My Favorite Deadpool Quotes
An ever-expanding list of my favorite Deadpool-isms. Yeah, just starting it, but it will hopefully be rife with sarcasm.
List items
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"Geez...I'm sorry...That must've really hurt. Let me put you out of my misery."
Author - Fabian Nicieza
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"Ouch! Quit with the jaw, will you?! Had my mouth wired shut for two months a little while ago... Again with the jaw!"
Author - Fabian Nicieza
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"Pardon me, but your face is in my elbow."
Author - Mark Waid
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"It's illegal to yell 'fire' in a crowded fight scene."
"I knew I shouldn'ta taken that left turn at Albuquerque. I tawt I taw a molten vat."
Author - Mark Waid
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"Just send me a postcard. Maybe a souvenir. I run extra-large in a "Banshee and Siryn fought Black Tom and all I got was this stupid T-shirt."
Author - Mark Waid
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"Banshee -- Siryn -- Hit it! Give me a 'C'! A bouncy 'C'!"
Author - Mark Waid
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Deadpool: "Hmmph... Mrrggg... Hmphh..!"
Dr. Weisman: "Let's take off that gag and his mask and see what he's trying to say."
Deadpool: "I said: Hmmph... Mrrggg... Hmphh..!"
Author - Jeph Loeb
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Arm gets cut off. "Hey--I was using that!"
Author - Frank Tieri
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"Quick. Lapham. Let me see the script. I need to play catch-up. I don't care if it's not 'copy edited.' I have a situation here!"
Author - Dave Lapham
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To the reader: "Sorry, kids. I'm on the phone with my assistant editor. I'll be with you in a minute... Which, in Marvel Time, could take about seven issues." Back on the phone: "We gotta do this quick, dude. They're here. Yeah, that's the problem! I'm on the cover, but the story is over and I wasn't in it!"
Author - Marc Sumerak
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"Famine's dope beats got me again! The rhythm really is gonna get you."
Author - Rick Remender
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To mercenaries: "I've seen tougher G.I. Joes than you!...Come to think of it, I've seen tougher Ken dolls than you! An' I mean take your pick here: Mod Hair Ken; Summer Fun Ken; I-Let-Barbie-Whip-Me-'Cos-I'm-a-Wuss-Ken."
Author - Fabian Nicieza
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"Well...ummff...I'd kill you again...mmrgghmm...if you'd stop...ooomph...kicking the snot outta me!"
Author - Fabian Nicieza
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After shooting two full rounds into the chest of an undead FDR: "Just so everybody knows -- the wheelchair guy started it!"
Authors - Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn
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She-Hulk kicks Dazzler into the ocean and then asks Deadpool where his strong, smart, fun, attractive woman is. He responds: "Well, she was just here a second ago... but the sea has her now."
Authors - Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn
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After undead president Ford stumbles into a helicopter rotor blade: "I really hope the Franklin Mint releases a commemorative plate of that classic Gerry Ford moment."
Authors - Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn
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"I always thought if I jumped off a bridge it would be over a girl and I'd be nude and listening to the Smiths."
Writers - Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn
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"...I'm gonna kick his junk until his butt poops his ghost."
Writers - Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn
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