?

Fraz: No... I don’t see anything...

Saif: Wait... Are your eyes open?

Fraz: They are now...

Just as Milo, Saif and Berserker turn to look at Fraz a black hand reaches out from under the desk and grabs Berserker’s groin. Berserker notices the hand, but it’s too late. Before he can make a move it rips off his balls and cock. (Personally I’d rather have a pancake dick than no dick.) Berserker lets out a tremendous yell and the boys turn back to look at what he screamed out about.

Milo: Holy shit!

Saif: Holy shit!

Fraz: Burrito supreme!

Fin 
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